Had my first girlfriend at 25, lasted 3 months, I would like to share my story.

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  • #445647
    +15

    Anonymous
    1

    Hello brothers

    Found this site on december 2015 I think, and I Learned a lot since then, lots of stories and experiences can be found here, so I was hoping to add my own story. My english is very basic so please forgive me in advance.

    I met this girl on august 2016, she returned to college after 5 or 6 years out, working in the industry of manufacture, in the area of electronics. Initially I didn’t pay her any attention, like I do with the rest of the girls in my class, and nothing interesting happened during that semester, until the first days of november, when she approached for the first time to say hello. I’m very introvert most of the time, and a lot of times I get the “why are you so serious?” or “you look mad or angry” phrase, so at this point I simply Don’t give a F… anymore, and naturally, she said the same after we exchanged a few words. That was all.

    Days passed and one day, 2 friends and I were doing an audio amplifier for a practice laboratory, I’m studying Electronics Engineering by the way, and she decided to help us with our amp, after seeing that one of our classmates was welding kind of wrong, with a determined, helpful and a little authoritarian attitude she helped us that day, and she talked to us about her experiences in the electronics industry, I was surprised after hearing all of her stories and anecdotes, and after that moment, I started to feel attracted slowly to her.

    I’m 25 and she just turned 30 like a week ago, so I think that a large part of the attraction I felt for her was because in that moment, she seemed far more mature and reasonable than the rest of the girls, and she had some (in a lack of a better way to say it) almost impossible features, she doesn’t like children, doesn’t want to get married, loves muscle and classic cars (I had a Charger 1969 black as wallpaper on my laptop, and she said she loved those cars) she was totally cool with splitting the bills. Etc. Etc.
    I know firsthand that unicorns don’t exist, but I thought several times that she could be one, oh boy, more than once I was surprised by her.

    We started “dating” a couple of times, just as friends, and I was very happy, finally I knew a girl that I liked and that was not like the rest. We got along so well. By the end of november, while we were in her house watching a movie, she suddenly kissed me, She told me that she liked a lot being with me. bla bla.

    I couldn’t believe what was going on, it was a dream? it was real? I decided to let myself go and enjoy it while it lasted, and so it was until February, when we came back from vacations, during december and january almost every day we spend it together, long story short, she began to slowly behave in a more indifferent way, she smokes by the way, and I was ok with that, despite the fact I have never smoked, and so does her brother, and her sister, and her sister’s boyfriend, and her other brother, That put me off a bit, but I still wanted to be with her.

    It was not until a few days before her birthday, when she invited me to a dinner that her mother organized for her, when I realized that literally all her family smokes, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, I could not stand being surrounded by them, don’t get me wrong, I respect and tolerate people who smoke, And I have nothing against it, but in that moment I understood that in the future there would be more situations like that, And I could not accept it, the next day I told her that it was too much for me, that I could not continue being with her. I don’t know if I did the right thing, that day and the next I wanted to regret of my actions, but I didn’t. If I said earlier that I am a very introvert person, guess what, she is the absolute opposite. And that also was a kind of a problem in the end. I saw she wasn’t able to understand an introvert person well, and she confused my silence or seriousness with discomfort or annoyance.

    I still haven’t been able to get her out of my mind completely, adding the fact that I still have to see her for like another year, And I’ve been struggling with that these days, trying to find piece of mind, but I think I learned invaluable lessons, and that’s the most important thing in my opinion.

    —>Keymaster once said something that I will never forget for as long as I live, goes more or less like this:

    : I love you! for now…
    : I always want to be with you! for now…
    : you make me so happy! for now…
    : you are the person I want! for now…

    This happened exactly the first month of being with her.

    If you came all the way here, congratulations, you just earned a couple of , I really appreciate the time you spend reading this, and hope this can be of help or at least as entertainment for other brothers here.

    #445648
    +11
    Sparticus66
    Sparticus66
    Participant
    508

    Sounds like you saved yourself trouble, not least clothes and hair reeking of smoke and lung disease from second hand smoke.
    Also nothing speeds a woman’s progress to hitting the wall more than smoking.

    #445655
    +7
    RedDawn
    RedDawn
    Participant
    1391

    Sounds like you saved yourself trouble, not least clothes and hair reeking of smoke and lung disease from second hand smoke.
    Also nothing speeds a woman’s progress to hitting the wall more than smoking.

    Yep, give it 10 years and she’ll have a face like a dogs arsehole.

    Also that quote from KM really resonates with me!

    : I love you! for now…
    : I always want to be with you! for now…
    : you make me so happy! for now…
    : you are the person I want! for now…

    Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman

    #445673
    +6

    Anonymous
    42

    If you came all the way here, congratulations, you just earned a couple of , I really appreciate the time you spend reading this,

    Pleasure is all mine! Smiling ear to ear!

    Smoke is nasty! Back in the early 90s’ after march Madness 1992 when I quit permanently, a short time after I had a doughnut from Dunking Doughnuts and the f~~~ing thing taste like smoke! Cigarette smoke! Back then people that smoke would chain smoke at the tables, the smoke was thicker than a nightclub enviroment at the time. Ever since then I called them Smoky Doughnuts and wouldn’t touch the f~~~ing things!

