I hate pills , but I will choke on this red one to get it down

[WorldstarsParticipant 7]

Hello Gents,

I have been reading through this site everyday for nearly a week now. I would like to share my story as the stories of others have given me strength, and a valuable realization that I have been dodging for so long. That realization being that I have literally wasted nearly 8 years of my life and it’s time to move on.

Will make this as short but descriptive as possible. I married in 2008 I have 2 children which I love, boy 4 and a girl 3. I am military have been deployed to Iraq/Afgan 2 times each. I am nearly 31 years old this year and about to divorce in a week.

My soon to be ex wife decides to push having children on me not even a year into marriage, I told her no and explained that pursuing a career would be the most beneficial thing for us at the time. Turned out she got pregnant and had a miscarriage which I was completely there for her support and all. Shortly after that she says she is going back home for a bit and vanished for a solid week no phone calls nothing. Freaked out I drove up there and being a white knight mangina I was and made everything better and even had a child with her the second time around so she would not leave ( I know, dumbass me ). Year goes by and we have another child, my little girl which at the time I am working on my third deployment and was stressed to the max dealing with hyper vigilance and a panic attack disorder undiagnosed at the time. It was a very rough time in my life and i said some regretful things (I saw the adult in the children we were about to raise, but she only saw the baby) , but I was always there. Never strayed from my marriage, I was loyal to her. After my daughter was born and I deployed for the 4th time all s~~~ broke loose.

While deployed she dissapears yet again, around new years and I can put 2+2 together to figure out what was happening there. 2 weeks go by of me freaking the f~~~ out, which i may add IS.NOT.GOOD. in a deployed location. I was in a total state of panic and even tried to get sent home with no luck there. When i finally got a hold of her she starts talking about divorce and I have never been there for her. This was a complete mess trying to navigate on the other side of the world. When I finally got back guess who was not there when I got off the plane. Talk about a knife to the gut, that one hurt. When i got home the house was cleaned out with a single picture of my family on the wall. I salvaged what was left and got her to come back home again forgiving her for all this. Yeah i know ..

Every since that deployment I have dealt with her running back and forth from her mothers to here where I live, her hiding the phone, won’t release information about her phone when i ask for it. I caught her talking to another man on her IPAD and found pictures of him shirtless. After that she ran to her mothers again. A month later I surprisingly go visit her and my kids while I am on leave and who do I find , him , alone with my children while she was out shopping with her sister. I beat the s~~~ out of this guy right in front of my children, which took the joy out of the whole thing. It made me feel no better , both my hands were f~~~ed for 3 weeks after that and it solved nothing. There is so much more bulls~~~ that I have went through that I would create a novel in the process of explanation, so still trying to keep it short. She lives away from me now and I do not get to see my children much and as of right now I’m currently getting text messages from her revoking all her bulls~~~ as I write this. “Thanking me for what I do” She writes. Someone at waffle house thanked me for what I do today and I appreciate the gesture but after 8 years of marriage that’s all she can say to me ? I sacrificed most of my adulthood taking care of this women who has not had a job for 8 years other than taking care of the children, which I appreciate. I would not even mind if that is how it stayed as long as she was an actual wife. There is so much more I could say and add to this, but the point here is that after all of my hard work and dedication I get f~~~ed. So I have decided to go my own way and it lead me here. Anyone else feel this ?

 

[experiencedParticipant]

The reality you are experiencing is heart wrenching.

Lean on your religion, lean on your friends,

lean…

on…

us!

In time, things will get better.

Thank you for helping others by telling your story.

PS  Thank you for beating the s~~~ out of him.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Heartfelt story and thanks for making it.

Worldstars wrote:

I saw the adult in the children we were about to raise, but she only saw the baby

Felt personally connected to that statement, and impressed you were able to put it down like that. The “baby” obsession women have is something I am quite sick of hearing: “I want a baby”, or “I really want another baby”. That statement is so stunted and dense, and shows how little thought is put into it.

Worldstars wrote:

I have been reading through this site everyday for nearly a week now. I would like to share my story as the stories of others have given me strength, and a valuable realization that I have been dodging for so long. That realization being that I have literally wasted nearly 8 years of my life and it’s time to move on.

Noticed your avatar when you joined. It’s easy to think it’s a “waste” but even when men FEEL like they wasted their time on ungrateful women, or on relationships that should have ben cut earlier… we learn and adapt. It’s not really waste. The knowledge adds value. Even though we’re built to beat ourselves up for it, be careful you don’t do it TOO much. You could throw a dart at (and have invested in) any number of women to the same degree – with the same amount of loyalty, applying as much stress to yourself and arrived at the same conclusion. The “waste” was necessary to arrive where you are now.

