I'm on my way to finding my way…

[Dark Ninja DaveParticipant 273]

Hey guys

I’ve been lurking here for a few weeks now, and decided to add my voice to the mix, as another man proud to be going his own way. With the growing numbers, I believe this great community can make a difference for the better. I read the forums and just nod my head, “yes, that explains what I have experienced”.

My story is not too much out-of-the-ordinary. Been through a short-lived marriage and divorce. She loved her gambling (video poker or “pokies” being the poison of choice), and it was a constant source of discord. It was clear the gambling was loved more than me, and I was just a means to fund it. A child came along, then a whole host of personal misfortunes (health problems and loss of the best job I ever had). Wifey just could not act responsibly at all through the tough times. When she wouldn’t commit to counselling, the writing was on the wall and it all imploded from there.

This was several years ago now. Things didn’t work out too bad. Didn’t lose too much in the settlement, and once I had employment again, was able to recover what I lost in a few years. With a stroke of luck, I actually ended with de-facto primary caregiver status of my kid: definitely the one shining light to come out of a dark, dark time.

I tried to get back into relationships, because that is what you are supposed to do, but without any success. I was never exactly a hit with the ladies, and being “broken goods” now, I was despondent that I would never have a partner again. If I did get some initial contact, it would always devolve into this on again/off again bullcrap that suggests that there is someone else on the scene: a better prospect than me.

Do I hate women? I don’t think so, or else I wouldn’t have spent the last 20+ years of my life trying to have one in my life. I certainly appreciate them from an aesthetic point of view! But I do dislike the way (most? all?) modern women seem to treat men, alternatively as someone to ignore or someone to use up.

So rather than hating and being upset, it is better for me to work towards building a life that I can enjoy, by myself. That is where MGTOW comes in. It is so encouraging to read about guys, being successful and happy *without* women, and maybe even being *better* because of it. I see now that I can achieve that too, and it is a big confidence boost knowing that.

In a sense, I’ve always been GMOW. I was into computers before they were cool: long before iPhone and iPad, Apple made a thing called the Apple 2, and I would teach myself programming for it from magazines and books. So I’m a self-professed nerd (which has lead to a decent career, I might add), and not one to bow to peer-group pressure. Never felt comfortable being ostentatious either, so this keeps me under the radar.

I’ll wrap this up before it becomes a wall of text. Just one last thing, after all these years the ex is shaking things up regarding the childrens access issue. It’s starting to get litigious, so looks like I will be having a battle on my hands soon.

I’m looking forward to participating in the forums…

Cheers!

[bladeParticipant]

Dark Ninja Dave wrote:

after all these years the ex is shaking things up regarding the childrens access issue.

Sounds like rough water ahead . Been there .

Welcome bro

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Anonymous 3]

Your on your way to a life of peace & serenity. Welcome! Stick with the winners.
Stick with MGTOW

[ghostParticipant]

Welcome.

[GregB0Participant]

Welcome Dave,

You’ve got a good head on your shoulders and know what needs to be done.

Glad you joined and I hope that you will post more.

Great introduction and summary.

Best

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22506]

The child access issue. Here is why it is rearing up now.

1. The child is older and will soon be able to produce resources for mom to tap into. Since she hasn’t had primary custody she will use a lot of guilt shaming on your child.

2. The child is older and “mom” has not done anything much to raise the child, but is going to get back in touch so that she can brag about “her” kid and elevate her status as a “good mom” because look how well “her” kid is doing. It’s time to add your child as another accessory to her bragging list.

This is what is going on. It is all about her. Her needs. Her monetary/resource needs, and her status needs.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[Manspread MansplainerParticipant 4222]

Dark Ninja Dave wrote:

So rather than hating and being upset, it is better for me to work towards building a life that I can enjoy, by myself. That is where MGTOW comes in. It is so encouraging to read about guys, being successful and happy *without* women, and maybe even being *better* because of it. I see now that I can achieve that too, and it is a big confidence boost knowing that.

Yes!
Not caring about impressing them 23hrs a day (give or take) is liberating. No nagging. No veiled misandry.
Welcome and good luck in your fight!

If women ran the world = It would become the shithole you are seeing.

[Dark Ninja DaveParticipant 273]

Thanks heaps for the warm welcome!

Your acceptance is much appreciated.

It is a great feeling!

[Dark Ninja DaveParticipant 273]

Secret Agent MGTOW wrote:

The child access issue. Here is why it is rearing up now.

