I said "No" and it felt great.

[JinParticipant 77]

Ok, so a little background about me. I am currently 17 years old, junior, and attend a large all boys Catholic high school.

Alright so this morning I was suppose to wake up early to start studying for my physics quiz. I ended up hitting the snooze until I had only enough time to get dressed and get driven to school. I am both nervous and angry at this point because I did not study for this quiz… School starts at 7:40 A.M. and I arrive at the parking lot at 7:22 A.M. I am walking quite fast because I want to get inside and get some study time in. As I am walking, I see a black SUV parked within my path. I maneuver myself around. As I am about halfway passed the car I hear a feminine voice. There was a lady on the other side I did not see. Now I take a quick glance at her and she is about 40 ish years old and I have seen her around school and I know she is a teacher, but I just never had her.
She goes “Can I ask for a favor?”
I reply nearly instantly with no hesitance and without turning my head at all. “No.”
Absolutely shocked “No??”
I could of actually kept walking but I let her down easy. “Sorry. No.” I did not have to add sorry, but I did.
As I walked past her I could just feel her eyes cutting in to my body and her mouth wide open. When I got inside I studied with a smile on face. It felt soo good telling her “no.”

I find out later today that physics class was cancelled. Yay me. So fast forward some more… I go to lunch and get my usual sandwich and get ready to study for my religion quiz the next period. The bell rings and huge sum of us make our way to our next class. If you just picture a pack of sheep moving that is what it looks like. I am just about to take make my first step on the stairs when I am tapped on by the shoulder. I quickly turn to see who it is. It is the dean of discipline. Now I know I have not done anything bad lately so I know I am not in trouble for anything serious… He is about 6’4”, slightly chubby, short hair, and he’s got that military voice.

“What time did you arrive to school today?” (With deep anger in his eyes)
I begin to realize that he is going to bring up the incident in the parking lot. “I don’t know”
“Did you say ‘no’ to a teacher in the parking lot today”
“Yes”
“Why”
“I had a physics quiz to study for. And now you are holding me up from taking my religion quiz…”
“Give me your student I.D.”
I hand it to him and he stares at it for a good 10 seconds.
“Look Sir I really gotta go take this quiz…”
Gives it back to me.
“What you did to that teacher was wrong. You have to go say sorry to her.”
I reply “I don’t even know her name!”
I walk to my class in deep thoughts….

Ok, so first off I know the bitch complained to this guy and he knew to pick me because she most likely said I was asian. Which I am, there are about 9 asians in this entire school of 700. So that explains how he was able to pin point me down (lol I thought that was interesting.) Also, I had the right to say No when she asked me if i could do a favor. I would have said No to anyone at that point this morning because I was really desperate to get some study time in.

Anyways what do you guys think? It was just a fun story and I thought I would just share it. 🙂

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"

[Anonymous 18]

Nothing you did was wrong my friend. It just goes to say how vindictive some women can be. Imagine now if you were a coworker who dared say no. You would be in HR getting a peptalk about sensitivity awareness…..

Study hard man.

You put a 40 year grown woman in her place something grown man like the 6’4” dean guy couldn’t dare.

Thanks for sharing.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Well handled.

“No” is an acceptable response. You can remind people of that when they have a problem with it. And they WILL. It’s just as acceptable as “yes”, but you have to point that out to them. You could even mention the fact that you didn’t say “No…… BITCH”. So he shouldn’t be behaving like you treated her badly. It was just no. No isn’t rude, women need to be reminded that a “yes” is not required.

You’ll notice she didn’t even say “please” when she asked for the favor. (Women never do.)
Something could mention too.

Keep it close to you that you don’t owe anyone a yes. Another response could be “what’s in it for ME?”.
That’s not “no”, but it will p~~~ a woman off just as much.

Even a salesperson will get mad at “no”. They will pitch you a $ 40, 000 car, and when you walk away from just looking around , they will try to make you feel like you OWE them $ 40,000. They will just have to get over it.

HE: “Did you say ‘no’ to a teacher in the parking lot today”

YOU: “Yes”

HE: “Why”

YOU: “She didn’t say “please”. And neither did you just now. I have something known as “manners”. ”

HE: “You have to go say sorry to her.”

YOU: “Why are you behaving like I tread her badly?”

Flip him on his ass.

After all , “give me your ID… ” is rude. The correct question is “may I see your identification please”.
The “Dean of Discipline” could use a lesson in basic manners himself.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

Nice dude. You really showed them. Keymaster once told me that “no” needs to become my new favorite word. Its true. Saying no can even be fun!
One of my coworkers today was going on and on in the office about how valuable she is and that she needs a man “I’m really good at cleaning, I’m loyal, I’m the nicest person you’ll ever meet, I’m the most giving person ever, and most of all I’m really good at giving my man favors…if you know what I mean. (yuck) Hey System Addict! Will you take care of me?” I responded with no hesitation whatsoever, “No.” Everybody in our proximity just started cracking up. Later that day, she came up to me and asked me if I was okay. I said “I’m feeling great! How about you?” She made a weird huffing noise like a dog to show her disgust. She took that s~~~ personally and probably felt bad because our coworkers laughed at her. I didn’t give any f~~~s and I’m glad I didn’t.

Saying no when you mean it allows you to be honest with yourself. Not only that, it shows other people that you won’t put up with bulls~~~. Sure they might take it personally or whatever, but that’s their problem. Do what you want and don’t settle for anything less.

You did well today Jin. Keep up your badass ways.

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

“Did you say ‘no’ to a teacher in the parking lot today”

Wtf? I have to ask – what country are you in? This is nuts! Not that I dont think it couldnt happen anywhere, but I would just like to know.

