I need a little affirmation while I preach to the choir

[Remove me!Participant]

Ok brothers,
I had no idea what MGTOW was last year, and I thought I was strange to believe what I believe about marraige and women. But I found this place and found I’m not the only one.
However, last year, I dated a woman for awhile. She was the first person I dated since my divorce that had a good head on her shoulders, she would insist she pays for some of our dates (I didn’t ask her), never married, no kids, and beautiful. I thought to myself, “I could marry this woman”. I probably would have. But one day, when we were driving, she mentioned something about having kids. That was it for me. I told her I will not be having anymore kids, seeing I have a crazy ex wife and trying to raise a child with her. She was crushed, but stated she wanted to be a mom. If I were to marry her, besides her making a lot of money in her profession, I would have insisted on a prenup. But a divorce without children is not as bad as the custody WAR I went through years ago.

We broke up, but remained friends. I got a lot of heat from people saying she was so great, just give her a kid. That was one thing I can not, and will not budge from. I WILL NOT PUT MYSELF IN THE POSITION TO BE IN A CUSTODY BATTLE EVER AGAIN! But I held up hope she would change her mind about wanting kids.

But this weekend I found she posted a pic of her with her new fiancé. I know I made the right decision, but part of my brain is telling me I made a big mistake….

Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.

[hmskl’dParticipant 6406]

All I can do is tell of my own family experiences since I’ve never been married.
My story is a little off topic .. but it might help in a ’round about way.’ My sister is also in a profession and is now pushing fifty. She’s been married and divorced three times. Her divorces were all messy .. one especially where I was actually served papers to appear in court and be questioned by her then husband’s lawyers .. trying to find some inconsistencies or dirt. The divorce was occurring in Miami and I lived near Canada.
I would do anything for my sister since she is family .. having said that, I wouldn’t wish her ‘relationship wise’ on any guy, ever .. anywhere. She’s had about five engagements and married the three. She’s lived with about seven other guys. She has two grown kids.
Yesterday she visited me and during the visit she said .. I kind of have a new boyfriend .. I’d like you to meet him sometime. I came right out and told her “I don’t really want to meet any more of your boyfriends.” She left in a little bit of a huff. Things will eventually be pretty much ok again between me and her .. but I do get sick and tired of her lifestyle. It’s been going on since she was in high school. Best of luck.

[Sparticus66Participant 508]

I think it’s fair enough if she wants a child and therefore moves on. But it’s also very fair enough that you did not want that.
As for her new fiance, within a day of having that child, he will be consigned to the bottom of her list until she wants another child. Then he will be popular again until she’s pregnant. You’ve missed out on that experience. Well done you, I say

[RemovedParticipant 4676]

You made a good choice. She had that guy lined up the whole time, and others too. You did the right thing, by not being her slave. You will live a happier and much more free life in turn.

[Anonymous 54]

At least she was honest and up front with you about it.
She didnt trick you into it.

You got to give credit where credit is due.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

So you broke up and she’s marrying the very next guy…… KM WHERE ARE YOU????

Based only on how fast she got engaged to the next guy, I’m going to say you dodged a bullet. It sounds like you checked all of her boxes, except the one. So she moved on to a guy who checked more boxes than you. Less than a year and they are engaged. Sounds a little fast doesn’t it? Sounds like maybe she has baby rabies and was looking for the first guy to get on his knees doesn’t it?

Like the other guys said, she had her deal breaker and you had yours. You were incompatible on THE biggest issue. Nothing wrong with that, and good on you for sticking to your guns.

Order the good wine

[GnosticParticipant 2491]

Prenup is worthless, haven’t you see how many of our brothers say prenup is thrown out by the judge?

How long did she found a fiancee since you broke up?
Is she really a woman with a good head on her shoulders if she commit to marry a man who she only known for months?
It is more likely she is seeing him behind your back.

Its not your wife / girlfriend, it is just your turn.

It is not your brain that tell you that you make a mistake, it is your dick.

Unmarried you can enjoy the company of many women who are beautiful like her and upgrade to a newer model anytime if the women grow old and fat. The women will be on their best behavior and you can ditch them when they show their true colors. You cannot escape a wife drama. How can your logical brain tell you a wife is superior?

There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.

[Anonymous 43]

woot

s~~~ vortex averted!

I didn’t want kids, got tricked into making one, then coerced into making another one.

s~~~ I didn’t want them in the first place, now I would do anything to get them back in my life. wtf is wrong with me.

[Remove me!Participant]

Gnostic wrote:

Prenup is worthless, haven’t you see how many of our brothers say prenup is thrown out by the judge?

How long did she found a fiancee since you broke up?
Is she really a woman with a good head on her shoulders if she commit to marry a man who she only known for months?
It is more likely she is seeing him behind your back.

