I Need A Punch In The Face

[MACHOParticipant]

ModR8 wrote:

@macho Thanks bro. Right now I’m reading up and lmao!!! I’ve got some stories. For instance, the mother of two I dated for six years that ended with her getting arrested for assault against me. I watched the cops cuff her and drag her away – then baby sat while I packed my gear. Why did I let things slide so much? I was red pilled years ago.

I hope to see new topics from you buddy. Sounds like real entertainment, Lord knows we always need some on here.

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[Anonymous 38]

Live by the sword, die by the sword. Carry on like this and spend the rest of your life in pain, or free yourself from ignorance and take the red pill.

[GregB0Participant]

Anonymous wrote:

I don’t think you’re a troll.

Let me know when you make up your mind Matrix. I am stuck at work, but in a non work location and spent some time going through this thread.

This thread has been part docudrama, part psychodrama, part melodrama, as well as a tragedy.

Is the tragedy his life to date and his dreams of having a family, or is it that this reads more like a soap opera than real life.

Hopefully he will continue to post and forum members will continue to engage. Time will be the determining arbitrator as to how we remember him, as he remembers us.

MACHO wrote:

I hope to see new topics from you buddy. Sounds like real entertainment, Lord knows we always need some on here.

Check Macho. This had more moving parts than a Carmen Miranda movie.

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

[ModR8Participant 89]

GregB0 wrote:

Is the tragedy his life to date and his dreams of having a family, or is it that this reads more like a soap opera than real life.

I started an update last night, realized it was more a journal entry, pictured @oldbill ripping me some more new ones, and aborted. I wrote because of what @mgtow_taoist last said.

Anonymous wrote:

Live by the sword, die by the sword.

What I said last night, then deleted, is below. Rip away.

What I realized is that I’m a Chadoholic and using this to get attention the same as a woman wants it from men. Not cool to some of you. I should be sharing tales of sovereignty and giving high fives. I game the system to get female attention worse than woman game for male attention. Which is why some of you thought I was an infiltrator. I sound like a woman.

By Sunday I had deleted almost all of the dating apps except Zoosk. Like the last Kamikazee I started chatting women up, giving zero f~~~s about what I was saying, dropping all the cheezy lines inspired by Cap’s great “research” on online dating.

The response was 100%. I have First Coffee tomorrow afternoon with an 8/10 Asian 45 year old Yoga & Fitness trainer.

Oh, and that slim Kim Kardashian from eHarmony… had her number from before I introduced myself. We TALK on the phone every day. We just can’t decide who’s flying to who’s city for “coffee”.

WTF am I doing?

The answer is somewhere in the steaming pile of s~~~ I wrote last night. Here.

It was a painful weekend reading everyone’s replies. The no-nonsense language is so different than the blue pill world, where the norm is to foster fantasy in order to further aims other than my own. But I’m a quick learner.

I figured out what the man-baby-rabies was all about. The businessman in me was quantifying my dissatisfaction in my marriage. It goes like this. After 20 years I’ve made her rich and given her everything she wants. As we have aged, I’m still going strong while she’s gotten tired. She won’t dress up for dinner, she doesn’t want to go on adventures, she wants to take care of mom (which requires even more of my resources). I’ve been calling out her behavior as “pre-retirement mode”. Bottom line is I feel like I’ve lost the partner I once had, and not getting the strokes I still want. The MGTOW way, I think, would be to change my expectations and not want the strokes from her, but instead get them from another passion, a passion that only requires me. However, still being blue pilled and defining myself by my marriage, I concocted a value system based on what each of us has brought to the table. I brought wealth and security, while she brought nothing tangible. I’ve been asking myself what tangibles she could have brought to the table, and that would have been children and the labor to raise them. So I was obsessed with having a child, as if that would balance the sheets. Insane.

