I’m looking forward to when my dad dies.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

There I said it.

I have no love or respect for the man. From birth he has been my tormenter and greatest critic. I have tried to speak to him many times but he is an old dog that will never change.

I see an insecure man who despises everything I’ve accomplished but moreover a man who when he didn’t understand something or felt threatened hit it, and quite often it was me. He use to belt the s~~~ outta me.

Now at 40 he still treats me as a wet behind the ears kid who has never done anything. But yet I pay and accomodate ALL his and my mums medical expenses.

I know it sounds cruel, mean and disgusting but I cannot wait til this monster leaves my life. He has done untold damage and I will never forgive him.

He pysically abuses me and my sisters, and had an affair on my mum after she lost a son. His reason “oh his sexual needs weren’t met.” Yet my mum had a son who just died. He is the biggest blue piller and would throw any of his family under a bus just to be liked ans accepted. He is a true monster who did/does so many horrible things ans now plays the helpless innocent old man when called on it. Ans society buys this s~~~.

My apologies for the rant but the day this c~~~ dies I will celebrate.

[EekParticipant 1162]

Sometimes the best example others provide for us is what NOT to do.

[Anonymous 11]

Sorry about your Dad being like that, man. He sounds like a selfish pig.

Sexual needs not being met is one of the lamest excuses people use to get out of responsibility.

[BurgundyParticipant 1525]

Question, why do you pay his medical bill? F~~~ him.

If he plays the shaming game, then tell him out right, he didn’t do anything worthwhile for you, as a child, and now that you both are grown, he can fend for himself, as you probably had to.

[Anonymous 42]

DeepInThought wrote:

He has done untold damage and I will never forgive him.

Hey deepinthought, you gotta let that go, hatred is the chopper blades that destroy us from the inside out!

Between you and I, you’re a top notch dude!
I also help take care of my elderly parents wherever or whenever I can.
Look at him like any other misguided narcissist, it’s his problem, don’t make it yours! Keep all contact to a minimum, especially arguments!
You’ll best serve yourself to mentally dispose of him as a lost cause, rise above his immorality, break the mold, become a better person, you be the man, recognize the role reversal, he’s always gonna be the child… Acceptance of these truths are the path to real healing, turn off the heart chopper… Abuse and the mental damage that occurs is not incurable, you only need to re-frame your mind, put things in their actual place, don’t strife over where things are supposed to be! Then, and only then, peace will ensue…

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

i experienced similar things in my childhood but less severe.

i recommend stop paying his medical bills. Force him to pay for himself. Who cares if he goes in debt.

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[PhiloParticipant 84]

You are angry and understandably so but understand that his passing is not going to heal the scars that he leaves you with. It will ultimately be up to you to reconcile your relationship with your father and there is no reason to wait until he dies to start the journey of self healing in that regard.

I think you know that he is not likely to be part of your healing process at this point and this may be yet another way that you will be compelled to go your own way in order to get where you need to be in regard to your father.

And if you need to rant and get it off your chest, we are here for you!

This above all: to thine own self be true - William Shakespeare

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Hey DIT – thanks for letting this one rip. I thought i was the only MGTOW with a rough childhood. Getting this s~~~ out is important, so +1 for you.

The brothers here have some good thoughts & recommendations. It may be worth considering going “No Contact” with him – i did with several members of my immediate family that didn’t deserve to be in my life. It definitely gave me the space/time to get better.

One more thought:

Anonymous wrote:

hatred is the chopper blades that destroy us from the inside out!

I agree in principle, but letting that go is a process. For me at least, it’s taken a couple years, and i’m still not though that phase yet. Regardless, i’m looking for progress, not perfection: a today that’s better than yesterday, not necessarily a silver bullet.

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10911]

I’m sorry about your pain sir. My father was similar. I am the oldest son so more was expected out of me. I was beat as well. NOTHING I did was ever good enough. He was always critical of my decisions especially if they didn’t match how HE would handle it. If you were to ask my father out me, he would tell you that I was a failure. My father was a son of a bitch towards me my whole life. When he did pass almost 8 years ago, I was sad but mainly because everyone around me was sad. To pacify my mother I went to see his grave shortly thereafter. Since then, I have yet to return to that bastards grave.
I can relate brother.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[JackinovParticipant 5229]

My father was the exact same way you describe. He had some form of heart attack, and as EMS performed CPR as he lay on the floor, when they finally stopped and reluctantly shook their heads, a feeling of true joy, the only real happiness I’ve felt since I was born, was had.

Life has been much better since then. His death was all I imagined it to be. My life opened up, and I was now able to seize many more opportunities. My health improved so much. I thank God every day he finally was removed from this realm.

are you a chia pet in man drag

[Silverstone the SecondParticipant]

Usually goes that way. For a while I had contempt for my mother, as my dad died 5 years ago. Anymore, time heals all wounds, man. Don’t even think about that bitch. If you can put both space and time between you, that allays some of the problem. I know it has for me.

Feminism is a movement where opinions are presented as facts and emotions are presented as evidence.

