How should I handle this?

[Remove me!Participant]

This might be more of a venting type post than anything, but I’d like to get some input. My ex and I have to coparent together. Over the years, I have built up my arsenal with phone recordings, text messages, etc. in case I find myself in court again.
During our divorce, she told me she was taking our child away from me with only supervised visitation. I told her she can suck my dick, that ain’t happenin!

After over a year fighting between lawyers, I got about 40% physical custody and 50/50 legal custody. In the beginning of this, she didn’t need me, and in fact I was not making her happy, so she left me to find her happiness.

I’ve already found my happiness, that is being a daddy. I love it. But I still have to deal with the ex a lot because of our child together. Now our child is so smart, she sees right through her mom’s bulls~~~ and they are constantly fighting. I NEVER have a problem with our kid, nor anyone else except my ex. Now she sees she does need me! Ironic.

Finally, I have to deal with this woman throwing fits like a 10 year old, and I am just tired of it. I told her the day our child turns 18, you will never see me again. I’m counting down the days till I get paroled. People say, “Well, you’ll see her at graduation or when your child gets married!” Sure, but I can see her at a distance. Don’t have to deal with her anymore.

Sorry guys, I just needed to vent. I don’t know what I saw in this woman when I voluntarily dated her and married her in our early twenties. I would’ve preferred to get hooked on meth. Then at least I could go to rehab and get rid of that soul sucking problem faster than 18 years!

Happy Labor Day MGTOW brothers.

Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

LOL…Nice one…Good luck in weathering the storm to your freedom…Be careful because the ex might soon become demure and virginal and then suck your dick…LOL…Cheers brother…Glad to know that you are enjoying being a dad…
I too wished to become a dad but dont want to deal with women nowadays…Too narcissistic…

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[AwakenedParticipant 35202]

YOU are doing FINE.

Keep doing what YOU DO for YOUR kid.

The ex is just an inconvenient obstacle, but a VERY TEMPORARY ONE.

It’s LARGELY due to your ex being such a complete BITCH that has allowed you to assimilate the Red Pill which has had a positive impact in your current state of mind.

My suggestion to you is NOT to hate the bitter ole Hag, Not to Pity the Wretch that she has become, but just do your best to IGNORE her mere existence as much as possible.

ONLY talk to her as NEEDED, and sparingly at that. Whenever i think I NEED/SHOULD talk to the Hag about the kids or some other mutual “issue”, I usually wait a day or two to see if I even remember. Often times, I have found that I can let even more things slide. LESS Communication is a Dam Good Thing !!

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

You know the answer.

Big ol’ nothing.

Been there done that. Sucks. The trick is to learn to plant your feet firmly on the ground and face into the wind.

It is truly amazing the first time it works. Suddenly, it is just wind blowing around you. You don’t hear anything but the raging storm of s~~~.

When she explodes and you hear something faintly like wipe that smug look off your face, you know your there.

I did the drop off s~~~ for years. The trick is to say nothing. No hello, no okay, no goodbye, no nothing. Just face into the wind. Put duct tape on your mouth or pretend.

Also, with your daughter, no mom talk. Ever.

That’s all I got about that s~~~.

Peace brothers

[AwakenedParticipant 35202]

DorkShit wrote:

It is truly amazing the first time it works. Suddenly, it is just wind blowing around you. You don’t hear anything but the raging storm of s~~~.

I practice giving her NOTHIN whenever SHE starts in with HER S~~~.

The Ole Hag started in on me the other day. I IGNORED HER ASS, and that made HER Rage a lil more, but I left the situation…

She tried HER CRAP yet again yesterday, this time she was still being a Bitch but I IGNORED HER yet again, and she quickly changed her tune, and she re-directed her Bitching Bulls~~~. I replied minimally, and I was GONE AGAIN.

THEY so badly WANT/DESIRE/NEED to FIGHT, and drag YOU into THEIR S~~~. Well, I’m Done Playin Along.
Then they wonder why they’re OLD and ALONE with NOTHIN but cats…….

