I'm getting in to it, what do i tell my family?

[BigTL13Participant 89]

So, I may be coming into the movement, simply put, I’m interested because despite my every effort, I never really had success when I asked girls out, and those who said “yes”, never led to a relationship that lasted more than two months. I got sick of the rejection, and have used my philosophy of, “If it’s hurting me to the point I can’t bear it, then why the f~~~ am I going back for more?”. The problem is, My mother is a traditionalist, and I don’t really know how to go about telling her I’m not interested in the traditional lifestyle, that will cause her the least pain possible. We’ve been real close, and I feel like I would be breaking her heart if I went into MGTOW, so, if I get into this, how do I break the news to Her?

Get the Fuck Up, Brush yourself off, and stand against the current

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

It’s really best not to tell her anything you will just get lash back. One of my aunt tells me she tried to set me up with women and none of them wanted me. She was trying to upset me but I didn’t care. Then she tried to get me jealous by telling me that my cousin is dating a married woman in China. The weird thing is my cousin’s parents condone this relationship. I am not even jealous but I see my family is nuts. Since when it is acceptable to date a married woman.

Let her come to her own conclusion otherwise she will probably get hostile. Truly traditional women are less than 1% of the population and this is a fact not something I made up like feminists does.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Hi. Welcome.

BigTL13 wrote:

despite my every effort, I never really had success when I asked girls out

So don’t “ask”.

The first rule of sales: give someone a chance to say “no” and they usually WILL.

So don’t ask. Remove the question mark . TELL her she should join you. That is… if you’re still interested in trying something different.

• “Would you like to go out with me?”
• “Would you like to see a movie some time?”
• “Would you like to go for a drink?”

When you leave the answer up to HER, she is 100X more likely to say “no”. It’s almost a guarantee.

Now try this:

• “Im going out tonight.. you should join”.
• “I’m going to see a movie tonight… join me.”
• “im grabbing a drink after work…. meet me at 8PM”

Now your good time will never depend join her “yes” or “no”. Girls want you to ask them for permission to prop up their egos. But that doesn’t mean you should do it. When she says she can’t , or she has to go home and wash her cat, just shrug your shoulders like “OK whatever. Your loss.”. You’re going to a movie with or without her. See the difference? It communicates something very different. It means you don’t need her approval for anything. It’s a small difference, but it makes a big difference.

I’m not telling you to pursue women if you don’t want to.
Just telling you: if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re gonna keep getting what you always got.

I don’t like seeing guys feeling bad about “rejection”. What’s she rejecting? Attention? An offer to be kind? You taking her to see a movie? A proposal? A date? A dinner? A free drink? A marriage? When a girl “rejects” that stuff, it’s not YOUR problem. It’s hers. She didn’t offer you anything yet. You lose nothing. She loses. She doesn’t MEAN anything to you. Therefore her “rejection” can’t mean anything to you, either. Certainly not a loss.

The problem is, My mother is a traditionalist, and I don’t really know how to go about telling her I’m not interested in the traditional lifestyle, that will cause her the least pain possible.

Don’t even think about it. Don’t even let it matter. Your mother is a traditionalist. So what. That worked for her. You are not she. You have any idea how awesome and free you are when you don’t have to explain yourself? It’s unbelievably liberating. MGTOW is very much best internalized. You don’t actually have to share it. Its a secret you can know yourself. You don’t have to explain any of it. As far as she’s concerned, if you don’t want to “hurt her feelings”, then don’t. Let her think you’re still “looking for the right girl”. Just haven’t met her yet.

If you TELL her, you’re gonna get the same s~~~ you’ll get from anyone else: “Not all woman are like that!!!!”
I don’t know why you would ever want to deal with that.

