How to raise daughters

[groutardParticipant 4]

So here I am, in a divorce process for almost a year now, being the nice guy while she keeps bitching and lying to court, police…and no consequence for her. Fortunately, no one trusts her lies anymore, and I am seen as I am – the nurturing Dad of 2 little girls of 5 and 3. Despite the many evidences thrown at my face for months, I only woke up a few weeks ago (see my intro for more details). I read a lot of threads here and watched a lot of videos, especially Sandman’s. Read a bunch of books, the Manipulated Man being my current reading. Still learning how to live and trying to understand how blind I was.

The fight is far from being over but I am a much stronger man now. My biggest concern right now is: how can I raise my two little girls properly? I understand it’s women’s nature to use men with emotional and psychological tricks. But I love my daughters and wants what’s best for them. And using men is not what’s best for them. They deserve to be strong individuals that can achieve their dreams while respecting other human beings, not prostitute themselves to a male provider, exchanging resources against sexual treats.

I raise them to try hard and get achievement feeling doing so. I am trying to not reward them too much, but it’s hard. I don’t give them something when they ask for it, I feel they need to earn it, but if there’s something I believe can benefit them, I have trouble not buying it right away, even though I know it could give them a sense of entitlement.

My 5 yrs old is quite much in a Princess phase. I never saw an issue of watching some Disney movies until now. When she was going too far in her plays or wishes, I’d remind her she can’t become a princess, and princess are not even like you see them in Disney movies. But I actively participated in that propaganda, you know, the Frozen one. I actually enjoyed that movie. Yes, it has the princess bs, but I liked the sisterhood thing and some pretty fun moments. Also my mother purchased these books, it’s a series of 27 books, called “perfect princess”. I like them because they are good advice on life and are fun to read. Even before my red pill wake up, I however had trouble with the “perfect princess” thing, and I would replace “perfect princess” by something silly. So basically, it depicts a little girl, Zoey, that behaves like a little b*tch, and next page, it starts with “but when she becomes a perfect princess, Zoey…” and tells what a good human being does. What now? I can’t remove all princess movies and books from her life like that – and even if I did it, her friends, school, neighbors,…would still distill that princess bs to her. On a brighter side, she also have a thirst for knowledge – universe, dinosaurs, human body, drawing and learning to read and write… which is more what I believe is useful and positive for her.

I didn’t speak much of my 3yrs old. To tell you how much of a mangina I was, I named her after an anime I liked as a kid, about a princess that becomes broke and overcomes everything to become a princess again. She is still young so she doesn’t buy all that princess bs yet, so I am less worried about her at this point. However, they are both very well interested in their looks, dresses and hairdos.

A word about the mother. Psychological issues, never been very nurturing. Interested by them mostly because she feels entitled to them and because there’s an possibly of alimony there. She is indeed a princess that never did much of her life (both professionally and at home), and a perfect reflect of her own mother. She is fully on the princess bs with the girls.

So to other Dads out there, any tips on how to raise daughters? Can they become unicorns and have the happy life I want for them, instead of screwing their lives the way society and their own nature is making them do?

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

I’ve been there man. I could go on and on about do this, don’t do that etc.

However, just stay focused on your girls. Whatever position you end up in …. just keep doing your best. Every day, hour and minute.

They will show you, help lead the way. Trust in your feeling and not those of others.

Keep banging away. Your love will outlast all the s~~~.

Just keep letting them feel and know you love them no matter what happens.

[iamblichusParticipant 34]

I am interested in this topic as my daughters are about the same distance apart, only a year younger (age 2 and 4). Not divorcing yet but my wife sort of has me by the b~~~~ at this point, and if she does pull the trigger on a divorce, I am pretty screwed. So I just try to be the best dad as possible and see my marriage more as a business partnership where I am a junior partner. It sucks, but at least I see my kids everyday and get to spend time with them (they even co-sleep with me because they can’t sleep by themselves).

I am also recent to exploring this whole MGTOW thing, and while I don’t buy a lot of it, as a philosophy it may work for me, as I am a loner anyway, and I am beginning to realize that, in our context at least, women can’t really love men. Or as someone put it, men love women, and women love shoes. I’d also chime in that some women love their children, but that might be because they see them like shoes, but I don’t know. Either way, men are left out of that equation, as we are essentially “useless” in their eyes in the relationship and they see themselves as tolerating our presence. At least that’s how I feel. I am just trying to detach myself from my wife as much as possible, I barely talk to her except when it is demanded by politeness or necessary, and I just focus on my girls.

As for how to raise them, yes, they are both into the princess thing. My wife is a STEM Ph.D. so it’s not like they are going to be raised as mindless bimbos (though it could happen). She is also an “objectively” good mother in that she spends little on herself and most of the money on the girls, is a good cook, and is always looking out for their health. But our marriage is essentially dead, though we keep up a rather poor front for friends and family. She doesn’t touch me at all, let alone kiss me, etc. As for the kids, yeah, I know that it isn’t healthy to see us like this, even though we don’t fight and barely speak to each other. My wife basically has abdicated her marriage vows, and sees nothing wrong with this, always has an excuse as to why I am “killing her” with my lack of care or foibles or whatever. I think I subscribe to the position that you can’t fight nature: women will be how they are and the societal dynamics will take advantage of that, perhaps for them to lure in some simp and do the whole thing that happened with their dad over again, only a few decades removed.

