I am MGTOW. . . . But I Feel As If I Cheated To Get Here

[Sky-OParticipant 18934]

Hey guys.

This has been bothering me for a long time. I have searched the forums for a similar topic and/or guy in my situation for a while. At times when I post, I feel like a fraud or a joke inside. I’ve been thinking about it all day and finally am able to post about it.

I am MGTOW. I feel on some level I was evolving into MGTOW long before I could conceptualize what it is and means. Then I started watching videos online and reading about men with similar approaches to the current state of the world in terms of dating, women, marriage, money and romance.

My dilemma is basically, knowing that at this point I am completely MGTOW and have the philosophical and cognitive tools to set up a perimeter against all that had previously negatively impacted my life (sluts, narcissistic women, etc) but how I got here has me feeling like a fraud not even worthy of the MGTOW path.

In a nutshell. . . .

I’ve been with women, in relationships with a couple of those relationships in the past being long term and they involved a lot of time, effort and energy from myself. All given willingly at the time. I’ve been with women sexually and with a few where the sex was out of control, mind blowing and porn induced. And at not point in time during any of those highly sexual relationships if the option was presented to go MGTOW, would I have gone. I would just buried my face back into the current hole, got her off again, pounded away 2-3 times a day, woke up, gone through the same routine, delusional enough to think that the woman I was with actually loved me and never considered another option and/or MGTOW.

I’m MGTOW now because I have already been to the other side of hell and back, experienced emotional pain, betrayal and in a sense (sexually/physically) got my punch card filled up and have been able to take a step back and look at things objectively. And ultimately that led me to MGTOW. In the absence of the previous experiences mentioned above, I almost know with absolute certainty that I would still be where I was at prior . . . . . searching for whatever I thought I needed to feel whole as a man, and I would be an unlikely candidate to go MGTOW. In a way, I doubt I would have ever found the light if I did not already walk through the darkness. It had to be that way.

Also, I am approaching 40 years old and I have noticed a significant decrease in what might be testosterone that has led to somewhat of a decrease in sexually desire. I’m not even sure if it is low testosterone entirely or maybe a combination of that and the fact that I covered most of the ground with women that I wanted to sexually in the previous decade and a half and in lieu of that, I am able to objectively look back on how all of it was so incredibly pointless, empty and shallow – and once again, only because of that was I able to find my way here. In the absence of either what might be low testosterone or just recovery from a period of time when I accomplished a series of meaningless sexual goals, I wonder if I would still be chasing it all in a way and oblivious to the path that being MGTOW offers.

Finally, either due to previous experience, life mistakes, perspective and/or current wisdom, I came to find, during my pre-MGTOW evolution that there is and always was more to life than wanting and needing to be ‘in love’, sex and defining my worth as a man by what kind of relationship am in with a woman. And this plateau that I have reached could have only come from experience and past journeys. It ultimately led me to MGTOW but I would have never got here in the absence of what has amounted to over a decade and a half of seriously warped thinking, bad decisions, adherence to clitoral tyranny and experience. I found my way to MGTOW but more by default, because there was nowhere else to go, no other path worth following and came to MGTOW bloody, beaten, scarred and worn out from the previous life.

I found MGTOW after coming in from the cold. After waking up next to women that lacked a soul. After making every bad decision related to my life that a man could. I found a sanctuary after previously sacrificing my life goals, dreams and aspirations for years at the altar of everything that MGTOW stands against. And I found MGTOW like a starving, worn out and lost stray dog finds a home when he had nowhere else to go.

And that is essentially what has been weighing on me for the last couple of months.

Sky-O

[MyselfParticipant 353]

Hey @sky-o. In a way your story sounds a bit fun, at least compared to the sexually dull period I’m navigating now (approaching 40 myself). I sympathize with the notion that investing so much into something so shallow can leave you feeling empty. I also maintain that investing everything you are into finding deep, meaningful relationships can also leave you feeling like a shell. It’s a no win situation.

I think many of us stumbled along, sleep walking, until something finally woke us up. You didn’t cheat. You paid your dues fair and square.

Thanks for sharing!

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

hey Sky-O,

Sky-O wrote:

My dilemma is basically, knowing that at this point I am completely MGTOW and have the philosophical and cognitive tools to set up a perimeter against all that had previously negatively impacted my life (sluts, narcissistic women, etc) but how I got here has me feeling like a fraud not even worthy of the MGTOW path.

You are reclaiming your birthright that was robbed from you through all the feminist BS, etc. We were stripped of our manhood while we were still boys for a great many of us, from what I keep reading anyway, in more words or less. What we were told on what it means to be a man, and what women wanted, allegedly, from men, etc.

We all have our own road that we have traveled, are travelling & will travel. You have opened up and shared in depth, so allow me to return in kind.

Sky-O wrote:

searching for whatever I thought I needed to feel whole as a man, and I would be an unlikely candidate to go MGTOW. In a way, I doubt I would have ever found the light if I did not already walk through the darkness. It had to be that way.

The main thing I see here, is that you were searching, and this is the path & journey that lead you here. We men have had to go through (and are still) a major overhaul due to the extreme fundamental changes within the past few decades especially.

