Hi, I'm new here

[Knight ErrantParticipant 179]

Hello gentlemen,

I thought it was time I introduced myself. I’ve spent a couple months now lurking and reading, so I might as well share my story, too. I’ve learned a lot from other men’s accounts, especially from the comments and cautionary tales of married men on this site, maybe mine will be of some help to someone… My first contact with the whole MGTOW phenomenon happened at the best possible stage in my life – just before I was about to get married. But let’s have a little backstory first.

Ever since I can remember, I never wanted to get married or have kids. I have a distant memory from childhood, watching a scene in a movie where a hot blonde girl pushes a guy onto a bed, pulls his cowboy boots off and they’re about to get it on, and I remember thinking “I wish I had a girlfriend like that, but barren”. I s~~~ you not, my about-12-years-old-or-thereabouts self was that specific about my preference when it comes to the possibility of fatherhood. This never changed, the thought of having kids always triggered the same response – thinking of all the things I’d have to give up, my dreams, hobbies, time, money and so on. I’ve had this attitude since childhood and still have it now.

My history with women is pretty typical. Had a few girlfriends in my teenage years, a serious relationship in college where I sampled the experience of living together, having sex regularly and getting subtly manipulated into slowly losing touch with all my friends, losing more and more of my independence, getting nagged more and more and so on. I reached my limit eventually and broke up. It was horrible, she went full psycho, made a scene and threatened suicide but I called her bluff and moved out and back in with my friends. It tasted like freedom. After some time I was back with her, I simply did not know any better. I got reeled back in with sex, guilt and other womanly tactics. We were together for a couple more years until it finally came to an end. I was not happy with her nagging and sucking the joy out of the things I enjoyed, she was unhappy with my lack of ambition and had a better prospect lined up already. I remember I didn’t even mind, it didn’t feel like a betrayal, it felt like relief and tasted like freedom (again).

Then came single adulthood riddled with sexual frustration. I was in my mid 20s and all I wanted was to get laid. And as soon as i did, I was in a relationship again. It was different this time. I was not about to take any s~~~ or compromise my freedom. I knew more about human nature and specifically female nature, after all. I didn’t get emotionally attached, I didn’t fall in puppy love and lose my head. Nevertheless, we were eventually living together. Soon enough some conflict erupted between her and my friends and, well, it just so happened that I kind of drifted apart from them. Never fell out of touch completely, but saw them maybe twice a year for drinks and card games, and even then getting some poorly masked resentment from my girl about it.

Then I gone and done the dumbest thing in my life. I bought a diamond ring, got on one knee and asked *the* question. I’m sure, considering where we are posting, you’re all wondering why a guy would ever do a thing like that. Well, a better question is, why would a guy who does not believe in God, has little respect for the Church, thinks the institution of marriage is outdated and has never wanted to have kids would ever do a thing like that?! My dudes, my answer is, f~~~ if I know, but as hard as it is for me to accept, it may just be that I am a f~~~ing moron.

I think I just did not know any better. When it seems like all your peers are married or are about to be, your parents are married and their parents before them and the parents of all your peers and so on, you simply don’t consider another option. Everyone gets married as soon as they meet the right person. If they haven’t married, that just means they haven’t met the right person yet and need to try harder, they are secretly gay or there is something wrong with them. If they married and it turned out that they chose the wrong person, they need to repeat the whole process. That is the mainstream attitude in society and the possibility of never getting married simply never occurred to me. I figured the girl is as good as I’m likely to get, plus I was not yet aware of the dangers of marriage and divorce.

