I feel like she tried to humiliate me, but failed

[OneforfreedomParticipant 930]

tl;dr- met a girl who was interested in me, kept her as a friend for 2 months, then discovered MGTOW, went ice-cold with her, realized I’ll be seeing a lot of her for next 3-4 years, tried repairing relations with her, she refused, and she attempted to humiliate me.

There’s this girl who I met 6-7 months ago, and we were classmates and friends.

She used to text me a lot, and called frequently to complain about her boss at work, etc. She showed a LOT of interest in me, and it was intoxicating. So I reciprocated by taking her calls and responding to her messages quite eagerly. NOTE- THIS IS PRE-MGTOW.

Two months of this into our friendship, I discovered MGTOW and realized that I was essentially an emotional tampon for her….comforting her when she was upset about her boss/work, listening as she spoke about her problems with her mother, listening while she spoke about this guy she was interested in etc. etc.

Note- I was somewhat attracted to her, but I never made a move on her or did anything to suggest I was interested in her.

Anyways, when I discovered MGTOW, I became furious as I realized how she was treating me, and I went ice-cold on her. Radio silence. Her texts would sit in my inbox for 20 days just to get a one-word response from me. I was brutally cold, and she kept asking if I did anything to annoy her.

Eventually she stopped messaging me (this is 3months into our friendship).

Now, 1.5 months ago, I realized that she is planning on doing the same program after school that I want to do. And she and I have both been picked up/selected for it. SO, I realize that I’m going to see a lot of her and it’s probably a good idea to not alienate her. So I start saying Hi again whenever she says so, and remain cordial.

Furthermore, I try to repair relations by sending her a few text messages, all of which go unanswered (i.e. I assume she is p~~~ed).

The other day, in class, I was sitting next to one of her close male friends (who I get along with pretty well but certainly she knew him longer and had met him before I did). She’s always “marking her territory” on him- writing on his paper during class, whispering to him while the prof lectures, etc.

Anyways, I’m sitting next to him, class begins in 1 min, she enters and sees that there is no place for her to sit next to him.

So what does she do? She walks right up to him, completely ignores me who is sitting right next to him, and says “Let’s go sit over in those rows in the back.” He immediately says no that he’s not interested in sitting back there, she pouts and says “fine, I hate you” and goes by herself.

I noticed during the class that she looked extremely upset/angry.

Now this is what I’m thinking- she was trying to insult me in a way because she had seen me and this guy talking and laughing. And she felt that if she could sway him to go with her, she’d be showing that he liked her more and that he had abandoned me. However, when it backfired, SHE felt humiliated and that morphed into anger.

Am I overthinking this?

I felt extremely disgusted at what she tried to do to me right now and decided to stay ice-cold with her from now.

I know it was totally a s~~~ test what she did to the other guy.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Oneforfreedom wrote:

she pouts and says “fine, I hate you” and goes by herself.

Not one f~~~ is given!

Oneforfreedom wrote:

Am I overthinking this?

Ummm, YES!

Seriously, why would you care? Because you wanted to nail her and you didn’t? Mate, she is a silly little girl with a princess entitlement and personally if I was you, I’d just severe all ties. End well this will not!

Deep

[Anonymous 18]

It was likely a mistake to thaw your otherwise ice cold demeanor to her.

Partly it will be seen as a sign of weakness or her delusional mind may consider you as an orbiter.

Just because you will be seeing a lot of her doesn’t make or warrant you to change your views/attitude towards her. The real risk is warming up the friendship only for her to get you in trouble later. Because women don’t forget the insults.

Staying clear of her with your ice cold attitude would certainly not make things worse if not improve them.

[TheroniusParticipant 975]

High fives all around, Bro! Buy yourself a beer.

"I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?" - George Carlin

[OldBillParticipant]

Oneforfreedom wrote:

Am I overthinking this?

Hell yes.

Why do you care what this woman thinks? You’re supposed to be moving beyond caring, remember?

Keep on keeping on. Don’t deviate from the journey you just began.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[Anonymous 11]

You were just an emotional tampon to her and then wised up to her. That is all.

You’re now seeing how she really views you. Continue keeping her say priority #12 just behind farting.

[HitmanParticipant]

don’t even care , at all ..not one bit ...she is a worthless manipulative creature who only has ONE thing to offer …it’s NOT
good conversation
friendship.
comradery ..
intellectual stimulation..
a study partner..
NO ! .…IT’S her PUSSY ! and NOTHING ELSE ...ONLY her skank-ass t~~~ ! there’s gotta be a thousand other bitches to nail..chalk this one up !

[OneforfreedomParticipant 930]

Thank you everyone.

DeepInThought wrote:

I’d just severe all ties

Advice taken. I’ll stick to this strategy from now.

Anonymous wrote:

Partly it will be seen as a sign of weakness or her delusional mind may consider you as an orbiter.

This is what I was worried about. Looks like my fear came true.

Theronius wrote:

High fives all around, Bro

Right back at you!

OldBill wrote:

You’re supposed to be moving beyond caring, remember?

Yeah, but it’s hard sometimes. When a girl shows you so much attention. I’m in my mid-20s- Testosterone is at its lifetime peak in my body.

Still, mistakes are how lessons are learned.

Anonymous wrote:

You were just an emotional tampon to her and then wised up to her. That is all.

You’re now seeing how she really views you. Continue keeping her say priority #12 just behind farting.

