I'm Afraid of Marriage

[Anonymous 6]

Why Don’t You Get Married??

The usual answer is “Because I don’t want to get assraped in the inevitable divorce”

But I’m afraid of the bit before that.

I’m afraid that our wedding will be all about you and my role will consist of “Shut up. Pay up. Get yelled at.”

I’m afraid that after you’ve had your dream wedding and you find yourself having to deal with day to day reality, it will end up being my fault that you’re not living happily ever after.

I’m afraid that I will gradually stop being the guy you love and want to spend the rest of your life with and turn into the room-mate you can barely stand but you keep me around for the heavy lifting and paying for everything.

I’m afraid that you will take marriage advice from your mother and her friends, all of whom will tell you that being nice to your husband is f~~~ing stupid and you shouldn’t bother. I’m afraid that you’ll not wonder why your father is so miserable…

I’m afraid that you will “accidentally” slip up on birth control and I’ll end up with children whether I like it or not. ..But when you’re the size of a house and fed up, I’ll be “the bastard that did this to you.”

I’m afraid that the first words my daughter learns will be “Isn’t daddy stupid?”

I’m afraid that you’ll yell at me for not doing enough with the kids – but every time I try, you show up to tell me that I’m doing it wrong and “why are you so useless?”

I’m afraid that once you’ve got the children you wanted, your libido will fall off the edge of a cliff.

I’m afraid that sex will stop being a special moment between us and become something you use to keep me in line, only deployed when I’ve been a good dog.

I’m afraid that our home will fill up with your family and your friends, all of whom will treat me like I don’t deserve to be there.
I’m afraid our relationship will consist of me trying to keep you from yelling at me.

I’m afraid that I’ll be continually expected to support you and care for you and prove how committed I am – and in return I’ll get drama, nagging and continual reminders that I’m useless.

I’m afraid that you’ll spend the entire marriage telling me that my opinion is worthless and then bitch when I don’t immediately come up with an answer to whatever drama you’re moaning about.

I’m afraid that any display of insecurity or feeling down will be met with a terse “Oh man up” and subsequently used to beat me over the head for not being a real man.

I’m afraid that every time I’m sick your way of proving how much you care is to make snide comments about man-flu and bitch because I’m lying around doing nothing.

I’m afraid that any time I get time to myself, you’ll be right there with a honey-do list or some little job that needs doing right now, just to make sure I never get chance to relax.

I’m afraid that no matter what I do, there’s always something else that’s making you p~~~ed off.

I’m afraid that I’ll gradually end up losing my hobbies, interests, opinions, friends and as many of my possessions as you can throw away when my back is turned. And you’ll then bitch at me for being “Boring”

I’m afraid that I’ll wake up one day and realize that I’m paying for a house that isn’t my home, full of s~~~ that somebody else wanted, kids that are being raised to treat me with contempt and a life that consists of “work. eat. sleep.” Correction. “Work. Eat. Get yelled at. Sleep.”

And of course there’s always the possibility that after I’ve tried to give you everything you wanted, you’ll decide one day that my services are no longer required and I’ll find myself in a bedsit, p~~~-poor and wondering what happened.

[HitmanParticipant]

Venom, that isn’t fear..
it’s your common sense!!!
the entire list is not a “maybe”
it’s a “FOR SURE ” !
.
marriage is an antiquated institution.
no longer needed.
it’s a tool to enslave MEN.
.
please WHATEVER you do,
NEVER GET MARRIED !

[Anonymous 6]

Hitman wrote:

Venom, that isn’t fear..
it’s your common sense!!!
the entire list is not a “maybe”
it’s a “FOR SURE ” !
.
marriage is an antiquated institution.
no longer needed.
it’s a tool to enslave MEN.
.
please WHATEVER you do,
NEVER GET MARRIED !

I feel ya Hitman, I was just thinking about this topic today. Maybe if the situation was different and the marriage was conducted in a way that was more favorable to men, I wouldn’t mind so much. But I can’t, in good conscience, make a decision that would impact me the rest of my life in a negative manner.

The divorce rate in this country is almost 60%!! And that’s not including the people who are married but can’t afford the lawyers, and it doesn’t include the people who are married and are waiting before the kids get out of the house or get to a certain age before they get divorced. When all of this is taken into consideration, that divorce rate rises exponentially.

Again, if things were different and an ideal situation could be had, I could revisit the idea of marriage, but I cannot do that now. Marriage is just not in my future. Hell i’m 24, about the graduate with a Masters degree. I make it to 30 with no kids, a career and single, i’m a made man. Divorce just scares the s~~~ out of me tho, I know I’ve talked about asset protection before marriage, but the thought of a judge not honoring arrangements made before a marriage would keep me up at night.