In other words, to use the lingo, I don’t think it’s possible to raise a “NAWALT”. If in a relationship with a man, they are going to do what’s optimum for them, and that will probably entail throwing the dude under the bus. And I’ll probably still love them, though it may sadden me. I just look at my in-laws, who live close by, who know we aren’t happy but just turn a blind eye because they are busy with other things. They’re nice people, but I’ll always be the sperm-donor, and their daughter may have issues but she’s still their daughter. My wife would be “NAWALT” material because she is a trained engineer and neuroscientist, she doesn’t crave constant socialization with other women, and indeed is really annoyed with estrogen-fueled drama. But she still treats me like s~~~ and probably sees nothing wrong with that, and puts me through constant s~~~ tests while telling me that, if I don’t like it, I can leave. So I stay because of my daughters. Most days it’s tolerable, but I still know I am in a trap and there’s no way out.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Get this book. At very least, it will make you smile from time to time.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

I’ve raised mine from age 4 to almost 11.  Every year is different after 5.  Around age 7 you must teach them to earn their own money.  Always talk in terms of ‘earn’ — never ‘reward’.  Never for being good, always for doing good.  That is how I fight entitlement culture.

Also, I just told my daughter that I wasn’t automatically going to send her to college.  She has to earn it.  I suggested that instead of college, if she earns it, I’ll start her in business.  I explained that with a college degree, she can make average money, like her mom; or do better, like me.  I asked her if she would rather have a boss or be the boss.  If she takes the bait, it should save me a few hundred K that I’d rather not spend on a 5-year sorrority party.

I recommend ahaparenting.com it is an excellent resource, and serves as a great jumping off site to some really effective parenting methods.  Don’t skip the hard academic reading; it is where you will find the best tools.  They really helped me, and so far, so good.

I know that I will sound like a lunatic by plugging this dude, but f~~~ing stefan molyneux’s freedomainradio youtube channel has some really helpful stuff in his ‘peaceful parenting’, and ‘the bomb in the brain’ playlists.  Start with the bomb in the brain series.  I know the guy is a f~~~tard, but he really helped me become a better dad.  (almost ashamed to say it).  Haha don’t let me poison the well if you’ve never heard of him.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

I have my 6.5 yo daughter with me every weekend and she’s the love of my life.

As far as princess s~~~ goes – I always tell her – you’re not a princess, because I am not a king and your mom is not a queen.
Disney stuff is programming, but it’s not as bad as Barbie s~~~ – keep them away from that bulls~~~ at all cost!!!

The good book I would recommend to listen is – “Strong fathers strong daughters”. It’s written by a female, but it has a lot of valuable stuff in there about the importance of father figure, especially when dealing with teenage daughters. Highly recommend!

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[RedwolfParticipant 38]

Interesting to me to see how many of us are in this situation.  My daughters are 6 and 4 and I ask myself this same question daily.  In my case, I know the ex is constantly badmouthing me to them and I actually had to have a conversation with them about when the cum dumpster did so directly in front of me this weekend at the 4 years old’s dance recital.

Interesting conversation ensued about discussing that it was never ok for either of us to say mean and nasty things about the other parent in front of them.  The reaction was very good honestly.  The kids see that the parent that isn’t mean and nasty is the one that truly loves them and wants the best for them.  It’s a long road, but sticking with it will net you the win in the end.

[нσтησσвParticipant 830]

I’m only 23, so i can’t say much 😛

But; i’ve figured that if i ever get/have a daughter i will raise her as if i were raising a son.
Teach and participate with skill development, and be the best roll model that you can be.
Always remember that children are your legacy; part of what your leaving behind for the world when you die.

Just from what i observe on a daily basis; i see 2 major things wrong with the majority of parents today.
1. They can’t even take care of themselves and shouldn’t be raising a kid in the first place
2. They aren’t involved enough and / or don’t give a rats ass about their children.

That’s what i have so far in terms of my thoughts on this subject; still only 23, probably a long ways away from children, especially in this society.

My Goal: To Leave Society.

[narwhalParticipant]

I have an 8 year old daughter and 11 year old son (and 14 year old ex step son).  The difference between my daughter and the boys is pretty stark.   The eldest is kinda lazy, but he handles his own for the most part.   The 11 year old is the most ‘aware’, but I fear he could go blue pill as he has a strong sense of ‘doing the right thing’ and taking care of those with less then him.  He could easily get used for that.

As for my daughter though, it’s not so much that she has a sense of entitlement, she just doesn’t have a strong desire to take care of herself, or really even pay that much attention to what’s going on around her much of the time.  You can ask her what day of the week it is, and she often won’t know.  It doesn’t matter to her because someone is going to tell her what she needs to do that day.  She is not overweight by a long shot, but is conscious of her belly fat.  Yet, she has little desire to exercise or watch what she eats.    She relies on others to set her boundaries for her.  She’d rather complain and whine about something that deal with it.  And it is not as though she isn’t smart or capable.  She is.

So my response is to ask her (and the boys) a lot of questions.  Get them to think for themselves.   I get upset with her when she’s not paying attention, but that doesn’t really work very well.  She’s going to have to have some failures I think before she gets it.  When she gets older, I’m going to really make sure she understands that she needs to plan on getting a career all the things she wants from life, kids included, same as the boys.  She can not plan on having a husband for that, the same as the boys can’t depend on a wife.  I am sure they the kids don’t really realize that I am financially supporting them, but they will when the time comes.  (Not trying to make my ex look bad, but they need to know what pays the bills).

I’m not raising her like a boy exactly, but we live in an equal society, so she must expect equal treatment.  I want her to question everything she’s told and seem the truth, same as the boys.

Ok. Then do it.

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