Here I am

[BugSlaughterParticipant 46]

Hi all,

It really is pointless, isn’t it?   It’s just a horror show.  I’m actually at the point where I would rather die than have that invisible collar put back around my neck, following my wife around, numb, barely noticing as I am slowly emasculated.

My wife left me about 8 months ago.  Before she left I found myself with severe depression.  Started having trouble with drinking.  Nothing horrific, just self medicating.

She left.

I look back on it now (haven’t drank in a while), and I see what drove me to the bottle.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m the one that chose to allow myself to do that, I’m the one that put bottle to lips – I’m not talking about fault.  I’m talking about what motivated me to hit the bottle so much:

What made me so depressed?  I used to think that I drank to drink away the pain.  But that’s not what it was at all.

I drank to drink away the dishonor.

She sees herself as being liberated.  Like a bird from a snare.  She forgot anything good about me, about us, and there was plenty.  I poured out for her.  8 months ago should have been nothing more than maybe getting a little help or some counseling or something, but she just took off.

I guess I take the vow seriously.  You know, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or worse.  I really meant that.  I was in it for life.  The truth is that in order to honor the vow I made, if she did come back, I would try.  I wouldn’t compromise – never again – but I would try.  But she’s not coming back (I’m expecting papers any day, but don’t worry, no assets/income to speak of).

Loyalty.  Honor.  Commitment.  Irrelevant to her.

I wont ever go back to what I was again.  I will never trust a woman again.

[Ned TrentParticipant 4894]

Hi BugSlaughter and welcome in here. Our anger management recipe: take in a few red pills for starters, then a few more, maybe at some point a slight overdose of them if need be, to just once let your feelings and anger boil over and then (most importantly) finally: accept reality for what it is and last but not least lean back relax and exhale.

All the best, man…! Have fun.

Ned T.

I'd rather die a natual death with a clear MGTOW conscience somewhere off the grid than one within "modern" civilisation with a big stress mark on my forehead and a couple of dozen tubes plugged into my body. Back to the plantation..? Me..? Hey, literally: I won't ever fucking kid myself...YZERLMNTSIC

[FrankyParticipant 2338]

Don’t worry my friend it may look hopeless now but after some time (perhaps 2-3 years at least in your case) you wont give much of a f~~~.The most important thing is to look after yourself, do what you love and surround yourself with helpful people.I think the default male state is happy.Take all the gynocentric propaganda and the t~~~s away and you’ll slowly feel better.Hell ,give it enough time and you’ll even feel happy, and not that fake type of happy.

[Anonymous 18]

Welcome BugSlaughter. How long were you together/ married? Kids?

[Anonymous 42]

BugSlaughter wrote:

Loyalty. Honor. Commitment. Irrelevant to her.

@slaughter, that’s the understatement of the year!

The essence of all dominant women reeks of dishonor! Your X holds no patent on the sleaziness that embodies modern women. Words like honor, charity, commitment, and dignity, are swallowed up in their black hole hearts, and never seen again….. Welcome to the Super Nova, otherwise called MGTOW!

[lonestar77Participant 406]

With some time you will be back to your old self (before you started drinking) and realize that your new lifestyle (MGTOW) should you choose it , will be your savior. I say in the mean time find a hobby to take your mind off that heartless ex. Learn guitar, go fishing, buy a motorcycle, the possibilities are endless man. You’ll start to see you need NOBODY other than yourself to be happy. When you realize that moment, welcome.

 

Good luck.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me

[BugSlaughterParticipant 46]

Hi guys,

Thanks for replies!  It will have been five years end of July.  Aside from the past year there I thought things were pretty good.  I guess it’s just standard shock at being thrown away like a piece of trash.  But I digress – self pity will get me no where. 🙂

Truth is that I wish I could say this was my first time… but I can’t.  The true horror show was this:

My first time around was my sons mother.  Multiple breakup attempts.  Tears/blowjobs would overpower me and I’d cave.  Then she got pregnant.  But she was on the pill.  Her answer for this was, “Well, there still is a small chance of getting pregnant on the pill you know”.

Had the child.  Worked full time, she stayed home.  Started hearing things like “If you’re not going to help me with these dishes I’m going to take Caleb and you will NEVER see him again!”.  It ended after four years.  Was in dutch legally because of accusations and BS.  I didn’t want to leave because of my boy, but it was either leave or jail, in which case I lose him anyway.  It was so bad at the end that she literally had my shoes and car keys and told me if I tried to leave she would call the police and have me arrested.   Family came and got me.  We had to plan it like it was some kind of covert op.  I snuck out at night and my aunt drove me to the airport where I took a plane to stay with my father 900 miles away.

