How to treat your ex if you are forced to communicate with her (i.e. kids)

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

never thank her for anything, EVER
never except gifts from her, no matter how small, EVER
(i’m not having a good day)… don’t feel like writing more… please add to the list

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

I got a mail from my ex on my birthday.
I think not answering is not polite, but decided to make an exception.
I wold answer to my worst enemy, but her… don’t deserve it, no hate, no love just nothingness.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

I think it depends on the ex. They all have their triggers that you need to avoid. For example, my ex never gives me gifts, but if she did I would probably just say thanks and move on. With mine, the key is ZERO friction. She’s just looking for something to light on fire and start a fight. So it’s way easier to say thank you at the appropriate times, to be a little flexible, whatever it takes to force her to look else where for a fight.

I should also point out that I HAVE to deal with her for four more years until my youngest graduates high school and the divorce contract money is done. Then she can go f~~~ herself for all I care.

Of course, your mileage may vary.

Order the good wine

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22521]

Point Of No Return wrote:

never thank her for anything, EVER
never except gifts from her, no matter how small, EVER
(i’m not having a good day)… don’t feel like writing more… please add to the list

Only communicate by text with her and save the text.

Assume you are always being secretly recorded by her and you should be secretly recording her (within the legal realm the local laws allow you to do so).

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Carnage wrote:

I got a mail from my ex on my birthday.
I think not answering is not polite, but decided to make an exception.
I wold answer to my worst enemy, but her… don’t deserve it, no hate, no love just nothingness.

my ex did the same thing to me, and then a bro told me, “look dude it was probably just a reminder in fb that told her, so she thought she’d look good. i got the same thing a “Happy Birthday PONR!” “hope you have a good one”…sure, after you f~~~ over my life, yeah, happy, sure, mindless c~~~! ….

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Knight of the ApocalypseParticipant 326]

I have to deal with her for another three years until my youngest graduates but until then, no unnecessary contact, no bulls~~~ texts, phone calls, gifts or whatever. If it’s not about the kids, there is no reason for us to talk.. Period.

"Just ignore everything women say and nothing will annoy you ever again." - Cu Chulainn

[Anonymous 43]

I used to write in complete sentences. That got me in a harassment trial. Harassment defined as any unwanted communication. She didn’t want to hear “no” or how I found leaving our 9 year old daughter at home alone from 3 until 7 was unacceptable. Then I decided to keep communication limited to 10 words. This seemed too wordy and fraught with peril. Then I limited myself to 2 words. Again, too verbose. One word, usually “no”. If I really have to talk to her, I will pay the lawyer his required $2000 retainer, then he will have his assistant write a letter and send it to her lawyer. The c~~~ will pay her lawyer to have our lawyers send letters to each other. Honestly, It would be worth $2000 to have the lawyer tell the c~~~ F~~~ You Bitch. I would get a good laugh out of it, but even using the lawyer may not be immune from unwelcome communication and I will be up on trial once again. Yes, a real trial with real penalties like jail and fines. The lawyer wouldn’t do it anyways, something about not acting in the best interest of his client at all times would get him disbarred.

Fine. Silence is golden. I can’t talk to my kids anyways, another court order prevents that. I don’t want to risk contacting my 18 year old daughter out of fear of unwelcome communication harassment bulls~~~ charges.

So here I am f~~~ed 4 different ways. I could have the cure for all cancers and discover a way to turn s~~~ into gold and my kids are the only means of broadcasting it to the world, and I will probably do jail time for breaking the court order.

Stay the f~~~ away from women. Stay the f~~~ away from women. Do not approach, do not mingle, do not conoodle, do not f~~~ them, do not cohabitate, do not marry, do not have sexual relations with that woman, stay the f~~~ away from toxic women. There is only suffering and pain there.

Special snowflake today will turn deadly toxic tomorrow.

[Billy&The CloneasaurusParticipant]

Women LOVE this s~~~. I had an ex gf contact me after 10 years on Facebook (before I deleted it) to “apologize” to me for f~~~ing me over back then. Of course, her real motive is to gauge whether or not I still carry a torch for her. I gave her nothing. No reply whatsoever. Men grieve the end of a relationship much more severely than women do INITIALLY. Once we get over it, it never/very rarely crosses our minds again. Women grieve the exact opposite. They initially don’t care…ride as many dicks as possible…live the sex and the city lifestyle. However, once the fun stops, they dwell on what could have been. They obsess over this, and wonder if their ex still has any feeling for them. Did the vagina magic wear off yet?? They must know! By that stage, the man couldn’t care less. Women and men truly are opposites.

But, if you have kids with a woman and she f~~~s you over and leaves, she is in your life FOREVER. This is the position they want to be in. They can’t be a good wife, but they still want to keep that hook set deep in your mouth.

The answer, is no.

[shaunozParticipant 512]

years ago… I asked her – few basic/polite questions – by email. Info needed for the kids schools ? or for the business tax. Nothing controversial or triggering.. Weeks went past.. No reply. Then she wanted something – unrelated. She sent email with her question to me. My response — was to cut paste my original unanswered questions – add nothing more. The point is — sure you go ahead and ignore. But that becomes the blocker on ANY conversation. Any further reply – I just cut and paste the same block of text – adding nothing more – until they were answered. She answered one question fully — I removed it from the list .. and cut/paste the text – add nothing more.. She partially answered — I left the question in .. Then finally she goT the message and after several days of back and forth – with me adding NOTHING – only resendiNG my original questions — all were eventually answered fully… Then she re-asked her question – i ANSWERED “yes”. sHE GOT THE MESSAGE – DO NOT IGNORE WHAT i ASK …. and also — keep any comminications to absolute bare minimum. final point – after a few years she phoned me out of the blue — she said “Hi its <first-name>” … my deadpan reply.. showing no recogition.. was ” <first-name> who ?”.. She wasc still using my surname… and let me tell you … it totally trigggered her ! haha. She started shouting, so I hung up. NEver lose your cool . 😉

