importance of fathers (vent)

[knightslayerParticipant 36]

as i get older, i realize how much having an absent father has impacted me; i think i’m becoming resentful the more i see him. the other day i when i was at his house, he tried to 1up me by mentioning someone he thought was better at my trade as if he had some part in their success. he’s never shown me any approval despite having competed in the junior olympics and receiving a presidential award for academics among other accomplishments.  yet to him, i’m the defective child.

sometimes, i knock him down a few notches by proving how hypocritical he is when he gets in my face about something and he’ll proudly admit that he’s done wrong. in my head i’ll think: “yeah, it took you four kids from several different marriages to realize how badly you were f~~~ing up.” maybe that’s harsh, but this is a man who shamed me for going to therapy. it’s difficult for me to respect someone who not only laughs in my face when he belittles me, but never wraps up and tolerates a wife who tries to control his income and what he does with his dick even though he says he can’t wait to divorce her so he can leave the country and knock up another broad.

i really don’t want to blame anyone for my depression/emotional blunting/social anxiety, but the more i listen to mgtow’s about the importance of fathers, the more i wonder how different my life would have been if i at least had a positive male influence growing up.

[Anonymous 11]

@knightslayer:

You are so damn right. My father passed when I was 15 well over 30 years ago now. However, the example of pure masculinity he provided me during that brief period he was with me was what kept me from ever becoming a mangina during my blue pill days. He gave me a spine and taught me so much. Of course, he was from a way different generation where men were still men.

Even losing him at that age still caused me to have to learn some things the very hard way. Try you best to not let your resentment take control. Be the better man.

[knightslayerParticipant 36]

thanks, man. I will. it seems like a lot of kids are growing up without their fathers or at least the positive influence of one, but with the presence of  mgtow, they now have a resource and a brotherhood to help guide them. i really hope younger guys get the most out of it.

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

Thank you for this topic

Knightslayer  I was one Of the lucky few from a broken home who ended up with a strong male personality to guide me..I don’t know if you have read any of my post but I have told about my father in several topics…He and my grandma raised me up from 4 years old…he lived the last 5 years of his life in my home and never wavered off from being an honorable man….he taught me a lot through the years and never broke character…happy tears thinking about him RIP Winston McKinney.

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

I know this was for you to vent about your father, so I hope you don’t mind I used it to remember mine..

You still have him for what its worth….If I were you, Next time I seen him I would grab him into a hug tighter than he expects and say ” I have to hug you now because I will be p~~~ing on your grave years from now” Don’t crack a smile or laugh..Let  him think about whether you would p~~~ on his grave or not…. If he laughs just scowl at him..

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[knightslayerParticipant 36]

harpo-my-“SON” wrote:

I know this was for you to vent about your father, so I hope you don’t mind I used it to remember mine.. You still have him for what its worth….If I were you, Next time I seen him I would grab him into a hug tighter than he expects and say ” I have to hug you now because I will be p~~~ing on your grave years from now” Don’t crack a smile or laugh..Let him think about whether you would p~~~ on his grave or not…. If he laughs just scowl at him..

not at all, man. it’s nice to see credit given where it’s due. and yeah, i realize that i’m lucky to at least still have mine so i’ll refrain from further complaining; i’ve just internalized it for a long time so i needed to get it off my chest. our family doesn’t share that kind of intimacy so i don’t think that’s something i could do, but it is an interesting thought. i doubt he would care or even take it seriously.

[Soul ManParticipant 1856]

I can relate to the OP here.  My dad split when I was around 5 or 6 I think.  I don’t entirely fault him for wanting out of the marriage…nor do I necessarily fault my mom either.  It was a very convoluted dynamic going on between them.  However, my dad didn’t just leave my mom, he left us kids too.  I didn’t see or speak to my dad again until I was 33.  I have done my best to give him understanding and forgiveness but at the end of the day certain things in my life went very badly because he wasn’t there in the capacity that I needed him to be when I was a kid.  Perhaps he wasn’t capable…I don’t know and will likely never know.  He is still alive but has one foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave.  I don’t hate him.  I forgive him.  I pity him for the human being that he is.  I guess I got to know him in some capacity so I can better understand some things about myself.  However, the full impact of his absence is something that didn’t come in to sharp focus until the past 5 years or so.  I wish he had at least been there for me when I was a kid.  I remember loving that man and thinking the sun rose and set with him.  Then he was gone.  I cannot begin to describe the void that leaves in a little boy who has to stumble his way through life trying to figure out how to be a man in this world.  I can’t harbor hate for him though.  It’s just not in me for whatever reason.  Perhaps my Divine Maker is really behind the wheel more and more in my life these days.  Thank you God.

Dads ARE important…

HISTORY...learn from it, memorize it, DON'T repeat it...

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

Knightslayer

This is an important thing to address no mater if we vent or praise it gets it out of your system and safely around those who won’t judge..

not at all, man. it’s nice to see credit given where it’s due. and yeah, i realize that i’m lucky to at least still have mine so i’ll refrain from further complaining; i’ve just internalized it for a long time so i needed to get it off my chest. our family doesn’t share that kind of intimacy so i don’t think that’s something i could do, but it is an interesting thought. i doubt he would care or even take it seriously.

Your mgtow! you choose if its something you could do… Not your family.. or their social norms…and complain all you need, theres no better place..

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[SurlymonocleParticipant 38]

Soulman’s post really touched me.  I don’t know the best way to agree with him, but he is right.  The only place I would possibly disagree is that Men are needed as much as Fathers are.  I am an uncle, and my nephews really need me.  I can help those boys!  Just because they need me!  I’m not too ashamed to admit it, we need men like “Soulman.” He nailed it right on the head.  So did the OP…not to sound sappy, but this is the place I need to be!

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