Happy, Here, and kinda Confused…

[YohanParticipant 12]

So, I cant really pin down an exact time that I became MGTOW mostly because I’m still a little confused on what it all is. I think its the philosophical freedom and lack of a pinned down definition that both attracts me to MGTOW and yet makes me a little tentative to it. (I like to deal in absolutes, you see) But from what I understand, its about doing what makes me happy in a world that says that I, as a man, must sacrifice my happiness to accommodate others. That the mistreatment I receive because I’m a man is ok because women are somehow victims of everything.

But its more than that. Eleven months ago I became a father. Best thing I’ve ever done. My son, as well as my wife, motivate me to better myself which in turn makes me feel better about myself. I work all afternoon helping my son walk, talk, develop better motor skills. All while having fun. He is my greatest source of pride. Yet whenever I try to talk about him with anyone outside of my immediate family, my comments are ignored. Praise for his development was given to my wife. She would try to redirect that praise to me, which is usually met with eye rolling, and a reluctant or surprised “oh, well good job.” My efforts with my son aren’t recognized because I’m a man. People look at me and act like I’m just going to get up and leave any minute. Not to mention any time I want to spend an afternoon with my best friend I’m met with “Omg, but you spend so much time with him! And you never text me when your with him because your too busy playing video games or bla bla bla bla…” et cetera. Mind you, I see him once or twice a month, if I’m lucky.

All the while I have had to sit back and watch my best friends life crumble before him. Forced to work two jobs to pay the bills, mortgage, and child support. While his drunk, unemployed ex-wife continually pushes their kids on to him so she can spend the child support money on booze and mooch off of her new boyfriend.

Again, I don’t know if this is the right place for me here, but it certainly feels right.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Hi Yohan. You may be rewarded to watch this. It’s from a true MGHOW (man going his own way) “Barbarossa” who is very prominent in the sphere and he talks about MGTOW who happened to be married.

I cant really pin down an exact time that I became MGTOW mostly because I’m still a little confused on what it all is

The most succinct definition is your OWN. “own” is the key word in going your own way.
In world where others love to pretend to know what’s best for you, this time, you get to define it yourself.

For a basic intro, can start here: /about/

or here: /manosphere/

The rest of our archives are presented at random (by default) on purpose so you can discover what you want to click on, read, listen to and watch at your leisure.

It’s a very strange thing for a man to suddenly be able to have the freedom to make ALL of his own choices. And it takes a while to adapt and adjust because he’s been so used to being a slave and having his destiny mapped out for him by society and everyone around him. So take your time. When you hand a man a pen and piece of paper and have him write down what HE needs (and wants) he will often sit in front of that blank piece of paper and stare at it for a while.

Until that moment he’s been preoccupied (and expected to) give others what they need and want.
His needs and wants were not a consideration.

Yet whenever I try to talk about him with anyone outside of my immediate family, my comments are ignored. Praise for his development was given to my wife. She would try to redirect that praise to me, which is usually met with eye rolling, and a reluctant or surprised “oh, well good job.” My efforts with my son aren’t recognized because I’m a man.

That’s REALLY gotta hurt. I know exactly what you mean. A man’s life choices , celebrations and achievements are irrelevant. A woman has a baby and everyone drops what they are doing to “like” and “share” a hundred photographs. The guy says “I’m the father” or “i opened a million-dollar business with 40 employees which I started from nothing” and nobody gives a s~~~, or throws him a shower. It’s remarkable really.

But if it’s any consolation, a distant cousin of mine had a kid the other day. Just last week. Her fourth. My mother bombarded my email box with 100 pictures. OMG! Her sister is a grandmother for the 4th time! Yay! I told her to send my well wishes in her next message. She said “OK but I think she would prefer to hear it from you.”. I said Im sure she would, but she has never celebrated a single one of my life choices or sent me any congratulations on even my most rigorous of pursuits and achievements.

I nuked her hamster from 2500 miles away. And put it into perspective for her.
I will not “congratulate” a woman for having unprotected sex and the pregnancy / birth that resulted from that.

…. as long as my efforts and achievements are never shared, and generally ignored.

Welcome to you. And I wish you every success as a dad.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[YohanParticipant 12]

It’s a very strange thing for a man to suddenly be able to have the freedom to make ALL of his own choices. And it takes a while to adapt and adjust because he’s been so used to being a slave and having his destiny mapped out for him by society and everyone around him. So take your time. When you hand a man a pen and piece of paper and have him write down what HE needs (and wants) he will often sit in front of that blank piece of paper and stare at it for a while.

Until that moment he’s been preoccupied (and expected to) give others what they need and want.
His needs and wants were not a consideration.

Literally, every other date night my wife and I have she asks what I want to do or where I want to go, and this analogy is the perfect representation of what goes on in my head. Just like sitting and staring at a blank piece of paper with no idea what to write. I think this place is going to be perfect for me.

[Total LeeParticipant 1573]

Welcome Yohan, glad you feel that way. I’m telling you, pal, I can relate. For me it was the 50-50 relationship she kept talking about. 50% what she wanted and my 50% was agree or be destroyed. I don’t believe they are sincere when they ask what you want. Women don’t want our opinions. They only want to hear their opinions repeated back to them in a deeper voice.

[YohanParticipant 12]

Total Lee, I can totally see that in most relationships. Until I met my wife, that was essentially how it was with my past girlfriends. But Liz is actually sincere when she asks. Its refreshing lol

[Total LeeParticipant 1573]

If I were sincerely asked, I would draw a blank too!

[VileNordParticipant 766]

Welcome Yohan!

We can only offer advice based upon our subjective experiences. Perhaps therein lies a thread of universal truth connecting all our opinions, but I am not going to discount what you say about your wife. My brother is married to a woman who supports him and never shames him (as far as I can tell). These women do exist.

The brass tacks of MGTOW…. Saying NO when a woman tries to utilize your manhood (your value) without compensation for it. It is about finding respect for your societal value AS A MAN and demanding that women recognize it.

Everything else is icing on the cake and entirely up to you. As long as you have recognized your value in simply being a man and never tolerate a woman trying to shame you for it, you are a man going his own way. If enough men act in this fashion, women will realize their loss.

Lust for comfort suffocates the soul

[Author]

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