I Strongly dislike my mother, and want to cut her off?!

[TYEParticipant 291]

Should I cut my mother off completely after joining the Military, or should I keep a very distant relationship with her. I don’t think any type of communication will work between us, when ever I get around her she brings out the worst in me. I have had anger management problems all my life, but I have learned to control my emotions she is determined to reverse my progress. She has no respect when I talk to her, and voice my opinion about something she curses and calls me “f~~~ing stupid” telling me I will never be anything. I am sick of her abuse the only reason I haven’t cracked her face open is because, well she is my mother after all even worse my father is no better.

[VileNordParticipant 766]

I say yes, cut her off. We don’t get to choose the family we are born into, but we can choose who we allow into our lives as independent adults. You do not owe your mother anything for giving birth to you and raising you, this is a myth. You did not choose to be born, SHE chose to have a kid, SHE chose to raise you, SHE did it for herself, you had no choice in the matter, therefore you have no obligation to her. If she doesn’t want to make enough of an effort to keep you in her life, then you have no reason to stay. It is not easy to cut yourself off from family, but if they are poison to your person, it is what you must do if you want to be happy.

Good luck in the military BTW. I enjoyed my brief stint in the Army, even though I was anti-establishment and found myself in trouble quite a bit 😉

Lust for comfort suffocates the soul

[TYEParticipant 291]

Thank you Vile you have been a huge help I have for to long felt guilty about wanting to cut my mother off, but now I see what must be done for me to truly be at peace in life.

Thank you lol I hope to gain more discipline in the Military, something that I was deprived of as a child due to being raised by a single woman.

[VileNordParticipant 766]

Be cautious not to take my views to heart, but rather to take them into consideration. This is ultimately a very personal decision for you and I know nothing about you or your mom other than what you have said here. Once she is aware of your intention, she may never forgive you. She will feel abandoned. So think it through thoroughly and don’t feel guilty about giving her what she deserves if you decide that she deserves it.

Lust for comfort suffocates the soul

[KeymasterKeymaster]

VileNord said “we don’t choose the family we are born into” and that was my first thought as well.

But when it comes to “respecting your elders / parents”….. don’t accept that hogwash about how you MUST respect your parents , just because they are your parents. Respect for your elders – including your parents – must be based on parental performance, and not because they once had unprotected sex. It sounds funny, but that’s how you came to exist.

“Some parents are good parents. Most are not.”
– George Carlin

Life is a battle enough already for your to battle the people in your life who knock you down and kick you there. Men not only have to earn their way to of worthlessness, but we also have to withstand the cultural bombardment and the constant “beating down” by females… ‘you’re silly”… “you’re stupid”…. “no I won’t go out with you”….. “you’re wrong”… “you’re a creep”…. “you’re probably a loser”….. “how do I know you’re not a rapist”…. you know exactly what I am talking about.

This lets up as you get older, but early in adult life, it can be discouraging.

When it comes to women (yes including your mother) there’s a really terrific approach that works in our favor. Ignoring them. Kill them with kindness, and when they don’t respond with kindness, totally ignore them. It’s magic.

Best of luck to you. In everything.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[TYEParticipant 291]

Thank you Key and Vile funny thing is we got into an argument last night, and she said those exact things to me but with a little more brutality “you’re stupid”…”you’re dumb”…”you’re f~~~ing doomed”…”you will never be anything, because god won’t bless you” etc. I said nothing to her when she walked in it seems like she takes her anger out on me after work. I remain humble and my voice stays low, but her voice is raised to the highest it will go I have learned who the real savages are, and it isn’t men look closely at who’s always screaming and losing their “cool”.

[kevward63Participant 9]

Even though I do not personally know the situation between you both ( there is always more than one side !! ) then if that is how she always behaves then get rid….toxic people will poison YOU. Agree with previous points you DID NOT choose to be born , respect & affection is EARNED , not freely given !!

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

Thank you Key and Vile funny thing is we got into an argument last night, and she said those exact things to me but with a little more brutality “you’re stupid”…”you’re dumb”…”you’re f~~~ing doomed”…”you will never be anything, because god won’t bless you” etc. I said nothing to her when she walked in it seems like she takes her anger out on me after work. I remain humble and my voice stays low, but her voice is raised to the highest it will go I have learned who the real savages are, and it isn’t men look closely at who’s always screaming and losing their “cool”.

I suggest you buy a book called “Awaken The Giant Within” and “Unlimited Power” by Tony Robbins. Or you could borrow from your local library if they have it. These two books will help you cope with emotional difficulties. My father was the same way probably worse than your parents. He could men grown men cry and I have seen this myself.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[TheBardParticipant 974]

I say stop communicating with her too if she treats you like that. You don’t need that kind of drama in your life.

[WarriorParticipant 14]

I totally agree with what the others here have said. No one has the right to make you feel like s~~~ and antagonize you like that. Quite frankly, women like that shouldn’t be allowed to have kids in the first place. You’re completely justified in cutting her out, mother or not.

On a side note, I really hope you haven’t internalized the s~~~ she’s spouting too much. Don’t let her poison be your problem.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

@OldAtHeart listen up and listen good.

That’s what women “do” when they “teach”. They deliberately berate and trash you and make you feel worthless and think this is somehow their way of “bringing the best out of you”. Much like an Army drill sergeant who will reduce you to scum on your first day of training, the female teacher/ mother / girlfriend / wife takes the stance that she is “teaching him a lesson”, and she will do this by being violent and totally destructive.

I’m not kidding.

The female “teacher” / mother / authority figure believes she is better and smarter than you – simply because she was born with a vagina. You don’t need to be a genius to know this by observing women in your life. Female bosses do the same thing. They think by TRASHING your skills, efforts and ambitions they are somehow making a positive contribution to your life.

