Hey guys

[zhPaulParticipant 25]

Hey MGTOW,

My name is Paul I’m 29, serving in the military and I’ve been spectating/reading here since about feb and finally decided to make an account. I feel like telling my personal story of how I ended up here and the things that I’m still struggling with.

So a little pretext for you, I just got out of my longest relationship in Feb with a woman who I’ve known for 14 years kind of like a reconnected later in life type of scenario.

For me being raised in a traditional values household I was raised with ideals that my goals in life should be to have a good career, find a woman that I love to settle down with, have kids and keep the family line going, which was actually drilled into me and my 3 brothers(one of which was careless enough to knock up a party girl he was banging when he was 16 and then subsequently had 2 more kids with that witch).

So I reconnect with this woman and surprise surprise she has a 6 month old daughter which at the time didn’t bother me because I wanted a family of my own and she was familiar so I went for it. I was fairly inexperienced with the dynamic of relationships up to that point because most of my experiences revolved around sleeping with randoms from bars and in foreign countries on deployments so I never had the time for one. The relationship was a struggle after the first 6 months and she was always trying to change me but I refused to look at it that way and chalked it up to miscommunication.

Now fast forward a few years of us having done the LDR s~~~ we(she) decided it was time for her to move in with me because the limits of a LDR were met and there could be no more progress otherwise. So her being unemployed and not working at all and living at home with her family it was on me to cover the cost of the move which I did. At this point we are all moved in and living together as a “family”.

Now I’m sure there are some blanks I could fill in but I’d like to fast forward to the last little while where things “failed” and I’d like to touch on some things that happened after she moved in.

On 3 separate occasions I was given relationship ultimatums about my best friend, my firearms and gaming which I called her bluff on each time and she never left.

When I was on deployment my mother was visiting and they got into an argument and she kicked my mom out, which she told me about this entire situation and tried to get me to take her side and I said don’t f~~~ing bother me with this s~~~ while I’m deployed, I’m not taking anybody’s side and her response was “by choosing to not take a side you’re taking a side” and I’m like what kind of logic is that bulls~~~?

So I own a truck, I make payments insurance etc. and so I had a deal with her which was you can use my vehicle as long as you drive me to the base in the morning and pick me up after work. After awhile she approached me irritated about this arrangement and told me she felt like my personal chauffeur and that I didn’t appreciate the things that she does for me. What?

I decided to cash in some of my investments to build a new computer last summer and she was p~~~ed that I spent it on myself and didn’t spend that money on the “family” like to go on a trip or something of that sort.

Now fast forward to the final month, she sits me down and wants to talk. She tells me that she found a place to live and is moving out at the end of Feb. my reply? I told her ok well I won’t stop you, go ahead and leave. She was shocked by my response because I felt like it was a miscalculated play on her part in an attempt to get me to bend to her will because over the last while I spent more time doing my own thing and not paying her bulls~~~ any mind so I guess she figured if she did that I would beg and grovel for her to stay and that I’ll change for her. I even asked her later what she expected to have happen out of that conversation and she didn’t expect me to roll over but fight for the relationship instead.

Now she dropped this line on me and it has stuck with me since.. “I’m not leaving because I don’t love you, it’s because I can’t live like this anymore” as a bit of a play to leave things open ended to maybe get back together in the future who the f~~~ knows.. but uhh you mean completely off my dime for almost the last two years? Having everything you need to live a comfortable life at no expense to yourself? Ok bitch.

Now I was saying a miscalculation on her part and the reason I went there is because where I live you need to be living together in a marriage-like relationship for 2 years before you’re automatically considered spouses by the law. She moved out at 1 year 7 months lol. So she literally gets absolutely nothing from me going forward and can’t get anything period. She even dropped some hints about common law bulls~~~ and her entitlements blah blah in some of our convos afterwards I’m guessing not knowing the actual law.

Now I’m conflicted with what to do about the child because I took on the role of her father when she was 6 months old and she’s 5 now and love the kid a lot. I would say the child played a role in me sticking it out as long as I did.

Oh she had to get her last licks in as well by asking me to promise her something which was “can you promise me that the next woman that you’re with you won’t treat her as poorly as you treated me” I honestly had no response other then to tell her to p~~~ off.

Now to be clear there was no physical abuse in this relationship or any other factor at play that would logically contribute to her underhandedness in the end.

I’ve actually been enjoying my salary for once being on my own, I get to do what I want when I want without some person bitching at me. Life is looking up. A lot of what is said here resonates with me and I feel like I’m on a journey towards MGTOW permanently. I’m glad to be here, sorry for the rant but this is my story.