Fast forward another couple of years and it turns out that it’s time to become an adult man. What is an “adult man” exactly, you ask? Well, it’s the kind of man who no longer rents a place but lives with his woman in their “own” place, so it’s time to get a mortgage. The idea never appealed to me. I hate being in debt, owing anybody anything, especially a bank. Buuut, I got convinced that it was a grownup thing to do, most of my childhood friends already had mortgages and wives and kids and all those other things you’re supposed to have when you’re over thirty. So we got in debt and bought a place. One thing I did right throughout this whole thing is that I made it clear from the start that I will not be taken advantage of financially, so we both work and all the bills are split 50-50. It’s gender equality above all, right? So from that moment on it was blissful home life, no more housemates to worry about, a sense of having our own space and higher quality of life (I really like the place, actually) for the more or less equal monthly fee, only with a dark cloud of debt over our heads and of course a lot more hassle if there was ever an idea to move, split up etc. I begin to wonder if that last one was a side effect, or part of the plan all along? Hmmm…

It wasn’t long until I started to feel something is wrong. I began to question things more and more. Why don’t I have any friends? Why is it that I look forward to those times when I go to visit my parents and she doesn’t come along? Why is it that I can’t wait for her to go to visit her parents and I get to spend a few days alone, enjoy myself and do whatever I please (rare occurrences peppered by skype conversations with her which feel like a chore I’d rather avoid every single time)? In general, I found myself being happier alone than with her. This has been intensifying. At the moment it’s just welcoming those moments alone as they come. How long until I actively start seeking them out, avoiding her, trying to get away? Hard to do when you live with someone. Suddenly all those married men who seek reasons to be away from their wives make a lot more sense and start looking less comical and more tragic to me…

And then, at the end of Fall last year, came the red pill. The red pill was small, unexpected, subtle, but it started an avalanche, a chain reaction that could not be stopped or contained and nothing would ever be the same again.

The red pill came in the form of a TV show about pets.

I was primed for the red pill. Remember the New Years Eve in Cologne? The feminist response to that mess was my doorway into the sea of anti-feminist videos. I slowly learned how laws favor women at the expense of men and that there is no equality and justice between genders. My worldview shifted in a dramatic way in just under a year. Then, one November evening, I was working at home and my fiancee was watching a TV show about pets.

Imagine if you will a TV screen displaying a homeless man in his 60s, sitting in the street with a graffitti covered wall in the background. He is cooking a can of food over a camping stove and then sharing it with a small dog. A female TV presented gets him to talk about his relationship with his dog. It was a gift from his wife. After their divorce, she got the house and the car, he ended up on the street. She got him the dog and told him it would keep him alive. He was depressed at the time, you see. In fact, his depression was the reason for the divorce, since it made his wife unhappy and dissatisfied with their relationship. So, him being depressed and newly homeless, the ex wife got him the dog to keep his spirits up and thus keep him alive. How f~~~ing compassionate. I could not believe my eyes. The guy is living on the street and she has a whole f~~~ing house to herself? Shouldn’t the house be sold, the money divided equally and they each go into a small flat or something? The contrast between their fates was shocking to me. With all your experience I’m sure you will find this amusingly naive, just as I do now, but that genuinely was me just a few months ago. Next segment of the show and we have a middle aged cat lady. She lives alone, the poor thing, and the cats make her feel less lonely in her empty house. How did she end up all alone in a whole house? Oh, she got divorced. The female TV presenter oozes with compassion over the poor lonely woman. I’m like, what the f~~~, I just saw a homeless guy sharing a can of food with his dog in the street and you’re feeling sorry for this cat lady? I’m sure she can manage! How is that s~~~ fair? Then I remembered, there is no fair, the laws are what they are, you are looking at their effects on a microscale, this is what the statistics look like on the ground level. I was shocked, I looked at my fiancee, the woman I was supposed to marry by the end of the year and said “hey, maybe this one is the ex wife of that homeless guy! Equality! Hahahaha!” I laughed maniacally, masking my shock with a facade of humor. I thought I knew how horrible human beings can be to each other, but once again, like many times before, I witness a new low. The tiny, subtle red pill got swallowed, digested, got into the bloodstream and soon enough, it reached my brain.