And if you think she will object, then she’s not interested in YOUR best interests.
That’s what MGTOW is all about. YOUR best interests.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

I’m lucky one of my aunts told me I should not marry because she saw how women were. She did mention women being very materialistic and offered no to little value in marriage. Indirectly she told me it’s ok to go my own way. I didn’t bring it up my uncle did. With my other aunt it was painful. I just don’t even bother talking to her anymore. I tried to keep her some of the red pill, all she did was try to shame me and get jealous it’s not even worth. With other men it’s probably ok but never bring up discussion about MGTOW because you will usually get to deal with all the bs and drama that comes to communicating with women. The less I communicate with women the happier I become. Not because I hate women, it’s because women create problems and stress that I don’t want to deal with.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[AFTParticipant 2726]

Welcome, and consider your 

BigTL13 wrote:

never led to a relationship that lasted more than two months

as an amazing success.  You need to see that “success”and LTR are mutually exclusive, what is so successful about having a LTR?  In other words what benefits are there of a LTR, compared to the cost?

As for explaining yourself,

 

When the war cemeteries are half full of the corpses of dead conscripted women, only then will women have earned the right to speak of equality. Sidecar “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.” - Bob Dylan

[chirParticipant]

Sometimes you have to know how to handle blue-pillers without getting in their face because they are family.   Odds are if you were brought up with ethics you want to “do no harm” as you go your own way.

When I was younger I simply told them I wanted to get established in my career and make money before I looked for a long term relationship.  I wanted to be able to provide for a family.   This hit the key words career, money, long term relationship, provide, and the biggie “family”.   Visions of little grandchildren danced in their heads.  Made them happy.  Lie?  Of course.  But it was something they could live with.   That will get you into your mid thirty’s.

 

 

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Welcome! I can’t think of anything to add that is better than the previous posts. Over the years, I built up a collection of stock quips to unleash on nosy relatives: “Miss Right dumped me and ran off with an unemployed musician.” Etc.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[SnakeSpectator 2080]

Distance yourself from all women, your mother included. AWALT. It’s a waste of time explaining anything to them, like talking about calculus to a child.

[kizellParticipant 368]

You must remember that your mother also is a woman.  She loves you and wants what’s best for you, but that does not mean she incapable of holding back her selfish wants.

[narwhalParticipant]

You are not capable of hurting your mother’s feelings, particularly when telling her the truth..  She owns her feelings, not you.    The same goes for the supposed rejections.  You own those feelings, and you control your reactions to them.  I agree with keymaster regarding how to approach spend time with women, but even if she says no, it’s not a reflection on you, it’s on her.   She could have other plans, have a bf she doesn’t want to say, have some weird hangup, just be too scared, or too stuckup, or whatever.    She could be psycho and you just dodged a bullet.  Regardless, not your problem.  Just concentrate on you and what’s important to you.

And honestly, 2 months of relationships seems about right to me.  I usually go two weeks to 6 months…the one exception was my ex wife.

Ok. Then do it.

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

I suggest you strengthen your own way, and be able to articulate it.  Parents have some wisdom there, which you can get, and need to sort out.  You really need to strengthen your own way.  And then, when your mother wants you to have someone, you can say you hadn’t found anyone who matches your high standards.  If she is that insistent on you having someone, your strong list of demands is something your mom wants to meet.  You can tell her you aren’t going to want to settler.

The key part here is strengthening yourself, and not settling.  Have positive reasons for doing things, rather than fearing rejection, or avoiding pain.  This goes going MGTOW or something else.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

chir wrote:

Sometimes you have to know how to handle blue-pillers without getting in their face because they are family. Odds are if you were brought up with ethics you want to “do no harm” as you go your own way. When I was younger I simply told them I wanted to get established in my career and make money before I looked for a long term relationship. I wanted to be able to provide for a family. This hit the key words career, money, long term relationship, provide, and the biggie “family”. Visions of little grandchildren danced in their heads. Made them happy. Lie? Of course. But it was something they could live with. That will get you into your mid thirty’s.

You didn’t specify what acceptable job you would have, and the amount of money to them.  So, you can keep thinking it isn’t enough and let them know.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[SmarchitectParticipant 28]

Crazy Canuck wrote:

It’s really best not to tell her anything you will just get lash back. …

The best response from the jump. Once you’re going your own way, you inherit a wisdom that can’t shouldn’t be shared with everyone.

[Author]

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