Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › How Long Did It Take For Your Wife…
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This topic contains 13 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by Nice Guy Eddie 3 years, 5 months ago.
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…to decline into something other than the sweet lady you married?
This is a question for those who are married or survived a bad marriage. I’ve heard plenty of stories about demon-possessed women in this forum. I just want to know how long it took for those demons to manifest. I’ve heard that married life is pretty sweet during the first year. Was it that way for you? Come to think of it: I’ve never had a romantic relationship with a woman that lasted more than a year. Things just didn’t work out for whatever reason. It’s hard for me to imagine a lifetime relationship that’s functional. It seems like the older generations (prior to the 1960s) were more dedicated to that.
"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)
A year is a logical length of time from an evolutionary viewpoint.
For a long time humans lived in small self-supporting and mutually-aiding clans.
A woman under such situations would only need special attention from a mate for a year or so.
She would need extra feeding and extra protection during insemination, 9 months gestation and then for the next two to four months while the infant is still weak.
After that the woman has recovered sufficiently to no longer need a man.
She can then rely on the clan.
And can stop playing the man for extra tidbits.
Some things never change.
Consider how some couples (foolishly) decide to have another child in an attempt to ‘save’ their marriage. It works for a short while.
So yeah, a year of being nice sounds about right!...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus
HI Fun’
Interesting question but we all know the answer to this one…not long.
Give a women an inch and she will take a mile, why do you think for centuries that women served men? Because the men of old knew that they were evil bitches and the only way to keep them in line was to make sure they did not gain too much power of the superior beings, the men. I think Terry Nation who wrote the famous Dalek Stories did not actually base his story on the Nazis but woman think about it “You will obey!” “Exterminate” “My Vision is impaired, cannot see” Sound familiar, devoid of any real emotion, hell bent on destruction and taking over the galaxy, Woman are Dalek’sBut seriously speaking from experience, it takes 5 years and maybe something to show them up for the superficial lying cows that they are. It takes years to get to know someone, and what we should be doing is s~~~ testing them like they do us and 99.9 percent of then would fail every test. Cracks begin to form in the relationship pretty much from day one, and it takes time for their level of intolerance to manifest into pure evil, then its time to either get your own “Exterminator gun out’ or just tell them to go and f~~~ themselves. Best way to deal with a women is to have 3 month relationship and then dump her.
When I told the mrs she felt sorry for herself and I said ” because you have never been dumped before” And I thought now you know the true meaning of pain, and do we care…no we have a sadistic grin of our own as we smirk ourselves into next week, comfort in the knowing that they have officially just shat in their own nest.I waited to get married until my mid 30’s, and then it was a bit of a whirlwind. About three years in, she had been at a new job for a few months after quitting her a better job, and an in-law worked there. They got into a spat and she was fired. That started her transition downward, two years later she OD’s, she’s drinking heavily, etc. I’d say that was that catalyst. Before that, we were doing well.
The real killer of the relationship, which we have been trying to recover from ever since, and what drove me to find out about the manosphere, is a work relocation. I might have handled it better, but was pressured to move quickly for a new job and a lot of the work fell to her to handle the move stuff. She didn’t, and it took me a few months to get it all straightened out… that essentially was the death knell for our marriage. Since then it has been more going through the motions, and then in the last year we have separated multliple times. She is back for now, but I am working two jobs, avoiding her as much as possible, and preparing for the day our daughter moves out… which unless there are changes on both our parts by then, major ones, will likely be the day our marriage ends.
No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.
From my experience its 2 years if you are just dating. Once you are married her expectations shoot up the roof and she will start bitching at 6 month. If shes pregnant it’ll be about 4 month before a blowup. Once you have a kid it’s the 2nd day after birth. The key is not to be mr nice guy and placate, but to test her with tough scenarios early on and see how she reacts.
This is a really good question. I would say it took me about four years before I started getting the thought in the back of my mind that I no longer wanted to be married to her. That was two kids in by then. It started with little things like s~~~ tests over playing computer games and then moved on to family drama and friend restrictions. Even though she was still super hot back then, yeah, the fires of “buyer’s remorse” were beginning to light. Having kids with a woman is really where all their power over you is established.
The key is not to be mr nice guy and placate, but to test her with tough scenarios early on and see how she reacts.
This would be my advice also.
The real measure of the strength of a relationship is when things get tough. Job loss. Work stress. Money worries. Health issues. Grief.
My ex-wife was delighted to enjoy the good times; when things became challenging, she was out the door in a flash.
NGE
Anonymous0I posted something in another thread about this, so I’ll just repeat it here:
In my case, I was attracted to the solid, reliable type of woman. But after 5-8 years of marriage contempt would creep into the marriage (in the sense of “familiarity breeds contempt”) and the wives would increasingly go nuts and agitate for better. I would either have to fall into a permanent “enabler” role to keep them happy, or fight them tooth and nail. And when I fought them, we divorced and they ended up with half of everything. Two marriages for 10 years each, two divorces.
The old days are gone. Women have too many choices, too many way to take the money and run. So they simply aren’t going to stick around for a lifetime playing the dutiful homemaker. Just not going to happen anymore.
Men can still interact with women. Just don’t marry them, and don’t make them the centerpiece of your life. And when they become more trouble than they’re worth, send them packing and move on to another one. It’s the modern way.
