hikikomori

[knightslayerParticipant 36]

i wanted to bring this to light after sharing a bit of my story. it’s not something i’m proud of, but i don’t let shame get to me either. i know that whatever happened isn’t entirely within my control and for anyone else who understands this experience, i hope that they’ll either come talk to me or to anyone else who can relate.

 

[BurgundyParticipant 1525]

Think I had a similar moment, during my depression a decade ago, luckily not as serious. And ironically was half cured through some special Anime and some good old friends,  and later “Welcome to the NHK”, was a good reminder of what it takes.

 

The main character in NHK also talked about it, if people can live on staying inside with playing games, social media, reading, or watching TV, without having to go out and work, they won’t bother doing much about it, since they are getting they are being “entertained” as is.

I do believe, the more our technology advances, the more we will interact virtually, rather than personally. I have through some fate of irony, been a lot better with personal, face to face interaction, than social media, I consider myself social media wise awkward, while I have not much trouble expressing myself outside in the open, maybe I’m just better at crafting masks to put on outside, than virtual avatars to use while expressing myself completely through that.

There is always an easy solution to the problem, when you think about it, but it requires the actual person in question, to make the step without feeling forced to do it, they have to have the idea, inception style, has to be done voluntary, like getting that red pill moment, and moving forward from henceforth.

Then again there are plenty of perspectives to this.

[knightslayerParticipant 36]

@burgandy: how did you deal with it? i’m not as much of a recluse as i used to be, but i’m willing to take any advice i can get. hikikomori is still a relatively new phenomenon that even japanese people have trouble understanding.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Get a motorcycle.  Ride it.  Take up rock climbing.  Get a tent and go camping.  Bring a fishing pole and go fishing.  Or a rifle and go hunting.  Or a pan and go prospecting.  Or find something else you like to do that can only be done outside the house.  This may not help much with human interaction, but then most humans aren’t worth interacting with anyways beyond a “yes I would like fries with that” level.  Especially for motorcycle riding, rock climbing, fishing, hunting, mountain man badasses like you.

Of course if your motorcycle is cool enough you can’t avoid human interaction.  It’s getting random bystanders to leave you the hell alone so you can get back out on the open road that becomes difficult.

In other words: Go outside and play.

[knightslayerParticipant 36]

@sidecar : Not wanting to interact with people is a huge part of it. It’s so draining. Often times, I’d rather have the planet to myself. Outdoor stuff like camping does interest me though. I was looking into super shelters a couple weeks ago and general prepping. I’ll give it a try and see how it goes. Though economically, I don’t think I could get into marksmanship or motorcycles any time soon, but that’s something I’d like to try at some point. Not sure where to start though. Any tips?

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

knightslayer wrote:

@sidecar : Not wanting to interact with people is a huge part of it.

Yeah, but one thing at a time.  You’re not going to interact with a lot of people staying at home, whether you want to or not.  So first find a reason to want to get out of the house.  Then get out of the house.  Then interact with people or not as the situation or your interests dictate.

I’ve never been hikki, so I can’t claim to understand the condition, but I am enough of a general misanthrope to think that interaction with people for the mere sake of interaction itself is a pretty pointless endeavor.  There should be a reason or purpose for the interaction, even if it’s just idle chatter.  If you find a reason for interaction and put yourself in a place where such interaction will happen, then it will happen.  But just randomly going out and talking to strangers for the sole purpose of talking to random people is kind of pointless, probably ineffective, and let’s face it, a little weird.

Take rock climbing for example.  What you want to do is get to the top of a rock, but to do that you’re going to have to learn to climb first.  That means you’re going to need to find someone to teach you, preferably at a practice climbing wall, because there’s only so much you can learn from the internet.  That means interaction with people, but interaction to a purpose.  You’re also going to need to buy equipment, which means more interaction because you’re going to need help getting the right stuff and right sizes.  You’ll probably need to hit the gym to build up some muscle, and there will be people there too.  When you’re finally ready for your first climb you’ll need to go with a group because it’s dangerous for new climbers to try it alone.  Even experienced climbers work in teams, because someone has to be able to call the ambulance just in case.  You’ll have to deal with interacting with all these people, but that’s ok because you’re not really interacting with random people, but rather with other climbers who also want to get up that rock.  In other words, don’t talk to people, talk to your common interest with people.  It’s really no different from talking with people here on the forums about our common interest in MGTOW, except it’s in real life and about climbing rocks.   Once you get to the top of the wall and look around you all the interaction that you had to put up with to get there will be worth it.