The co-ed tenant in my story only perpetuated my insanity. An established luke-warm affair with a fertile women already under my roof to make me kids seemed perfectly logical to my irrational state of mind. You all have no idea how far down that road I had already traveled. I got my wife to agree to a civil Italian Divorce with detailed plans on how to set up Archie Bunker 2017 as a way for her to make up for her lack of tangibles and going into pre-retirement mode. Just add young honey. I had drunk texted my tenant and basically proposed. That she didn’t file a restraining order against me in my own house is either 1) more dumb luck 2) a drunk text pass 3) she’s considering it. She texted me today asking for a ride for her and her dog to the two week post operation check up. Following other’s advice to relax and not do anything rash, I said yes instead of saying “Nope, I’m going my own way, you do the same”.

Jesus, reading the above I realize I’m still being a Chad with regard to my tenant.

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

Prioritize yourself instead of seeking validation from women or other people…Its a never fulfilling cycle that leaves one unfulfilled…Your life, your happiness before others…

Perhaps you might be used to being admired by the guys with tales of conquest or prowess or wealth but here it amounts to little…Going MGTOW, a lot of us still go after those things but our priority is to have peace and freedom…By browsing through the forums you will see the stories of the brothers here and how we now guard our peace and freedom fiercely…Welcome and continue taking the red pill so you may find your own way…

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[MACHOParticipant]

GregB0 wrote:

Check Macho. This had more moving parts than a Carmen Miranda movie

Greg.. Macho has got a very good idea where this is going. Just sit back and enjoy the show Bro cause this promises to get very interesting!

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[MadBikerParticipant 169]

ModR8, Troll, Tuna, or whatever you may or may not be, if you take time to read what a lot of guys have posted here about their experiences you may get a clue as to what ails you. You already have an inkling when speaking about your wife you said “She married me because I’m a good resource”.

Your account may or may not be true, I leave that to others to judge, however the moral of your story is one that constantly appears in this forum and elsewhere.

Women are attracted to you by the ammount of money you have. It’s just you don’ want to admit it.

Despite what you may think, it’s not your looks, wit, or charm they find attractive, it’s the size of your wallet. I mean, really, a 25 year old drop dead student has the hots for a 50 year old cripple? or could it be she has the hots for your cash!

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

MadBiker wrote:

Despite what you may think, it’s not your looks, wit, or charm they find attractive, it’s the size of your wallet. I mean, really, a 25 year old drop dead student has the hots for a 50 year old cripple? or could it be she has the hots for your cash!

People don’t like facing unpleasant truths.

The worst person to lie to is yourself.

He needs to table his ego, or at least the part of it that needs stroking by a female.

May-December romances. LOL.

Q: Know what May sees in December?
A: Christmas.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[OldBillParticipant]

ModR8 wrote:

WTF am I doing?

You tell us.

In every soap opera episode you post, you fret about how your thoughts and actions are setting you up for inevitable failure and risking everything you’ve built.

Then, in every soap opera episode you post, you go right on thinking and behaving in the same manner you bemoan.

So tell us, what the f~~~ are you doing? Except asking for a pity party that is.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[MGTOW KnightParticipant 7477]

ModR8 wrote:

No, I believe I’m a good person with exceptional genes that has a right to carry on. But more than that, I believe a child should be brought into this world and raised by the biological parents. Anything less is a lie.

Hey man you have a powerful testimony, but I gotta call you out on this one.

I’m a 25 year old MGTOW who was adopted. My biological parents were absolute pieces of s~~~. They abused me and my two younger sisters, and they have essentially destroyed both of them. They will never be able to live normal lives, and it is a miracle that I’m even alive today. Let me assure you, I didn’t come out of the hellhole un-phased. It still f~~~s with me to this day. God, put me through all that bulls~~~ because he knew I could handle it. Personally, if left to my own devices, I would either be in jail or dead. No doubt in my mind. It is he, who truly allowed me to prevail from the destruction.