-Paul

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

Welcome aboard! Two pieces of advice:

a) buy a lottery ticket immediately—you dodged a big bullet and are the luckiest man alive so cash in while you’re good luck holds.

b) Forget about her and the kid. Trust me you don’t mean a thing to that kid. And even if you did her old lady will make very sure very soon that you don’t matter. SHE will poison that well.

[Anonymous 6]

zhPaul wrote:

where I live you need to be living together in a marriage-like relationship for 2 years before you’re automatically considered spouses by the law. She moved out at 1 year 7 months lol.

Nice one! A close shave though! Welcome Paul.

[BlacqueJacqueShellacqueParticipant 6890]

It’s not a rant, it’s an introduction. Welcome to the forums Paul.

You input is as valued as any other man’s here.

Your story will help others. Keep you head up Paul. Once again, welcome.

[ABParticipant 762]

zhPaul wrote:

Oh she had to get her last licks in as well by asking me to promise her something which was “can you promise me that the next woman that you’re with you won’t treat her as poorly as you treated me” I honestly had no response other then to tell her to p~~~ off.

Classic woman, she needed one last chance to imprint on you that “she was the victim and this is all YOUR fault”.

zhPaul wrote:

I’ve actually been enjoying my salary for once being on my own, I get to do what I want when I want without some person bitching at me. Life is looking up. A lot of what is said here resonates with me and I feel like I’m on a journey towards MGTOW permanently. I’m glad to be here, sorry for the rant but this is my story.

Don’t apologise, we love the intros that actually let us know we’re dealing with a real human here, an actual man with life experience. It seems like a good red pill there, the controlling nature of women is a force to be reckoned with, and manipulative approaches such as ultimatums that you’re condemned for if you don’t abide are part and parcel. Congratulations on your newfound freedom.

zhPaul wrote:

I took on the role of her father when she was 6 months old and she’s 5 now and love the kid a lot. I would say the child played a role in me sticking it out as long as I did.

This is tough, because my instinct tells me that you need to walk away – being involved will only shackle you back to her Mother who will use the relationship you share with her child as leverage. The other part of me knows (as the father of a four year old myself) that “walking away” is a lot easier said than done.

I’m sure some other voices will help you decide here, but whatever you choose, stay true to yourself and go your own way. Welcome to the party.

No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.

[Can’t Stump TrumpParticipant]

zhPaul wrote:

She tells me that she found a place to live and is moving out at the end of Feb. my reply? I told her ok well I won’t stop you, go ahead and leave.

WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE! Well played, brother. Cool as a cucumber.

Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.

[LeoYourKingParticipant 225]

Welcome brother!!

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Welcome zhPaul & congratulations on dodging all those bullets!

[Anonymous 0]

Welcome brother and thanks for serving sir.

zhPaul wrote:

I’ve actually been enjoying my salary for once being on my own, I get to do what I want when I want without some person bitching at me. Life is looking up.

The ‘pink pound’ has long benefitted gay men, what you got here is the RED POUND another perk of GYOW.

[zhPaulParticipant 25]

AB wrote:

zhPaul wrote:

Oh she had to get her last licks in as well by asking me to promise her something which was “can you promise me that the next woman that you’re with you won’t treat her as poorly as you treated me” I honestly had no response other then to tell her to p~~~ off.

Classic woman, she needed one last chance to imprint on you that “she was the victim and this is all YOUR fault”.

zhPaul wrote:

I’ve actually been enjoying my salary for once being on my own, I get to do what I want when I want without some person bitching at me. Life is looking up. A lot of what is said here resonates with me and I feel like I’m on a journey towards MGTOW permanently. I’m glad to be here, sorry for the rant but this is my story.

Don’t apologise, we love the intros that actually let us know we’re dealing with a real human here, an actual man with life experience. It seems like a good red pill there, the controlling nature of women is a force to be reckoned with, and manipulative approaches such as ultimatums that you’re condemned for if you don’t abide are part and parcel. Congratulations on your newfound freedom.

zhPaul wrote:

I took on the role of her father when she was 6 months old and she’s 5 now and love the kid a lot. I would say the child played a role in me sticking it out as long as I did.

This is tough, because my instinct tells me that you need to walk away – being involved will only shackle you back to her Mother who will use the relationship you share with her child as leverage. The other part of me knows (as the father of a four year old myself) that “walking away” is a lot easier said than done.

I’m sure some other voices will help you decide here, but whatever you choose, stay true to yourself and go your own way. Welcome to the party.

