I 'started' giving a f~~~ and it ruined me

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

Hey my fellow brothers, been working on myself a lot lately since I last posted. I’m doing so much better its insane but I still have some problems maybe you guys can help me out with. Its been hard being at a new town, no friends. The major problem is I compare aspects of my life that are inferior to other’s lives and conclude mine sucks (I NEVER used to be like this, I had such a serious IDGAF attitude) eg. so now its like I see soliders and think that they somehow are superior because they paratrooped before, or someone gets to ride around in a helicopter…

A huge thing was this stupid woman I was involved with, she worked as a flight nurse on a helicopter so bragged ALL THE TIME about ‘saved this guy, saw that mountain, this city is so cool at night with night vision goggles, oh you rock climbed or cliff jumped today? that’s pretty boring.’

It ate at me so bad, I was NEVER going to fly around the city and see it from the air, never see it with NVG, never see these remote locations…it fed into my general inferiority complex I loosely had and was amplified huge. Maybe to some this sounds really dumb, but this type of ‘never going to happen’ thing eats at me deeply.

I got a good job, but I have this desperation that I need to DO SOMETHING, and that every solider I see, every helicopter that flies over, every fire truck is like a taunting reminder of me being inferior.

I slowly started ‘caring’ that I wouldn’t jump out of a plane to go be Rambo, or that I wouldn’t be the hero saving someone on a mountain, and its weighing on me. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I KNOW HOW S~~~TY/F~~~ED UP THIS SOCIETY IS.

Major cognitive dissonance, I get that.

Thanks guys.

[MemberParticipant 323]

Sometimes as we get older we start to regret not doing things differently. I have found that if you sit down and think about some of these new feelings you will find out that its just a temporary thing like a mini mid life crisis (not sure of your age). And also if I am honest some of those things that seem cool in a fleeting thought would really not be that great in reality or wouldn’t suit my personality. However in your example of wanting to fly around in a helicopter at night I have a solution………go rent a helicopter and do exactly that. Take a night time ride over the city just to have the experience. We forget that a lot of the time those things that seem impossible really aren’t out of reach if we want to try it.

[RoyDalParticipant]

I like the helicopter ride idea. It cannot cost more than a couple of months of cable TV, and, unlike TV, it will give you fond memories. It just depends where you want to spend your time and money.

I also recommend adopting a philosophical attitude. Here’s a place to start, if you’re interested: http://99u.com/articles/24401/a-makers-guidebook-9-stoic-principles-to-nurture-your-life-and-work

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

We can sometimes over think and get in a loop. Be careful coz this can lead down the road to depression.

There is a reason why people stand in front of a map and throw a dart at it ☺

Sometimes you just got to stop thinking and throw a dart.

One day … many many years ago, I drove a truck. While waiting at a red light an airliner flew over. In that instant …. I threw my dart …. and learned to fly. No reason, no planning …. just got up and went for it.

Now I sit on a flight deck and stare at the guy driving the fuel truck …. thinking ….. that lucky truck driver is going home tonight ?

JUST THROW THE FKING DART.

[Dez82Participant 107]

She brags because she wants to have attentions and feel admired. Another person in a similar situation would have been quiet and talked about his interesting job only if asked. How dares she to put down your interests? Tell her clearly, in front of others, that it’s a mean thing to do. However, tell it like you’re not giving a f~~~, if you smile back it’s even better but don’t show sadness or anger..rather wait until you’re in the right mood.
About your spleen for adventurous things, I used to feel the same way.. the only good advice is to just do the things you dream without thinking too much. How about flying lessons? If the cost is a problem you can consider ULMs. They’re aviation “sons of a lesser god” however they fly for the same principles of heavier machines and they require proper training and skills. They can improve your focusing and “cold blood” skills as well as your self confidence. They’re fun, cheap to operate (you’re not forced to buy one). Trust me, they’re inebriating, only remember to treat them with humility. Don’t be afraid of the challenge at all: I pilot those things and I can assure you that if I learned to fly everyone can. If you’re not sure, you can start with Member’s idea so you can decide if flight is a thing for you. If it is not, try something else. Have you ever considered archery? I don’t know the american name for the specialty but I’m referring to shooting to animal targets (fake ones). It is another sport that is good for self confidence, relaxing and fun.

Oh, the most important suggestion: as soon as you start to think “I can’t” just disconnect brain and call your nearest flight school or helicopter sightseeing tour.