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[IRuleMeParticipant]

Most of what she is saying and doing is being done to illicit a reaction. She’s trying to see how you behave. Give her nothing. Remain resolute. Focus on yourself, and your child. She should be a fly buzzing around the ass of a horse. A horse pays no mind. Only giving the periodic swat with it’s hairs.

[Anonymous 0]

You might want to check out the book “Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone With Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder” by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD and Randi Kreger, published 2011.

A lot of these really wacko, combative ex’es have Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders. A spouse with BPD or NPD is the nightmare scenario, because they’re combative and uncooperative every step of the way. So the book really walks you through every step, giving you lots of detail on how to handle things when the spouse is uncooperative or downright hostile.

It’s mainly about how to handle divorcing those kinds of spouses–court battles and all that. But it also has chapters on what happens after the divorce: How to handle co-parenting, custody battles, etc. If you’re interested, check out the reviews for the book at Amazon.

[Remove me!Participant]

Thanks for the encouragement and advise my brothers. You are right, I was blue pill before the divorce. I KNEW that I could only be a true man if I worked hard, and gave everything to my wife. It was a sense of pride for me at the time. Then, one day, she said she didn’t need me anymore (I know, never has a woman ever said this), but I was confused.
I have very solid boundaries that have been tested over the past years, but they have never moved. But yesterday I just bluntly told her after she was wondering why our child doesn’t respect her ever. I told her she shows NO ONE, including me any basic respect what so ever. Then I told her the only reason we are even having a conversation right now is because of our child. And at the age of 18, she will never see me again. I’m already planning on moving out of the city to start a ranch and raise livestock when our child is 18. That is what keeps me going, knowing I will be building that ranch and doing man things like planting crops, etc.

I NEVER bad mouth my ex around our child, and in fact I give her tons of respect in front of our child (which is 100% fake), but I’m a good actor.

But after I serve my time in this prison of co parenting, I’m going to f~~~ off and retire from the game. A lot of people wonder why I won’t remarry and have more children because I’m a great dad and I love being a dad. But you guys understand. I will NOT become a “stud horse” for another woman putting myself in the same position having to spend even more time in this prison. I’m just doing my time, and will be paroled early for good behavior.

Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.

[BoarParticipant]

You are handling it quite well. That is what is upsetting her. She sees your happiness and realizes that you have achieved what she was after and that is driving her crazy.

Stay the course, study your charts. You will get through this and have a relationship with your child that will make your ex envious.

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[Remove me!Participant]

Anonymous wrote:

You might want to check out the book “Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone With Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder” by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD and Randi Kreger, published 2011.

A lot of these really wacko, combative ex’es have Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders. A spouse with BPD or NPD is the nightmare scenario, because they’re combative and uncooperative every step of the way. So the book really walks you through every step, giving you lots of detail on how to handle things when the spouse is uncooperative or downright hostile.

It’s mainly about how to handle divorcing those kinds of spouses–court battles and all that. But it also has chapters on what happens after the divorce: how to handle co-parenting, custody battles, etc. If you’re interested, check out the reviews for the book at Amazon.

Thanks Two Step, will do! Fortunately I had/have a great lawyer and over the years I’ve learned what I need to do to protect myself legally. It is the Cold War between me and her. She has a few nukes, but my stockpile is so great, even though I keep my cards close to my chest, she knows if she wants to take me to court again, she will lose so much more if the war escalates than I will. I’m smarter than she is. And I think she knows she doesn’t want to release this pit bull out of it’s cage.

Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.

[GregB0Participant]

You are doing the right thing by being their for your daughter and showing her that there is a place in her life for you. Leaving early will only enable your ex the opportunity to remove you permanently from your daughter’s life.

