Hello, how do you move on?

[tigertankParticipant 10]

Hi,

After reading a lot of the content from this site, and other sites such as no ma’am, and even attending some PUAs seminars, I feel somewhat identified with all this and somewhat enraged on how men are abused by society.

I just find the whole dating process just too time and – most important – emotionally consuming. I’m just too busy trying to be successfull making a career and trying to acomplish my objectives, such as getting my University degree, being the best at what I do (I’m an IT consultant), try to buy a home and migrate from being an employee to be a bussinessman. I’m 29 and earn enough to believe I can success within a reasonable amount of time.

But sometimes i have those moments when I wonder whether I was too cruel or too picky, or did not do my best for the relationship. Then I remember moments shared with those girls I felt abused/friendzoned/disrespected, and just feel a sudden hate towards that former female sex partner.

I mean, i don’t come back to them, but still have the impression I did something wrong, and that really bothers me, because rationally I did not. Such as ending a relationship with a woman who does not care to please me on any form.

Last semi formal relationship I had was with this 4 years older gal, she was nice to talk to, smart, and I liked  but had zero intentions to please me, and was literally virgin when I met her (yes, at 32 yo, she was), and she really did not enjoy sex unless I masturbated her. She wouldn’t stay a night with me because she ‘didn’t like to go to her work from someone else’s howse’, so I fell somehow used by her to get out of virginity. I felt like all the burden of the relationship was mine, and she did nothing. She expected me to be her faithful dog (in fact, she liked dogs more than people), but did nothing to keep me. Now that I think about it, she might be a bit asperger.

I eventually started f~~~ing with other women, and left her.

After that, maybe the problem was me, maybe I don’t want anywone close to me. Funny thing, my therapist (she’s an old woman) says i’m ‘marriage material’. Which also makes me very-super-extra careful not to be involved with women,I just avoid them, because I know they are very good at manipulating you in many ways, and since i’m a hard worker, I really get scared that they might want to invade my life or something.

Maybe i’m just an asshole, or something like that, the fact is that every woman that get into my life, ruins my mental health and poisons me a bit more.

The question I have for you, MGYOW, is, how do you achieve forgetting those women who hurt you? Although I don’t feel guilt or remorse the moment I say ‘no’ to a woman I invested some time and effort on, I still feel remorse or guilt about the fact it didn’t work, regardless whether or not I was right to leave them from a rational point of view.

Thanks, sorry if my English is a bit rusty 🙂

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

tigertank wrote:

The question I have for you, MGYOW, is, how do you achieve forgetting those women who hurt you?

We don’t forget. =)

[Anonymous 1]

tigertank wrote:

Funny thing, my therapist (she’s an old woman) says i’m ‘marriage material’.

I heard that sentence too, more than once. I assume that by this they mean: “You will be a great beta provider once women gets bored riding the c~~~ carousel.” Which is not for me.

tigertank wrote:

Which also makes me very-super-extra careful not to be involved with women,I just avoid them, because I know they are very good at manipulating you in many ways, and since i’m a hard worker, I really get scared that they might want to invade my life or something.

Same here 🙂

tigertank wrote:

Maybe i’m just an asshole…

From what you are saying, no, you are not. You just realized how f~~~ed up relatioships are by yourself. It is not you that is the asshole by wanting equal exchange on a relationships. Women are c~~~s for expecting men to give everything they have and they give sex (when even that) in return, as if that made it equal.

tigertank wrote:

The question I have for you, MGYOW, is, how do you achieve forgetting those women who hurt you?

Like Re-Headed said: You don’t. This is one of my favorite quotes:

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

Santayana

So don’t forget. Don’t be consumed by it though, but don’t forget, or you will repeat the same mistakes again.

Another quote I like a lot is this one:

“Only a fool learn from his own mistakes. The wise man learn from the mistakes of others”

Otto Von Bismarck

Although I disagree with the first part (or at least, I don’t mind being a fool myself once in a while), I do try to learn from other people actions.

So stay, read, and learn. We are all fools here. And we are all wise too. 🙂

 

[BDParticipant 1146]

tigertank wrote:

But sometimes i have those moments when I wonder whether I was too cruel or too picky, or did not do my best for the relationship. Then I remember moments shared with those girls I felt abused/friendzoned/disrespected, and just feel a sudden hate towards that former female sex partner.

I’ve been in relationships for I think 16 of the last 18 years. I dated a very wide spread of broads, and everything that is said about them on this site is true. Women use you to extract your resources, it is strictly another form of prostitution. I did the PUA thing for a bit in between and now I am much happier because I don’t even bother with them.

I keep an optimistic view about women, in that when I see one that is giving me the indicators of interest, I like to think that maybe she would be alright and I keep that thought in my mind. However, if I were to speak and get to know her, I guarantee eventually she would prove to me that she is just a c~~~ like the rest of them. So I keep it optimistic and don’t bother with them. Works for me!

