I feel lost

[Happyending159Participant 28]

I’ll be honest here but before I say anything I’ll say that i’m pretty drunk and that just tend’s to both amplify and numb my experiences (I am aware that is a contradiction but it’s the best way of trying to explain myself)

the first point I’ll make is that many of the posts I read on this site i read and pass by. they attack feminists and while i completely agree with the points made and understand the hate and what many of you here have been through here. I find that personally it only makes my personal struggles worse to focus on these things. I am not judging those that post these things, I am simply saying that It does my mental state more harm than good when it come to processing this and I can honestly do without that hate in my life. I am not Angry, I am simply lost and keep riding highs and lows of my emotional state. I work away for often weeks at a time and this doesn’t help.

My problems come from infatuation. I have always had an addictive personality and I can never deal with this properly. It’s bad with alcohol, drugs, climbing, escorts, video games, junk food, oversleeping and even work. all of these I can moderate with discipline and control, It’s not easy sometimes and I don’t always win but I can always recover and gain from my losses.

The area I fail with is love. since swallowing TRP 2 months ago I have been able to stop myself becoming invested in any women I meet, I know love doesn’t exist like I want it to and I can accept that going forward. I know I will never fall for anyone again. The real issues come Pre red pill last summer, with the girl that I am here because of. I cannot deal with thoughts of her directly. A failed LDR that I haven’t spoken too in 9-10 months but it still breaks me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am lost. I have no doubt that I am strong enough to power through and keep doing my s~~~ but I am still having some dark times and struggling a lot. I don’t feel the need to go into specifics regarding what happened on here as I am not looking for advice on what to do regarding that ( If I was then I’d post elsewhere) as I know these is no progression or future there.

At this stage I don’t think I should be getting depressed to the extent I am, despite what I have achieved in recent times in terms of climbing, work and socially I am still struggling especially when sober when I should be strongest.

any thoughts or advice appreciated.

[Anonymous 7]

Reading and research always helps me

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Happyending159 wrote:

they attack feminists and while i completely agree with the points made and understand the hate

Hate?

The truth is not hate.

It’s just the truth.

[Enjoy The DeclineParticipant 1719]

Sounds like you need to find your own meaning in your life. According this the book, “Man’s search for meaning”, by Viktor Frankl, sometimes you need to find a meaning in your suffering to endure it all. There is also a book/movie called “the life of pi” that taught a lesson that just the fact that the boy was with a tiger in a boat on the ocean, that in taking care of the tiger on the ocean, it gave the boy a meaning in life which then saved the boy in the long run since the boy had a reason to endure it all while on the ocean for that long period of time.

"Question everything" - Albert Einstein

[chirParticipant]

After you have run off the hangover. 🙂 Take stock of yourself. Just for a moment, forget about women, friends and family. What about yourself? What are you happy about with yourself?
People often live for others, and seek self-affirmation through others. For women this is pretty much like oxygen. If they don’t have constant affirmation from others that validates them they could drop dead.

Being MGHOW means working towards being satisfied in your own skin and enjoying life on your terms.
What makes life enjoyable for you? Since its different for so many men, its something you need work out on your own.
Build on that.
If you don’t have red pill rage, take comfort in that. A lot of men here have had their share of serious pain. This is where they come to work it out.

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[FuckMeSpectator 215]

“I’ll be honest here but before I say anything I’ll say that i’m pretty drunk, At this stage I don’t think I should be getting depressed to the extent I am” I am not one to give out advice to anyone and just speaking for myself here…Alcohol is one of if not the most hard substances I have ever had, complete abstinence from it and women is the only thing that lifted me from the fog. Anyone suffering from depression should NOT drink alcohol, it will only make it worse. Alcohol combined with vagina is a sure fire recipe for depression. Your honesty is inspirational and reminds me I am on the right track. Be a man, be the Alpha, be sober if you can’t handle it. Thank you…Bubba Z

You think Chernobyl was bad? Wait until the ink drys on that marriage contract you just signed...we know, you just wanted sex and fun...you could have gotten that for $100.00 a couple times a month instead of DESTROYING your life!!!

[Enjoy The DeclineParticipant 1719]

I just always feel like searching for meaning is going to lead to something gay.

Well the word gay can also mean “jovial or happy, good-spirited”. Maybe that meaning is not what you meant, but being “jovial or happy, good-spirited” is what I believe should be the outcome in finding your meaning. But apparently you disagree, but at least I know that you mean what you said, because you did bring up points like this on how you view life in general in your other posts. For this alone, I respect your opinion.

"Question everything" - Albert Einstein

[Anonymous 7]

Enjoy The Decline wrote:

Well the word gay can also mean “jovial or happy, good-spirited”. Maybe that meaning is not what you meant, but being “jovial or happy, good-spirited” is what I believe should be the outcome in finding your meaning. But apparently you disagree, but at least I know that you mean what you said, because you did bring up points like this on how you view life in general in your other posts. For this alone, I respect your opinion.

Gay is closer to feminine energy. Females tend to worry more. Hence its gay as f~~~ to think about the end.

With my current health issues I could end up dead within years I’m staring right into that abyss with a big “F~~~ you”. Ill do what I want when I want and f~~~ anybody that says otherwise

[Enjoy The DeclineParticipant 1719]

Lots of people get raged here from time to time. Verityphantom was a big example but that guy couldn’t control it. I’m too scared to even tell Lottery what he should do in his situation based on certain scenarios that might happen in his future. Anyways, it is rare that I talk to guys on a personal level anyways and it is better that way. Just thought I would say something.

"Question everything" - Albert Einstein

[Dr. SableParticipant 1064]

The most important thing for you is your life.
That you are alive and well.

