Hello

[Lusus NaturaeParticipant 4]

Okay so, I’m 15, I live in England and… I’m quite torn.

I’ll try and keep it somewhat short and concise; when I was 12 I went with my family to this friendly meet-up Halloween party type thing. At the ‘party’ there was this girl. I’m very socially awkward and I didn’t really speak to her, I barely even noticed her. However it became apparent a few months later that she had noticed me as she (through her mother) contacted my father and asked if I would like to come out sometime (It may be worth mentioning she was 15 at the time). I had nothing to really do at the time so I happily obliged. Gradually the frequency at which I was going out was increasing, eventually she confessed that she fancied me and asked me out. I was very reluctant. I had never had a girlfriend or even a girl as a friend; I wasn’t mentally capable of saying yes. But a couple weeks later I came out and she kissed me. Naturally I blindly kissed back, enjoying the new sensation. If I had known the pain that was to come I would probably have ran home.

I’ll brush through the rest quite quickly, we went out for entire year, I loved her, I was convinced that she loved me, we had sex, I did everything I could for her, she dumped me, she got pregnant with her new boyfriend a few months later (new boyfriend was of a similar age).

To be honest, I’m over it. I’m intellectually and mentally better off without her. I am regretful that I wasted my virginity but I’m not going to claim she seduced me or raped me or anything like that. I gave consent, I’d be disingenuous if I made such claims (It could be argued that I was emotionally manipulated but no, I stand by my conscious decisions).

Did I suffer any mental damage from it? Maybe. On the night of the break up I cried and cried and cut myself for the first (and last) time (ever). I felt terrible but I think I developed as a result.

Of course, that is only a snippet of my life in regards to females.

Here’s another (albeit not as epic or saddening as the last): I was frequently mocked by girls (and boys). This was late in primary school  so it was nothing of the sexual sort, although (this was a long time ago so this is definitely not a super trustworthy anecdote) I do remember the word gay as I’m sure many people do. This caused me to ‘run away’ from girls, going to an all boys secondary school. I think I blamed girls more so than boys because I at least had one friend who was a boy, whereas none who were girls. Also the girls seemed quite vindictive, as if they had a real serious reason to not like me.

Now, neither of these stories are the reason why I am torn. I am torn because after all that I still adore girls. Sometimes I just think about how pretty some girls are, if I see a girl I immediately examine her prettiness and then desperately try and judge her personality based upon her appearance (which is borderline impossible unless you’re Sherlock Holmes). But at the same time I don’t want any of their s~~~. Most if not all of the girls I’ve ever met are apathetic loons. Of course I have limited my view of  girls so maybe that’s why (that’s the narrative I spin on myself to give me a centimetre of hope that there’s a girl out there who isn’t an ‘apathetic loon’).

So, alas. I find myself here, mid way through my GCSEs, unconfident and suffering depression. I often get quite semantic when wondering if whether or not I’m a boy or a man, but I’m pretty sure I’m mature enough to qualify as a man and f~~~ me I want to go my own way.

So yeah.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Hi. Thanks for taking the time to drop this and for feeling like this is the place for you to talk about it. That’s a big compliment to us.

I will return the compliment and be direct with you when I say we have to restrict it for adults over 18. Not because age is a reliable indicator of maturity, but because of the nature of the content. For everyone, it should be assumed that anything you read on the internet should be treated with extreme prejudice, and all “advice” (or recommendations) will generate long term negative outcomes. Knowing this – at all times – means you will base no decisions on what you read or learn here.

I don’t have ANY problem with you joining and welcome you fully. … and I want you to know IT GETS BETTER.

MUCH better.

So I offer you a deal. You can be a member and I welcome you to the MGTOW Forums whole heartedly.
What you can do for me, is promise you will NEVER allow yourself to be devastated by female “rejection” again.

Don’t think it’s that easy? Guess again.

It’s a simple switch in your mind and you can turn it off right now. Today. There will be no more crying when a girl says “no” and doesn’t want to dance with you. This is not to tell you that you can’t feel or cry, it’s to teach you that “no” from a girl is not a loss for you. It’s a loss for HER.

As soon as you start to think that, the whole world changes.
A “no” from a girl….. starts to become FUNNY.

She must be crazy. You’re paying attention to her. You’re being kind and you take an interest in her. You’re offered to spend time with her, or maybe you wanted to buy her an ice-cream. When a girl says no to that, its ONLY HER LOSS. She didn’t offer you anything yet. You lose NOTHING. SHE does. It’s not your problem when a girl doesn’t want what you offer her. It’s not your problem.

Now, after beginning by telling you not to listen to advice on the internet, I would hope that you listened and don’t do anything I just suggested. But the reason I gave you that advice is because it can’t harm you. It will NEVER be bad for you. ONLY GOOD will come of it. You can’t say that about a girlfriend. This little switch in attitude will ONLY lead to a positive outcome for you.

