I made almost every mistake possible… and then I invented new ones.

[Phoenix RisingParticipant 18]

There is no fool like an old fool was as far removed from me as

"I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell." - Harry S Truman

[MACHOParticipant]

Phoenix Rising wrote:

There is no fool like an old fool was as far removed from me as

Please tell us more about yourself Phoenix Rising.

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[Phoenix RisingParticipant 18]

I lost myself to find her. When I had given every way possible, she of course decides this is a good time to get out of Dodge. I had set myself up for the greatest fall and then I climbed just a little higher. I stopped talking to the friendly exes, just one of the ways to keep her. Keep her, I never had her. She was everything I thought I wanted but I kept making excuses for her lack of reciprocity. How could she not fall for me I was doing everything a woman wants, her words. Dates were productions – the best wasn’t enough. She was blessed financially, all she had to do was ask. She was very reluctant, at first but then…there it was that sense of entitlement. She would repeat what a good woman, mother, daughter and friend she was but she could Never come through for me. I doubled down, giving her more she would have to come around. She said no one would ever love her as much as I did, but it was not enough.

"I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell." - Harry S Truman

[MACHOParticipant]

Welcome to the forums Phoenix Rising ?

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[Anonymous 0]

Hello And welcome sir,

What were the new ones you invented?

[Phoenix RisingParticipant 18]

Thanks, I hope my contributions help others.

"I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell." - Harry S Truman

[Phoenix RisingParticipant 18]

Having been married for almost 30 years has my mind set at a high level of what is expected from the man in a relationship. Having a generous nature added to my folly. Things I did came from a belief that I was taking care of my future wife and life partner. Having been married for so long made me naive to the evils that I know now to be commonplace.
Her single-minded nature to take care of things herself often caused more problems. For purposes of this discussion, I’ll refer to her as M.
M had a hidden self-destructive nature that revealed itself in one way as she enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine a night but was made evident when she would black out. Her lack of awareness of the severity of this issue was compounded by her denial of any thing wrong. Walking her through and out of this dark valley was truly hurtful to my soul.
Her boss / landlord / BFF was a evil seductress that used men like dirty tissues. No, she thought more of dirty tissues. She would constantly urge M continue to join her in a non-stop party. My epic battles to reveal that witch’s true nature culminated in my having to graphically display her as the person behind the scenes in a sick and twisted plot to get M to meet and mate with a rich, philanthropist doctor that traveled the world healing needy children. That’s right, her best friend was catfishing her.

"I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell." - Harry S Truman

[Phoenix RisingParticipant 18]

Her friends were the greatest collection of sideshow freaks I ever encountered. One of her best buds was the little gay leach that tried to end his problems while in a drunken rage, with M in the car. When I confronted this wretch and his boyfriend for putting her life in danger, she was enraged that I said anything to him. There was the series of “business contacts” that were, in fact, cons. Both men and women that wanted to take advantage of her financially. There was the car dealer that tried to take her with a deal for the ages. “But he’s always taken care of my family.” I told her, “Don’t scratch it, it’s going back in the morning.”

Then there was the time that with a minimum of tech savvy, I proved that the highly politically connected entrepreneur we had spent the evening with at the latest incarnation of EST was a convicted con that had pleaded guilty to fraud just weeks ago and had other charges pending.
While I was always leery of the many male friends she gave time to, “Most of my friends are guys”. I was also focused on the females that were either outright lesbians or just doing a poor job hiding it. There was the little practitioner of the black arts that couldn’t hold her liquor and lost it when I told M that after a night of hard drinking we were going to bed and her buddy was going to sleep it off on the couch.
M’s kids (2) were grown and yet still lived with her. Her son lived with her with his girlfriend, in tow, She was a spiritually dark creature that i found too frequently was focusing too intently in on me. More often than not, I was the sole voice of reason that restored peace among her and her kids. The daughter was constantly causing havoc and I had to bail her out financially on a couple of “please don’t tell my mom” fiascoes.
Money always was a problem for M. Against my advice, she invested in an REO that was to be her first home purchase. At crunchtime, this deal was about to blow up in her face at the 11th hour. I came through, at great personal costs (ei emotional, familial and financial) to rescue this damsel. This crisis was peaking when she was about to travel abroad, I wished her a safe and pleasant journey and reassured her that when she arrived and I would have this dragon slayed. As much as I was a man of my word she was incapable of providing the smallest detail of courtesy toward me.

