How to avoid shaming from Divorce?

[hadenough1969Participant 539]

I seem to be getting lots of shaming these days now that I am in the middle of my second divorce.

The attitude is something like, “wow, you must suck since you can’t stay married” Questions like, “This is your second one right? This is the second time right? You were divorced before right?” or some variation on the theme.

It is weird how the 2nd one seems to carry such a negative stigma compared to the first…and all the blame seems to rest on me…like no way could there be a problem with the female side of the equation.

My sister in law told me to my face last week, “no offense but your “picker” seems to have some issues. You just can’t seem to pick a good one.”

Any suggestions for good comebacks or ways to diffuse these kinds of conversations?

[HitmanParticipant]

Bro..When my marriage failed I thought I failed.
I didn’t.
Understand that and their words will mean nothing.

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

Shame them back…
Say “How rude of you! If I wanted to talk to you about my divorce, I would have.”

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

There are all kinds of witty comebacks:

Where were you and your opinion when I was saying I do–you’re a little late?
Yes I’m pretty easy to swindle, are you going to sell me a bridge next?
Yeah its tough! Finding a good woman is like finding lips on a chicken.
Well 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce, I’ve flipped a coin twice and it came up tails—twice.

Just kidding. Shame can only be effective when you internalize fault of some kind. Don’t let anyone plant that seed in your garden!

Witty quips aside there is always the tried and true response which has a long and noble history down through the ages: “F~~~ off Asshole”.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Q: “How to avoid shaming from Divorce?”
A: “Never Marry.”

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10911]

I don’t have any flashy come backs. I bet most of these comments come from women. Naturally it’s your fault because you are the man. Whenever something fails in a relationship it’s always assumed that it’s the man’s fault. Like Hitman, I too felt like I had failed. I was embarrassed as well because as men, we try to find solutions to problems. In reference to the problem in my marriage, I couldn’t find a solution other than divorce which didn’t make sense to me because failure cannot be a solution to any problem. It wasn’t until I realized that I didn’t fail that I began to feel better about the situation and the solution.
Try to not let the comments bother you.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[hadenough1969Participant 539]

Thanks guys…I guess body armor/tough skin is the real answer.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

Special for your sister-in-law. “It seems like every man in my family has the same problem with picking s~~~heads.”

Seriously though if a car had only a fifty percent chance of going that model would left on dealer’s lots. If 50 percent of a particular computer was dead in the box the replacement model would be released within a couple weeks.

All of the media, family advice, and friendly talks fed you advertising for a faulty product. A product that sucks while you have it, and with a rotten return policy too.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

hadenough1969 wrote:

Thanks guys…I guess body armor/tough skin is the real answer.

Apologies if I sounded flippant earlier.

Be honest with the family. Own your own shortcomings, but don’t shy away from telling the truth about your ex. By some estimates 90% of divorces are initiated by the female. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

PistolPete wrote:

Don’t let anyone plant that seed in your garden!

Yeah
You only suffer from what you accept or allow.
You can say it just like that
“I don’t accept your shaming language”
or stronger
“You can’t bully me into feeling guilty”.
When you talk straight at the issue it lets the person know you are ready to stand your ground.
You can turn a deaf ear and not internalize it too.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[Anonymous 0]

PistolPete wrote:

Witty quips aside there is always the tried and true response which has a long and noble history down through the ages: “F~~~ off Asshole”.

Took the words right out of my mouth!!

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

They attempt to shame Tom Leykis all the time about being married and divorced four times. His response: “I saw my parents had a happy marriage so I believed it was possible but that I must just be doing something wrong so I kept trying. After the fourth one, I figured out it wasn’t me.”

[PuniShredderParticipant 2268]

I would’ve said I’m a slow learner but now I know all women are bat s~~~ f~~~ing crazy and it’s impossible to find a “good one” 🙂

I’m sure the look on her face would’ve been priceless.

Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

By not giving a f~~~ what anyone else thinks of you.

Why do you care what anyone else thinks of you?

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[Masculine_ManParticipant 2735]

Tell her the truth, your second wife is a terrible person. Own your own shortcomings but obviously she did not want to take you for sickness/health, richer/poorer and till death do you part.

If it costs you your peace of mind, then it is too expensive.

