I blame it on love

[DazzleParticipant 67]

I think this is going to be a long post, there’s a lot of s~~~ happened to me in the last 2  years (and beyond)  and the question “Why?” still keeps going round and round in my head. So I’d love some advice from you guys.

I still can’t believe how gullible  I’ve been for the last 30 years (yes 30 years!), 23 of them married. The thing is even before I took the plunge, I knew how stressful and tough things were going to be, but hey, we was in love, we had each other, we would get through it and come out the other side with a house, kids and all the trimmings! You know what, even though I knew instinctively how much hard work I would have to put in, the reality of it and length of time (all my married life) took me completely by surprise. But to me it would be worth it in the end, I love my family and we’d finally made it through to the other side……bring on the good times……..WRONG!

Just a couple of months after my youngest child had finished her schooling (coincidence ?)  the s~~~ started happening. It started at a party with me catching her facebooking some guy, when I asked “Who the f~~~ he was” she simply finished typing and without a word, walked away. Boom, total mind f~~~! At the end of the night after avoiding her, she comes up to me and asked “What’s wrong with you?” Can you believe the front of this woman, I was speechless. Anyway I played it cool, this wasn’t the first time I’d caught her cheating, but it was the first time a would be able to prove it and I’d vowed she would not do that to me again. For the next 3 days I didn’t say a word, thinking she would have to explain her actions, god was I naïve. Not one word came out of that bitches mouth until I exploded and I got the guilt card treatment. ” He’s just a friend from school, he doesn’t even live here anymore, you’re just paranoid ” etc, etc, etc. Two months down the road and thing are getting worse. Although I’m trying to talk about her actions, she is saying nothing and just looks at me with complete contempt on her face. I’m totally at my wits end, where has my wife gone? What have I done ? I can see she’s unhappy, but why? What have I done????  It’s funny how we blame ourselves, but I’ve come to understand from places like this that it’s what men are programmed to do, take on all the responsibility.

I’d like to take a break from my story a minute and hope I’m not boring you, but I think it’s important I  give you a little back ground and  info on just what this bitch got from me over the years. Within a 2-3 year span I: Got married, Started a business, Got a mortgage and had our first kid. Talk about stress! and this stress just became the norm until I finally came to my senses and chucked her out. I did all the cooking, shopping and generally took care of the pool/garden. But here’s the big one, I paid for everything, she paid a couple of token insurance policies and some stuff for the kids, but on the whole her money was hers, I even paid her tax! What did I get for this huge investment into my family? Sex, yes, but for the most part it was pretty basic. House cleaning? very minimal (unless we were having someone coming round). Washing? yes put please, who can’t load a washer and push some buttons. She couldn’t even cook and lived a stress free easy life, all I basically wanted was for her to take charge of the child rearing. To be fair she did an ok job with the kids, they’ve grown into well rounded adults, but they were easy children to manage overall and lets face it women love the job, it’s what they’re on this planet for after all. But once again guys, I loved the woman, she had my kids. What am I going to do but put my head down keep taking the blue and occasional purple pill and “be a man” I’m a f~~~in’ idiot! What was I thinking?

Anyway back to the story. As I say 2 months go by and I finally get her to talk a little, but all I get is the finger pointing, “we don’t do anything together any more” “You’re not making me happy” ” I don’t think you love me anymore” Me, Me, Me,Me! Now don’t get me wrong, there was  some truth in there in places, but reassuring her I loved her to bits and going straight back to the Doctors to get back on the pills for the stress just wasn’t enough. At this time my business is failing and I’m spending thousands trying to start another business up and poor little wifies biggest concern is I’m not making her happy! The red pill is starting to kick in my friends, I can see what’s coming a mile off. So off I go to the main land to do yet another course for the new business and BINGO ! she does it. She gets facebook “friend” over and rides his c~~~ off !

Anyway I find out and of course it’s utterly devastating and this is where I just can’t understand the woman brain. Don’t forget here guys we’ve been together for 30 years and we’ve both said that we love each other, but  she was totally incapable of saying sorry or even explaining her actions. It was more than 6 months before I finally got her out the house( of course she thought I should leave, yer right!) and in that time there was not one show of remorse or accountability. In fact quite the opposite, just the constant finger pointing and all the blame on yours truly. Comments like ” You have got to take some responsibility for MY actions” I kid you not “for my actions” you couldn’t make it up! I’ve now had 2 years of this character assassination, of her damage limitation exercise and demands. We’re not divorced yet, but she’s already engaged to her next meal ticket. Get this, within 6 month of moving out she’d latched on to the first white knight that showed an interest (of course he has his own business), Moved in together 4 months later and were engaged 5 months after that.