"I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell." - Harry S Truman

[Phoenix RisingParticipant 18]

The coup de gras of this soap opera of horrors occurred early on in the relationship, when she confided that her parents had split up. “Her father was her world” and he was distraught after his wife of 50 years walked out. She was trying to console him but was unable to make any progress. While on the phone with her, while she at his house, I heard her daughter scream in the background. M’s daughter had found Grandpa tying a belt around his neck. This proud man was pushed too far. I told M she had to decide whether to call the police and further escalate this scene or allow me to intervene. She chose the latter. I prayed as I sped toward his home. I told M and her daughter to pray and I confronted this stranger with God’s Word. He was taken aback by my boldness but responded to prayer and genuine concern from this new friend. I stayed until morning and comforted him. He came to my home the next day. I put together an action plan, had him agree to basic safety terms and helped him toward finding hope. His wife returned home in a few weeks to find a stronger and healthier man. Eventually, they asked me to counsel them together. They reconciled and while being far from perfect each of them recognizes my contributions to their relationship.
In healthy relationships, positive contributions are made when circumstances, skills and abilities meet with the will to help and openness be helped. What completes this “cycle of love” is an equal effort of reciprocity by the receiver to thank the giver. This never happened. It hurts, not daily but rather moment by moment. Shattered dreams and fractured lives. It sucks.

"I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell." - Harry S Truman

[DilbertParticipant 281]

Wow, this was an easy one..
I’m calling tuna.

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[DilbertParticipant 281]

There are so many female patterns to your thinking and writing.

Large parts of your intro come across as badly written “soap opera” (as you assert).

No one was responding so you kept posting. Look at me, look at me…

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[Phoenix RisingParticipant 18]

Kiss my ass. It wasn’t for you move on Dilbert. I’m not here to entertain you ass bite. Stay clear of me.

"I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell." - Harry S Truman

[DilbertParticipant 281]

Please don’t take things personally, they’re not meant that way. It’s actually more about vigilance in guarding this sanctuary than about you. If I eventually prove to be wrong, I’ll be the first to apologize and welcome you wholeheartedly.

I raised what I thought were legitimate concerns. I could go the next step and quote parts of your posts to support my point but really don’t want to expend the effort at this time.

When new to any community, establishing trust, and finding mutuality and appropriateness is very important. For this one it is critical.

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Dilbert wrote:

Wow, this was an easy one..

No man, there are men out there who literally fall over themselves to make everything exactly a woman SAYS wants it, and it’s STILL “not enough”. Phoenix is just coming to terms with the extreme bulls~~~ of it all.

Phoenix Rising wrote:

Kiss my ass. I’m not here to entertain you ass bite. Stay clear of me.

Can you bottle that?

That’s how to need to talk to any bitch who says you didn’t do enough for her. In fact that should be your first reaction to any woman who wants ANYTHING from you at all.

“NO”.

Make it your new favorite word.

Why not take that “I’m not here to entertain you ass bite” attitude and serve it up to your woman with chips.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

Keymaster wrote:

“NO”.
Make it your new favorite word

Already was. Wallet closed!

[DilbertParticipant 281]

Well, you are the Keymaster and have been involved with far more of these than me so I’ll trust your judgement.

Maybe as another poster said millennials tend to come across this way and slowly change as the red pills have their effect.

Welcome Phoenix, your story sounds complicated. Hope this site brings you closer to self-actualization.

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[Author]

Posts