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

I’ve ignored my ex’s emails at times. One day she wanted to know why. I told her that either the question she was asking was unimportant to me, or it was something that could be handled at a later time. This didn’t stop her from sending me emails every now and then, to which I replied every now and then, as my whim fancied. The point is that it’s very hard to get a woman to be quiet when she thinks you owe her something. Anybody who has tried ignoring a self-righteous woman knows that ignoring her will not stop her from making demands on you, that is, until her own sense of pride kicks in, then she’ll most likely start to leave you alone a little.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[ConstantineParticipant 4417]

Point Of No Return wrote:

never except gifts from her, no matter how small, EVER

When does that ever happen anyway?

To see what is in front of one's nose requires a constant struggle. -Orwell

[OldschoolParticipant 2481]

I can’t stand communicating with her, usually over text. My mood sours instantly, 4 more years of it until my daughter is 18.

Get a vasectomy.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Constantine wrote:

Point Of No Return wrote:

never except gifts from her, no matter how small, EVER

When does that ever happen anyway?

I think it’s the way some women try to soften the guy up. But, one thing is for sure, it’s only to get something in return, like the stairs fixed in the basement or some other job she can’t do, or can’t afford. It’s usually a token gift, of the less-than-ten-bucks kind.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Oldschool wrote:

I can’t stand communicating with her, usually over text. My mood sours instantly, 4 more years of it until my daughter is 18.

Same here, my mood instantly goes into what-a-drag mode.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[CrowbarParticipant 192]

I feel the same way as you guys and I’m still married. I can’t stand to talk to her or even be around her and I have 13 years until my kids are out of HS.

[BoskParticipant 111]

Crowbar wrote:

I feel the same way as you guys and I’m still married. I can’t stand to talk to her or even be around her and I have 13 years until my kids are out of HS.

Lucky me.
7 years left 😉

[narwhalParticipant]

I agree that it depends on the ex. Lucky for me (I guess) my ex and I rarely disagree on parenting. I’ve set boundaries money pretty well I think, and she doesn’t really enjoy testing the boundaries very much.

My ex will assist the kids on getting me father’s day stuff, birthday, but I don’t believe she does it for me, she does it for the kids. That’s fine. I don’t do the same as she has a husband. I’d be surprised if that doesn’t stop when the kids are old enough to drive and such.

We do not have social calls, but we will be social when we are at one of the kids events. Nothing really to deep. “How’s your mom”…stuff like that.

I never ever compliment her, give opinions on her personal life, or really show any emotion towards her life whatsoever. Just a blank stare. She just had a big career change, and I haven’t said a word on it.

She also wears dresses a lot less conservatively than she ever wore when we were married. That could be for my benefit, could be a change in her. Could be that she assumed I wouldn’t like the look. Whatever. Again, I don’t acknowledge it.

I don’t quite feel that all contact will end once the kids pass 18, go to college, etc. There will still be holidays and events to work out, and I don’t want to make life difficult for my kids then either.

Kind of an aside…both my kids have done something a little odd lately. They have tried to get a 3 way hug between me, themselves, and there mom. Obviously, it’s not happening, but it’s as if they are expressing that they feel mom+dad+kid is the way it’s suppose to be, even after all these years.

Ok. Then do it.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

narwhal wrote:

I agree that it depends on the ex. Lucky for me (I guess) my ex and I rarely disagree on parenting. I’ve set boundaries money pretty well I think, and she doesn’t really enjoy testing the boundaries very much.

My ex will assist the kids on getting me father’s day stuff, birthday, but I don’t believe she does it for me, she does it for the kids. That’s fine. I don’t do the same as she has a husband. I’d be surprised if that doesn’t stop when the kids are old enough to drive and such.

We do not have social calls, but we will be social when we are at one of the kids events. Nothing really to deep. “How’s your mom”…stuff like that.

I never ever compliment her, give opinions on her personal life, or really show any emotion towards her life whatsoever. Just a blank stare. She just had a big career change, and I haven’t said a word on it.

She also wears dresses a lot less conservatively than she ever wore when we were married. That could be for my benefit, could be a change in her. Could be that she assumed I wouldn’t like the look. Whatever. Again, I don’t acknowledge it.

I don’t quite feel that all contact will end once the kids pass 18, go to college, etc. There will still be holidays and events to work out, and I don’t want to make life difficult for my kids then either.

Kind of an aside…both my kids have done something a little odd lately. They have tried to get a 3 way hug between me, themselves, and there mom. Obviously, it’s not happening, but it’s as if they are expressing that they feel mom+dad+kid is the way it’s suppose to be, even after all these years.

mom+dad+kid… I’ve had to deal with that one too. My six year old, then asked his mom, she scoffed. Unbelievable. Must suck to be her.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[OldschoolParticipant 2481]

Had to deal with her again this morning. How does a simple “Drop her off at 6pm today and I’ll have her back at around noon Sunday” turn into a 15 text s~~~ show? God I hate it!!!

Get a vasectomy.

[JackpineParticipant 283]

I’m so close to being done with communicating with my ex! We both chip in to help our youngest in college but that will be done in another semester. No more figuring that all out anymore. I’ll still be paying alimony but there is no back and forth about that s~~~. It just is. I talk to her dad and step mom far more than her. I’m ok with that. Hang in there brothers.

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