The fact that they birthed me: doesn’t change their lack of morality/empathy, doesn’t remove the pain I feel everyday, and doesn’t change the fact that my sisters are now complete strangers to me. I’m the offspring of genetic failures, yet somehow I managed to come out on top. It is by the grace of God, I’m alive.

TBH, I still have unresolved bitterness for what happened to my sisters. The biggest red pill of all is realizing that life is just unfair. That life will squash you, and make you feel like an insignificant bug. However, I have come to learn that I can’t let things that are beyond my control dictate my personal happiness. Only YOU can determine your happiness.

ModR8 wrote:

I love the notion that at 52 I can so absolutely attract a 23 year old. I love what it does for my ego.

You stated that you have gained humility from your two accidents. However, based this statement it seems you haven’t shed that ego yet. Where did it go? Humility vanished from one girl, seriously? You need to humble yourself, yet again. I used to think I was the hot s~~~ as a track athlete in college, but I realized I was chasing girls & validation from vapid ass people. People who really don’t give a f~~~ about me.

Where are all those people now?

Nowhere to be found. Just a bunch of fake ass f~~~ wits.

ModR8 wrote:

Did you ever have a burning need to be a dad, and how did you come to peace with giving that up?

Yes every single day…

I want to be the father I never had. I’ve seen first hand what happens to children who don’t have a father figure in their life. They become thugs, and criminals. I know, since I was headed down that exact path before I was saved. It breaks my heart to realize that their are children who live experiences similar to what I had to go through. The system destroys children, children who desperately want to be loved. That is what I was missing for 13 years of my live.

I think you know what you need to do, but I figured I would put my 2 cents in. Stay humble, and pursue your endeavors. I think you need to reconsider adoption as their are children who need to be loved. I also, think you should stick around and listen to what others here have to say. This place is a true sanctuary. I keeps me sane in a world inundated with so much superficiality and narcissism.

Make sure you always come here for a daily dose of Red Pill, and welcome!

Fuck bitches... literally and metaphorically

[ModR8Participant 89]

MGTOW Knight wrote:

Make sure you always come here for a daily dose of Red Pill, and welcome!

I think I’ve always been MGTOW or don’t need MGTOW and shouldn’t be on this site. First, my way of communicating is like a foreign language here. Second, my circumstances have no equal and I can’t relate. Third, my environment doesn’t fit the standard model. I’ll explain. Tell me if I’m wrong.

My way of communicating is like a foreign language.

I’ve been here before and every available hour since my introduction, reading as much as I can stomach. There are so many tragic stories that remind me of my dad when my mom divorced him. He was an anal retentive cave man who couldn’t think outside his t-square military box. He treated tools better than the people he loved. He loved my mom and us, but never put the effort or creativity into expressing that other than buying us things. His attitude was why should I? Buying and providing was enough.

My dad lived in this house the last 17 years of his life, longer than he was married to my mom. He lived on the second floor for a while and then the apartment I built on the ground floor where my coed tenant lives now. My dad and I were like a married couple, always arguing about s~~~. He thought I was stupid for wanting to build an elevator, weight room, and home-theater. I thought he was stupid for getting in the way of cool things that would raise the value of the property. He only thought low economy. He didn’t see the value in making things beautiful. We’d go at it for HOURS, with me trying to get through his fear of art and romance. I called it a fear of intimacy, because the projects were just activities to deepen our bond. What I really wanted was for him to tell me I was doing a good job with the upgrades. He died not having once visited the 3rd and 4th floors, where the weight room and home theater is, where I detailed everything in solid bamboo. He never once in those 17 years said, “Good job, son.” He had withdrawn from the family the last few years of his life, becoming just a tenant who didn’t have to pay rent or engage the rest of us. I didn’t break my agreement that he could retire at home in comfort in exchange for the initial cash investment to buy property, but I was unhappy with my relationship with him and couldn’t make it better.