That homeless guy… does that happen a lot? Is it the worst case scenario? Is it common? What is the probability of divorce? What are the stats? Soon the facts were researched, the info gathered, more questions asked, old memories awakened. That older coworker telling me not to ever get married. Married dudes “joking” about their misery. That celebrity once more concluding their love story in court among flashing cameras. Those funny “before and after marriage” memes I saw on the internet… Maybe “the old ball and chain” is more than just a joking expression? Maybe that old divorced dude hated by his son is not all to blame? Maybe my mother was not always justified in berating my father…?

…Maybe that MGTOW thing I had heard about is not just a bunch of losers frustrated because they can’t get laid? Maybe I should hear their side of the story?

It went pretty quickly from there. Sandman, Turd Flinging Monkey, Barbarossa, Tom Leykis. The helpful youtube algorithms took it from there, supplying a neverending stream of new information, information that seemed to check out when confronted with real world observations. It’s been an intense few months. Also, I found this website.

In the midst of all this, the wedding plans are still on the table. It had been planned before that we’d get married in an exotic country and make it into a wedding/holiday/honeymoon. Kind of expensive. We have a mortgage, she is working part time and studying and is broke. It kind of seems like I’m supposed to cover the cost and it is kind of implied she’ll pay me back. It feels wrong. A memory of the homeless man and his dog and the cat lady flashes in my brain. I’ve got some money saved up but nowhere near what we owe the bank. I want to keep cash for the inevitable rainy day. We decide to scrap the exotic location, get married where we are and just go on a holiday honeymoon somewhere less expensive. Besides, I really wanted to pass the motorcycle licence and get a bike for the new year, something I always wanted but couldn’t justify spending money on before. I mention that to her one evening.

This does not sit well with her. Motorcycles are dangerous, don’t you know! She’s worried about my safety and brings up accident statistics. Besides, there are better ways to spend that money. “Like what?”, I ask. Like the exotic holiday marriage package, of course.

The dam breaks. I can no longer hold it in. I tell her about my attitude towards the institution of marriage and that I don’t want it, that it’s all a scam on a continental scale to keep the lawyers fed, the women housed and the men reduced to homeless shells eating out of a tin can under a bridge somewhere. That I never wanted kids and chances are slim that will ever change. That the proposal was a mistake. Tears start flowing, shock and horror, broken heart. I just sit there stone faced and determined. The cat is out of the bag, the decision is made and there is no turning back. Then, as soon as she realises that I had made up my mind and really thought this through and will probably not be convinced to change my mind, the tears stop and, I s~~~ you not, she actually says “well, I might as well stop crying”. Chalk up another one for the manipulative tactics and emotional blackmails I was able to detect and disregard, I think to myself.

Things have been weird since then. Seemingly she accepted the situation, but I have no idea what’s really in her head. The possibilities, as we know, are endless. She could be looking around for a new boyfriend, she could be already pregnant with someone else, f~~~, maybe even lining up a hitman for me, haha 😀 is there really any way to know? From my point of view, I am a dead end for her and she should be looking for a way out, after all she’s no longer a 20something and wants kids at some point, so I know she can hear that clock ticking. On the other hand, she is as lazy as any average woman, the prospect of being on her own probably scares the s~~~ out of her, and selling the place we live in no doubt seems as painful to her as it does to me. How long will this impasse last? Should I just break up with her and go through the hassle of selling the house in a hostile atmosphere? Seems like a just price to pay for freedom. And then what if I regret it? What if it turns out I had it good and didn’t know it? What if she can’t deal with the breakup and goes crazy, makes my life living hell with the help of the government, or kills herself? What if I’m a scumbag for thinking these thoughts? Maybe I should be loyal and honorable and keep things the way they are? There are no too many pros of staying with her that I can think of. Conversations are dull and empty, basically her talking about drama at work and me asking follow-up questions. Constant begging for attention and doing things together, not many of which I enjoy doing. The sex is regular (the more I assert myself and the more free I act, the more frequent is is, by the way, who would have thought) but bland. Honestly the more I think about it the more eager I am to be single again. The only thing that stops me is that I’d feel sorry for her (she’s really attached to me and dependant on me, which makes me feel responsible for her well being). She’s not a bad person, I like her , it’s just that I’m not happy with her. Also it would be a painful transition selling the place and moving.