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

I took 2 plane pilot rides, and 2 helicopter rides, the plane was boring by the 2nd, and the helicopter was ‘ok’. So i fully see the cognitive dissonace in my own mind the even the activity I am idolizes wasnt that sick, in my mind its like ‘but you werent RESCUING someone from it’. I did rescue for man years, but it was all ground, so its like I hurt myself by saying ‘well it was never from air, therefore it wasn’t as intense or real’.

[LupusParticipant 214]

Your validation and self confidence should come from you and you alone. Others opinions in this regard are irrelevant.
They can only touch you if you allow it.
Ignore the sheep around you.
Set yourself free.

[OldBillParticipant]

You are your own yardstick. Comparing yourself and your accomplishments to other people and their accomplishments is a waste of time.

I was a sailor and a soldier. While both experiences helped me become the man I am today, those experiences in no way automatically make me a better man than you or any other man.

You want or feel the need to parachute? Take lessons. You want to or feel the need see your city from the air? Rent time or take flying lessons. You want or feel the need to help people? There are thousands of ways to volunteer. You want or feel the need to try new things and/or develop new hobbies? Meetup dot com and similar sites have hundreds of groups involved in hundreds of things all around you. You want or feel the need to do something? Then do something.

Go your own way and be proud of that. Good luck.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

I understand how you feel….I think. I was a soldier for almost 26 years, paratrooper for six years. I have lived in more states and countries than I have had cars.

For me, the things I did were part of the job. I hated jumping out of airplanes. I’m afraid of heights. Doing something over and over again doesn’t conquer your fears.

When you ask someone “how did it go” when asking what he or she does the answer should be the result. Patient made it/didn’t make it. Positive outlook/negative outlook.

If this person has enough time on their hands to sight see then they are more than likely not giving their job the attention it deserves.

I can’t recall any discussion from with a flight medic in which they talked about how cool the ride was. They talked about the mission and how it went.

ILiveAgain wrote:

One day … many many years ago, I drove a truck. While waiting at a red light an airliner flew over. In that instant …. I threw my dart …. and learned to fly. No reason, no planning …. just got up and went for it.

Listen to what ILiveAgain is saying.

If you want to have a good story to tell, then start doing your own writing. It could be you are a better author that the other guy.

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[OldBillParticipant]

Soldier-Medic wrote:

If this person has enough time on their hands to sight see then they are more than likely not giving their job the attention it deserves.

Amen, brother.

I once had someone tell me “This is so f~~~ing sweet…” in the middle of a firefight. He wasn’t cracking a joke to lighten the mood, he was serious. He was sightseeing like he was a tourist or playing a video game. For whatever reason, what happening all around him wasn’t somehow real. It scared the p~~~ out of me.

We got him reassigned within days.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

LightBringer wrote:

A huge thing was this stupid woman I was involved with, she worked as a flight nurse on a helicopter so bragged ALL THE TIME about ‘saved this guy, saw that mountain, this city is so cool at night with night vision goggles, oh you rock climbed or cliff jumped today? that’s pretty boring.’

People who brag about things like that are generally incredibly boring and empty personalities when you get to know them. I guarantee she tries to impress people with her job because she, in herself, is an unimpressive person. The really interesting guys are the ones who don’t talk about their jobs, much less brag about them, because no matter how cool and interesting it might seem to you, for them it’s just a job.

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

sidecar wrote:

LightBringer wrote:

A huge thing was this stupid woman I was involved with, she worked as a flight nurse on a helicopter so bragged ALL THE TIME about ‘saved this guy, saw that mountain, this city is so cool at night with night vision goggles, oh you rock climbed or cliff jumped today? that’s pretty boring.’

People who brag about things like that are generally incredibly boring and empty personalities when you get to know them. I guarantee she tries to impress people with her job because she, in herself, is an unimpressive person. The really interesting guys are the ones who don’t talk about their jobs, much less brag about them, because no matter how cool and interesting it might seem to you, for them it’s just a job.

Yeah I think that is pretty true. Some of the more badass guys I know talk very little about what they did. I really liked that woman, and being trusting by nature when she told me I was boring, I took it to heart ‘she wouldnt lie to me right?’ so the conversation and internal thoughts were ‘you = boring, me as flight nurse = very cool/exciting’ I was super depressed and almost sucidal and in my mind I was like ‘yes, if I only become a flight nurse it will be so perfect’.

I dont think that anymore, but still remnents of the whole debacle.

[Author]

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