I forgot this

[Anonymous 43]

I dated a woman, we loved, she still loved her ex, and our engagement fell apart.

Sometime after crashing to earth, I found this quote from CS Lewis

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

I used to read this almost everyday, as a way to heal myself after a betrayal and break up. And for almost 3 years, I was not dating anyone, I focused on work and school. I guess I was happy?

Then I met the woman I eventually divorced. I forgot about the CS Lewis message and started to feel more alive, and I was living to see this woman 20 years old, and I completely lost my mind, taking her places, buying her things, just head over heels for her. Looking back with red pill infused brain, I ask myself why did I do what I did. Nothing made sense, I was out of control, lost my dream, built her up and I was left behind, thrown away, going to end my life because my special snowflake f~~~ed up?

What was I thinking? I must have been so high on internal dopamine that I never noticed her flaws, I made the world perfect for her, at my expense. I used to refill her car gas tank with gas from the red cans in the garage. Every evening I made some excuse to go out in the garage, and top off the fuel tank. lol She must have thought her car got 100 MPG. I did all these behind the scenes things to make her life better so she wouldn’t have to bitch about stuff. I was so sick of her complaining about stuff, that I insulated and removed all possible troubles from her life.

How did I go from keeping my love wrapped up in a container to topping off her car so she wouldn’t have to bother going to the gas station?

lol I wonder if she ran out of gas the first week I was gone. I took care of that from 1998 until 2009.

I think now that I am red pill, CS Lewis makes more sense. Before I thought it was about the bitterness of rejection. Now I understand that it is a method of self sovereignty and self preservation. Only took me 30 years to figure that out.

[ghostParticipant]

You were blue pill AF. Glad you’ve moved on from that stage of your life.

[Heave-Ho MgtowParticipant 1797]

Chasing Stinky made you do it, and at the time you were intoxicated with hormones. Steady stink and blind to the obvious. We’ve all been there, or at least for most MGTOW. CS Lewis was feeding blue pills at a level of near overdose. Don’t be MGTOW, Be vulnerable you selfish bastards!

skip the cavernous vag and go your own way

[ghostParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

coffin

Carnage actually sleeps inside one.

[SOLI2DEParticipant 745]

This was amazing and insightful. I saw so much of myself in the things that you did for her and why. I saved that quote and will absorb it and practice it. Thanks

“Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings.” -Proverbs 31:3-

[Anonymous 43]

YOu think that cs lewis quote was blue pill??? Whut?

[nonameParticipant 746]

May that is some profound quote, thanks for that will use it as a reminder.

Luckily all that is behind us, it would have been nice to receive some gratitude or acknowledgement for things we did selflessly. I know i could have used a hug a smile anything really.

One does wonder why the hell did We/I wasted so much time on a person like that.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. - Aristotle
Warrior asked Fear, “How can I defeat you?” Fear replied, “If you don’t do what I say, I have no power.”

[HermitParticipant 1121]

The only thing is, when I read that quote, it sounds like a criticism to me. He seems to be saying that you ought to make yourself vulnerable. Did I misread?

I don't hate women. I just feel better when they're not around.

[ghostParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

YOu think that cs lewis quote was blue pill??? Whut?

No, I meant that you were. I don’t know too much about CS Lewis.

[Heave-Ho MgtowParticipant 1797]

That was my initial take on it May. I read it again and can see it as very red pill as well? Icethemout

skip the cavernous vag and go your own way

[Anonymous 43]

No G I was p~~~ing blue pills back then amigo. I was drowning in s~~~ vortex back then, be the nice guy program.

I was asking heave ho.

[Anonymous 43]

oh ok heave ho….

[ghostParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

No G I was p~~~ing blue pills back then amigo. I was drowning in s~~~ vortex back then, be the nice guy program.

I was asking heave ho.

Got it. Carry on.

[Anonymous 43]

Wasn’t that the way to attract and keep a woman, put her on a pedestal, worship the ground she walks on, be happy she allows you in her presence, do all the things for her so she isn’t inconvenienced, and make her life easy?

lol such stupidity, look at what it got me. I thought I was all clever and sly, doing all these pedestrian things for her, all I did was make a monster that almost destroyed me.

I remember her telling the marriage councilor that she wanted me to fight and argue…things at the time I thought were such alien concepts…fighting and arguing would get me thrown away. S~~~, today, she would be no match for me. What I thought I couldn’t get enough of, now bore me. Can’t have me.

[nonameParticipant 746]

Different times, in victorian era that kind of behavior would be custom.
Men are learning, much of us gets burned in the process but we learn.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. - Aristotle
Warrior asked Fear, “How can I defeat you?” Fear replied, “If you don’t do what I say, I have no power.”

[HitmanParticipant]

Can’t make everyday her birthday party..
I tried.
It doesn’t work.
They are impossible to keep happy and it’s not our job to try.
I learned the hard way too…

[ghostParticipant]

Hitman wrote:

I learned the hard way too…

The hard way is the BEST way.

[HitmanParticipant]

Gambit is right.
When you learn it the hard way you REMEMBER the lesson.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

I posted a long reply, and now I’ve killed it.

That’s a cool quote May.

I don’t know that I’ll ever love anything again. Decades of pouring into a hole the same way you did have made me realize that I’m much better living for me, but I won’t be shoving myself into any coffins any time soon.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[AkhilleusParticipant 2486]

Also learned hard way best comment I received during my blue pill days were why do you try so much. Never kicked in till later on life.

Aloha means family you don't leave family behind. Who will be the next Draconarius for MGTOW? MGTOW = brothers = acceptance = belonging

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