Hahahaha you made me laugh with the priority order :D. Thanks CP!

Hitman wrote:

don’t even care , at all ..not one bit …she is a manipulative creature

Yeah I should’ve kept my distance.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Right … go ask KM for the keys to the basement.

Down there you will find a large shipping container.

It’s full of ‘no fks given’

Take as many as you need. Bring a trailer if you want.

Oh and remember to return the keys ….. he gets real p~~~ed if you don’t ?

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

You did right by ghosting her, but now you want to un-ghost and for what? Let her sit in the back and steam herself to death, eventually she’ll drop out of the thing and you won’t have to worry about her any more.

Forget her. That’s the right thing to do.

[narwhalParticipant]

Her reaction is perfectly to be expected. If I’m understanding your story correctly, she used you to dump emotions and you were all good with that. Then you broke contact for no reason that she’s aware of. Of course she’s going to be p~~~ed. IMO, and it doesn’t look like it’s shared, you could/should have told her you didn’t want to be her emotional dumpster anymore. She probably wouldn’t get it and you can just walk away then. She may still have been p~~~ed that you aren’t an orbiter anymore. Either way, wouldn’t care. You could be cordial with her now and she could be decent or resentful. Whatever.

Point is, if a friend that trusted enough with my personal s~~~ just walked away, I’d want to know why. So therefore, I’d do the same for them. Yes, she’s a woman, but I don’t think that means you treat her differently then you’d want to be treated. And don’t forget, you let her dump on you. That’ was on you, not her. If you had said no from the beginning, then I imagine things would be a lot different.

Ok. Then do it.

[shadowParticipant 156]

If she was mature and acted like a adult, or even just a good person, she would have tried to repair the relationship and replied to your texts and be ‘good’ with you from the get go,. She is just a demanding little bossy ass bitch.

[narwhalParticipant]

shadow wrote:

If she was mature and acted like a adult, or even just a good person, she would have tried to repair the relationship and replied to your texts and be ‘good’ with you from the get go,. She is just a demanding little bossy ass bitch.

Don’t forget that he never told her why he broke off communication with her (as far as I can tell). Not saying her behavior is mature, but I wouldn’t be too eager to repair a relationship when I don’t know why it got broke to begin with. And she tried for 3 months to repair the relationship, according to the story. Would you be so happy to bring someone back into your life after 15 months?

Ok. Then do it.

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

I think she will remain p~~~ed at you forever and a agree to continue to avoid her. But keep in mind, if she hates you, she has many outlets on campus to make your life miserable like a false rape accusation.

That’s what false accusations are for, getting back at petty enemies.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[Anonymous 42]

The lesson here is “your constitution”, personally I like to put my foot down, hold it there until they stop wiggling, then pull my foot out, and fill the shoe with concrete! NEVER DOUBLE BACK! DAMN THE TORPEDOES, FULL SPEED AHEAD!
She’s just another one of feminism’s psychological omelets! Scrambled brains on short order!

[Big BossParticipant 4496]

Oneforfreedom wrote:

tl;dr- met a girl who was interested in me, …

I’m sorry I fell asleep. Wtf happened in a legit tl;dr?

[BurgundyParticipant 1525]

The key, is to not care.

That and to say no, master these skills, and you will notice that your life actually becomes a lot more relaxed.

It’s been a few years since I started saying no and giving less of a f~~~ about shaming attempts, those who wish to have power over you, will tell you that you will be doomed if you do not conform to their wishes, in truth they are the ones who are doomed/in fear, as they are losing power over you, for every time you say no, and every time their shaming/tantrums are ignored or rebutted.

Your post certainly sound like one, who was fooled into believing, “you had to try mend things”, even though they needed none, and was of no issue to you, if you stayed cold.

Just notice, that your attempts trying to “warm up”, will be seen for her in the future, other than admitting defeat, as a possibility of having power over you in some way, in fact I believe your attempts to warm up, sparked her believing she could isolate you, because she saw an opening/weakness, which could be exploited.

Like Poker, keep your Poker Face on.

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10911]

The only time a woman can humiliate you is if you do care. Not only about her and what she thinks but about what everyone else around you thinks as well. Women will only try to do this s~~~ test when there are other people around. It compounds the humiliation and it makes her stock look good to everybody else.
Stand your ground. You don’t need that 5th grade mentality and cheers for your friend for backing you up and sticking by you.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[OneforfreedomParticipant 930]

shadow wrote:

Point is, if a friend that trusted enough with my personal s~~~ just walked away, I’d want to know why.

Fair enough. That’s a reasonable expectation. I did invite her out to lunch to talk things over/showed some goodwill in that regard. But I hear what you are saying.

shadow wrote:

If she was mature and acted like a adult, or even just a good person, she would have tried to repair the relationship and replied to your texts and be ‘good’ with you from the get go,.

Thanks for the support, man!

Puffin Stuff wrote:

I think she will remain p~~~ed at you forever

Me too.

Anonymous wrote:

The lesson here is “your constitution”,

Hmm- interesting. I never thought of it like that but yes, it makes sense. I need to fundamentally alter the way I deal with people.

Burgundy wrote:

The key, is to not care.

That is the key, but it’s hard to not care. Still, I’ll work on it.

Mr. Spock wrote:

Stand your ground. You don’t need that 5th grade mentality and cheers for your friend for backing you up and sticking by you.

Amen! He was amazing for doing that. I respect him for it.

[Author]

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