Now I’ve got 2 kids to protect. My son looks close to getting married, but how do I reach him without p~~~ing him off?  Then there is my daughter who I’m so scared may learn the wrong lessons from that bitch of a mother of hers. How do I approach her? How do I explain to them that love is blind and can cloud your judgement and for women at least it seems love is not enough.

Well thanks for sticking with me and soon I hope to tell you of my first night out last week on the red pills. What an eye opener!!!

 

[VileNordParticipant 766]

Welcome Brother!

Your story is another example of how women can’t love men, they can only love what men do for them. You weren’t doing “it” for her anymore (for whatever f~~~ed up reason she imagined) so she jumped ship. Never mind your history together and the kids you raised, never mind your financial sacrifices, your “man time” sacrifices, your emotional sacrifices, none of that means s~~~ to her. Women have no appreciation of history, no respect for their benefactors, and no honor. The best way to get her back is to let her see what an awesome life you are leading now that she is gone. Let her see happiness in your eyes because you are a free man once again. Cheers!

Lust for comfort suffocates the soul

[AposematicParticipant 2671]

Dazzle, there is absolutely a spooky quality to your story echoing my experiences. +10 MGTOW points for kicking her to the curb. Great post, and Welcome! It sounds like your kids are old enough to process the drama as adults- one small advantage. I especially like your QED proof of the female rationalisation hamster “for my actions”.  My best advice is to vent and express your hurt in this safe place, and allow yourself to develop equanimity to female hypergamy and await the karmic wheel to arrive.

Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.

[Total LeeParticipant 1573]

Got married, Started a business, Got a mortgage and had our first kid. Talk about stress!

Nobody knows how much stress that is. Life is hard enough to navigate already to shoulder the burden of yourself, to be calm in your own life, and to not fret over what will happen tomorrow. But to take on a wife and children to boot and start out with $400K in debt, how men don’t drop dead at 45 is beyond me. When you’re 35 you have energy but when you’re 55 and still have decades ahead of you and mortage, business, kids, wife on top of it, and then your wife tells you your being “paranoid” because you can see your lifes work slipping as if 30 years don’t count, a man starts to wonder why he even bothered. I am so tired of women behaving as if making a home for them is something that’s *owed* them.

“You’re not making me happy”

Men are not your personal Santa Claus sweetheart. Men don’t *owe* women person happiness.

[DazzleParticipant 67]

Thanks for your kind replies guys, its nice to have the feedback and understanding. It brings home to you when the s~~~ hits the fan that men are so alone. If you’re lucky friends and family rally round, but not for long. You end up feeling like, them listening to your s~~~ is doing their head in, so you retreat into your own little world and get on with it yourself. F~~~in’ sad really, it shouldn’t be like that.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

It shouldn’t be like that, but thats the way it is. And I quite prefer it once I got past accepting it.

You know the expression: “it’s lonely at the top”?

Well that’s the truth, man. There’s no umbrella of protection higher than you. As men, we are expected to hold the umbrella for others. So a man who expects “security” and stability from his wife in his own marriage is regarded as unreasonable and not allowed. She’s permitted to throw a screaming FIT if you message another woman on Facebook, but when your own wife does the same they act, like you’re being childish, insecure and immature about it.

It’s time to take that dynamic and OWN the s~~~ out of it.
So now you will wrote your own rules.

Comments like “i don’t think you love me anymore” are LAZY. Women use that s~~~ (i.e “how do I know I can trust you?”) so they can sit back with their arms folded and expect you to WORK HARDER and jump through hoops to “prove” yourself to her…. so that she can say “aw how cute. Look what I can make him do”.

Forget it.

  “I don’t think you love me anymore.”

  “That’s not called being lovable.”

  “I’m not happy.”

  “Then LEAVE.”

Often when you refuse to be the puppy dog who stands on his hind legs for her and show her the door, she WON’T leave and she is forced to adjust her attitude in a right quick hurry because you just taught her merely saying “I’m not happy” is not NEARLY good enough.

  “I’m not happy.”

  “Women are happiest when they are complaining.”

Welcome Dazzle. (in case I didn’t say it already).

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[TheNinjaUWannaH8Participant 386]

Wow.  Wow.  After reading Dazzle and Deus Ex Machina’s stories back-to-back…You Married with Children Guys who have clawed your way to MGTOW even with limbs missing are my Frucken HEROES.   True Veterans of Foreign Wars.

We should have a MGTOW Veterans Day with a Tomb of the Unknown MGTOW.   I’ll take turns marching.

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