[Anonymous 3]

You have to remember that previous generation of fathers is what unleashed gynocracy on the world. They should have stopped it, but they all hated their sons. It seems almost like a requirement that the previous generation of fathers was all blue pill to the max.

[Mastah JediParticipant 53]

Hi there!
I assume you wanted input, otherwise why post something so private?

World is full of people who cant die fast enough. But parents are a special category. You don’t get to choose them. Its a challenge, unique to each of us. How you rise to the challenge is what is important.

My father built the very bombs what may one day end humanity. A physicist working in a “closed” city in USSR. Also a veteran of the Soviet Afgan campaign, decorated. Then the USSR collapsed, this model father and a husband, unable to accept the humiliation of USSR collapse, turned to alcohol and domestic violence. He ruined my and my mothers life, as well as his own. In his grief and humiliation for the Empire he served all his life, he drunk him self to near death. Eventually to save the family the embarrassment, my relative, general of logistics for the Northern Fleet, ordered his assassination, in downtown Moscow. Just a few blocks from the Kremlin, near the bridge….

I was glad he did at a time. I now regret his action. I still understand why it was necessary, and do not blame him. But i regret it.

There is nothing worse then regret.
Try to understand him, while he still with u.

He may have deeper reasons for his actions, just as my dad had…

Edit: Worth adding, those events influenced the restnof my life profoundly. I and my mother eventually left the Russian Federation. I left about a week after Putin came to power. I now live in USA, and im an American. I live in one of the most fascinating countries on Earth. All those events where influenced in large part by alcoholism and domestic abuse my father imposed on us, in my childhood. What im trying to say, even if ur or my father where not particularly great parents, he had significant influence on who i had became. So may have urs.

PS: please do not quote or repost this. I plan to delete this post after 24hrs. Its a very private story. I just wanted to share momentarily with the author of the thread; Perhaps my story reflects some of urs, and may give u something to reconsider.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

I am glad you felt comfortable in sharing with us. I’m glad we are here to help.

I share your feelings but for different reasons.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[RealityBitesParticipant 2198]

We don’t get to choose our parents, where we are born, what race we are, etc.
All parents have flaws, some have larger flaws than others (ditto for kids).
If you feel like your parents are not treating you with respect, then by all means: stop paying their bills.
Tell them what you think about their behavior towards you.
Just lay it out on the line.

However I would leave the cheating thing alone, there is 2 sides to every story, and for all you know your Dad might have been trapped in marriage with virtually no sex for years. Maybe your mom cheated on your Dad at one point.
My point is: everyone has needs including your Dad, and in a marriage if one person is clearly not fulfilling the needs of their spouse, like sex, then I don’t think “cheating” is unreasonable.

[experiencedParticipant]

Your topic brings up old pain from the pasts of many.
Mental pain that presently manifests itself into physical.
We are truly sorry that you had to live that reality.
But just as there is no pain without physical therapy, we all heal better with it.
Thank you for sharing in a way that truly took b~~~~, we are all better for it.

“There’s a saying, an old saying” ‘and I’ll be the first to nail the lid’

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Zuberi TauParticipant 10606]

If your dad is that much of a petty tyrant, then you should give him an ultimatum.

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Hey Deep, F~~~ man, I hear that………mine was a piece of work as well. He was a male version of Mommy Dearest. I would like to share details, but for various reasons, I would rather not.

However, I can say this much. I spent years being filled with a seething rage & hatred for what he put me and the family through. I spent almost 20 years or so, having it consume me. He had so much “power” over my mindset, how I thought, my decision making, etc.

Even that made me resent and despise him all the more, on top of the s~~~ he pulled. It was a looooooong asssssss road, but I decided I didn’t want him having that kind of affect on me.

Anonymous wrote:

Hey deepinthought, you gotta let that go, hatred is the chopper blades that destroy us from the inside out!

Along with everything else…I had to let it all go for my own sanity & peace of mind. My father even took my sister’s virginity when she was about 11 yrs old. I know how f~~~ing hard it is.

It was a “tall” order I put on myself….but I had to, it was destroying me more & more with each passing year I spent living in a rage.

Really sorry to hear it man, I think you are a cool ass dude.

[Anonymous 5]

For chances pass to build a broken brige the chance will arise to avoid the work. To try and find a new river. For to mend a broken brige is a unforgiving task.. I am sorry to hear that man but am with you and your choice. Some things you can never forget not cause you feel your inclined to love the one that created you, but because like all humans they grow up and can make decisions for themselves. If that choice screams from within then its not a “choice” anymore it’s fate. Just remeber you were “educated” to love your family. To over come that – To decide the worth of something in your life then to cast it out. That takes b~~~~ and takes will. I belive from what I am reading your in the right.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

I would cut him loose and sever the relationship. I’m sure things are more complicated than that because of your mother and sisters but that’s what I have done with my mother, despite my brothers and sisters. If you can’t do that, try not to hate and be angry. That’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die (Ghandi?). Or, beat the holy living s~~~ out of him.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[Author]

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