In this part of my story I was playing the role of a woman. I appreciated his financial investment, but the connection wasn’t supposed to end there. I wanted to get through to him, to change him, to see him grow. To him I was acting like an ungrateful bitch, nagging for something intangible he had no skills or desire to provide. At one point he actually contacted an attorney about filing a suit against me for elder abuse. Is that not like a failing marriage? He actually made the FIRST CALL. It went no further than one call, but he threatened me with it thereafter. It showed me that the man simply couldn’t communicate despite how much he professed he would. It showed me he was willing to pull the pin any moment, the same way so many of you have called Troll and Tuna Alert.

My circumstances have no equal and I can’t relate.

I got home from my Zoosk coffee date tonight and texted my wife that I needed to switch laundry that I had started before I had left. I don’t have the stacked washer/dryer setup on the second floor yet, so for now I have to use the main laundry room on her floor. I stepped out of the elevator and she’s waiting for me with this really pensive look. I’m thinking how the hell does she know where I’ve been? Then she laughs and asks if she can I tell you something really funny. Uh, sure.

She spoke with our trust attorney today and explained our Italian Divorce. Since it’s civil, amicable, whatever you want to call it, the trust attorney says he can represent both of us in splitting the trust into two. All he wants is a divorce decree that clearly spells out the asset agreements so that they can be valid instruments in the new trusts. Are we using attorneys? No. But we both want to consult one attorney to review the decree we’ve drafted ourselves. We’re able to draft the decree because, get this, my wife was in family law when I met her and she knows this s~~~. She’s well aware of the devastation that can ensue if we go greedy on each other. Anyway, our trust attorney says he knows a family lawyer who does decree consultations. This attorney is none other than the guy she was dating when I met her. I know you’re all calling bulls~~~ right now, but it’s the f~~~ing truth. We were both laughing our asses off, and that felt sweet. We’re not sure if her ex will give us the consult, but again, if my wife and I aren’t in any disagreement, it shouldn’t be a problem.

My wife went on to say how she felt like she was a piece in a kaleidoscope, swirling around and mixing with all the other pieces. She’s not happy because I’m the guy holding the kaleidoscope and doing the twisting. She wants out of the kaleidoscope, and the divorce is her way out. I teased my wife by saying she wanted this divorce so she can get back with your ex. She didn’t bite. It remains to be seen, but isn’t my wife NAWALT? Might I come out unscathed?

My environment doesn’t fit the standard model

The Zoosk date. After reading so much of this site, I didn’t want to go. I’ve let ya’ll talk me into tiredness. The dire predictions wore me down. I was thirty minutes late, proof I wasn’t into it. I had hoped she wasn’t there and I could just go home and take a late nap. But she had waited, and she was mad as hell just by her expression. Her coffee was already half gone. She said before any hellos, “Go get you coffee.” That’s not a typo. It was broken English. What was I f~~~ing with here? So I skulked to the counter and ordered a basic brew, only to have the teenage girl inform me to order THAT (sneer) from the other guy. He had to grow the beans or something because he took for-ever. By the time I sat down her cup was empty and she was madder THAN hell. She chewed me out for two minutes. “What, you drive cross island? You get loss?” I didn’t care because I could barely understand what the f~~~ she was saying, her English was so bad. She calmed down pretty quick and said, “How you, ok?” I just grinned because with her face not all twisted in knots, she was super cute. I asked where she was from. Shanga. Excuse me? Shang-HAI.

Let me fast forward because the date lasted over two hours, most of it spent zipping around in my R8 stopping at various beach lookouts to talk about ourselves. In between those stops she was yelling “Hallo” out the open window to pedestrians and woo-hooing whenever I hit the gas. I’m going to omit the details of who she is because, well, outing. But she’s packing a green card, wealthy, stealthy against any radar frequency, cultureless, and both crass and classy in the span of half a cup of coffee. Wall? What wall? I have her picture and I wish I could post it. Can I PM it to someone for vouching? Where’s the Chinese MGTOW brothers on professional female Chinese athletes? This date could have gone ANYWHERE. She wanted to go blow two grand at an illegal baccarat house. I ended it with a 90mph freeway ride back to her apartment. We hugged goodnight outside and agreed to do it again. And we will if I choose to. This random date tonight with a woman who defies all stereotypes has upended the Earth’s poles. I haven’t lost my compass. I tossed it on the ground and stomped on it.

