Hello, My name is May 7, 2020. This is the date my youngest child turns 18, and I will be free from a nasty c~~~ of an ex wife once and for all.
I went through a very contentious divorce after being a stay at home dad for 9 1/2 of the 11 years we were married. We spent a combined $490,000 over 7 years on the divorce, btw…to divorce a stay at home dad with zero assets. Before you ask, her employer paid for a significant part of my legal bills, and so did the college I was attending. She paid out of pocket for her 4 lawyers. She also paid me $1000 a month while I went to school. Also had to give me 1/2 of 401K and 1/2 the equity in the house. So I guess I did to her what all y’all’s ex-wives did to you. What an absolute stupid c~~~, to lose so much money so stupidly. For the next 3 1/2 years she will get $650 a month from me, a total of about $24K, or a 2016 Honda Accord. And she is a fing CPA!!! Hello…return on investment?
We were both college students working at Failmart, she was an accounting student and I was studying Russian language and Business. My dream was to work for a Russian Oil Company as a translator/liaison person. I took my eye off that dream…I was lonely, one of 4 Russian Majors on campus. Why I got mixed up with the girl, I do not know. She was from a divorced family and a disaster.
WTF was I thinking? I could save her…and we could be happy together forever!
There was one crucial day when I could have chucked it all, when this kid she met in Mexico showed up at her place. He was there illegally, and wanted to hook up with her. I had known her for a couple weeks. I shoulda walked away…I wrote it in my diary, July 25, 1995.
I helped her through school, money, paid for tutors, wrote her papers, my own grades went into the toilet. After a couple years, we decided we would get her through school as she had better job prospects, we moved in together. Her credit was a disaster and she had student loans, maybe $20K. I paid those off. At Christmas 1998 she took a job far away and left me in the apartment. We had one last umm you know, and off she went. I got a call in February…yup you guessed it she was pregnant…she “forgot” her pill. I examined the box of condoms I was using…yup, pinholes. Oh nose…I was 28, not really employed, back in school working toward a dream that just went to s~~~.
She came home and we stumbled through that summer learning more about each other, living together. I learned she had raging pms 24/7 365. Seriously, she used to put me down, hit me and just make me miserable. I was going to be the good guy and take care of the kid…That kid turned 18 yesterday, just started college at an art school that costs $75000 a year. not my decision btw.
After a while of working and dropping our daughter off at her friend’s house, the babysitting and extra car expenses was about what I made. So to save money I stayed at home, eventually volunteered in my kids school, teaching art class for all 6 grades, every teacher, every room for 6 years. I went back to school for teacher training. The principal said she would have a job waiting for me when I graduated in 2012.
July 25, 2009…hmmm sounds familiar. She woke up and declared she wasn’t happy, and told me to get out. She then announced to the kids over breakfast that we were getting a divorce. yeah. it totally sucked.
WTF?
She had the cops evict me out of my own house at 8pm that evening at the point of a gun…I spent 4 years renovating it, my investments and freelance translating paid the mortgage, my folks helped with the down payment and bought us furniture.
I left my house with absolutely nothing except the shorts t shirt and sandals I was wearing. The removal order said no contact with my children or her for 8 weeks.
I had no money, no car, no house. There was $50 in the checking account. All I had was my parents and brother visiting from Florida and they were supposed to leave that afternoon. With out my parent’s help, I would have killed myself sometime in August 2009. Having my kids ripped from me like that killed me inside.
The rest of my story will make you laugh and it will make you cry. Spoiler alert, my kids never want to see me again. I was put in jail for contempt for the stupidest reason ever. I was removed from college thanks to exwife interference. I filed 5 criminal assault complaints against her in 3 different cities and was told the police would do nothing to her. If she killed me, then there would be an investigation. One cop threatened to put me under arrest for filing a false police report. Men are not assaulted by their ex wife.
I am now an elementary teacher in Southwest Kansas. My child support just dropped by $200. Now I can afford to live in an apartment, and not my car/tent since April 2015. I don’t pay alimony, and I don’t pay college expenses. The manhating woman judge finally realized after 7 years of proceedings, you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip. Ex-wife works for a major soft drink company as some accountant/computer technical manager. She makes 6X what I make. She has Chad Thunderc~~~ and his 2 kids living with her and my 2 kids, and oh yes she totally hit the wall a couple years ago. lol. Me? I have a savings account for the first time since 2009. I think Chad is paying for my kid’s college. What a great guy…
I’ve been reading this website for a while and decided to join and add my voice to those who are going their own way. Between this website, Tom Lykus, Sandman and some of the websites you all posted, I finally have an answer as to why my wife went insane and blew up the marriage, poisoned my kids and destroyed me financially, mentally and physically. God rot the moron who came up with no fault divorces. That fcker needs his own lake of fire in hell for all eternity.
Once I understood that this was not personal, it was not something I did or didn’t do, but some sort of ingrained genetic thing, I found peace.
Oh, I teach 25 kids in my class, and all 25 are from divorced single mother homes. There are 300 some kids in the school, 270 kids are single parent kids, 40% of all households in this town are headed by single mothers. I am one of 5 male teachers in the building, 2 of them teach PE. I am one of 12 male teachers in a 20 school district. Yeah, welcome to my world. Add to that the majority non English speaking population.
There’s more to the story, just like everyone else’s story here. Thank you for reading and sharing.
May 7 2020
Smitty the Great One 3 years, 3 months ago.
