Hypergamy & Suicide

[Sky-OParticipant 18934]

Today is the ten year anniversary of when a friend placed a gun to his head at about 3am and ended it all.

He was in the blue pill trenches. In the aftermath of a divorce, financial devastation and could only see his two kids with court supervised visits due to all of the lies his ex told in court. And she was off enjoying her new life with a younger guy that not only made more money but had inherited most of his wealth.

He was broken and there wasn’t much left.

I had to live with the weight and guilt in aftermath of that night for the last decade.

Without knowing what had happened, I received a phone call from his father on what turned out to be a few days later. He told me that he got my number off his son’s phone and was looking for answers as to what might have been going on after telling me what happened. He said that he called me because the call history showed that my number was the number my buddy called that night at 2:56am, with no other outgoing calls in the prior few days.

I immediately broke down crying because I remembered hearing my phone vibrate with that call, reaching for it from the bed I was in, seeing it was my buddy and throwing it back on my clothes that were on the floor.

Because. . .

I was still immersed in my own blue pill cognitive fog and was laying next to a pumpkin that I had banged that night and didn’t want to take the call and wake her up.

Even those of us that made it out alive, still bear scars. All par for the course considering the journey into hell and back.

But the scar left on me that was self inflicted on that night will haunt me forever.

I threw the phone back onto my jeans and shirt. . .

Because I didn’t want a pumpkin to wake up.

I was the last outgoing call on his phone that night before he ended it all. And I’ve spent the last decade of my life replaying that moment. Attempting to process it all on a level that would absolve me of the guilt.

As Captain Kilgore said in Apocalypse Now – ‘This war is going to end someday. . .’

Don’t let them win. Fight until your final hour: Even when the fighting means going ghost, covert, existing underground or in the shadows. Laying low and keep moving. Cherish every waking moment that you are immune from the blue pill mirage and temptations. Sh*ts getting real out there. More dangerous everyday. Channel and harness red pill wisdom and knowledge and don’t let this world break you.

Deo Vindice

[SwimcatParticipant 3589]

Yep, This week I heard of another guy I used to work with who pulled the trigger on himself. Over a women.

[MonkParticipant 16977]

I’ve been in several situations involving deaths and often wondered if I could have done more. But then, introspection is the mark of a moral being.

That’s not something cupcake could ever understand.

[TwistParticipant]

Don’t use the first bullet on yourself.

[Gravel PitParticipant]

Thats heavy man. A sobering thing to hear your story.
Its a bad joke, the wicked ability that women have to toy with a man’s emotions. Theyre merciless and cruel.

This one bitch I knew, played like a victim, when her boyfriend shot himself during a fight they had. I knew that man. Made me want to puke, to see her act like she was facing a hardship. She practically pulled the trigger.

peace on you Sky-O

[HermitParticipant]

Long ago, I went to school with a boy and a girl who wound up getting married and having kids. Not exactly sure of the circumstances, but the dude wound up shooting himself in front of the wife and kids. He wasn’t a bad guy either.

Twice in my life I’ve considered offing myself and both times it was over females. Really glad I didn’t do it. Both times, things worked out and life goes on just fine.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[Author]

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