From the moment you meet them. Time plays no part in the equation…
Peace brothers
I’d say about negative 3 months. Once we got a house that’s when things started changing. She was never demon-possessed, but definitely not the woman I thought I was marrying.
Because I love my kids, it’s difficult for me to say I never should have married her, but there you go.
Ok. Then do it.
Anonymous5Reverend Lawrence Shannon nails this in “The Predatory Female” 1992
The change is “Overnight”
This a MUST read for any man who’s ever been married!
It’s both disturbing and hilarious at the same time.
It’s eerie how he describes the timeline and dynamics of your marriage.I’ve lost count of the number of introductions and posts that say “The Change” was on the wedding day or the wedding night or the day after.
As quoted above by VanXing, it can be the birth of a child that cements ownership,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and the change is instant.Women claim, and men begin to believe that married couples drift apart. It’s all part of their justification for their sociopathic change.
If you think hard enough you’ll realise that your relationship “Got serious” the moment she gained emotional or legal ownership of you.
It probably took you 3 or 5 years to realise the change was permanent, with only glimpses and stints of pre-ownership bliss. (always when she was getting what she wanted, or trying to get something she wanted)If you’ve been through the marriage wringer then this will be one of the most remarkable, insightful and entertaining reads you’ll ever come across.
Don’t bother trying buy a copy now, the second hand copies have already risen to close to $100 and rising. There’s a free PDF online.
P.S. It’s a VERY QUICK read.Okay this is a bit of a long story, but since everybody else is sharing. I’ve never married, but have dated some real pieces of work. The worst one I dated for two years. Two years, she was able to keep her true colours hidden, which for a woman is a change of pace. But it only made the transformation even more startling. By then I thought that I knew her pretty well, and would never have thought her capable of anything too unpredictable.
I eventually had to break up with her for a couple of reasons. My workload had increased, but mainly, after two years, I’d come to realise that she wasn’t for me. I felt that she had a good heart, but there were a number of things that were starting to pluck my nerves about her – her possessiveness, her controlling nature, her need to be right about everything. She had a nasty jealous streak too. Would give me hell if I so much as looked at another girl. But when she was nice, she was quite nice, so I really wanted to look past her flaws and love her just the way she was. I acknowledge that nobody’s perfect. After two years, though, I knew that she was anything but The One.
Sadly, after I ended things, she went berserk. Started sending me suicide threats, saying that she’d take me to small claims court (over money that I didn’t owe her), emailing me vulgar messages every night, coming to my workplace and screaming at me in front of everyone. I ended up having to let the police know about the suicide threats, just so they’d know to keep an eye on her.
Three months later I thought that I’d finally seen the back of her. But one day I got yet another email (of course I know now that I should’ve changed my address, but at that point hadn’t heard from her for a while, so assumed that she’d come to her senses), telling me that she’d be killing herself in 18 days; which I worked out was Christmas Day. I got back in touch with the police again to tell them what was going on, which they gave the OK. Christmas Eve, I’m at my parents’ house. She shows up out of the blue and starts hurling abuse at me for sending the cops to her home. Ruined everybody’s evening. I was so humiliated, and above all, couldn’t believe that she was acting that way. She’d never shown me anything like that in the two years that we’d gone out beforehand.
To see what is in front of one's nose requires a constant struggle. -Orwell
Okay this is a bit of a long story, but since everybody else is sharing. I’ve never married, but have dated some real pieces of work. The worst one I dated for two years. Two years, she was able to keep her true colours hidden, which for a woman is a change of pace. But it only made the transformation even more startling. By then I thought that I knew her pretty well, and would never have thought her capable of anything too unpredictable.
I eventually had to break up with her for a couple of reasons. My workload had increased, but mainly, after two years, I’d come to realise that she wasn’t for me. I felt that she had a good heart, but there were a number of things that were starting to pluck my nerves about her – her possessiveness, her controlling nature, her need to be right about everything. She had a nasty jealous streak too. Would give me hell if I so much as looked at another girl. But when she was nice, she was quite nice, so I really wanted to look past her flaws and love her just the way she was. I acknowledge that nobody’s perfect. After two years, though, I knew that she was anything but The One.
Sadly, after I ended things, she went berserk. Started sending me suicide threats, saying that she’d take me to small claims court (over money that I didn’t owe her), emailing me vulgar messages every night, coming to my workplace and screaming at me in front of everyone. I ended up having to let the police know about the suicide threats, just so they’d know to keep an eye on her.
Three months later I thought that I’d finally seen the back of her. But one day I got yet another email (of course I know now that I should’ve changed my address, but at that point hadn’t heard from her for a while, so assumed that she’d come to her senses), telling me that she’d be killing herself in 18 days; which I worked out was Christmas Day. I got back in touch with the police again to tell them what was going on, which they gave the OK. Christmas Eve, I’m at my parents’ house. She shows up out of the blue and starts hurling abuse at me for sending the cops to her home. Ruined everybody’s evening. I was so humiliated, and above all, couldn’t believe that she was acting that way. She’d never shown me anything like that in the two years that we’d gone out beforehand.
This woman has drifted from your standard female histrionic personality disorder into the arena of the mentally unwell.
She appears to be at risk to herself and possibly others.
You’ve done all you can. She needs urgent inpatient psychiatric treatment.
NGE
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