Many decisions on the horizon for me, my dudes. As for tonight, I’ve got the place to myself for a week because she’s paying a visit to her family. I didn’t want to join her, yet again. As soon as she left I cleaned up the whole place (it’s usually a mess full of heaps of her clothes on the floor and I feel any efforts to keep the place clean will be futile on my part, so I just give up, but as soon as she leaves it’s tidy and stays that way until she returns. It’s the opposite when I’m away) and I’m enjoying the empty, tidy space and order. The food is cooked for days ahead (she doesn’t cook much, or well for that matter), and I’m looking forward to tonight. I have a crate of beer to drink and a website of used bikes to browse. I passed my licence recently and it’s time to buy my first machine. 🙂

Thank you for reading this very long introduction. I’m surprised how much it helped me to get it off my chest. I never talked about it to anybody. If you had any input, suggestions or opinions I would be grateful if you shared them below. Thank you for existing, MGTOW, I feel like I was saved from a horrible fate just in time.

I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.

[Anonymous 25]

welcome

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. I’d watch your back. If you’re living together, there are good hidden camera recording devices disguised as wall clocks and clock radios and stuff.

Female aggression is usually indirect in the form of false accusations and stuff. You need something to protect yourself if she tries call cops and make a false accusation against you.

I had a similar story to your, and I busted ex for doing exactly that. I picked up on the warning signs and had a hidden recording device. Kinda backfired because I caught the police red handed lying too. That evidence is nicely backed up in multiple locations and will backfire on them sooner or later

Stay safe

[neverAgainParticipant 1662]

welcome, thanks for sharing your story

All good things come to an end.

[BlacqueJacqueShellacqueParticipant 6890]

Welcome Knight Errant. Great introduction! I too found comfort in letting go of the information and thoughts inside of my head.

[Knight ErrantParticipant 179]

Machiavelli, Thank you for your reply! I have to say, it goes perfectly with your name 🙂 Do you suggest those devices for the possible “it’s over” conversation, or for everyday use? It’s hard to me to imagine I would need such measures having known her for many years, but then again, she is a woman, after all… might as well expect the very worst.

NeverAgain, BJS, thank guys!

I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.

[Blue SkiesParticipant 15665]

Welcome. i’m glad you found the path to freedom.
enjoy the website and the forums
Cheers –

MGTOW is not a movement, it is a way of life.

[SaltySpoonParticipant 47]

Welcome aboard mate! Your intro was perfectly structured, I commend you for that.

It’s funny how your inner self had been screaming at you ever since you were a child. Ah, how foolish we are to ignore our instincts of self-preservation.

But now it’s time to plaster a smile on your face and a motorbike on your garage. Yes, you took a few bullets along the way, but those lessons will prove to be way more valuable than any of the most ass clenching marriage horror stories you could ever find.

Godspeed brother.

Today we may say aloud before an awe-struck world: "We are still masters of our fate. We are still captain of our souls." ~ Winston Churchill

[JVBParticipant]

Welcome bro. Look forward to you on here.

Peace is > piece.

[Anonymous 25]

Knight Errant wrote:

Machiavelli, Thank you for your reply! I have to say, it goes perfectly with your name

Haha, the femstoppo have no idea the levels my plans run to.