Though economically, I don’t think I could get into marksmanship or motorcycles any time soon, but that’s something I’d like to try at some point. Not sure where to start though. Any tips?

There are shooting ranges that rent guns and also teach classes (more interaction) which is a lot cheaper than buying.  And used motorcycles can be surprisingly cheap if you stay away from the big name brands and are willing to get your hands dirty fixing them.  Getting a motorcycle license can be pretty expensive in some places, and there’s really no way of getting around that.  You’d probably also want to take a riding class even if it isn’t required for licensing, which can be expensive (especially where mandatory), but it’s also an opportunity to practice interacting with people.

Again, it doesn’t have to be shooting or rock climbing or motorcycles or anything in particular.  It just has to be something you want to do that gets you out of the house.  Hiking is pretty cheap to get into.  So is swimming.  You can pick up used golf clubs for $20 on craigslist.  Letterboxing and geocaching are practically free if you already have a GPS app on your phone.  Urban exploration is also practically free, though it sometimes comes with some legal risks.  Even birdwatching or trainspotting are better than nothing (and you’d be amazed what you can get away with if you have a pair of binoculars and a bird identification book).

[knightslayerParticipant 36]

@sidecar : A lot of people say just to get out, but that’s like telling a regular person to withdraw into complete isolation. I’ve always known that humans are driven either by pleasure or fear, but I’ve never really thought about approaching my situation that way. Probably because I’ve grown resistant to shaming. It’s going to be a challenge since I’ve felt indifferent to everything, even things I used to really enjoy in the past, but there’s so much to do on this planet. It would be a waste if I just passed on all of it without giving it a chance.

Thanks for treating this matter seriously rather than dismissing it as many people do. Obviously it’s not normal for humans or even animals to behave this way, and the fact that it’s occurring on a grand scale (into the millions apparently), should be alarming. At least it’s entering Japan’s mainstream, though mostly as a comedic device or something we should feel so lucky to experience. I hope that when I’ve evolved enough, I can illustrate this phenomenon in a way that will get people to stop and consider addressing the reasons why so many men and now women are turning to extreme social withdrawal, rather than looking at us like we’re lower than dog s~~~.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

knightslayer wrote:

A lot of people say just to get out, but that’s like telling a regular person to withdraw into complete isolation.

True, but I’m not saying that.  I’m advising you to find a reason to go outside, which is not the same thing as just going outside for the sake of going outside.  I think that without having a purpose and reward for going outside, going out for its own sake just becomes a pointless chore.  Which is why I put the emphasis on play when I say “go outside and play.”

It’s going to be a challenge since I’ve felt indifferent to everything, even things I used to really enjoy in the past,

I’m no doctor, but that sounds like it might indicate some brain chemistry thing.  Some folks might consider seeing a doctor about that, maybe get some pills to perk up their brain juices.  OR you could try natural endorphins, like the kind you get from looking out from the top of a mountain or from taking a 25mph curve at 60 or even spending a half hour at the gym.  Your brain may be the director of your body, but it’s also your body’s plaything.  What you think is up to you, but the experiences of your body determine how your brain thinks it.

Thanks for treating this matter seriously rather than dismissing it as many people do. Obviously it’s not normal for humans or even animals to behave this way, and the fact that it’s occurring on a grand scale (into the millions apparently), should be alarming.

Well it is serious.  But I’m not entirely convinced it’s all that abnormal.  I think introverted people have been common from the very beginning, only now we have the technology to let them optimize their actions to that.  People who select quality over quantity in their human interactions have been around forever, only now they can have that interaction remotely over the internet instead of in person.  Fifty years ago you might still only have had a few buddies to hang out with, but the limited technology of the day meant you or they had to go outside to see each other.  These days you can all stay at home and interact on the internet.  And while that may be fine for your brain’s need for human interaction, your body still needs to get out and do stuff.

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