I Have Crossed the Rubicon

[CatoParticipant 65]

Dear MGTOW Community,

I am here to report that I now count myself among your ranks. I am in the process of divorcing my wife of 30 years. As you might imagine the story is a long one. But viewed from the MGTOW perspective, not terribly complicated. This past Saturday was the breaking point. Not that it was so much out of the ordinary – but indeed because it was so so awfully ordinary. The insult this time was that I have a “small and immature mind.” Mild in comparison to countless others I have endured.  What are my crimes to deserve this treatment?  Failure to make her life “meaningful” and “filled with happiness.”  Failure to cater to her whims and expectations and soothe her delicate feelings whenever she wants attention, entertainment, or feels diminished. In other words, I have failed in my role as “hero,” “knight in shining armor,” or, if you prefer, her personal lord and savior. All of this came to light over the past 6 months or so when the last kid had left home. She suddenly realized that she had paid no attention whatsoever to her hopes and dreams, in spite of my constant attempts over the years to encourage her in this respect. I can’t tell you the number of times I have encouraged her to quit her stressful job in finance, sell the house, and downsize. Obviously she never took me up on it. (Hey let’s have less stuff and live modestly and pursue our passions! said no woman ever).  I am glad it came to light because it explains a lot, especially the constant criticism, negativity, complaints, demands, orders, and insults directed at me. What makes it worse is that, for our entire lives, she has made upwards of 50% more than I do, simply because of the nature of our careers (I am a college professor, and she knew that going in). I had no idea this fact alone could breed such contempt, disrespect, and downright hatred in a woman. The past 15-20 years have been miserable for me, but since I love my 2 kids I stuck it out and rationalized it all with a blue pill mangina mind-frame. And don’t get me started on the whole control thing – demands on my off time, crushing my life passions, withholding of sex and all form of affection, etc. this post is long enough. Down the road I will reveal the horror stories. For now suffice to to say that I cannot remember the last time that this woman voluntarily hugged or kissed me. (I s~~~ you not.)  Then I found about MGTOW. I couldn’t get enough of it. I knew instantly that one day MGTOW would be my fate. So please let me thank everyone on this site for their contributions. I am in my early 50’s but feel like my best years are now ahead of me. My sentence is over. And I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to all that have posted here and given me such courage, strength, and sanity. I have fully consumed the red pill, and there is no going back. I have crossed the Rubicon. Thank you MGTOWers for lighting the way. Thank you for helping me get my life back from the soul-sucking vampires that are Women. I am counting the days until my divorce is final. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Welcome Cato

Jesus man, you would do less time for murder. How the hell did you keep it together?

Thank goodness you made it.

Welcome brother. Take your time, we’re all here if/when you want a chat.

Things may feel rough with the red pill at first and your new life may take time to fit on you ….. but that’s where we can help a little.

Again …. welcome ☺

[CatoParticipant 65]

Really. It hardly seems like 30 yrs. I often wish she was fat. No, obese. That I would make it easier. Trouble was she’s hot and still is. So I bargained for all I could get. But I survived with ass on the side. And of course blue pill lies. That’s how. Not proud of it, but I know what divorce does to kids.

[CatoParticipant 65]

And thank you Iliveagain. I know the people here are my brothers.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Just know that there is life after the s~~~ …. a very good …. calm … peaceful life.

So now is your time. Dream time my friend. What you fancy?

Travel, move, learn, explore or a millions other things you might not have thought about yet.

Good times ahead

[CatoParticipant 65]

Restoring old Fords. And farming. Both of which my STBX considers inane and childish. F~~~ that, I’m GMOW.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

Welcome to the forums.  Hot women usually are the worst but not always.  I never been in a long term relationship because I wouldn’t take women’s s~~~.  I can tell you going your own way is 1000 better than ever I had than being in love.  It’s like a drug addict going off crack, it’s difficult at first but it’s so refreshing once you get over the hump.  Hell I practally don’t have sexual urges anymore so women who try to lure with sex will never work.

 

What’s funny I make below $35 000/year yet I’m happier than most women who makes $80 000.  You can’t find happiness externally and these women don’t get.  Cheer up brother have a few beer on us and remember we are always with you and on your side.  Bros before hoes!

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[KeymasterKeymaster]

@cato. Noticed the moment you joined, and welcome very much. Can see how you would arrive and fall back in your chair.

The first thing I immediately thought of was this:

Right off the page, I thought her husband is you. After 16 years of busting his ass to make her “happy” she goes on to Oprah (publicly) , and in a mile-long list of diatribes, she harps on in the most heinous rant about his shortcomings describing her quote: “period of high irritation lasting one or two decades”…. because he still greets her ungrateful ass with a SMILE in the morning.

If anyone thinks I have too-often referenced this example, they can read your personal testimony.
I swear, we finally found the husband. I always wanted to interview that guy.

Be sure to report when your divorce is final. Beers and shots are on me. A big welcome to MGTOW.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[VoidraitheParticipant 477]

Let me welcome you Cato. It must feel great knowing soon you will be able to do what you want without a cold, depressing and emotionally manipulative weight around your shoulders.