Speculating on coulda, woulda, shoulda or what might have been can often times be helpful in reflection & learning, etc., but the flip side of it can easily overshadow what did & is happening.

Sky-O wrote:

I wonder if I would still be chasing it all in a way and oblivious to the path that being MGTOW offers.

I too, catch myself having this type of train of thought, but for me at least, it’s of no consequence. What matters to me, is I went my own way before I knew anything about this site. Finding this site has/is strengthening my resolve the more I am here and the more I read and hear out others.

So, I touched on a few things that really hit home with me, that you shared. I used to be notorious for overthinking stuff, and fall back into it at times when I am not on top of it. Years of conditioning growing up and being married twice at about 8 yrs for each stint.

That’s a lot of deprogramming and bad habits, negative thinking, and a whole slew of other s~~~ to undo, or at least sort out in my head. You should not be having these thoughts (and/or feelings) of dilemma, fraud, unworthy, or allowing it to:

Sky-O wrote:

And that is essentially what has been weighing on me for the last couple of months.

You are home bro, so kick off your shoes and grab a cold one, and breathe in the free, and fresh air. You belong here here just as much as the next man.

Why???

Because you are one, and your searching lead you here.

Welcome Home

[BigDParticipant 3024]

You didn’t cheat to get here. As far as being young and having great sex at the time and not being MGTOW, that’s how biology works. Most of us have been there. Orgasms do funny things to a man’s brain at that age. It has to, otherwise no man would marry or get women pregnant.

You didn’t cheat to get here. We all take our own paths. We all found our way here, and that is what matters. Everyone of us has our reasons and experiences. This way when we see other brothers in need we can guide them, or point them to someone that went through the same thing.

I like a Presbyterian with my belief of MGTOW. If you ask me about MGTOW I will tell you. However, it is not my job to convert you.

Don't stick your dick into anyone you aren't willing to put up with for eighteen years and nine months.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Welcome! I’m glad you made it. Never mind which path you took. It led you here, and that’s what matters in the end.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[John Woods 13Participant 2855]

Be kind to yourself and drop all guilt or ill feelings.

This, I think, is the hardest thing to do. You need to accumulate negative feelings in order to have enough motivation to break free from the social programming and whatever feelings or emotions are holding you back. At the same time though, you need to keep that negativity in check so you don’t turn into a hate filled man and lose your character and morality. All of this while trying to feel good about all of it and keep your optimism that what you will achieve will be better that what you have. Not to mention the immediate feeling of loneliness, guilt and selfishness that we have been programmed to feel whenever we dare step out of the daily matrix grind.

Sky-O wrote:

I found a sanctuary after previously sacrificing my life goals, dreams and aspirations for years at the altar of everything that MGTOW stands against.

There is no reason to feel any guilt abut this. MGTOW is not something that you were supposed be, and yet you chose something else. MGTOW is not the natural goal for men, and you should somehow feel guilty for not choosing that path early on. No, MGTOW is a reaction, a self defense mechanism if you will, where men choose to go a different way because our nature can no longer be expressed in THIS CURRENT state of our society.
Many of us tried to stay both true to our nature AND comply to the current societal standards, and most of us arrived here severely wounded after trying to reconcile the two. Unfortunately, there is no longer an acceptable coexistence of the two and therefore you either choose your nature (Red Pill) or the current societal standards and IMPOSITIONS (Blue Pill).
What you are doing here is feeling guilty that you kept taking blue pills for 20 years and you feel you don’t deserve the fresh new red pill you received.
I say, on the contrary, not only should you not feel guilty, you should be p~~~ed the f~~~ off, that you spent time and resources following unicorns, when you could have spent all those resources improving yourself as a man.

F~~~ the guilt, and welcome to the resistance!

The answer is NO. “I could but I won’t”. Memini murum!

[mackiavelicParticipant 226]

im the one that feel like i cheated , ive become mgtow witouth having to go through anything bad from them. Im mgtow since ever. 32 years old now and feeling like im one of the few Lucky ones that came out of the pussy hell witouth loosing a single Feather. Most of mgtows came through hell before arriving here: most payed their due heavely . i consider you guys including sky o survivors , and i respect you all for coming out of it after everything you went through: Im the cheater; i used others experience listening and observing life of other men to arrive here ; and not my own experience.
Sky o you deserve your place among us and have thanks to your life expériences a lot more to offer to our other members then i will ever be able to.
glad to have you among us pal

[FrankyParticipant 2338]

Someone did say the idea of MGTOW is a lot beyond the individuals, and that we still haven’t fully grasped what we’ve discovered yet .But we will catch up eventually.
All of us are cheating.
We’re cheating life,
we’re cheating nature,
and we’re busting the doors to happiness and freedom wide open in the process.
Welcome and enjoy the air.

[Anonymous 29]

Sky-O wrote:

I am MGTOW . . . . But I Feel As If I Cheated To Get Here.

This has been bothering me for a long time.

Well, judging by your story I can hardly see how you may have cheated to get to this point. And even if you did does it matter ?
You may have some lingering doubts about the road you have decided to travel, but it’s a road out of a gynocentric societal prison.
Your doubts will disintegrate soon enough as you will see. The truth will set you free of any uncertainty.

Welcome . to MGTOW.

[Author]

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