I tripped across MGTOW on reddit recently. Didn’t even know it was a thing, but the discovery was incredible: it was like seeing my life philosophy right in front of me. I’m not a true red-pill case, I don’t think, but my one and only experience with anything resembling a relationship really just re-enforced my thoughts on women.
I grew up surrounded by dysfunctional relationships. Most glaringly was that of my parents who divorced when I was young, got back together 10 years later and eventually split again. In that 10 years apart my mother had a child with another man who was abusive (ended with a restraining order). And would you believe, this man was the one who ended up driving a wedge between my parents 8 years later. And now, my mother is back for round two with the abusive guy.
I grew up with all the makings of a “forever alone” type. Short, thick (overweight in my youth), not much to look at all topped off with an introverted personality. Add to that mix a mother and sister who I would be tempted to call bi-polar if I wasn’t fully aware that they are just doing what comes naturally to females. Seeing the way life has totally degraded for my father has really been disturbing. I don’t think I need to say that relationships were not even on my radar, ever.
I was a homeowner at 19, mainly because my mom wanted me out of the house asap after I graduated high school. Couldn’t even start to guess why, she just did. She apologized years later, couldn’t come up with any rational reason for trying to make my life hell and went as far as saying I was the only one of her four kids that wasn’t a pain to raise. I was really busy in my 20’s. Focused, driven. Worked my ass off in the oilfield, wanted to be debt free quick and enjoy life. And in the mix, I got in shape. My schedule didn’t allow for much else in terms of recreation, so the gym was my outlet. And go figure, women started paying attention to me. Fortunately they seemed to get the point that I was totally not interested. And then eventually I got tired of the oilfield rat race and moved home, which led to the closest I’ve come to a red-pill situation.
Girl down the street wants to hang out. Despite our brothers being really good friends I didn’t really know her growing up as she’s five years older than I. But I relented. We hung out a bit, went fishing, walked our dogs together, went to football games. And true to their nature, she was always on a fishing expedition of her own. Pushed me to understand where I am in life, what my philosophies and goals are. The usual. I didn’t bulls~~~ her at all. I’m single because I want to be. Marriage is a stupid waste of money. No interest in drama. I have no interest or desire in making time for somebody as I’m very wrapped up in my hobbies. But of course, she was still fishing. And then I made a mistake. One night after watching a movie she wants to hop in the sack, and I relented. I was thinking “friends with benefits, sure, why not?”, and in retrospect she thought she was sealing the deal. Well, s~~~.
The next day I got a text. “So now what?”. I played dumb, rather nonchalant. She eventually said “I don’t sleep with just friends”. That whole conversation ended in person and she was still pushing. Didn’t have to be like full on dating, but she just wanted to be close, or whatever. Kind of came off to me as exclusive friends with benefits. I should have just ended it there, but I decided to just play the perimeter so to speak. And then red flags started showing up. Didn’t want me wearing condoms because she found them “uncomfortable”. She has a medical condition which she says reduces her chance of pregnancy to practically zero. Well, a cousin of mine was trapped into a relationship by an intentional “oops”, and I wasn’t about to go down that path. She’d hold grudges against people for the stupidest things. Finding or creating drama where there shouldn’t be any. She’d make plans and then be 15 to 45 minutes late or flake all together. Get mad when I wouldn’t go out of my way to hang out or talk. Be p~~~ed off that I’d never include her in my fishing plans (when it wasn’t even possible). And then she really finished it off. I spent my 5 days off from work helping my dad build a garage, stuck doing all the heavy lifting and working 12-14 hour days. At the end of that week she texts and says “no time to hang out with me on your days off?”, to which I replied “way too busy and played out”. She says “WRONG ANSWER!”, which in a sense was exactly what I needed to hear. She was getting too close and her expectations too lofty. Sure as hell wasn’t friends with benefits. So I just became distant. One or two word responses to texts. Always too busy to hang out. And the timing was perfect…. 2 week fall fishing trip, and then hockey started up. She moved on, or at least got the point, I thought. A year ago she started pestering me again, but I’ve played it safe. Really, trying to avoid somebody who lives half a block away is beyond difficult, so hanging out occasionally or walking our dogs together is probably a simple compromise. I know she was still hoping there’d be something there, she’s even talked to my mom about how frustrated she is that I won’t date her. I actually think it is hilarious. And it’s going to stay that way.
StandUpGuy 3 years, 4 months ago.