We have a manager around work that never married instead diving full on to his true love. Cars, specifically Fords. He’s restored a bunch, is an organizer of the local car show and even bought a Ford GT. I feel it’s no coincidence that he has all this AND never married.

[Anonymous 42]

Cato wrote:

courage, strength, and sanity

@cato, volumes are said in those three words!

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

Welcome Cato Freedom is priceless, Take it and run.The preservation of ones Sanity is what awakens a large percentage of M.G.T.O.W  men..Your mental health is most important..Enjoy the forum..

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[cicer0Participant 46]

I would hate to nitpick but Cato never crossed the Rubicon, Caesar did. However, Cato Uticensis did make Caesars life hell though. Or are you more a Cato the Censor kind of guy?

Regardless, welcome. Your a lot smarter than I am. I got married at 21 and was divorced by 28 and was stupid enough to do it all again at 35. At least you learnt from your mistakes.

[AntaresParticipant 208]

Cato wrote:

Failure to make her life “meaningful”

It’s your responsibility for making her life meaningful? That’s rich. I’m sure her misery in the years to come where she blames all her problems on you or someone else will be fairly entertaining.

Price is what you pay, value is what you get. -- Ben Graham

[treelville..miamiParticipant 893]

Welcome bro, I’m glad you’ve been freed from that. It’s disturbing how affectionate they can be at first then later on become ICE f~~~ing cold, reminds me vividly of my ex. Its almost as if they’re all engaged in some ruthless game of manipulation. I’ll never trust women again ever, even if she’s earned it, the education available here can be lifesaving to a man. Best of luck bro let us know how it goes.

"The wounds of honor are self inflicted"

[CatoParticipant 65]

@ cicero:

So you know a bit about ancient Rome. That is good. I didn’t mean to suggest that Cato did the crossing. I am the one who did the crossing – in the contemporary colloquial sense of “point of no return,” iacta alea est. My choice of the name Cato (as in the Younger, Marcus Porcius Cato Uticensis) had nothing to to with Caesar’s infamous movement on the Republic in 49 B.C. I chose the name because of Cato’s defense of republican Rome against the dictatorial aims of Julius – I similarly stand against the tyranny of marriage. By the way, Cato also divorced his wife Atilia for reasons not fully known, probably because his honor as a man prevented him from trashing her publicly.

[survivorParticipant 610]

Hello and welcome Cato:

Like you I also am a college teacher and attached to a positively awful woman who must be your ex’s clone. I know well also what divorce does to kids and have seen it all. But God is good and I manage in His grace. Mine does not work, except on sleeping and I also don’t remember the last time I voluntarily got a kiss or hug or even held hands for all that I do; don’t even mention sex. I am the sole bread winner and get nothing for my efforts and pain. I discovered the red pill about a year-and-a-half ago and have grown a lot. I’m sure your stories you mentioned would be helpful and inspiring and I look forward to hearing them.

"Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, You give love a bad name, I play my part and you play your game, You give love a bad name."--Bon Jovi

[Lazarus DreamingParticipant 26]

Cato,

Wow holy crap…I could not put up with that, you know how to stick it out.  Glad you are finally free…or quickly getting there.  In about 10 years it will hit her, who she was being and what it cost her, she may never admit it to anyone but she will grieve deeply, alone, during many late nights.

Thanks again for sharing your story!

 

 

[cyclesomaticParticipant 137]

Cato wrote:

@ cicero: By the way, Cato also divorced his wife Atilia for reasons not fully known, probably because his honor as a man prevented him from trashing her publicly.

 

Reasons may not be fully known to some but I would say with some certainty that Atilia was a c~~~.  Reason enough, really.

 

Welcome, Cato.  Some of us have gone our own way.   Some of us (like me) are still trying to figure out what that way is.  All of us share the common threads of manhood and the belief in being treated with respectful dignity even if we’re the only ones doing it.  Your life is finally just beginning.

[BDParticipant 1146]

Cato wrote:

What makes it worse is that, for our entire lives, she has made upwards of 50% more than I do, simply because of the nature of our careers

Cato wrote:

The insult this time was that I have a “small and immature mind.” Mild in comparison to countless others I have endured.  What are my crimes to deserve this treatment?

Welcome Cato!

I can’t imagine living with a woman that makes more, I have found more often than not, that problems with women usually come down to money.

Anytime a woman has spent anything on me I have had to hear about it forever, held over me like a guilt trip or something. Not worth it, I’m better off to get it for myself.

There are some statistics that prove divorce is much more likely when a woman make more than the man, because they are selfish and addicted to money.

Do us a favour and clean her out a bit will ya, it’d be nice to hear that a man got some money out of a woman for once.

And again, welcome, great group of guys here.

 

 

Because in order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.

[experiencedParticipant]

Cato, great to have you here. Better yet is that you didn’t stoop to her level when she started in with the ‘insult,’  ‘countless others’ henpeckery. You recognized it for what it was and chose the high road – well done!

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Author]

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