I Need Advice Big Time

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

I am divorced with 2 little boys, 5 and 2. They live with their mother in Canada. I live in Thailand. I skype with my kids for a couple hours on Saturdays and Sundays. I turn on Skype to chat with my kids last weekend and there are 2 pictures sent to me from my ex-wife’s account. One of my 5 year old with his pants and underwear down from the front and one from the back. Needless to say I was immediately shocked and p~~~ed off.

I call and video chat with my kids. My ex asks if I saw the pictures. Yes, of course i did. What happened? She said a boy my son plays with (7 years old) told him to do it using my ex-wife’s iPad. I ask my son what happened and he said his friend xxx told him to do it. So I explain that he should never take pictures like that and he should say no. Don’t do what your friend’s tell you if you don’t think it’s right. If they get angry, they’re not your real friends, etc. I tell my ex that I don’t think our son should be hanging out with boy.

Today, I get a message from my ex through a chat app called Line in Japanese. usually she texts in Japanese when it’s something that will make her look bad and she doesn’t want English speakers to read it. The message says, “Is ‘onani’ Japanese? Do you say ‘onani’ in English? The other day, the same kid that took pictures of (my son) taught him the word ‘onani’. If you delete Skype history, that will delete the pictures you were sent. will you please delete them?”

‘Onani’ is Japanese for jerking off.

I respond, “Who is this kid? He is not a good friend for (son) to have. You should not let them play together. He had (son) take naked photos and send them on Skype to me and now you say he taught (son) about masturbating? There is something wrong with that boy. That is not normal.”

She responds in English now, “I know that’s why I never let them play alone but with supervise. And I do filter iPad. So onani is only Japanese? Are you worried he is a gay? if onani is Japanese, we like to find out who taught that kid about it and we have to be careful another Japanese friend so.” (never? really?)

What the f~~~ should i do? Should I delete the Skype history? i don’t want those pictures in my account (they are not on my pc) because I know the courts will probably destroy me if they get a chance but I also think I will need them if I decide to go to the police later. Should i go to the police now? Should I go for custody? Why is she not as outraged as I am? Frankly, I don’t give a damn about the “another Japanese friend”. I only care about my son.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[RoyDalParticipant]

In the US, people go to jail for possessing pictures of undressed children.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[RoyDalParticipant]

Your sons, and their mother, are in hot water.

Here is something to read:

http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/child-abuse-law.html
Child Abuse Law
The authority responsible for child abuse law in Canada rests with the federal government.
In December, 1991, Canada signed and ratified the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. As a ratified member, Canada is internationally accountable with regard to its universal legislation on the rights of children and youth. These include the right for children and youth to live in a safe, protective and nurturing environment.

It seems to me that your son is being abused by a sexual pervert. Never mind the ages involved, but that is my opinion.
I do not know the details of Canadian child abuse law, but reading that article above brings it out that there are harsh penalties involved for running afoul of those laws.

Here in the US they are threatening high school kids with prison for sending one another pictures of themselves naked. I do not know what they do to parents of abused children in Canada, but the above article lists nasty things they can do if a prosecuting attorney gets riled up.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[UntamedParticipant]

Go to the Police NOW, otherwise they’ll ask you why you didn’t “do anything” before ( your eventual arrest ). Expose everything, make a statement and get a copy.
Go to your government’s courts and file for custody, no need to get a lawyer and lose your life savings, file it yourself. Even if they don’t grant it, you’re covered and there is a trace of your objection to your boy’s present social condition.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[RoyDalParticipant]

Untamed wrote:

Go to the Police NOW, otherwise they’ll ask you why you didn’t “do anything” before ( your eventual arrest ). Expose everything, make a statement and get a copy.

Yes. Here is a quote from the above article:

Child Abuse Law: Duty to Report

Duty to report is the most important of all child abuse laws.

In Canada, if someone knows of or suspects that a child is being abused, that person has a legal obligation to report the known or suspected abuse. Failure to report can result in charges being laid, as well as a fine of up to $10,000.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

I called Family and Children’s Services but their offices are not open yet. I will call again in a couple hours. Thanks for your advice guys.

Untamed: I would love to go to court and try to get custody but I live in Thailand.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[Dark KenshiParticipant 2132]

Keep the records as long as the trials go.

After that, remove them from Skype and iCloud.

Keep teaching your son what you are teaching him, it is all about repeating it to exhaustion, and he will learn it in due time.

You are doing a great job, Uchi. Your sons have an excelent father.

Keep up the good work, brother!

"Young was I once, I walked alone, and bewildered seemed in the way; then I found me another and rich I thought me, for man is the joy of man." Odin, Hàvamàl, stanza 47.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

I called and gave them a report of the situation. i know i did the right thing but i still feel s~~~ty. no way to feel good in a situation like this. i really think my ex is going to try to sweep everything under the rug to protect her friend but that puts my son at risk.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[Dark KenshiParticipant 2132]

uchibenkei wrote:

I called and gave them a report of the situation. i know i did the right thing but i still feel s~~~ty. no way to feel good in a situation like this. i really think my ex is going to try to sweep everything under the rug to protect her friend but that puts my son at risk.

