Here to learn…

[ShingenParticipant 10]

I don’t do intro threads anywhere usually but in the event of my red pill I want to.

I’m a 36 yr old guy currently living in the UK of Vietnamese and English blood. But I don’t plan on staying in the UK. Soon as I finish my 2nd degree I’m out, with luck. Mostly because I want to experience other countries and cultures while working in them. Things feel stagnant, I don’t earn enough atm to buy a house, and I’d rather have experiences traveling and living all over than be stuck paying for one right now anyway. The way I’ve always seen life is I could die tomorrow and I’m not satisfied with what I’ve done, so there is more to do.

I heard about MGTOW recently and started looking into it. I was surprised to find it’s a mindset I think I’ve always had, ever since I was young kid. There just wasn’t a name for it for me to identify it, or many other people who thought the same way. Far back as I remember I never bought into the idea of marriage, kids and growing old together. I thought I was going to be alone my entire life and it didn’t bother me in the slightest. All it meant to me was that I could do whatever I want with minimal guilt-tripping from someone else, or responsibilities. I didn’t see why anyone would take these heavy responsibilities unless they enjoyed it and my family was the poster child for not bothering.

I still feel the same way. I’ve had relationships along the way, regret none of them, I’m still amicable with 3 out of 4 exes (the first was apparently crazy so it’s for the best), but I did make the mistake of thinking another person can give you everything you need. They can’t, least not for me, and it’s unfair to expect they can I guess. If you’re not happy with yourself and what you’re doing, there’s no way someone else is gonna fill that gap. It’s just self-deception. Took me a while to figure it out, but I was lucky I didn’t buy into the marriage/kids deal from the start. There was just no way if it ever got brought up that I was going to entertain it, so here I am.

Red pill moment happened about a week ago when I got stuck in a YT video loop on MGTOW/feminism/gender role/economics. I took a minute to think carefully about all the women I know well enough to judge (besides the exes), those I’m related to, and how they acted through the years. And then about their men and what they said about them. In the past I just glossed over it all or something, most of these women had problems like being bipolar, having nervous breakdowns or anxiety problems, and I always put their actions down to that because they kept saying it was that. Wouldn’t you know it, most of them treated their men like s~~~, including my own mother and aunts, and a grandmother too. By that I mean regular verbal abuse, physical abuse, expecting them to do all the work while they didn’t work nearly so much but complained about them and abused them anyway. One of my aunts who was married saw a movie that inspired her to run off to Europe for six weeks and have an affair with some guy, only to come back to her husband and have all forgiven, with the excuse she had a nervous breakdown. Later I found out that back when I was a kid my own mother was f~~~ing two guys behind my father’s back, one in the hope of snaring him because he had more money than my father did, but he must have saw that coming and wised up. She told me that a couple of years ago, I guess because it was so long ago it doesn’t “matter any more”. She claimed it was survival, because growing up we weren’t good financially and my father was self-employed. But my mother could – if it was survival – have gone and got a job too, except she didn’t bother. It doesn’t end there. I’m minus an uncle because he unwisely got himself involved with and married a prostitute with three psychotic children whose morals are lower than crocodile’s p~~~. His bank account was worth more to one of her kids one day than his life.

That was my moment. I just saw through the fog and realized. I have never known an oppressed woman or seen one with my own eyes here, but I’ve seen a whole lot of abused and used men who just let this s~~~ happen to them. I didn’t want to believe this is how it is, but how can I dismiss it. This s~~~ has been cruel, even deadly. I won’t judge all women, but I’m not buying into this game.

I don’t feel bitter even though in general all the monsters in my family are female, and I’ve seen others act just as bad. I like my female friends, I like talking with women, but I don’t want to get involved with them romantically. So I’m mostly here to learn about how to deflect female romantic attention, like in a work situation, without coming off like a dick to my coworker. I’m not good at being subtle, I think. And I don’t enjoy female advances on me because I know sooner or later I’m gonna tell her to scram or have to think of some nice way to reject her without poisoning the atmos. In my experience that usually means she finds a reason to avoid me forever, even if I do it in the most painless way I can. If a female starts showing me unusual amounts of interest I notice it just trails off the second I give her the news. It’s not meant an insult to not be interested, but I guess some of them see it that way. So the whole process of them being interested and talking to me more and more and then blanking me is just tiring and pointless.

