Hi my name is Neil and I am currently 42 years old living the MGTOW lifestyle. I have been lurking here for about a month now and decided I would finally post something about myself to help my fellow brothers out. Hopefully I can help a young MGTOW on what they can expect if they decide to be with someone like this girl I dated on and off for 7 years. It will be a long story but worth the read I hope.
In my youth I was one of the biggest blue pill mangina you could find out there. I was always putting the needs of my girlfriend first before myself and family for the longest time (about 5 years) but unfortunately it took me another 2 years to finally fully get rid of this parasite of a female. We met during highs school in the last year before going to University. During high school I was a beta male until I started to lift weights and become more assertive and forward until finally I became a alpha male in disguise. I wanted to find love, and starting seeing this girl who in retrospect I should have seen the first red flag from the start.
The day I asked her out on a date she said she was still waiting to hear back from another guy that she asked out a day earlier. I was crushed because in my eyes she was a 10 (even though most would probably call her an 8) and she was constantly giving me the message that she wanted to be with me. I waited for 2 days before she finally said she was willing to go out on a date with me after the other guy rejected her advances (I was surprised because she was hot yet he probably saw something that I didn’t in her at the time). We dated for six months without intercourse (we did oral mainly) before she finally decided she wanted to try it. We were both virgins (but who knows with her) and I was scared I would screw things up. Back in the mid 90’s there was no hardcore porn sites that you could learn from you just had to go by what the magazines like Club, Hustler and Playboy showed and it was tame in comparison to what you see today.
The day we did it was not fun at all for the both of us she kept saying stupid s~~~ during sex like she wasn’t really feeling anything etc. I wore a condom but didn’t even end up cuming because she just laid there like a sack of potatoes. The next morning she felt guilty after and gave me a BJ to make up for it . I did all the romantic s~~~ to get her in the mood and even got a hotel room as we were still living with our parents at the time.
After that for some reason things started to get good and we had sex on a regular basis. I guess I brought out the slut in her because during this time I had a large circle of female friends and even her female friends were attracted to me and she would see this. I had one girl chasing me every day for sex in school it got to the point I would run away from her only for her to chase me into a men’s bathroom and proceed to put her hands in my front pockets to play pocket pool. I got out of there fast and s~~~ like this would be constant with this bitch. She would steal my wallet out of my pocket and I would have to chase her into the girls washroom only to have her put the wallet you know where. My girlfriend at the time knew about this bitch and would always start fights with her but it would never end. Even my girlfriends own friends were trying to get with me behind her back and one was a solid 10 blonde hair big breasted blue eyed Polish chick but I said nothing and did nothing because I was a faithful mangina.
Eventually after about a year she would start breaking up with me for a few months, ride the c~~~ carousel and then ask me back and I would take her back. She tried to go after the guy that rejected her earlier and she probably succeeded and banging him eventually. Her own friends would try to hook up with me during this time when we were apart and I still wouldn’t do anything with them. They were smoking hot that was one of my biggest regrets not banging them but in hindsight I now know I was just protecting myself from what probably would have been even worse problems for me. This went on and off for 5 years until one day my girlfriend asks me to bang her without a condom (she never used birth control and I always used a condom). So I started to bang her without a condom but pulling out and she would get upset at me. She had a older sister who was starting to hit 30 and she could see she was hitting the wall soon so she knew at 25 she wanted to get me to commit to her. One day I was going at her in the missionary position and she wanted me to cum inside her and I said no and she started to cry right in the middle of me about to cum. So as I am about to pull out she tries to wrap her legs around me and push me further inside her I was so p~~~ed I was lucky to pull out in time. Man did I dodge a bullet.
I just got out of bed and went into the washroom in a rage I couldn’t believe she would try to do that. After I got out I confronted her and she just pretended like nothing happened. S~~~ like this would always happen. She went to Turkey on vacation for 2 months when she got back she showed me pictures of her and this guy hugging intimately and I asked her who that was and she said “it was just a friend she met while there”. Deep down I knew otherwise but let it go because I was so blue pill I couldn’t think with anything but my dick. When I saw her a few days later she would show me the pictures again this time without that guy in any of them and I would ask her where are the pictures of that guy from 2 days ago and she would say “what guy?” Like I was some f~~~ing stupid idiot she thought I was making him up lol. Little things like this made me finally realize I would never marry her but I STILL would be with her even when we would break up I only thought of her while she would ride the c~~~ carousel. It really is a sickness it was so bad I would not even cheat on her even though I had so many opportunities to do so I was in a sad pathetic state.