Yea man I’ve been feeling that way about it, it’s not an easy decision to make but since me and her separated she has already threatened to pull the plug on me entirely because I haven’t been around enough to see “my daughter” and or call her when she obviously knew I had to go to China on tasking and then come home just to fly across the country to provide staff support on a military course.

Feels more and more each day like a situation to use it as leverage eventually down the road. I also have to face the reality that if I want to keep her as my daughter permanently it will require a financial commitment which would then open me up to future litigation if I start giving money. I’m in a “god given” position to go my own way with no shackles and I’d probably be foolish not to take advantage of it.. but like you said it’s easier said then done.

Thanks for all the great responses bros, such a welcoming group!

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Welcome home brother.

I hope that isn’t your real pic.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[zhPaulParticipant 25]

Jan Sobieski wrote:

Welcome home brother.

I hope that isn’t your real pic.

Updated!

[ABParticipant 762]

zhPaul wrote:

Feels more and more each day like a situation to use it as leverage eventually down the road. I also have to face the reality that if I want to keep her as my daughter permanently it will require a financial commitment which would then open me up to future litigation if I start giving money. I’m in a “god given” position to go my own way with no shackles and I’d probably be foolish not to take advantage of it.. but like you said it’s easier said then done.

It’s not just financial risk – there is always the threat of accusations of untoward encounters between you and her daughter etc. As a Father to a daughter, it’s always one of my biggest fears that when the ex can’t get her own way, she can pull that trick out the bag, without evidence, and it will still be treated as a legitimate possibility.

After all, we’re male, so we’re all preconditioned to sexual violence and rape. [/sarcasm]

No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Good call on the pic change. If your boss saw you on here it would affect your career.

Also, best not to talk about mgtow.

Glad you joined us.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[zhPaulParticipant 25]

Jan Sobieski wrote:

Good call on the pic change. If your boss saw you on here it would affect your career.

Also, best not to talk about mgtow.

Glad you joined us.

I’d say it would be more along the lines of not wanting my ex or any other female to identify me on here.

I doubt my military career would be affected by participating here.

[Anonymous 6]

Walk far away from her and stay away. All it takes is one accusation by her and it’s your ass. I was in the service once hand had to deal with an accusation. It was awful. But I came out unscathed. It’s best to just stay away from that garbage. In your case hit the reset, start over, and be the man that you’ve always wanted to be. By the way, welcome.

[ABParticipant 762]

Jan Sobieski wrote:

Also, best not to talk about mgtow.

No-one's yet explained to me exactly what's so great // About slaving fifty years away on something that you hate // About meekly shuffling down the path of mediocrity // Well if that's your road then take it, but it's not the road for me.

[TuneoutParticipant]

zhPaul wrote:

leeping with randoms from bars and in foreign countries on deployments so I never had the time for one.

Former Navy,I hear that brother – the only honest women IMO.

zhPaul wrote:

where I live you need to be living together in a marriage-like relationship for 2 years before you’re automatically considered spouses by the law.

Lucky,here in Canuck Land it varies by province and if you have a kids many guys get caught with their pants down(pun intended).

zhPaul wrote:

Now I’m conflicted with what to do about the child because I took on the role of her father when she was 6 months old and she’s 5 now and love the kid a lot. I would say the child played a role in me sticking it out as long as I did.

For you I’d say it’s not worth it cause of her,besides she’s probably already filled her little head with poisonous lies about you.

Lifes a bitch,but you don't have to marry one!

[zhPaulParticipant 25]

Tuneout wrote:

zhPaul wrote:

leeping with randoms from bars and in foreign countries on deployments so I never had the time for one.

Former Navy,I hear that brother – the only honest women IMO.

zhPaul wrote:

where I live you need to be living together in a marriage-like relationship for 2 years before you’re automatically considered spouses by the law.

Lucky,here in Canuck Land it varies by province and if you have a kids many guys get caught with their pants down(pun intended).

zhPaul wrote:

Now I’m conflicted with what to do about the child because I took on the role of her father when she was 6 months old and she’s 5 now and love the kid a lot. I would say the child played a role in me sticking it out as long as I did.

For you I’d say it’s not worth it cause of her,besides she’s probably already filled her little head with poisonous lies about you.

Reg force navy 8 years so far for me here in “Canuck Land” brother. Yea I’m in BC so luckily it’s 2 years. Were you west coast or east coast?

[BlakeGuyParticipant 287]

Welcome brother, awesome, you have connected all the dots very well. Great introduction. You were on deployment she put herself above the country.

Let the good times roll

[Author]

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