Hello fellow MGTOW’s, and thank you for existing.
I have read through ALOT of your forumposts, and I am glad i did.
I would like to share my story so far, and what life hopefully holds for me in the future.
I apologize for my bad English beforehand.
Lets start 3 years back.
I was a single, intelligent and good-looking(7/10 – 8/10 at best) student who had just moved in to the city with my friends to study.
I had had some (very) bad relationships earlier in my life, but I have always blamed my self for the errors made. So I was ready to try again.
As I was an outgoing and nice guy, I never had trouble “hooking up”. I always had someone who wanted to come home with me if I wanted to. As I had a mentality that said I didn’t wanted to get committed at this time of my life, I didn’t really feel bad for the ones I had to throw out of my apartment.
But then, I met HER. Yes, you all know who I am talking about, the NAWALT. The one who seemed so innocent and kind at first, before she drills into your skull and messes up everything that you are and want to be. We met at university during the first week (in my country, all we do is drink and party this week). As I was fairly drunk(or high) when I first met her, I didn’t see the red flags planted in my forehead. She was the one who pushed other girls away from me, so that I would take her home instead. Drunk me thought this was kinda cute.. Yeah..
I tried to keep my distance, but it always ended up in her or some of her friends calling me late at night and telling me what kind of an asshole I was. Eventually I started to believe them, as many of us have done in the past. So I thought “What the hell, it cant hurt to just TRY this relationship and see were it goes, I can always break up”. BIG MISTAKE.
As we had our arguments over how I should life my life (she didn’t like that i do drugs, mostly marijuana and occasionally coke, mdma, shrooms) things got worse. I did tell her about my drughabbit the FIRST time we talked and that this was something that I would continue with, so you could say i was rather confused. We got over it, and she said she would respect my decision of doing what I wanted to(lies). I would understand it if she didn’t know anything, but she did!
After we had been dating for about six months, she was going to move out of her apartment which she shared with random people. She asked me if we could move together which I obviously responded “no” to.
– This is the point when she started taking control, and I am so furious that I didn’t see what was going on.
I had some disagreements with my friends whom I lived with. She started to get into my head and telling me how bad friends they were. She even got me to move out of my apartment and move in with her. This isn’t like me at all, I love everyone! I never argue. Now i barely speak to my earlier housemates anymore.
We went on a 1 week vacation right before we moved in together, and it was at this time she really started to change. We BARELY had sex one time during this trip. After we moved in together, it was 3 months with almost nothing at all. She refused to talk about it and made fun of me when I brought it up.
Eventually she started to gain weight, and started an actual fistfight(!!!) with some of my female friends on our move-in party. She was drunk AF and blames everyone else but herself, gave up that argue a long time ago. Now 50% of my friends cant invite me to events because of her. 85% of the time we go out, we have to leave early because she gets p~~~ drunk, or she got “bored” (she is BAD socially, and not interesting, of course no one wanted to talk to her). We barely have sex anymore, because I’m disgusted by the way she looks and acts. So now she is telling me that I am “lucky” to have a girl who loves sex so much. When I test her on it(she asks me and I usually say “no”) and say “Yes! Lets have sex” she usually backs out. She never want to when I’m in the mood. She only uses it to guilt me.
After 9 months living together, i said I wanted to leave her. As we had 0 mutual interests, she wanted to get married with children and be a stay at home-wife. I told her several times before we moved in together that I DIDN’T want to get married, and that I would NEVER have kids. I will never buy a house with someone, when I am perfectly fit to buy one on my own without taking the risks. She still get furious over this, but say she doesn’t care(lies). I work in finance and see everyday how much relationships f~~~s up finance (my dad did this to my mom as well), and i grew up in a financially f~~~ed up family. I will never trust someone else with my money.
As I left to live at my friends over the weekend, I felt really bad for her and of course I went back. She promised to change and to stop being a bitch. She actually did, for almost an entire week.
Not long after this, she lost ALL of her friends. No, seriously. She is THAT awful. I felt so bad for her, I definitely couldn’t leave her like this.
As everything went back to normal conditions(aka HELL), I started questioning myself a lot. Was all of this really my fault? Many of my friends (blue pills) told me so, at several occasions. I had trouble with coming to terms with this, as I had told my girlfriend my future plans and she should be well informed that we wanted 2 different things out of life.
She is now working about 50%, does not study and have no other plans for her life than to watch TV and eat(TV 8+hours a day, but I’m the asshole for playing videogames). She speaks at a higher volume than everyone else, which is fine for an hour or two. This really shouldn’t be a problem. I have tinnitus(hearing damage) and should avoid loud noises over long periods of time. I tell her to lower her voice at least 3 times a day(yes really), and also covering my ears when she is at her worst. She still continue this rampage of loud noises. She is like garbage, garbage who makes loud sounds and lay on the couch. She doesn’t have any talents so this is the closest i got to a comparison.
We were together another 6 months before I told her that I wasn’t sure about this relationship and that we maybe should split parts. Again she made promises of change. So I bought my own apartment and we moved in there(live there now). We had an argument when we went out last time, couple of weeks ago. I wanted to take picture of a beer to remember the brand. A female friend of my (10 years+) held the beer between her boobs for laughs as I took the picture. After 30 min my girlfriend freaked out and wanted to leave. I honestly didn’t think that was the reason. She compared it to as if she would have taken a picture of a friends dick(Funny, because she doesn’t have any friends to take dickpictures of). During this drunk argument I told her to leave. The next day, she refused to speak to me and was crying whilst looking for apartments she cant afford. As usual, I felt bad and told her to stay.. I didn’t think we should part after screaming to each other when she had no other friends to go to.
You need to know, her oldest brother took suicide many years ago, her other brother is deeply depressed. Same with my girlfriend. It is a pool of really bad genes and bad parenting a long way(got everything she wanted as long as she screamed long enough). I was truly afraid of her killing herself.
But now, after many hours on this forum, I understand. “I was blind, but now I see”.
And to add a bonus, she got a friend at work! She is even worse than my girlfriend, and have a beta-bluepill-boyfriend. You know the ones with 40+ emojis of hearts and smileys over a 10 sentence “goodnight”message. She is obviously in a better mood, which in her world means acting like a ten-year old with untreated ADHD and making noises.
Finally, it’s time for me to life my own life. Just looking back at the 2 years of wasted time on this fat, moneysucking, socially-retarded piece of s~~~. I am turning 26 in a month, and I want to get back to my old ways, the good way of life. I can not believe that I have let myself become this reduced, depressed and miserable man, just because of a bag of s~~~ have held me down for her own winnings.
I will take her out on valentines day, even though she know money is tight(because of her) and she knows I hate this day(commercial piece of crap day). Of course money is tight, I pay almost everything(even thought she will dispute me on this at every occasion). We will have a nice meal and drink, all paid by me of course. I will do everything with a smile, because this is the last time, EVER.
The next day, when I come home from work – I will tell her to pack her s~~~ and leave. This is all thanks to this community, you f~~~ing saved my life from years of horror.
I will keep you updated when it happens.
I salute you all.
Varun 3 years, 11 months ago.