I was once HUGELY invested in a totally different line of work than I am in now. Years of study. Holding 3 jobs, no sleep, pulling all nighters thinking it would pay… only to be treated like a second class citizen. I had said “what a waste” so many times and as FURIOUSLY angry about putting so much into it and throwing it all away. I once SCREAMED about it on the phone. “WHAT A F~~~ING WASTE!!!”….. but it’s not just a cliché. It was essential part of the journey.

Worldstars wrote:

had a child with her the second time around so she would not leave ( I know, dumbass me )

No judgement here. It’s perfectly reasonable to make sacrifices and give a woman “what she wants” believing it will somehow come back to you – especially if she’s your wife. That don’t make you no dumbass.. But YOU know and understand the implications of having a child… and when it doesn’t get recognized as a sacrifice by her, it reduces her perception of the man down to sperm donor.

She carries for 9 months… 4 of which are barely any effort. But you carry a minimum of 216 monthly payments, and when this is pointed out to women, they get a little irritated because they are now forced to realize they “give birth”. But then it’s all on YOU — to give LIFE.

Welcome to MGTOW. Hope to read more from you.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

Worldstars  That was a hard read for me, as though I lived every paragraph. Well written and gut twisting. Thanks for your service..Welcome to a safe place for men.. I am at a loss for words after that read…the effect caused me to sit and stare at the screen…wishing all the best for you..Enjoy the forums

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[Anonymous 42]

Worldstars wrote:

Anyone else feel this ?

@worldstars, frustration leads to resolve! Your mind was tortured we can see! So far away and bound by deceit when your attention was needed elsewhere, A F~~~ING WAR ZONE! Many men have died due to there minds being unnecessarily occupied by female BULLS~~~! I myself damn near walked into the beyond life over the heartlessness of a woman! There carelessness combined with this society’s norms are deadly to the spirit of man, WELCOME to life in an altered reality, the reality of MGTOW….Read, soak, and enjoy all the red pills we have to offer, truth is liberating! Thank-you for your service! We salute you!

[experiencedParticipant]

Worldstars, a couple of “helps” if I may.  SHE’s made her choices and will now have to live with them. IMO, DO NOT allow her to get her toe back in the doorway to your mind.  I congratulate you for deflecting her, “thanking me for what I do” bologna. Think of yourself as a gear; if you continue to engage with another gear that is clearly effed up, you will end up..effed up.  I apologize for saying what you already know, but … have absolutely no interactions with her.    This is near impossible with kids involved, but do your best to not comm  – – also EVERY time she screws your seeing your kids, DOCUMENT IT.  As a wise, quiet, well respected friend of mine told me, “She doesn’t care about time with your child, she only cares about time f~~~ing her boyfriend.”   USE this to your advantage, see your kids as much as possible NOW and then some. The hurt you’ve felt is nothing compared to what kids go through, and they grow up fast. LOG every effing minute you spend with them, keep this log and use it in court to prove to the judge the facts regarding time.  The court system ‘bonuses’ judges for giving custody to the wife, while you can’t legally coach your kids on what to talk to the judge, communicate to them that they must assert themselves, they must tell him strongly what they want, not what anyone else[the wiff] told them to want.

BE warned, there will be cowards who will take the situation of your being temporarilly down……to jump up and down on you……..for your own good?   NO, FOR THEIR LACK OF COMPETENCE in these matters. While I’m not at liberty to state what I think should be done to them, know that God is just, or “what goes around comes around”…….they will get theirs in the end, ignore them, they’re incompetent immoral morons.

When I was, “off the grid – on the lam, a great aid to my child, was writing to him, on loose leaf, you love them more than life itself, you (plural) will get through this, and exactly what you are going through right now. Read it aloud, in person,…. later,     It’s worth it’s weight in gold, yours are young, but you’ll know when they’re ready, but don’t wait too long.  This consolidates in their mind that when you are away, it’s in the physical sense only.

“I have never been there for her” is a LIE,      WTF did she expect marrying a military man?  Women choose to look only at the benefits, not the whole picture, that’s their problem.     BTW  WTF WAS THE MORTALITY RATE IN WWII  FOR ‘ROSY THE RIVETERS’? yeah, ‘she can do it,’ and sleep safe and sound in her own bed at night.

You’ve put your life on the line for four effing deployments. THANK YOU!         but to then come home to the crap that things have turned into due to “NO FAULT DIVORCE”.       It’s shameful.         You are not.              Hang in there and keep posting to us, as there are guys a hundred times better qualified to help you than me.