She went to Turkey a few more times in the coming years and I knew she was probably going to see that guy in the pictures and she even talked about living there so I decided enough was enough the next time she was going I would break up with her. On the night she asked me out before she would go to Turkey (we were both single at the time) she kept talking about how one of her “friends” was banging this Italian guy and how he was so big that it hurt her “friends” pussy when she had sex but that her “friend” was getting used to it. She also told me she would never do anal while we were together, but guess what she finally did with some other guy! The rage I felt inside when she told me was unreal. I knew I was going to never see her again but she wanted to have sex with me. So when I asked her if we could do anal before she left for Turkey she was like “Na I can’t I have hemorrhoids down there” lol.
F~~~ing hell I put up with this bitch for 7 years and she couldn’t even give me that in the end. You have to understand I did everything for this girl, constant s~~~ tests to pass, we went to university together but she was studying sociology while I was majoring in Economics and taking French classes to learn a third language. She would ask me to do her University essays even though I never took any of her classes and would get A’s for her. It wasn’t enough that I was constantly spending money and working a job while going to university to support both myself and her lifestyle sound familiar? At any rate I dumped her and realized I would never date or marry a woman again and this was when I turned 28.
My friends would ask me to go out to clubs and bars with them and since I was the one with the car I would always be the designated driver. They would be out hitting on girls, and when I tried to hit on one only for sex one of my friends would try to get her before I could close and c~~~ block me. These guys would always think I was gay without saying anything when I finally stopped asking girls out. Instead of being men they would play games with me. Like this one guy was like “I like to drink Bailey’s Irish cream it goes down smooth like cum in my throat” to see how I would respond to s~~~ like that. Another one was when he would say he had sex with his girlfriend and he got p~~~ed his dick was kind of bent so he would put it between a drawer and slam it hard to try to make it straight implying that dicks should be straight and not bent (as in gay). Of course I would say WTF but he acted like a f~~~ing female s~~~ testing me to see if I was gay lol with friends like that who needs enemies.
I never knew about MGTOW I just did my own thing and my friends (both male and female) would never understand me I felt so alienated and they made me out to be some kind of gay guy because I would be avoiding girls all the time. I finally said enough was enough and did the best thing I could ever do. While the ex girlfriend was in Turkey I moved to another city, changed my phone number, and cut all ties with everyone I knew. It was the most liberating experience of my life. I was not married, no children, and I started to live the MGTOW way. But would the peace last? Nope.
Of course my mother would always ask when I would have kids or when I would get married and it was constant especially as I got into my early 30’s. She did the same to my brother and he decided to listen to her and got with his current girlfriend and finally gave my mother her grandson . He is living with a woman who is still married to another guy but has been separated for the last 5 years. My brother and his girlfriend are considered in a common law relationship (meaning they are like married couple even though it is not a legal contract marriage) here in Canada. How the hell is that even possible the laws need to be changed if you are married to someone else but get knocked up to a new guy and live with him for more than one year you are considered married wtf is that bulls~~~. My brother even bought her a 4 thousand dollar engagement ring and asked to marry her and I said to him I don’t see how that is going to happen since she still will not divorce her current husband. He is in blue pill hell and doesn’t even care and I can’t help him even though I tried. Two days ago I told him about this website and he refused to listen to reason told me it was another one of my bulls~~~ things I always find on the net whatever.
A month ago I found this site and it was like a ray of sunshine on a life of depression because I have people always looking at me as if something is wrong with me when I tell them I am single with no kids at age 42. I have no friends because everyone I know is either in a relationship or married. I knew I was doing the right thing but felt like an outcast but I finally tossed my blue pill mentality and woke up and I can’t believe it took me this long. I am so happy to have finally found a place that can understand what I went through and what I am still going through. I have gone monk since 2012 and my family can’t understand it. My brother is always on me about his blue pill ways as I said I tried to tell him about this website and explain to him why I am the way I am but he just doesn’t get it. I have a lot of other experiences with other ladies I have dated and had sex with from young to older than I before finally went monk but I will save that for other posts. Hope this story helps someone out there thanks for taking the time to read this long post brothers.
Rhino 3 years, 8 months ago.