Something like this for everyday, it’s motion detection (I can’t comment on a particular product as I never used one of these but in hindsight I would have, so do a bit of searching at reviews)

https://www.amazon.com/MEAUOTOU-Detection-Recording-Wireless-Security/dp/B01IJPH22G/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1485718900&sr=8-11&keywords=hidden+camera+alarm+clock

And something like this for every day situations where you can hit record in a few seconds:

https://www.amazon.com/Keychain-Camera-Recorder-Recording-Guarantee/dp/B019EJ78NE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1485719087&sr=8-1&keywords=key+fob+recorder

I don’t know her so I can’t comment on how likely, but women are women and her friends may put her up to it. Definite red warning signs for when you do want to be recording is if she’s showing any signs of stress or aggression (google for stress symptoms)

[ProjectParticipant 507]

First of all welcome! I will have to say that when you said you popped the question I got this image in my head:

And when i read what you did by being straight with her the image in my head transformed into this:

Anyway, welcome to the forum. Just remember to leave the tuna outside. The beer and Coke is in the fridge and the steak is on the grill.

Welcome to freedom, brother.

Sincerely Project-Genesis

[JimBoLeaParticipant 1891]

WELCOME TO THE FOLD BROTHER GOOD READ, SCARES ARE REAL, THE HEART CAN TAKE ALOT. THIS PLACE HELPS YOU KNIT IT BACK AND HEAL THE SCARES BRING BACK NEW BEATING TISSUE.

LILITH IS THE HEAD SUCCUBUS AND SHE LIVES ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

[Knight ErrantParticipant 179]

Black Sheep – thanks! Already enjoying it, your posts included!

SaltySpoon – thank you for the kind words, it took me a couple hours to write and it was a nice time for self reflection, I’m glad you found it readable. Yeah, I should have known better than to let society muffle my intuition. Hopefully I’ll do a better job listening from now on.

JVB – thanks dude!

Machiavelli- many thanks, will look into it, you put the fear into this “young prince” 😉

Sausage Fingers – I agree, I have many interests. Painting is a big one for me. Also, my brain tends to latch onto random subjects and finds them incredibly interesting for no apparent reason. When I was a kid, I would scour the bookshelves at home and devour any information available on the subject. When I was a teen, I’d go to the library and do the same. Now we have the net and I often go off to explore new areas. Horseriding, scubadiving, sculpting, calligraphy, whatever. Then I scratch the surface and move on to something else. When it comes to music, I am in awe of guitarists, the sound of the instrument mesmerizes me. As for playing, I still have a harmonica I bought in 2009 which I will start learning any day now. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) there is no shortage of other ongoing projects. Too bad I have the old missus who needs attention all the time. Sometimes I think what stimulating and entertaining projects I could complete if I lived the life of a hermit. Who knows, maybe I will, and soon…

Project-Genesis – I’m LMAO, man! 😀 Nice metaphor! Now I need to journey back through the war ravaged Middle Earth and back to the shire to empty a few pints with my bros! Maybe even rescue poor old Samwise from his terrible mistake 😀

I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.

[Knight ErrantParticipant 179]

JimBoLea- thanks buddy! I’m not scarred or hurting, there was no red pill rage for me. Just a sense of uneasiness about the future, mixed with excitement. A threat of a storm ahead and the temptation of open road to freedom, both looming over the horizon…

I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.

[Knight ErrantParticipant 179]

Welcome brother, havnt seen it mentioned above, I don’t know were you live, but point being, remember the cohabitation laws can f~~~ you over too, but I guess it’s different depending were you live on earth, anyway, good luck on your situation, and very intelligent move on not marrying and feeling sorry for her tears. Be safe on that motorcycle also, cheers

Hi Redpillbible,

I live in the UK. As far as I was able to find out, there is no cohabitation law here, nothing like the one there is in the USA. No marriage, no bonus as far as I know. I am aware there have been talks of pushing such a law through and I’ve been watching it as a hawk since i swallowed the tiny redpill I described above. It’s not in effect yet as far as I can tell. Any Brits able to confirm?

I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.

[bladeParticipant]

Welcome to the brother hood .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[AkhilleusParticipant 2486]

Welcome bro

Aloha means family you don't leave family behind. Who will be the next Draconarius for MGTOW? MGTOW = brothers = acceptance = belonging

[Knight ErrantParticipant 179]

Thanks guys!

I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.

[ProjectParticipant 507]

Just remember that when you are travelling back to shire you need to watch out for the orcs(blue pills) and the shrieking nazguls(women).