Back to my opening claim that I probably don’t belong in MGTOW. I can’t reconcile what I’ve read. Forecasts of Armageddon make no sense. The only thing that makes sense is that I’m still racing my proverbial motorcycle and about to crash. It doesn’t take a woman to do that.

The focus of MGTOW is avoiding the harm women can do to men when men forfeit their sovereignty. I don’t think I have forfeited or seeking to forfeit my sovereignty. I’d enjoy a woman to share it with, cuz, simply put, I’m not gay. Is that a foolish quest for a “unicorn”? Have I always had a unicorn in my wife? Did I falsely fall for a young women only because of my life’s freaky abnormalities?

Every time I’m goaded into responding I wind up with more questions than answers. I want a conclusion. I thought becoming a father was the conclusion. I now know I can choose any conclusion I wish. But since joining this community of absolutists, my sense is that the story is just beginning.

Oh, by the way, I met the most wonderful girl today. A REAL bitch. I think I’ll take her home next week.

[Anonymous 13]

Oh man, another essay where you are here, there, and off on some fantasy place else.

That girl you mentioned sees only a fun wallet, it’s got nowhere to go, no matter how much you feel you’re ‘escaping’ and she’s a breath of fresh air.

The dog, to me, is the only real part of all this.

I’m sorry bro, I just see a mess.

I wish you well, but oh man, your life 🤔

[ModR8Participant 89]

Nah Matrix, you’re hear because you fail to go b~~~~ deep on life. You may be out of the Matrix, but you’re not crushing it with the bros in the Nebuchadnezzar. You’re wandering in the desert of the real.

[Anonymous 13]

ModR8 wrote:

Nah Matrix, you’re hear because you fail to go b~~~~ deep on life. You may be out of the Matrix, but you’re not crushing it with the bros in the Nebuchadnezzar. You’re wandering in the desert of the real.

I went b~~~~ deep into life, I had fast cars and a beautiful house and still got very fast bikes.

The wife and the state STOLE everything from me.

Excuse me if I’m staying cautious from here on out.

As in,

NEVER AGAIN.

[Anonymous 42]

ModR8 wrote:

Nah Matrix, you’re hear because you fail to go b~~~~ deep on life. You may be out of the Matrix, but you’re not crushing it with the bros in the Nebuchadnezzar. You’re wandering in the desert of the real.

F~~~ you!

Matrix has more wisdom in his fingernail than you’ll ever have!

[ModR8Participant 89]

@matrix did you write an introduction? I can’t find it.

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

ModR8 wrote:

@matrix did you write an introduction? I can’t find it.

IF you had been here more than a few days you would know exactly who he is, and how much he has contributed to this site…

[Anonymous 13]

ModR8 wrote:

@matrix did you write an introduction? I can’t find it.

Yes under another name.

I’m older than you for what it’s worth.

[ModR8Participant 89]

Anonymous wrote:

F~~~ you!

Matrix has more wisdom in his fingernail than you’ll ever have!

Is that all you got? No wonder you got punted from the system. SPEAK brother. Use some words. Translate that anger from grunts to wisdom of your own.

[Anonymous 13]

I had everything bro, EVERYTHING.

Wealth, a nice house, fast cars and bikes and a family.

One single 911 call ended it.

Never get complacent and never be in a position where a woman can end your life with a phone call.

It sounds unreal,

But it happened to me and countless others.

I would never have believed what I was put through was possible.

Jump back b~~~~ deep into the Matrix?

I’ll go down in a HAIL OF BULLETS FIRST.

[Author]

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