What a dip s~~~ to tell you that you cant say no to a teacher. Its easy for me to play Monday morning quarter back and tell you that you should have said “no” to him asking for your id. But that wouldnt be fair imo. Your 17 and faced with multiple authority figures. I dont think it would have been a bad play to challenge him as well, but in all honesty I dont blame you for not doing so.

Bottom line: they are reaching WAY beyond their authority and you did nothing wrong.

Resident cynic.

[RoyDalParticipant]

They all want us to be their obedient little slaves, don’t they?

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Frank V.Participant 2445]

Hello Jin !

As someone who also has a religious education, I think I may be in the position to give some advice.

First step, as you and System Addict are learning, the power of “no” is much like an Iron Fist for smashing through the thin little strings that manipulators of puppets love to use. Good for you !

Now second step is to not replace the Iron Fist for “Kid Gloves” when the sharp edges become an issue. The key is to learn how to wrap it in a Velvet Glove.

You see, in religion there is the art of the “apologetic”. It is from the Greek word “Apologia” (ἀπολογία) and means “speaking in defense” or to “explain”.

You don’t have to apologize (say “I’m sorry”), but you can use your religious environment to offer an “apologia”. You are in the perfect place to learn the art !

“What’s your name ? Miss Crabapple ? I didn’t recognize your car when I first saw it* and I was in a hurry because of my test. Mr Whatzisface worked so hard to get us ready for the final that I didn’t want to get a bad grade. ……”

Remember, eyes big, let your voice crack a little, wear a “frowny sad face” 🙁

No, the cute little puppy / child just wanted to do good and didn’t want to let teachers down- such a good boy !

Remember this, in many a religious institution laying on huge piles of “apologia” are not only a common practice, but can even lead to a lucrative career !

It takes time, but it is well worth it. The very best can often tell a person to buzz off and get thanked for the directions !

Frank V.

*: Not a lie, you did not recognize it at first.

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

Shouldn’t have said sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong—but whatever. It’s hard to stop, when you’ve been conditioned since the cradle to apologize for everything. Ever since I stopped saying sorry for things that weren’t my fault, I noticed that people, especially women, say sorry FOR NOTHING. It’s sorry this, sorry that, sorry I walked ten feet in front of you, etc. Could just be because I’m in Canada. Haven’t been to America in a long time, so I don’t really know what the people are like.

OP, seventeen is a really s~~~ty age. It’s terrible. Don’t let anybody tell you he wishes he could be your age. Things get better (nice thing about finishing high school is that everything you worried about in high school, who’s friends with whom, who’s dating whom, who said what—none of that s~~~ even matters an iota the NANOSECOND you finish high school).

Pretty soon, you’ll be on your own, and it only goes up from there.

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Rockmaninoff wrote:

I noticed that people, especially women, say sorry FOR NOTHING. It’s sorry this, sorry that, sorry I walked ten feet in front of you, etc.

It’s wierd isn’t it.

Come out of an elevator and a woman waiting to get on says “sorry”.
Woman brushes up against you and says “sorry”.
You’re explaining an idea an a woman says “sorry” sarcastically before interrupting you.

But she doesn’t say “sorry” when she commits paternity fraud. No woman on the Maury Povich show was recorded BEGGING for forgiveness when it was found out “You are NOT the father!!!” – which is the worst possible non-violent thing she can’t do to somebody. She falls to the floor in tears – … or runs out of the room crying – like some kind of a “victim” though.

Women aren’t “sorry” enough.

But Tiger Wood’s wife was bad in bed and beat him with a golf club. He gave her $ 250 MILLION for that……. and STILL said “sorry”. It f~~~ing hurt me in my b~~~~ to witness that s~~~ as he apologized. $ONE million and “Get the f~~~ out of my life you poor excuse of a wife” would have been apology enough…. and it’s STILL a million more than she deserved.

When he stepped out in front of the cameras he should have said “I allow you to live. You’re welcome.” and then walked off.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Sovereign SoulParticipant 47]

You learned another valuable lesson also: age and ‘credentials’ have absolutely nothing to do with common sense or intelligence. “I’m a Dean!” “I have a PhD!” “I’m a city councilor!”….so what? You’re still a f*cking chowderhead.

[DethklokParticipant 153]

I must admit, I am disappointed here.

At first, I thought you were going to say no to banging a teacher. I would have been disappointed.

Then you said no to a teacher for a reason that is undetermined. I don’t know if a “female reason” or what. What if a male teacher “asked for a favor” and you said no. Would everyone be cheering it? I don’t have enough evidence that this was a female thing. I could be wrong though.

I was banking on this being an article about some good looking c~~~ who always gets her way, and you put her in her place.

[Anonymous 42]

Hey Jin, the only refinement I can see in how you handled yourself would be if you were to replace “sorry” with “Mam”, saying simply “No Mam”. No person on earth could have any legitimate complaint about your manners.
I had a banker chick in high heals show up at my door after getting her car stuck around the corner (springtime dirt road). Any other time I would have helped her, but I had to be in Boston to file some counterclaims in land court. I was direct and blunt with her, I was even a bit angry with her stupidity for getting stuck in the first place! I told her I had to file this paper work (holding up a manila folder as I walked by her) telling her I can’t help you, I’m running late as it is! I can only imagine all the rotten things she had to say about me to her coworkers, she was attractive, well dressed, and shocked. They don’t understand they can’t just expect people to drop what their doing to help them out of their predicament. I make no apology, I got my paperwork filed on time, helping her could have put my case in jeopardy. If it were a life and death situation that’s another story, but stuck in the mud wearing high heels? Grow a brain, get a 4×4!

[Author]

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