When you read posts here you should not focus on what you have read but try and understand and then move on.
As you said, you focus on what is written. You are focusing too much. Be disciplined about it and do not be a sponge and take it on on a personal level.
Just try to understand and learn.
Focus on what makes you feel good. Do not focus on bad. If you do, it is a trap of your own making, so relax.
Take a break from the forum and digest what was important and not on all the negative aspects and in time you will find it easier to deal and categorize the what is written here.

Zero Tolerance

[experiencedParticipant]

sidecar wrote:

Happyending159 wrote:

they attack feminists and while i completely agree with the points made and understand the hate

Hate?

The truth is not hate.

It’s just the truth.

Agreed!

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[KeymasterKeymaster]

It may not work for you, but it works for me.

Every time I have felt “lost” or “depressed” or anxious, or overwhelmed by negative worries….. I go and work out until I want to vomit. I work up a sweat until I think I’m going to drop.

2 hours later, I feel fantastic.

“Alive” again.

I’m mot a religious man, but many times when things looked bleak, I have enough faith (and experience) to know that the stars WILL align again. For some reason, they always seem to. Just when the universe knocks me down, there is something to pick me up right around the corner. I can’t explain it, but it makes the lows and dark times tolerable because I know they are temporary.

EVERYTHING is temporary.

Accepting that was very liberating , because it taught me not to take it all too seriously. In fact, I don’t drink – hardly – but when I do, I tell myself I should do it a little more often. I get a nice little buzz and relax a bit.

If work is going well for you and you’re climbing, well…. don’t forget to count your blessings once in a while too.

I hope something I said here is useful in some way.
Sometimes just telling someone (and writing it out) helps.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Happyending159Participant 28]

thanks for the replies, all are very much appreciated and reading them is helping me work myself out a bit better.

I’ve had a sleep and I’m fine but I’m beginning to get to the core of my issues.

The depression I get does not come from alcohol, drinking is something that I have recently managed to control and is now a great social aspect to my life. I often go weeks without alcohol without issue although I think it is just easier for me to be honest with myself when I have had some. when I feel down it tends to come to me when I am away with work (on Rigs at sea for 2-4 weeks at a time) and I have too much time to think with minimal distractions. The last trip I was on was 2 weeks and it ended on Tuesday, I was fine up until around Saturday when I began feeling down. when I get back home I often find it hard to transition back to day to day life and the potential for going away again at short notice always looms.

I guess I think too much and when I have long periods away and it’s inevitable at the moment that my thoughts will lead to past memories that I tend to drown out when I am at home and can fill my days living my life. I have made a lot of changes, much of which stealthy lists, and I have been more at peace these last 2 months than I have been in a long time. I guess I still have a long way to go.

I think much of the last few months has been about breaking addicting habits, some of which are listing in my OP, and trying to live a more balanced life and I’ve generally had a fair bit of success with the exception of the lingering memories of love in the past. I have no doubt that it is an addiction in terms of how my brain works and I take comfort from the fact that it’s no where near as bad it was.

guess I just have too much time to try to figure stuff out that for better or worse, has no meaning.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Happyending159 wrote:

I guess I think too much

Be very careful with that. It’s a trap.

You know the member “Jackninov”? Well, he was suffering from writers block and I told him a little secret of mine.

I watch 4 hours of stupid TV to empty my head. Seinfeld. Bulls~~~ sitcoms. An old movie or two. It’s GOOD to empty your head and let someone tell YOU a story for a change. Instead of “thinking too much” …. do something where you don’t need to think AT ALL.

A Lord of the Rings or James Bond marathon. I swear by it.
Once a month and I’m right as rain.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 42]

When in the riptide of depression swim parallel, don’t fight it, time is the parallel, It’s like being trapped in a bubble, just give it time and the bubble will pop setting you free. It’s a cycle you need to recognize and endure.
All things change, you just need to wait it out, then without your knowledge the bubble is gone and the riptide has stopped.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

I just always feel like searching for meaning is going to lead to something gay.

Brilliant, Survivor. Simply brilliant.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

There is several ways. If you feel depressed taking a cold shower. This a no joke, ideally at least 2 minutes, the longer the better.

I recommend patients with depression to use brief whole-body exposure to cold water in the form of a cold shower. Patients can start a shower at a comfortable warm temperature and slowly cool down the water over a 5 minute period down to 68°F, at which point you can sustain for 2 to 3 minutes.

You can use a thermometer to check the temperature. This can be performed once or twice a day and may be continued for weeks to several months (Shevchuk, 2008).

You can read the book called Awaken The Giant Within, you library should have it if they don’t you can also buy it. The book gives you tools to change your emotional states.

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[Tiga KParticipant 1693]

I know what you are talking about. My compulsive personality has been one of the reasons I have stayed away from relationships, but I still have to deal with “crushes” or whatever you want to call it when you feel something for a woman. In order to address this problem, I just find alternative outlets for my desire. For this particular problem, I find playing or writing music really helps me express those emotions. My depression is caused by trying to hold those emotions in; since I don’t do relationships, I have to use this to release them and achieve balance.

That said, I think the most important things is finding a goal you want to achieve, and go for it. Our purpose(s) in life is whatever we want them to be. If we expect one to eventually stumble upon us or let society dictate what our purpose is, we can’t be happy.

Other than that the best thing to do is just stay logical and push through the hard times. If necessary, write a manifesto when you are feeling at your logical peak. We all have our highs and lows, but a manifesto can serve as a written copy of yourself of when you aren’t troubled with self-doubt. Look at what you’ve written and explain to yourself why your current emotional state won’t help you achieve the goals written down. Remind yourself why you wrote that goal down and what it means to you. Remind yourself that what you are feeling now is temporary and you can either overcome it or let it be a handicap. Visualize how great it will be once you achieve these goals and let that inspire you to overcome your current struggle.

[Author]

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