Don’t let her do this.

Protect your son, no matter what. In the end, he will remeber this and will see who you are and who his mother is. You have the upper hand here, so use it in your favor.

This is later a reason to file for your sons guard, if it turns out that the guy is indeed a pedophile, she will have no answer when the judge asks you why you are claiming that your XW is unalbe to raise your kids, you show him this. This is a huge weapon that you have in the long run, but you just have to play it right.

"Young was I once, I walked alone, and bewildered seemed in the way; then I found me another and rich I thought me, for man is the joy of man." Odin, Hàvamàl, stanza 47.

[BloodyNineParticipant 87]

Tough to play the “good father” role when the interaction with your kids is limited to skyping on weekends…from several thousand miles away…..

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

uchibenkei wrote:

Today, I get a message from my ex through a chat app called Line in Japanese. usually she texts in Japanese when it’s something that will make her look bad and she doesn’t want English speakers to read it. The message says, “Is ‘onani’ Japanese? Do you say ‘onani’ in English? The other day, the same kid that took pictures of (my son) taught him the word ‘onani’. If you delete Skype history, that will delete the pictures you were sent. will you please delete them?”

uchibenkei wrote:

i really think my ex is going to try to sweep everything under the rug

That’s EXACTLY what she is trying to do, DON”T DELETE ANYTHING!!!

Social Services should be given a copy of this, so there is documentation/proof.

[Anonymous 42]

Your sons mother is a f~~~ing idiot! Your sons friend needs to be shunned like the plague! The next thing will be smoking, drinking, and drugs! That f~~~ing kid is headed for certain ruination! Mark my words, he’ll be dead or in prison before he’s 30, and an alcoholic drug abuser by 18 the latest! Let the kid visit his sicko s~~~ on someone else!

[UntamedParticipant]

uchibenkei wrote:

I called Family and Children’s Services but their offices are not open yet. I will call again in a couple hours. Thanks for your advice guys.

Untamed: I would love to go to court and try to get custody but I live in Thailand.

F~~~ Family and Children Services, they come after, go to the Cops first. It’s a criminal matter before it’s Family matter at least from your point of view.
It shouldn’t matter what country she’s in. Once you’ve filed, gather all reports ( police, court filing ) and submit that to the Embassy or Consulate of the country she is in. Research “Children’s Rights” in that country and file it under that. If they refuse to take it, ask for a reason and ask a paper for that. Don’t let up until they’re sick of seeing you. That’s what I’d do.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[John Woods 13Participant 2855]

Untamed wrote:

…submit that to the Embassy or Consulate of the country she is in

That is what I would do. You need to find the closest Canadian embassy/consulate and talk to them. Give them whatever information they need and make sure you get a written document/registration number/statement from them.
Are you also a Canadian citizen? Or at least, can you easily travel there. I would go check on my kids in person in this kind of situation.
Joke or not, this kind of thing should not be happening and I’m sure what you know/saw from thousands of miles away was just the tip of the iceberg.
Please try your best to go check on your kids or at least make sure they are safe.

The answer is NO. “I could but I won’t”. Memini murum!

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

When I was in grade school there was always at least one punk kid who tried to get all the other kids to do the dumb, sick s~~~ that kids do. Some kid would tell the other kids to say dirty words or bring porn mags to school or get kids to compare dicks during PE or convince them to try smoking in the bathroom… for me this was a normal part of growing up.

I looked at the porno mags… everything I knew about sex I learned from bigger kids at school as there was no internet at the time… but I knew playing in the shower was weird so I avoided that, as well as the smoking (which probably became drug experimenting later on). Having to navigate my own exposure to mature ideas without turning to teachers, parents, the police or the government gave me the ability to understand right from wrong and stand up for myself. Looking back, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Now I’m not saying you should let your kids go through their own process of discovery without guidance or intervention… the world is different than it was when I was a kid. In my day, we didn’t have digital cameras, online porn and strict child predation laws… so “schoolyard education” was potentially less harmful in the short term. What I am suggesting is that this may not be serious enough to warrant involving the government. Given that you are physically incapable of intervening, it is up to your wife to talk openly with your children about these sorts of issues and equip them with the strength of character they will require to make judgements about what is right and wrong in their own lives… now and going forward.

I know Japanese culture… if your wife’s indirectness and sense of shame make her incapable of doing this, then she is unfit to be an effective parent in this context and perhaps you should look into taking custody of the children yourself.

[HitmanParticipant]

hang in there uchi ! you just got all the good advice you need ..tough situation , but time will pass and you acting apon it now will be very effective in the fact IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT !

[Author]

Posts