While it totally sucks, stay the course and you and your daughter will be much better for it in the end. Best of luck

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

[TaxGuyParticipant]

You’re doing great JD. I can only tell you what’s worked with my ex, and that is not responding to anything that doesn’t have to do with the kids. When she starts in on anything else, she gets no response. Or a “that sucks” at the most. Eventually she learned that she can’t get me mad and she won’t get anything from me. So she has for most part stopped.

The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy. She may be trying to see if you still care by getting you p~~~ed off. You don’t get mad at things or people you don’t care about. If she’s a narcissist, they also do it to steal energy from you. They can’t make their own energy, so they need to create drama in order to take energy away from you.

Keep it up, it gets better. My ex has told me that she knows when our kids turn 18 she’ll never hear from me again. I didn’t have to say it, she already knows it. However, I WILL outlive her, just so I can’t p~~~ on her grave stone and laugh my ass off!

Order the good wine

[RemovedParticipant 4676]

Keep on keeping on! You are doing the right thing, and a damn good job from the sound of it. Each day is one day closer to cutting off that withering limb.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Remove me! wrote:

How should I handle this?

Remove me! wrote:

In the beginning of this, she didn’t need me, and in fact I was not making her happy, so she left me to find her happiness.

You can’t “make” a woman happy.

“FIND” is the keyword in there. She is perfectly capable of creating happiness, but blaming you for her misery is her own goddam problem. So is being a “happy chaser”. One of the first, best ways to be miserable to look to “find happiness” elsewhere.

…. especially when she doesn’t see the value in being content.

Content is where it’s at.
When a man is content, “happiness” is certain to follow.

You will never be able to teach a woman that, because she expects to be “made happy”.

How do you handle it? Fortunately you don’t have to.
Because her happiness is not your cardio.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 42]

Keymaster wrote:

Content is where it’s at.
When a man is content, “happiness” is certain to follow.

You will never be able to teach a woman that, because she expects to be “made happy”.

Our “content” nature is what designates us as the trees in the hypergamy forest, Women “looking” for “happiness” is what makes them the branch grabbing monkeys that leap from tree to tree, the only thing that makes us cheat is when we’re actively engaging in sex and addicted to it’s pleasures then having it turned off stone cold, a roller coaster for you mind that takes you through mental hell.

It’s just as cruel as depriving a junky his heroin. If she turns off you kick her the f~~~ out and get another, and another, and another, and another, and another,,,,

Or take the MGTOW shortcut, stop wasting your life, you can’t make an extortionist happy, they always want more and in the end they destroy you.

The damages to society are irreversible and endless. I’m glad I bowed out and bid farewell…

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

Lots of great advice on this thread. I have a borderline ex and two young children with 50/50 custody. The only thing I can add (which you likely are well aware of already) is don’t ever find yourself alone with her!!!

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22523]

I don’t know if I would give mom tons of respect if you do not really mean it. Better just to say nothing than lie to your kid because you think that is better than saying nothing. Don’t build anyone up if you don’t believe it. IF you really want to be who you are around your daughter just don’t trash her, but don’t elevate/inflate your ex either. Just do neither. Be factual, concise, talk about it as least as you can, because the thing is, in a short while you will never have to really talk about her that much again. And you won’t be bringing her up on your own, you are MOVING ON.

thing is talking her up can still come around to bite you on the ass. your daughter at some future point may wonder if mom really was okay and you weren’t as good as she thought you are now. It happens when they go to college. She could go AWALT real easy in todays universities. Do not ever discount the possibility. Look at your marriage. AWALT. Bet you never got married thinking it would happen to you.

Watch your six. DOn’t complimnet people who don’t need it.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[LonestarParticipant 333]

I was a little disappointed that I didn’t see my Ex at my son’s High School graduation. I’m sure she was there, but my guess is that she either gained a bunch of weight, or didn’t want to see the big grin on my face. That was 2 years ago and just last week I got a call from creditors trying to track her down. I’m sure she’s rollin’ in dough.

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key. Eagles

[Author]

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