[WA4SWJParticipant 366]

Amen brother!

Ed

[No Ma’amParticipant 212]

Holy s~~~! Every one of those reasons, I experienced in my first and/or second marriage. You nailed it brother.

"Nobody loves me, but my mother, And she could be jivin` too." - B. B. King

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

I’m not afraid. I’m MGTOW because it is now my lifestyle. It’s how I live and conduct my life. I refer to myself as a confirmed bachelor to others. I am not effected by the the pressures of woman or society. I live all by myself. I love my solitude. A bottle of 18 year old scotch sitting by my PC chatting with you great men is heaven. Gentlemen I strongly advise you to:
1. Love your own company
2. Educate yourself for earning power
3. Invest and save
4. DON’T GIVE A F~~~ING DIME TO A WOMAN

Forget about the bitches and think about you!!!!

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[Anonymous 8]

To the OP I like your list. Those are great points. Here is ONE of the major points that keeps me away from relationships with ANY woman. Here goes:

I’m afraid, no I KNOW, whatever I do that she doesn’t like in any small way she won’t say anything about when it happens. No she’ll wait some time, months if not years even. And then it gets brought up and held against me. It doesn’t matter if I had a legit excuse or not, it won’t matter if I meant no harm. Nothing I would say or do would get here to let go of the matter.

But let me do that to her. I’d be a complete monster. I’d be someone who doesn’t respect her for the complicated and flawed person that she is.

MGTOW folks. Yeah, I’m glad to be here!

[ApexScorpionParticipant 602]

I feel the same way. A change in the laws can’t really change any of these things. It’s embedded in a woman to do, and you and everyone else here knows it. We’ve seen it too many times.

Be glad you have this perception. It’s almost like its clairvoyance. Yes it can be scary and painful, but you absolutely need this. Never forget what you typed here.

Ever.

[bladeParticipant]

F~~~ slavery . No f~~~ing way will i ever fall for that sweet pleasant demeanor . Men die on the plantation and i ain’t f~~~ing joking .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[TicParticipant 4329]

As Hitman, said, it’s not fear.

It’s logic. It’s formulating a set of ideas based on current and past evidence. It’s self preservation. It’s protecting one’s physical and mental livelihood in the face of insurmountable odds of unhappiness. It’s saying no to the vultures that have no common sense, decency or honor. F~~~ them and f~~~ marriage.

God bless peace and freedom.

[SolidusXParticipant 854]

Every single one of those points should be taught to every male at the age of 13, right before they get the itch to f~~~ c~~~.

Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit

[foghornleghornParticipant 3449]

Marriage is not an option for me anymore. So in that light how can I be afraid of something that isn’t even something that I ever consider doing, ever? I mean I don’t care if her vagina is as sparkling as the morning sun or that every time she takes off her panties the heavenly choir sings or that she has the sexual appetite of a nympho and her only interest in life is to cook, do laundry and f~~~ my brains out. If you want a ring on your finger, do that for 30 years and then we will talk.

[narwhalParticipant]

I’m going to join in on the “it’s not fear”. Calling it a fear implies one of two things. Fear keeps you from doing something you actually want to do, but are afraid of the risks. It’s fear that keeps me from getting a motorcycle. I want one, but am afraid of getting in an accident.

The other is that you actually have an irrational emotional reaction to something. Like a fear of heights, or spiders. Someone who fears spiders will jump on a chair, as if a small common spider could harm them. I’m not afraid of spiders, so I mostly ignore them. That does not mean that idly play with spiders or put myself in unnecessary risks.

Since people generally don’t have irrational emotional reaction to marriage, ‘fear’ would then imply that you see a positive in marriage, but are considered about the risks.

And this is what women assume about MGTOW. They cannot fathom that they simply are not wanted. They assume we are afraid of rejection. Afraid of commitment. Afraid of being responsible. Afraid that we won’t live up to their expectations.

I am not afraid of these things. Not at all. I have dealt with all of these things before. It her that I don’t want.

Ok. Then do it.

[Oldsmobileman73Participant 11]

Be afraid…Be very afraid…! All of your “fears,” or rather, astute observations are valid.Marriage will only work if you… Agree, NOT to disagree, your always wrong, and everything is your fault. The only preferable physical attribute required is a flexible spine, better yet, sans spine.

"Women are cosidered deep-why? Because one can never discover any bottom to them. Women are not even shallow.

[Author]

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