Its not your wife / girlfriend, it is just your turn.

It is not your brain that tell you that you make a mistake, it is your dick.

Unmarried you can enjoy the company of many women who are beautiful like her and upgrade to a newer model anytime if the women grow old and fat. The women will be on their best behavior and you can ditch them when they show their true colors. You cannot escape a wife drama. How can your logical brain tell you a wife is superior?

Thanks! All you guys made me feel better! But gnostic showed me what I would be missing. I’d probably be married by now with a bun in the oven. Not willing to bend on this issue!

Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.

[WallyParticipant]

You did the right thing breaking up, you both wanted different things. I had a similar experience dated a woman with no kids, she wanted them I didn’t,I didn’t feel it was right to stand in her way of having them and moved on, no regrets.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Sparticus66 wrote:

I think it’s fair enough if she wants a child and therefore moves on

Agree with all points above.

Remove me! wrote:

part of my brain is telling me I made a big mistake….

Aren’t we all socialized to think that?
Don’t women work their asses off to contribute to it too?

“You’ll NEVER do better than me.”

Surprisingly often, NO woman is still better than she.

Remove me! wrote:

Not willing to bend on this issue!

You stayed your own ground.
She made a choice to change situations and move on.

( I wouldn’t hold it against a woman either )

But if you had not known (or met) her , another child would not be a variable or even a thought in your mind. It’s not your choice, so it can’t be your mistake. This is her thing.

Remove me! wrote:

I got a lot of heat from people saying she was so great, just give her a kid.

Interesting way to put it: Give HER a kid.

If it’s not even “ours” . . . . why give HER a kid?

“MY ring. MY wedding. MY dress. MY cake. MY special day. . . . MY kid”.

Seems you already know you did the right thing for whatever reason.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 18]

Remove me! wrote:

But this weekend I found she posted a pic of her with her new fiancé. I know I made the right decision, but part of my brain is telling me I made a big mistake….

That part is telling you the truth. But somewhere evolutionary we are hijacked to breed, breed, and breed some more.

Given you do not want kids in first place, all the more reasons for you to have an internal dialogue with yourself.

All her niceties, her demeanour, almost everything about her is about – having a kid.

Remain her friend and watch her progress over the years. Some red pill lessons are slow to come but burn deep.

[joetechParticipant]

For you being “the man of her dreams” she sure found a replacement awfully quick, don’t you think? As for making a mistake, I’ll bet that in the next ten, maybe five years she’ll get divorced and have full custody. Then ask yourself if you made the mistake or if the mistake was made by the guy she roped into marrying her. Once they have the baby they all know the cash and prizes come next. Then, it’s off to the c~~~ carousel. She’ll probably try to hook back up with you after her divorce and tell you what a mistake SHE made. Believe me, she had this all planned out. You didn’t dodge a bullet…you dodged a nuclear bomb.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[narrow road travelerParticipant 1680]

I think you made the right choice. Good people have different goals in life. If the two goals don’t match up, rancor will follow.

Your standards remain intact. You can be sincerely happy for this woman, which is rare in this world.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. --Sun Tsu

[OgreParticipant 5863]

Even if she was virgin unicorn your aspirations were different, and absolutely incompatible.

You were also at different stages of life. You’ve been burnt and hurt by losing your child in your presence everyday, and she’s at the stage where it’s all she thinks about.

If she was one in a million there are 3,000 out there that are as good or a better fit to have in your life, but the right one won’t ever demand kids or marriage from a man who doesn’t want either.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[No CountryParticipant 759]

You did the right thing man. You have to be true to yourself.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

If you truly don’t want more kids, get a vasectomy and advertise it.

I did the online dating thing even, and point blank stated that I will never get married again. I still managed to find 2 girlfriends, one of which I broke up with after 3 months.

About a month into dating both of them, I got a vasectomy. One of the smartest life choices I’ve ever made. If I were single again, I’d advertise both being vasectomied AND that I will never marry.

In my online profile, I dropped a B-52 load of red pills, and surprisingly got a lot of bites. The hilarity is any fake unicorn (all unicorns are fake) that dates me will still never get me to marry her.

Most women with a guy have a backup guy in mind. Yours probably did. She was on her best behavior, hoping she could convince you to marry her and give her babies and more resources. Her good points was being good looking and upfront about such.

But in the end analysis, you would be trapped in a marriage with a kid, and hoping-against-hope she doesn’t act on the incentives Western society provides women to act badly.

It isn’t about a woman being good or bad, it is about the s~~~ty reality of the marriage “contract” and how you have to hope that an otherwise “good” woman won’t give in to the temptation to turn to the dark side. Even King Solomon gave into temptation. So did David (Bathsheba and Uriah).

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

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