BE CAREFUL, while it was thoroughly encouraging to read that you beat the s~~~ out of that guy,   as my private investigator told me, you can’t help your kid from behind bars.      KNOW that your frustration is met with total empathy here.  Many won’t be able to tell you all details, or they’ll lose jobs/careers/etc.    Also, there will be, at your neck of the woods, men who really do give a damn and want to encourage you, but abstain from broaching the subject because they don’t want to put you through  any more pain.      Also, there are good shrinks out there – – PhD’s in cognitive clinical psychology, tell you how to approach situations thought-wise, all sorts of pointers on dealing with your situation. IN MY OPINION get a male, NOT female.  with the right PhD in psychology there  is a “last final appointment”, where, on reflecting–“crap he taught me a lot of extremely important things.    But there are also the happyjackass golddigger shrinks,  these colons with a scalp forget you already chatted with them before deciding against them / are suggested by your ex to be/ want to teach you anger management, so it can be used against you in court, to affirm the false presupposition that there was anger etc.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[John DoeParticipant 743]

Welcome,

You will find this a good place to blow off steam and gather your thoughts.

You military guys have it tough when it comes to relationships.  I had quite a few friends who were in and the majority of stories I hear are bad ones.   I am under the assumption that being in the military  pretty much guarantees you being divorced and broke.

The only reason I don’t have those stories is because a recruiter stood me up twice when I went to apply for the Army ROTC.  I got really p~~~ed the second time and left without signing anything.  I figured if the army was going to f~~~ me before I even signed something, what would happen after I signed it?  Looking back I am glad I got stood up.

[WorldstarsParticipant 7]

Thanks for all of the advice here, I know you guys have had your fair share of trouble with women and it is nice being able to let this s~~~ out. Experienced you have replied twice and I appreciate your input more than you know man.  I read what you have written many times over along with everyone else. I will keep all of this in mind as I deal with the s~~~ storm that is about to unravel. I just wanted to say that I share this story for everyone here to read and take caution. You can give these women blood, sweat, tears and the whole world twice over. If you wrong them in any way or even if they perceive something you have done as wrong it is enough to leave your ass hanging. They never forget , they never forgive and they will hold every slight in their mind until they convince themselves that they will be “happy” if you were not there. They will lie , manipulate, and gaslight straight to your face without thinking twice. They will talk s~~~ to their friends, and how these friends suddenly become marital experts, therapist, and a shoulder to cry on is sickening. After all this has taken place they will want to be friends while they talk to other men about your downfalls and how you have not met their expectations. These simps will work at every shortfall that she told them about and convince her that she deserves better only to get a piece of ass. I am living this right now , 7 years ago I married a gorgeous f~~~ing girl that I thought the world of and would have given my life to protect. She swore to GOD that she would be there for me , through sickness and health till death do you part. Where is she now ? She is not dead so what the f~~~ happened? There is nothing in marriage for a man today. These guys are 100% absolutely f~~~ing right about going your own way. Thanks again for the responses and the support, I deeply appreciate it.

[WorldstarsParticipant 7]

John doe , first time I applied they turned me down , the second time they let me retake my ASVAB test and I got in. There are a lot of things I would have rather done than join the military. It took some time for me to realize that and out of the 1% of the American population that are actually military, they would rather be doing something else. If you ask me personally, be thankful they stood you up.

Keymaster, sometimes the things you write, it’s like you have taken it right from my head and explained it better.

 

 

[Lazarus LongParticipant 365]

I wanted to let you know that while I am not a military man myself I sympathize to the fullest extent I am capable. My older brother is in the Army and was deployed to Iraq three times and even though he was in a different state from me when he came back I heard about the trouble he had readjusting to civilian life and being with his wife.

I am sure that you have probably already discovered that a lot of your experiences rhyme far too much with others on this site and I personally have had many similar experiences.

Worldstars wrote:

A month later I surprisingly go visit her and my kids while I am on leave and who do I find , him , alone with my children while she was out shopping with her sister.

This one was particularly close to one of my experiences but I think that in my case it was part of how I ended up with custody of the children. While I did not beat the s~~~ out of him (though I wish I had) I did take the opportunity to take my children from her and sent them to my parents house. One of the things I had learned was that at least in my state since we were still married at the time it did not count as Kidnapping since I was the father. It also allowed the Ex to go f~~~ up more which was good for me.

Anyway I know it is very little compensation but Thank you for your service and may God Bless you, it seems to me that since you have found this site he has already.

Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. -Terry Goodkind

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