1. The child is older and will soon be able to produce resources for mom to tap into. Since she hasn’t had primary custody she will use a lot of guilt shaming on your child.

2. The child is older and “mom” has not done anything much to raise the child, but is going to get back in touch so that she can brag about “her” kid and elevate her status as a “good mom” because look how well “her” kid is doing. It’s time to add your child as another accessory to her bragging list.

This is what is going on. It is all about her. Her needs. Her monetary/resource needs, and her status needs.

Your analysis is spot on Secret Agent MGTOW.

Without going into too much detail, there was a “change of circumstances” for her earlier in the year, and is looking for new streams of income. It’s obvious that the formula is: get kid back > make dad pay child support > profit! Never mind that the kid is happy, settled and doing alright, lets turn their life upside down for easy money!

(I should point out, she is currently obliged to pay *me* CS, but I kind of let it go as it isn’t worth the hassle and I can manage without)

Something for a new thread.

Anyway, I won’t be giving up, it’s definitely the right thing to do!

[OldBillParticipant]

Welcome to MGTOW, Dave.

Dark Ninja Dave wrote:

Do I hate women? I don’t think so, or else I wouldn’t have spent the last 20+ years of my life trying to have one in my life.

That’s great to read because it means you’re already ahead of many of the men who find their way here. Many of us, sadly, need to let go of our hate before we can begin reaping the benefits of MGTOW.

A word regarding letting you ex “slide” with regards to child support payments. That was a mistake and you need to rectify it before she makes another run at gaining custody.

First, getting her documented as a deadbeat parent can only help your case. Tell the state you’re thinking ahead to college and the lump sum she owes will be a good start in the state’s college investment plan. Every state has one of these now, you put aside tax free money which is not only good for in-state tuition but can pay for tuition at a savings.

Second, while women rarely pay child support, the little darlings default on their payments at a rate far higher than men. It will be good to add her to the statistics.

Good luck and kick her ass before she can kick yours.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[Anonymous 8]

Welcome to MGTOW brother.

Dark Ninja Dave wrote:

Just one last thing, after all these years the ex is shaking things up regarding the childrens access issue. It’s starting to get litigious, so looks like I will be having a battle on my hands soon.

I would recommend using the derelict child support payments against her if she wants to take you to court, use her gambling problem too. Do what you have to in order to Protect your seed, but also, respect what your kid wants.

Dark Ninja Dave wrote:

I should point out, she is currently obliged to pay *me* CS, but I kind of let it go as it isn’t worth the hassle and I can manage without

I would also make an official record of that.

When men fail pay child support they go to jail.

[Dark Ninja DaveParticipant 273]

OldBill wrote:

Welcome to MGTOW, Dave.

Dark Ninja Dave wrote:

Do I hate women? I don’t think so, or else I wouldn’t have spent the last 20+ years of my life trying to have one in my life.

That’s great to read because it means you’re already ahead of many of the men who find their way here. Many of us, sadly, need to let go of our hate before we can begin reaping the benefits of MGTOW.

A word regarding letting you ex “slide” with regards to child support payments. That was a mistake and you need to rectify it before she makes another run at gaining custody.

First, getting her documented as a deadbeat parent can only help your case. Tell the state you’re thinking ahead to college and the lump sum she owes will be a good start in the state’s college investment plan. Every state has one of these now, you put aside tax free money which is not only good for in-state tuition but can pay for tuition at a savings.

Second, while women rarely pay child support, the little darlings default on their payments at a rate far higher than men. It will be good to add her to the statistics.

Good luck and kick her ass before she can kick yours.

Thanks for the advice OldBill.
I’ve been meaning to reply earlier, but been out and about for Saturday afternoon, some family obligations to take care of.

You are absolutely right, I admit I have been pretty weak not pursuing the child support.
At the time, I just wanted to be seen as “trying to keep the peace”, but it does mean I have been providing less than I can, and there is less for the future. As for helping keep peace, that didn’t work either!
I will definitely be pursuing this ASAP – seeking arrears payments is possible at this stage, too.

[AttonParticipant]

Welcome to the site.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[OldBillParticipant]

Dark Ninja Dave wrote:

At the time, I just wanted to be seen as “trying to keep the peace”…

If the roles had been reversed, if you had owed her child support, would she have been more interested in keeping the peace than getting the money?

They insist they’re equal. Treat them as such.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[Author]

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