[AILIONParticipant 39]

Hello Gentlemen,

Its happening sooner than later women are experiencing a 55% increase in homelessness an in Connecticut it’s a 119% increase (Yes, I said 119% state by the connecticut-post/New York Time, but I am indifferent an I don’t care, they are strong an independent: they don’t need a man.) and marriage is obsolete for the majority of males when considering (divorce/alimony/child-support/pay-for-thier-education/pension/401k/investments/propert-assets gets taken/children_gets_taken).

This is a link to women center;

<http://www.downtownwomenscenter.org/homelesscount2016&gt;, these women have opportunity where they literally can get everything without even working for it?!

To top it off they want men being women in the house doing women behavior an work (trying to phscologialy rewire male primitive instinct to be a female, yet what happens when we get invade an they get (ass-rape), Oh! wait we need strong masculine men to help defend us ( we can manipulate (using our bodies/sexual gesture) loser guys/manginas/white-knights that couldn’t get vagina but were are strong an independent?). And just so people know, I went out with plenty of attractive female (ladies although I thought, yet they are not even warranted the honor of being called a women.) These females that I went out with told me at the end they were married an hid their weeding ring after the fact I was intimate with them, they got mad at me for dumping them because they told me they were married an acted like it was my fault (an trying to get me fired in the process)?!

Even in the military they are not held to the same standard as men (in was in service, most of my family), yet they get promoted faster than men, yet can’t compete physically an always need to hold their hands? Why fight for a country that doesn’t recognize you fairly? Didn’t Kennedy said, “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”

As I said Gentlmen,

“Hell knows no carnage like a man with nothing to lose” (Ailion_MGTOW).

and

Prover 31:3

3 Don’t spend all your energy on sex and all your money on women; they have destroyed kings (Biblegateway).

[RorschachParticipant 2083]

hadenough1969 wrote:

Any suggestions for good comebacks or ways to diffuse these kinds of conversations?

It sounds like your giving way too many f~~~s. Thats a huge problem. First off your not divorced your single (presentation is key). Your not damaged goods your lifes not over. It’s really not a big deal, sure people like to have snarky comments. Let them have them and dont give a f~~~ either way. If someone asks you why simply tell them you enjoy being single so much you wouldnt dare f~~~ that up. If you really want to f~~~ with them tell them to give you a list of 15 compelling reasons why as a MAN being married is better than being single. Either way the no f~~~s given approach is MGTOW gold and it is so for good reason. It’s actually quite liberating to just let that go, understanding everyone will have their opinions. Your the captain now sir, if you cant make them walk the plank, leave them at shore.

hadenough1969 wrote:

My sister in law told me to my face last week, “no offense but your “picker” seems to have some issues. You just can’t seem to pick a good one.”

P.S shes full of s~~~, unicorns do not exist

The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"....... and i'll look down and whisper "No."

[foghornleghornParticipant 3449]

hadenough1969 wrote:

My sister in law told me to my face last week, “no offense but your “picker” seems to have some issues. You just can’t seem to pick a good one.”

Your luck seems to suck as well to have a c~~~ like that for a sister in law.

[Anonymous 0]

hadenough1969 wrote:

I seem to be getting lots of shaming these days now that I am in the middle of my second divorce.

The attitude is something like, “wow, you must suck since you can’t stay married” Questions like, “This is your second one right? This is the second time right? You were divorced before right?” or some variation on the theme.

I got divorced twice. To be honest, I don’t remember those kinds of questions being a problem for me. I just owned the fact that I didn’t have good luck picking women and used it as an excuse to take some time off from relationships. I basically said, “Yeah, I really do seem to be s~~~ at picking women. I need to take some time off from marriage and get my head straight.”

Even now, years later, I still use it as an excuse: “I was married for 20 years over two marriages and ended up divorced both times. I paid my dues, and I don’t see myself marrying again. Just not going to happen.”

These days, I carry my two divorces like a badge of honor. Like a combat decoration earned in the marriage wars.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Anonymous wrote:

Even now, years later, I still use it as an excuse: “I was married for 20 years over two marriages and ended up divorced both times. I paid my dues, and I don’t see myself marrying again. Just not going to happen.”

These days, I carry my two divorces like a badge of honor. Like a combat decoration earned in the marriage wars.

I can totally relate (2 wives also) no one can accuse you of not trying or blame you for not wanting to try a 3rd time. It’s harder to go after someone who is old enough to know better.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

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