Eventually the man says “f~~~ this s~~~, I will show her”….. and he goes his own way and makes something of himself. Then the female in all her supreme arrogance thinks to herself “I made him do that. I inspired him. I brought out the BEST in him.” It’s such complete bulls~~~. Like she “made him a better man” by treating him like crap. You must never let women take credit for your efforts.

EVER.

Even if she wore him down to the point where he says “I’m not taking this s~~~ anymore, Im gonna go be a rock star or a millionaire”…. her angle was to WEAR HIM DOWN. Have you ever outsmarted a female teacher? Ho boy she will make your life a living hell. I normally avoid mentioning personal experiences and examples – unless I am just doing it for entertainment – and because one man is not an example,…. but in this case, I have experience working along side of large numbers of females in positions of authority. If there is one thing the ALL have in common, it’s what I said above. The female believes that complimenting a man is doing him a dis-service. A man must develop total immunity to this s~~~ and hammer her down to pulp when she tries to take credit for her “creation”. Male teachers and authority figures will recognize and reward a well-performing student. They will seek out his POSITIVE attributes and encourage them. The female seeks out the negative and amplifies them….. and uses words of discouragement, while thinking she is being “inspiring”. Don’t ever let her get away with that s~~~.

SHE: “you’re stupid. You;re scum. You’re a loser and will amount to nothing.”

YOU: “Is this your bulls~~~ way of trying to be inspiring? Try harder. You miserable failure.”

Timothy: 2:12 “Never let a woman teach or have authority over a man.”
Whether you believe in the bible or not is irrelevant.
Those words were written for a reason.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[ManyNamesManyTitlesParticipant 24]

Indeed you deserve to be shown respect at all times. break off any relatioship that is disrespectful to you. you deserve better.

[SoldanoParticipant 108]

I am no one to tell a guy if he should cut his mum from his life bu i happen to know a guy who just did.

This friend of my mum had divorced her husband, bought a seaside appartement and hermes bag with his money,
and spent her days at the flea market or hairsalon. The poor guy spent his life in the military, he actually was an general,
was injured and left with no money, forced to move into a miserable appartement.
How is that even possible is beyond me.

After a while she got lonely and started to try to emotionnally blackmail her son.
At the age of 20 he started to understand that she was the bad one trying to brainwash him about his dad being a loser.

Then he became a successfull lawyer and she started bragging, which annoyed him.
Met this girl and decided to get married.
He told his mom, and then added that he didn’t want her in his life or near his children.

You know. 40 years of feminism….

[MajorHeelsParticipant 47]

I can only talk from own experience. Coincidentally, long term military and horrendous mother/son relationship. And yes, nobody on this planet can incite my inner killer better and faster than my mother.

After swallowing the bitterest pill I finally realized my dilemma was simple.

Mother/Son is after all, simply MAN/WOMAN.

She once had sex with guy who “thought” she was on the PILL. (that’s a new story 🙂

A great man was the result 🙂

Any MAN has the right to END ANY relationship with a WOMAN for ANY reason he chooses without explanation.

Goodbye Mummy Bitch 🙂

And DAMN do I feel good about that !

P.S. Does the LION still go and visit his “mummy” ?

 

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Does the LION still go and visit his “mummy” ?

In a phone call with her just last week, that’s exactly what I said. (I can’t believe I’m reading it here a few days later). A great question, and when my Mom asked me to come home for the Holidays this year. The answer was NO.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[MendokusaiParticipant 256]

I guess I’m lucky,my old lady chose to run off with another man when I was  8 leaving my father to raise me.I learnt early on to see the bad,twisted,evil side of the lower sex.Cut her off you don’t owe her a thing.

[lukeylalaParticipant 56]

If you feel like cutting her off, just do it! You’ll be glad you did. Anyone bringing you down that much shouldn’t be put up with.

My mother is a controlling, vile, lying, deceitful, ‘I’m never in the wrong’ f~~~ing nutcase of a woman who put my Father through 18 years of hell! She blamed everything on him, cheated on him twice and anything he did was never good enough. He put up with her for the sake of me and my younger sister, but eventually decided enough was enough. Ever since we cut her off life has been so much better.

She still messages me now and again asking how I am. I feel like responding until I realise just how much of a toxic person she is, being so full of s~~~ and all. I’ll be happy if I never speak to her again.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

At the end of the day, your mother is not some magical creature, she’s just a person… and it sounds like yours is not a very good one. I can say that because mine isn’t either.

My mother is a greedy, selfish, conniving, two-faced bitch and I cut my relationship with her as soon as I was old enough and man enough to do it. All she cared about was money. If I brought in money, she “loved” me but if I spend money, I was s~~~. If I dated a girl who looked like she would control me and make me earn money for her, she loved the girl… if I dated someone who was fun for me and let me be myself, she hated the girl. She dominated my father and she tried to dominate me and I just wouldn’t stand for it… and eventually we could just no longer tolerate each other.

I have no regrets. As someone already said in this thread, you’re born with your family but you choose the people you want in your life. Mothers don’t deserve to get a pass just because they gave birth to you… that was their choice and it’s on them. They, like everyone else, should only be judged on how they treat you.

[DocParticipant 112]

Mothers don’t deserve to get a pass just because they gave birth to you… that was their choice and it’s on them. They, like everyone else, should only be judged on how they treat you.

Amen.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Gentlemen. I believe this says it best, and OldAtHeart has an answer.
(Forward to 1:30 if you want to get straight to it, but watch the whole thing. It’s perfect.)

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Author]

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