Intro to Disillusionment

[ddiggesParticipant 29]

Hello… This my introduction to how I became disillusioned with women. I know it’s long but I need to get this out there. From a very young age I discovered although not completely consciously at age 8 that women or girls were not to be trusted. I think this may be an experience of a lot of male children. Even in my limited rural area where other children to play with were not very numerous. I was physically abused by bigger older girls. Tricked into participating in sexual exploration then shamed by my parents when the female told her parents. Used as a worker to please girls wanting to play house. Chased down like an animal being hunted by wild packs of girls on the playground at school. Got mock married in the sand box by a misguided student teacher. These are the ones that stick out in my mind as early conditioning by all the females around me. Not really that bad but those experiences primed me for what disasters would come later in my life. This is not something I talk about often but I was sexualy used by an adult woman when I was 13 just post puberty my curiosity about female anatomy was just beginning this continued for a few years I never actually had intercourse with her but was trained to please her and she never reciprocated. I never told anyone at that time but as I got older guilt plagued me and led to a lot of mental anguish which continued through most of my adult life. I was a typical rebel teenager but with born again christian parents I was burdened with more guilt for wanting to be a normal kid and listen to secular rock music the creation of the devil. My mother was extremely depressed at that time and would often lock herself in her bedroom while I cared for my five younger brothers after school until my father came home. I turned to alcohol as a coping mechanisim which got me put in rehab when a crazy girlfriend I broke up with told the whole school and faculty I had a substance problem being a minor I had no choice in the matter. At 17 I was rewarded by my mother for being the third parent with a note telling me to get out of her house now this was a tough love thing popular with born again christian parents. I was eating up essential resources needed for my younger siblings and after all I was worshiping the devil you know. While living in my car in the city I got mixed up with a girl much older than me who introduced me to hard drugs and turned out to be of the Neo Nazi persuation. She threatened to hunt me down and kill me when I broke it off claiming to be pregnant with my child. Somehow I escaped with some sanity through my twenties and thirties into the arms of one after another women who cheated on me with other men. Every time I believed it would be different how stupid I was. After that I fell into deep despair and depression locking myself in my studio apartment in a crack neighborhood for almost a year contemplating suicide. I managed to pull myself out of my trance and met what I thought was a nice women she was possibly the one she had rich parents and a nice house which I moved into. It lasted six months I have never been nagged so much in my entire life she was a moody emotional wreck of an alcoholic who slept until noon and demanded all my attention did nothing for me while I cut her lawn cooked for her and cleaned her house. She held a part time job at a college with summers off everything she needed she put on mom’s credit card. What a spoiled brat and I had become her slave. One day I packed my truck and left. Now I realize I’ve alwas wanted to be free of women in my life I was being controlled by my dick. I’m 44 now I live alone with my best friend an Australian Shepard. I occasionally date when I feel like it but I am happier than I have been my entire life being single and a MGTOW.

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option" Mark Twain

[heads-upParticipant 320]

Wow,thats a real roller coaster u been riding but glad you are finding some peace in your life Disillusioned.

ddigges wrote:

One day I packed my truck and left

cool beans 🙂

[AngularParticipant 114]

Damn man, I only been sexually assaulted by an older women once and had two bitches accuse me of trying to kill them which had me taken to court then they said they made it all up and got away scotch free and I thought that was bad but compared to you I had it easy but damn i am lucky i am in my 20’s and know all of this so I am lucky or blessed that I can learn from you all. and I wish you keep on finding happiness in your life.

[WallyParticipant]

You have been through the meat grinder, glad you made it through and have found happiness. While sitting here and reading your story I am looking at my own dog and I realize the only love we can be sure of in this world is the love we get from our dogs.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[RennieParticipant]

I learned not to trust them from a young age too for various reasons, mainly stemming from the bad treatment and psychotic behavior they dealt me over the years.

The life they aren’t a part of, is the life for me.

[RoyDalParticipant]

ddigges wrote:

I live alone with my best friend an Australian Shepard.

We ended up in the same place, except mine is a different breed. You had it much rougher than I did, but my experiences from kindergarten on up were of the same ilk.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Another poor bastard alights a mgtow station ….. and what a s~~~ journey.

We can’t get you compensation or a refund on that life ….. but we can show you where the mgtow train is …… and you will note all carriages are first class.

I wish I could have a dog …. but my job and environment won’t allow. Maybe a good retirement gift for myself.

Welcome.

[ddiggesParticipant 29]

Thanks for the warm welcome. I’m glad to be here I think mgtow is a great man space for leaning and understanding the impossible to understand completely for the men the W word. I look forward to sharing thoughts and ideas with all you folks. Cheers!

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option" Mark Twain

[Anonymous 29]

Well it looks like you traveled a road full of potholes.
Good to see you recovering and welcome.

[Author]

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