Because in order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.

[BeerParticipant 11832]

tigertank wrote:

Maybe i’m just an asshole, or something like that, the fact is that every woman that get into my life, ruins my mental health and poisons me a bit more.

Haha…this sums up how I feel as well.  It seems like every time you start to get to know a chick, its such a great experience, and then 3-6 months later your just like f~~~, I want that bitch out of my life.  Soon as they think they got you hooked with the V and they start to show their true colors, being single again begins to look a little more appealing every day.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Feeling bad is a sign of being human … and brainwashed .. as we all were. So DON’T.

Did YOU f~~~ up? MAYBE.

Did they f~~~ up? DEFINITELY.

Now sit down. I don’t mean to be horrible but this is tough love I hope you will understand and take with good grace:

F~~~ING GET OVER THIS SELF FLOGGING S~~~

Move the f~~~ on with your life. Yes learn from lessons of the past but for christs sake man, dismantle your alter to past relations~~~s.

Got the f~~~ up, get out there and f~~~ing achieve …. work, sport, house, travel and anything else you want.

Forget women …. just go succeed in everything you do.

I guarantee you will then have vag jumping on you …. but ..  remember

THEY’RE LEACHES and will bleed you dry.

Now … are we clear on this?

😆

[tigertankParticipant 10]

Now sit down. I don’t mean to be horrible but this is tough love I hope you will understand and take with good grace:

F~~~ING GET OVER THIS SELF FLOGGING S~~~

Yeah, i know, I’m working on it 🙂 Just got those ‘hate flashes’ which are a nuisance, and didn’t know how to get rid of them.

Thanks

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

tigertank wrote:

Now sit down. I don’t mean to be horrible but this is tough love I hope you will understand and take with good grace: F~~~ING GET OVER THIS SELF FLOGGING S~~~

Yeah, i know, I’m working on it Just got those ‘hate flashes’ which are a nuisance, and didn’t know how to get rid of them. Thanks

That will go my friend. It’s a natural reaction.

It will pass. Just don’t do anything dumb.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Like all life’s trauma, we do get over it. If, and only if, we allow ourselves to do it. The urge to get laid will never go away. The urge to allow yourself to get punished will if you discard it, and it sounds like you are well on the way.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[experiencedParticipant]

Keep moving

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Anonymous 0]

Hi tigertank (cool nickname) welcome.

tigertank wrote:

Maybe i’m just an asshole, or something like that, the fact is that every woman that get into my life, ruins my mental health and poisons me a bit more.

Then you are not asshole enough.

tigertank wrote:

The question I have for you, MGYOW, is, how do you achieve forgetting those women who hurt you?

like RHS said,We don’t Forget…it is experience and knowledge.

[Crazy CanuckMember 4215]

You’re an asshole because women turn you into an asshole. Women turn the nice guy into an asshole. Nothing wrong being an asshole considering women think you’re an asshole just because you won’t put up with their s~~~. How did I get over women? Easy they are trash. Homeless men have higher value than most women.

On tinder at least 70% of the women on there are either married or with boyfriend. On top of that quite a few women on tinder are f~~~’in multiple guys at the same time. There is nothing wrong with you it’s them.

You are marriage material but women AREN’T!

"If pussy was a stock it would be plummeting right now because you've flooded the market with it. You're giving it away too easy." - Dave Chapelle

[RoyDalParticipant]

If a gold digging bitch calls me an ‘asshole’, then I’m damn proud to be one.

Assholes of the world, unite! Urhm… that doesn’t look quite right, now that I’ve written it out. Oh well, they can’t all be gems. Anyway, I take it back.

Assholes of the world, stay apart! There, that’s better!

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

RoyDal wrote:

If a gold digging bitch calls me an ‘asshole’, then I’m damn proud to be one. Assholes of the world, unite! Urhm… that doesn’t look quite right, now that I’ve written it out. Oh well, they can’t all be gems. Anyway, I take it back. Assholes of the world, stay apart! There, that’s better!

I was reading this on the ‘can’ and laughed a jobbie out 😁

[VoidraitheParticipant 477]

tigertank wrote:

how do you achieve forgetting those women who hurt you?

Time. Also having a s~~~ ton of money I can do with as I please because no one is consuming the efforts of my hard work helps take away the sting.

[AkibarangerParticipant 37]

Time, Space and self discovery.

I know it sucks, I know you’ve heard it before but honestly? Give it 6 months and keep yourself busy, not pining over her, just keep yourself busy.
The thing with MGTOW is we aren’t a movement so much as we are a lifestyle and boards like this exist so that we can laugh and discuss with like minded fellows, what this boils down to is ‘Men going their own way” isn’t “You going my way” it’s you choosing your own path and boards and videos are just really there to share stories and experiences. So what is your way? Work it out, discover it and muse on it. Go on vacation, do some things you always wanted to do. Hell I embraced my weeb half fully and I have been a lot happier than when I had to hide it all the time. So discover yourself, discover what you like and don’t be the sort of dude who is a follower.