I’m currently self-employed, I work at home and it’s my place and my call… I don’t have to deal with that stuff right now. But in the future if I do work abroad in the field I want, I know I’m going to be back in another environment where I’ll probably end up doing this and I’ve always mangled it. Here for advice I guess, and thanks for reading to the end…

Shin

[DakotaParticipant 341]

Welcome Shin.  Great intro.  Your story sounds a lot like mine and many other men here.  When I was younger I used to rail against women and their double standards and kids and all that bulls~~~.  But, I didn’t have a cohesive understanding of the larger picture.  I do now.  You are in the right place.

A man may say that he knows that there are inequalities so why should he join?  Because feminism, the government, the work place, the laws, your family relationships and how it all intermingles is too dynamic to write in a book.  The MGTOW forums relate important information real-time and keeps your mind sharp to identify feminist behavior that is harmful to a man’s best interest.  Feminism and it’s off-spring is multi-headed snake and MGTOW is the scythe.  Welcome.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Welcome … and what a great intro.

What did worry me was your mother having two affairs.

That would be two red flags …. and possibly more. If she told you two, she my be hiding more.

My peace of mind would see me getting a dna test ….. just for my peace of mind ….. if it was me.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Welcome! I’m glad you found this place.

Shingen wrote:

So I’m mostly here to learn about how to deflect female romantic attention, like in a work situation, without coming off like a dick to my coworker.

Back in my corporate drone days, I used to say something like, “is this a work-related conversation?” It is posed as a question on purpose as a kind of verbal judo; it throws the ball in their court and forces them to break into whatever they are going on about. Once in a while it even made them think.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[ShingenParticipant 10]

Thanks guys.

Yeah, no way to build up the picture without either lots of experience and pitfalls, or advice from those who climbed out… the picture out there is so distorted. I feel like an idiot for not seeing more of it sooner, I’ve always thought of myself as pretty sharp. If you try explain why you feel how you do, the reaction is like 1 in 10 won’t see it as negative and I’ve already seen MGTOW being called whatever when in reality all we are doing is exercising freedom and the right to the pursuit of happiness – I guess that’s not socially acceptable for us. The more I open my eyes and look at what people out there are saying, the more put off I feel because it looks like this stuff is true for the most part or majority.

Regards my mother, I’m pretty sure she’s f~~~ed more guys than that knowing her. Doesn’t bother me anymore, as I don’t think a test will be meaningful or useful for anyone now. My father doesn’t care anymore about what she does either. He’s pretty much MGTOW these days too. It’s not so much she was screwing around that bothers me, it’s that she was screwing around and having her fun and then coming back home drunk and taking it out on the rest of us because of… f~~~, I don’t even know what made her so unhappy. My dad worked his ass off and loved her, and she rewarded it by being abusive because we weren’t so well off as these other guys. My mother has ‘problems’ though. Mental/childhood ones. I don’t know how much of those problems are responsible for that or if she just knew she didn’t have to take responsibility for anything, but trust me when I say she has no excuse. She’s got a job now that proves it, and her personality and other stuff doesn’t fit with it, but still makes excuses for what she did. I can’t get my head around that, but maybe that is because I don’t feel entitled to other people’s stuff, or because she raised me not to feel entitled. Funny when that backfires… we don’t along so well because of those same values. I stick to them – she doesn’t think she has to.

 

RoyDal wrote:

Back in my corporate drone days, I used to say something like, “is this a work-related conversation?” It is posed as a question on purpose as a kind of verbal judo; it throws the ball in their court and forces them to break into whatever they are going on about. Once in a while it even made them think.

I’ll keep this one in mind.

Mostly I’m just concerned about being too blunt and offending someone. I do that sometimes just because of how uninterested I really am and I’ve always thought honesty was a good thing even if it sucks to hear. I probably need to work on the delivery after being the only person who could possibly fire myself for 8 years… I’m out of it in terms of workplace interaction.

[Sessna12Participant 119]

Welcome to the fam. Sounds like you already got a lot figured out.

 

Sebastian

"We can no more stop him from marrying than we can stop him from making a well researched decision to poke his eyes out with a stick."
-Sidecar

[DauntlessParticipant 403]

Shingen wrote:

I’m a 36 yr old guy currently living in the UK of Vietnamese and English blood. But I don’t plan on staying in the UK. Soon as I finish my 2nd degree I’m out, with luck. Mostly because I want to experience other countries and cultures while working in them.

How about coming to Sweden? It’s a man-hating hellhole, but its large variety of landscape and nature almost makes it worthwhile. Almost! 🙂

Jokes aside, welcome. You’ll feel right at home here. Glad to have you onboard.

 

 

"To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." - Friedrich Nietzsche

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