Oh, and I did get a call from the police that night too (she actually called).  Talked to the officer and let him know what was going on.  He basically said “As long as you’re out of town, I’m dropping this”.

Man I got some crazy stories on that one.

So here I am  years later and I guess if I’m ashamed of anything it’s that I didn’t learn my first time around.

There’s too much life to live to waste it in slavery.  Yeah, it’s time to take the red pill.

 

[RoyDalParticipant]

Welcome, and I’m glad you made it!

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[pharmerParticipant 407]

I can relate to that self medicating and shame.  Freedom is so much better and healthier for you. Enjoy it.

You’ve done more than enough hard yards to get here.  Congratulations and welcome.

 

Never fuck a crazy chick.

[leobez84Participant 124]

Welcome aboard BugSlaughter you’ll find this site to be quite the remedy you’re seeking.

[Smitty the Great OneParticipant 1535]

Welcome to Rylos my boy, enjoy the remainder of your life in peace. Listen to Ned, he’s not a real Dr., but he plays one here from time to time. We also have real M.D.’s here as well….., and they don’t even have a naughty nurse.

Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....

[experiencedParticipant]

Welcome BugSlaughter. So much of what you say sounds so familiar. Like fishooks on the inside of the ribcage. Was gonna joke that I’d never had trouble drinking, it was the quiting that was the challenge,” but in reality- just stopped because there was no need to sip beer without the ex. It had been,”RRR…RRR…RRR.”  take a sip. “RRR…RRR…RRR” take a sip. Initially RRRagging was responded to with doing absolutely everything in my power to help the relationship. Anyway, Know that many of us have been thru the same bologna and “got your back.”

Thank you for your post.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[BugSlaughterParticipant 46]

Thanks very much to all of you. I’ve been listening to Spetnaz on Youtube, and I’ve been in tears at times by the things he’s said. No one has ever said certain things to me. No one has told me that it’s okay to not be this and that it’s okay to be that.

It’s not just that I’m free from women. Women aren’t even really the problem if you think about it. It’s the society, it’s the culture. And it’s been that way for a long time. If the dynamic were to change, if a social structure were to exist where men were truly valued, not just disposable utilities. A society where women valued honor and valued men and sought to give and genuinely cared for men, then i would say that none of us would be here. There would be no need for MGTOW.

But that’s not the world we live in, and I refuse and reject the terms that our world offers us. My answer is “No” in the strictest and most final sense.

A quote from Spetsnaz:

“In terms of helping men, men first need to be able to acknowledge their vulnerability. Because once a man owns that, he can address his fear and lack of connection.

And that is when a man truly feels confidence to create change in his life. By accepting his vulnerability, he grows in strength and self acceptance. He confidence increases, and so does his capacity for introspection.

If at this point, he shakes off the shackles of societal expectation, this quite literally can be his second birth, where he effectively reassesses his life and lives by his own terms.

That to me is the definition of masculinity.”

I work at a hotel and a husband and wife checked in tonight (I work the night shift). After they checked in they went out to the car to get their baggage. As he is carrying their bags in, she’s making hurry up hand gestures and saying “cmon, lets go, lets go” in a commanding tone.

The husband looks at me as he walks past the front desk and I see in his eyes something that I’ve seen, that we’ve all seen in the eyes of our fellow man over and over and over again.

Shame. Disgrace. Humiliation. I could tell he was afraid of me judging him. It hurt him to be emasculated like that.

I looked at him with compassion and a warm smile, a nod and love in my heart for my fellow man. I hope he gets his freedom.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

BugSlaughter wrote:

The husband looks at me as he walks past the front desk and I see in his eyes something that I’ve seen, that we’ve all seen in the eyes of our fellow man over and over and over again.

Yeah. Tombstones. Saw exactly what you’re talking about at Wallgreen’s recently… I swear she was dragging him on a leash. Then I was out for a hike on an uphill climb and saw a couple. The DUDE was pushing the baby carriage uphill. She was a few paces ahead. The bottom was 20 minutes behind us. She was swinging her arms around talking and laughing and he was sweating and panting like a slave pulling a rock that built the pyramids.

I SHOULD have snapped a picture. Just didn’t have my phone. I imagined the caption “Isn’t 216 months of payments enough?”

The guy was pushing one of those big Hummer truck “outdoor” baby carriages uphill for a mile. Kid was probably 4. So what… 60 pounds? How the f~~~…. she convinced him to follow her uphill like that and then allow her to just yammer on.

Welcome to MGTOW, BugSlaughter.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Author]

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