Keep your chin up bud, s~~~ is rough.

[Lazarus DreamingParticipant 26]

tigertank wrote:

The question I have for you, MGYOW, is, how do you achieve forgetting those women who hurt you?  

 

Answer is you never really do.  It is allot like going to war and getting shot up, blown up and cut up…then asking someone years later, how do I get rid of these scars?  You cant, they are there as reminders…reminders to not to go to war, and if you absolutely have to…then duck better, take cover more…and most importantly kill them before they kill you.

But as AkiBaranger said, keep yourself busy…that’s the best healing you can do…stay busy, pick a goal something that will make you a better man and focus on it.  Do not get distracted and in time things will seem better…you will heal and those scars will be just that…just scars.

 

[Sky-OParticipant 18934]

We move on because we have to. We move on because we have the strength to. We move on because we are survivors.

And as men we are forever changed by the experiences that hurt us. But we grow and learn from it. The sociopathic parasites that inflicted the pain, never change and stay the same. THAT: is our victory.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

@tigertank. Welcome to the forums.

tigertank wrote:

but still have the impression I did something wrong, and that really bothers me, because rationally I did not.

Remind yourself you’re socially conditioned to think that way. To use an extreme example:

If you cheat on her, you’re a slimy asshole bastard who should pay.
When she cheats on YOU, you’re a slimy asshole bastard who should pay
…..because you “didn’t take care of her needs”.

You see what’s wrong with that? In both cases, you’re the asshole who did everything wrong. You have any idea how many guys cart around this “i didn’t do enough” baggage for 1/2 a lifetime & blaming themselves for f~~~ing EVERYTHING? Too many. Then one day, you drop the bag and accept that after 5, 6 7, 15, 16, 17 times of standing there like an idiot scratching your head wondering “where you went wrong”…. you realize you didn’t do anything “wrong” at all.

It’s immensely liberating.

Always remember that Americanized/Western women born in the last +50 years have all been raised and badly programmed in the toxic, corrosive, negative world of feminism. Through no fault of their own… .they just can’t help but look at the world (and you) like a feminist and think like one. She will look for the NEGATIVE in every single one of your qualities – including the positive – and spin it into a negative.

Examples:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat-race, you’re a male chauvinist.
If you don’t you’re sexist.

If you stay home and do the housework, you’re a pansy.
If she stays home and do the housework, you’re oppressive.

If you work too hard there is never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, its called “exploitation”.
If YOU have a boring repetitive job with low pay…..
you should get off your lazy ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

If you cry, you’re a wimp.
If you don’t, you’re an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination.
If she asks you, it’s a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you’re pervert.
If you don’t, you’re gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re sexist.
If you don’t, you’re unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain.
If you don’t, you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you’re after something.
If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re full of yourself.
If you’re not, you’re not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she’s tired.
If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.

If you want it Too often, you’re oversexed.
If you don’t, there must be someone else.

THE BOTTOM LINE…. EVERY one of your qualities will be spun into a negative. This can easily be studied and understood by countless psychologists and anyone with an iota common sense. How the f~~~ are you going to maintain a meaningful bond or relationship with that s~~~? They don’t do this when you’re dating, but when you give her the key, EVERYTHING is YOUR fault. You were conditioned to think like that.

Eventually, these endless diatribes will sink in and you will start to think; “well if she’s going TREAT me like an asshole no matter what I do, I may as well BE an asshole”. She will bring out the worst in you – on purpose. Because then she will be “happy”, you see. Then she can scamper off to her feminist asshole friends and say “AHA!!! I TOLD YOU!!! MEN REALLY ARE AS BAD AS WE’VE SAID!!!”. They cultivate this s~~~. It validates their core belief systems – which is more valuable than actually meeting and finding a good man. The “good man” doesn’t play that part for her.

This is the exact reason why women dump men – because he’s “too nice”.
And what does HE do? Blames himself and questions why it seems like he did everything “wrong”.

•••••

So…..his first reaction might be to think:

” Well then, I will give her what she WANTS!
I will give her what she PREFERS.
I will give her what she thinks she DESERVES
…. to treat her like CRAP.
And she will love me for it.”

But a MGHOW won’t give her the satisfaction. Because it would make her happy.
It would give her the ability to call you the asshole and give her plenty to complain about.

Deny them that satisfaction, and they will drive themselves f~~~ing crazy – all by themselves.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 0]

Sky-O wrote:

We move on because we have to. We move on because we have the strength to. We move on because we are survivors.

We move on because we CAN!!!

[Author]

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