Doing & reacting the way you did, will never be good for you. THAT is what will hurt you. But only if you allow it.

Think of it this way:

You don’t know her yet.
Therefore she doesn’t MEAN anything to you.
And since she doesn’t MEAN anything to you….
Her “rejection” can’t possibly mean anything to you either.

Congratulations. You’re instantly cured of all female “rejection” anxiety.

I can’t allow you to be here, if you are going to allow a girl’s rejection to mean anything to you.

A “no” from a girl, should be FUNNY to you. They are expecting it to bother you. Many times, that’s WHY they do it! JUST to see if it will hurt you. When it doesn’t, they get very curious. Many times, when girls see their “rejection” has no affect on you, they become interested in you. They want to know WHY it doesn’t bother you. Never tell them why. Never tell them what you know.

From now on, any girl who “rejects” you, will be HILARIOUS to you.
If I should permit you to join and stay against our policy, you have to promise “female rejection is meaningless and funny” against your policy.

It’s a fair trade.

Deal???

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

What an amazing deal and a very good idea from Keymaster.

Welcome young man. Come meet the clan ☺

[RoyDalParticipant]

Welcome! And ditto what KeyMaster wrote.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Lusus NaturaeParticipant 4]

Deal. That makes perfect sense. If I’m to go my own way I shouldn’t be bound by ‘female rejection anxiety’, in fact, I should mock the very notion. Thank you.

[Soldier-MedicParticipant 2566]

Welcome.

Hey guys.  Keymaster great advice.

Lusus – In as much as we bag on women, the overall goal is to promote that being a man is a good thing.

A healthy sense of self esteem based upon accomplishment.

Having goals, accumulating things (really cool toys), saving money etc. and not accepting the guilt that is thrust upon you because you are not investing it in a woman or the children she has or wants.

We frequently take issue with what is negatively communicated about being a man and having value as a man.  For many it is a reaffirmation, for some it is a lesson.  Knowing what is not true can be just as good starting place as knowing what is true.

Here is one of my favorite quotes that has been either mis-attributed to Buddha or perhaps a restating of an idea of his.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection”

"I asked you a question. I didn't ask you to repeat what the voices in you head are telling you" ~ Me. ........Yes I'm still angry.

[Executor MaxwellParticipant 591]

Hi and welcome to are little hangout, I’ll just toss my 3 cents in here,

1. Don’t feel that you wasted your virginity, society has just been conditioning you to feel that it is something more special than it is for you. The big secret is that it is not as special as they make it out to be. What you have done it to experience a dangerous bit of life and managed to dodge a major life bullet getting out the other side relatively unscathed your emotions my feel a bit raw but you are very, very fortunate to not be the one that knocked her up.

2. Happiness and satisfaction will never be found if your looking for it in receiving the validation of some woman, happiness and <span style=”line-height: 1.5;”>satisfaction will </span>ultimately <span style=”line-height: 1.5;”>be derived from being satisfied with yourself under your own validation. Once you have that there insults will start to just role off you back there just trying to shame you to get their own way.</span>

3. What KeyMaster said bears repeating. IT GETS BETTER. It really does, when your this young it feels like forever and a half but it really does get better.

[jack reacherParticipant 751]

Welcome Lucus.

Damn nice reply Keymaster, I got 30 years on that guy and got something out of your reply.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Thanks. And I’m really glad @Lusus got it. I can’t stand to watch these young guys beat themselves about female rejection anymore. It’s so insignificant.

Women (and girls) make the mistake of THINKING their “rejection” should be devastating.
Guys do it too: “ha ha you’re probably not getting laid”.

…. and guys falsely buy into it.
They actually believe it themselves!

But her rejection is just as meaningless as her approval. It’s really true.

What’s the BEST thing that happens when a girl does NOT reject you?
A simple sex act , a possibly pregnancy and an STD.

Wow. Just shattered.

Wanna know how my first kiss came about? I didn’t even want it. Her name was Tracy. She was the pretty girl in the playground. We were 6. She had a white dress, long blonde hair and everything. I thought she was annoying and I used to pull her pigtails when she was on the swing. Just to p~~~ her off.

“HEY YOU MEANIE!!!! THAT’S NOT VERY NICE!!!!!”.

I used to really LIKE it when she said that.

Then one day, I didn’t go to the playground. I had a piano lesson or something. But the next time I did, she just kissed me out of nowhere.

WTF?? I didn’t understand it then.
But I understand it now.

A girl “liking” you doesn’t matter a damn. She’ll kiss you even when she doesn’t like you.
Which means her rejection doesn’t matter either.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Author]

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