Took me a few months to get up the gumption to do this. I wrote way too much but if you feel like reading it, here it is. I wanted to describe the situation that led up to me going MGTOW. WARNING, this is a very long and random story. I sort of just blabbed it out.
In 2014 I reconnected with an old friend of mine I was 36 (now 38) and she was 34. Her and I had known each other since we were teenagers and had lost contact with each other in our mid to late 20s. We lost contact because she changed into a user. I didn’t care to keep up the friendship. Her and I kind of messed around once but nothing happened again.
So we reconnected. She has a son that is the same age as my son. We decided to get together for dinner and bring the boys. They liked each other right away.
She was hot back in the day. She wasn’t as attractive in the face now, looked like she had some skin issues at some point since we lost contact, but I was still attracted to her. She was still tall, thin, nice shape, and nice fake rack. She seemed to have changed a lot and seemed more responsible and I decided to ask what exactly she was looking for since she had made a few flirty comments.
That was the beginning of our relationship and something seemed so right about the situation and after a couple weeks I thought to myself, she is going to be the one. I am actually going to get married. She had a decent job and wouldn’t be a financial burden, her son is smart and pretty well mannered, our kids liked each other, and we already had some common history. I honestly was looking for a woman that had one child like me too which may sound crazy to some people. And neither of us wanted anymore children. It was what I considered to be my perfect scenario.
Well, that didn’t last long. I soon found out that the person I knew her as from the past is still there lurking. She started asking me some random questions from a magazine for fun. “Get to know them” style questions with a sexual theme mixed in. I had no problem sharing and when she was done with her questions, she stated that she is an open book. I then asked her a few questions of my own. I knew that she had done some lesbo stuff with a couple girls in the past and when I asked her about it she got angry and I could tell that she didn’t want to say much about anything. She gave the spiel that she doesn’t care about who I’ve been with and implied that I shouldn’t care about her past. My reply was “You don’t care about my past? Well, you should.” It is completely natural to want to know what we are dealing with otherwise why even ask each other anything at all?
It didn’t take long but I discovered that she liked to argue and fight. And I am vicious when it comes to verbal battles- I have been told that I should have been a lawyer since I like to debate. Her arguments were crazy. She was completely unreasonable and was always finding faults in everything I did. It was like she wanted to be angry at something. I wondered if this was her mechanism for controlling people.
She also had a way of hurling insults too. She once commented and said “I didn’t know that you relied so much on your mother.” This was a dig at me. My mother likes to do nice things for my son and I. I don’t ask for anything but I accept her help when she offers. She mostly just helps with my son. I have a small family, it’s basically just me and my son and my mother. I don’t rely on her for anything, I pay all my own bill, take care of my household solo, etc etc. What upset me is that my ex made this s~~~ty statement and the the bitch lives at home with her mother! There were many many nights of fighting over nothing too. I was getting angry often because of it.
So we fought, broke up, got back together, fought, broke up again, ad nauseam….
We split “for good” in early February 2015 and then she started contacting me in late June. It sounded like we were just going to be friends and get the boys together to play. Her and I went to dinner and had a few drinks and then I pounded her out a few hours later. Then suddenly here we were in a relationship again.
I said, okay, f~~~ it. I’ll give it a shot, if she starts up one more unreasonable fight I’ll leave her ass.
So a few things happened that didn’t turn into fights and I could tell that she was trying hard but I could tell that nothing changed. She was still angry about things but now she was just hiding it so that it wouldn’t turn into a fight.
She made comments about me asking her to pay for dinner a few times, as if I didn’t normally pay for almost everything. She seemed to get weird when I reiterated that costs should be split down the middle. No socialism in my household where the man pays for everything. I also tried to ease in the topic of a pre nup but it didn’t get all the way there. She didn’t say anything but I was starting to get the feeling that she thought I was cheap. She got made at me because she suddenly planned out a trip to Disneyland with her son and she expected me to dish out a few grand and go with her and also bring my son. This happened a month after I had just taken my son to Disneyland! She also decided she wanted to go on a trip to Mexico with her friend and her friend’s husband. When I told her that I couldn’t afford all of that, she brought up the fact that I took a trip to Europe while her and I were split up (I used my tax return to pay for it) and she was p~~~ed off and angry. She said it was like a slap in the face. My trip to Europe cost about 2,200 USD but here she is trying to force me to spend several thousand dollars and act like a trip that was none of her business is somehow proof that I should go and spent every cent in my bank account.
So mid November 2015 came around she wanted me to go to a mutual friend’s house to hang out while her car gets worked on. She canceled the first night after I rushed home to feed my son and get ready, then the next day she wants to try again but won’t give me any information on when the work will start or be done, I had my son and needed to make sure he gets fed during all of this and also gets home to bed in time and whether or not I’ll have to have my mother babysit him if the car repairs run too late. Instead of helping me to help her, she get angry and p~~~ed off and accuses me of not being there for her and tells me to just stay home. I said “Okay, sorry that it didn’t work out smoothly” to which she replies, “don’t expect any help from me ever again”. That was the final straw for me. I told her that I’m finished with the relationship.
Right after this I felt alone with no one to talk to, I start searching for information about selfish women and how they manipulate and came across the acronym “MGTOW”. After looking it up, I thought at first that it sounded hokey but after finding this forum and reading some of the replies, I suddenly found myself not alone. My eyes were opening and I was realizing that I was subconsciously fighting against my ex trying to suppress me with an onslaught of s~~~ tests and controlling behavior.
Two weeks later I puss out and tried to give it one last shot. I told her that I loved her and was afraid of never seeing her again. That lasted less than a week before she called it off this time. I told her that if this is the end, “I hope you and *her son* have a good Christmas.”
Right after Christmas I wanted to see if we could let our kids continue to be friends. She said yes but she doesn’t want to give me the wrong idea about anything. I told her that I get it, we’re not getting back together, that is okay. Then she made some confusing comment, I asked her what she meant, she accused me of always having to argue, I said that I’m not trying to argue- just trying to understand. Then I just said that I give up.
End of story.
Sorry for the insanely long post, I guess I needed to get it off my chest. There is much more to the story, like her past working in a strip club, but I will stop with the drama now. After this was all over, I’ve continued to read up on MGTOW and while I’m probably still a purple pill guy (I have an overwhelming urge to get laid and hence still deal with women) I feel like a fog has been lifted from my perception. It’s okay for me to not agree with being used as an ATM. Also, as an adult, I should not feel pressured into walking on eggshells for people with emotional problems (women). I also will not feel guilty for being a man.
I wrote so much but feel like I left out so much of the story.
FullMetalExo 3 years, 11 months ago.