There is much to see and experience. Much to learn. Just remember your mithril shirt and your elven sword which will glow when enemies are close.

[Anonymous 25]

Knight Errant wrote:

Brits able to confirm?

You can get caught by resulting and constructive trusts in the UK. Have a search on google and that should give you the basic principles. You might also be able to get a bit of free advice from a free legal advice service or some lawyers do a free initial telephone conversation.

And if you’re UK based, be very careful, there’s plenty of evidence of police corruption if a woman makes a false accusation of domestic violence. They’re even arresting men innocently walking through train stations and are accused of slowing down cctv evidence to get their ‘quotas’ up. Apparently, there’s 300+ similar cases and they formed a facebook group

[Anonymous 43]

You wanted to know if guys are homeless due to divorce. Answer is yes, it happened to me twice.

I was divorced in the second semester of a 6 semester teacher certificate program. Fall and spring semester I lived in my car while going to school. Living in a minivan in the Chicago suburbs in January, not good. I was frozen in my car twice…ice covered the car and I couldn’t get out. I was towed one night, too. lol

Then later after I got my teaching job, I had to settle up on a child support adjustment…meaning I had been paying $35 a week while I was in college, from hired in August until March this was going to be bumped up to 28% of my salary. Well, long story short, my appeal failed and Judge F~~~wit slapped me with the full 28% plus back charges from when I started the new job total was over $800 a month. I was taking home $1300 a month and barely able to pay bills, rent, utilities, car expenses etc. The mandatory child support kicked me in the b~~~~ hard. Now owing the c~~~ $800 of my $1300 wrecked me completely. I lost the apartment and the utilities, great, and I could make my bill payments but nothing else. I lived in a tent from May until end of August this year when I found a better paying job and the payments later went down to $650. Living in a tent in Western Kansas in the summer sucked ass, constant 15+mph wind, dust, most days were 95 degrees many days were 100. Tumbleweeds crashing into the tent, coyotes, and rabbits the size of dogs. Then there was the tornado. 1/2 mile from me…ya scary as f~~~. Underground shelter at the campground man! Then there were the Illegals trying to steal my s~~~. I slept with a loaded gun every night. I also sold my car for food and a s~~~tier car.

Oh, the c~~~. She works for a major worldwide company, some sort of computer IT manager person making $150K a year, she has 2 houses, 4 cars, takes annual trips to Europe and cruises every 3 months. She has a live in Chad…and she spends his money too, I’m sure. She makes $13,000 a month, and just has to have my $650. She spends $650 on gasoline for her cars every month FFS. or maybe beer and smokes for Chad… s~~~, my take home is now $1300 a month…my take home for the year is 6 weeks for the c~~~. wow. How f~~~ed up is that?

lol her mortgage payments combined are more than I make in a year. WTF.

Being homeless sucked, but I never felt defeated. I had college degrees, I had my teacher certs, I had half of the c~~~’s 401K. It was more like an extended camping trip…I had to be patient and wait for the end of the school year, and wait for the interview season in June and July. But it’s sending a proportionately large hunk of cash to someone who cant spend her own cash fast enough, like pouring gasoline on the sun. If I was awarded the kids, 28% of what the c~~~ makes is about 40K. That is more than what I make. If ya can’t live on 110K there’s a problem. What’s the point of making me suffer for no good reason? The answer is character builder. I know I can survive whatever epic bulls~~~ she did to me, and I can survive what she has the state do to me.

I tell you brothers, I will be a force to be reckoned with after May 7, 2020. I have three years to retool for a totally free future. Stealthy is getting to me, learning programming languages. the c~~~ knows some program languages and she makes good coin. I have a community college here in town. hmmmmm I think I see the beginnings of a plan.

lol I worked for little or nothing, treading water until kids turn 18, then turn on the jets and make cash hand over fist for me. I love it. F~~~ the c~~~ and f~~~ judge f~~~wit.

[Author]

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