    You’re decision to not smoke in the 2nd hand fashion is NOT unreasonable! After quitting myself I never kissed tobacco again! If a woman smoked I saw it as a flag to her self carelessness, drinking too, the last woman I was with tried to get me drinking again so I could drown in her sorrows with her. After her I was DONE with women forever!

    They fill their faces every day with everything from Twinkies to cigarettes to booze!

    Think I wanna deal with that?

    Kiss a drunken ashtray that eats Twinkies?

    F~~~ NO!

    #445682
    +6

    Anonymous
    3

    That’s an unicorn for you? Damn, if that’s the case, I think you’re on the wrong forums, there are plenty of women like that out there.

    The thing is, women who say they don’t like children and don’t want marriage are 10 times worse than women who do. A lot of times they have real issues.

    #445691
    +6
    Awakened
    Awakened
    Participant
    35201

    If all it took you was a crappy 3 month relationship with some lil HO to go MGTOW, then you my friend are a VERY lucky young Man, and you should be GRATEFUL that you didn’t have to SUFFER through years of a HATEFUL marriage, and raising children as well as having your complete future robbed from you !!

    I didn’t even get into the utter FINANCIAL devastation that can RUIN your complete life !!!!!

    You, my friend, should send her a f~~~ing THANK-CARD !!!

    That lil HO brought you to the RED PILL, and your price of admission was only a crappy lil 3 month relationship !!!

    If I was LUCKY enough to trade places with you, my post would be one of CELEBRATION !!!

    And, then I would go out and do whatever the F~~~ that I WANTED to do !!!

    In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

    #445693
    +3
    FocusMode
    FocusMode
    Participant
    35

    The thing is, women who say they don’t like children and don’t want marriage are 10 times worse than women who do. A lot of times they have real issues.

    Care to elaborate? Young mgtow here haha!

    #445708
    +3

    It was not until a few days before her birthday, when she invited me to a dinner that her mother organized for her, when I realized that literally all her family smokes, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, I could not stand being surrounded by them, don’t get me wrong, I respect and tolerate people who smoke, And I have nothing against it, but in that moment I understood that in the future there would be more situations like that, And I could not accept it, the next day I told her that it was too much for me, that I could not continue being with her.

    You absolutely did the right thing. In the top 3 on my list of qualities as a potential mate is: Non-smoker.

    You would have spent a lot of energy trying to get her to stop smoking. Better to be with someone you love “as is.” Even better to be happy by yourself, because of the KM quote. EVERYTHING about women is temporary. Their looks. Their honesty. Their fidelity. Their anger. Their affection. Their happiness. Etc.

    When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

    #445715
    +9

    Anonymous
    3

    Care to elaborate? Young mgtow here haha!

    Let’s say there was this guy. He is dating a woman. He showers her with compliments, takes her out to dinners, picks her up in his car, drives her all over the place, buys her kinds of expensive trinkets and shoes, romances her a lot, spends his time cuddling with her, the whole nine yards. He’s just doing all these things, all for the sake of doing them because he enjoys everything. But, he doesn’t want sex at all.

    Do you believe him?

    So let’s say he’s not being truthful, well that’s typical, some guys no doubt probably would put on such an act to such degree but eventually he’s going to drop the bomb, and be like hey I want some tonight. Hell, many of us probably did something similar, where we would act like we’re not interested in sex when we talk to some women, but everybody knows we’re just trying to f~~~. You’re not really interested in what the chick stuffed in her mouth as breakfast this morning.

    Or, let’s say, he is being truthful, do you honestly think everything is well in his head? Do you honestly think he genuinely doesn’t want sex and genuinely enjoys dating and spending money on that woman and putting up with her all for the sake of just doing it? You’re a man, can you do that? Would you do that? What would I possibly have to do to you to make you like that? And what do you think a man like that is capable of? That’s a real dark individual that you don’t ever want to make angry.

    He has to be either completely dishonest, or clinically insane, correct?

    Children and marriage are sex for women. Some of them kill themselves over not being able to have children and marriage. So it’s the same thing here. Either she’s not being truthful, being the typical chick and changing her mind somewhere down the road, or she is being truthful, where there’s 100% chance she’s completely f~~~ed in the head.

    So you’re looking at dishonesty or insanity. Pick your poison.

    #445753
    +9
    Y_
    Y_
    Participant
    4591

    Nice of you to lay it out – well written and honest.

    Two things – you are 25 and not had a girlfriend before this. You label yourself an introvert.

    Right off the bat I can tell you you will have all kinds of thoughts about females EXCEPT the ones that matter.

    You need to step back and ask yourself – what was she really like? Why did she choose you (no offense intended)? What exactly did you have in common with her?

    I do not need to tell you the answers. They are all alike. The good stuff is only in YOUR mind. That’s how it works.

    If you stop listening to the lizard brain (which we all have) you will make it. You are damned lucky. Don’t push it.

    #445803
    +5

    Hey, your English is far from basic! Nice work. I understand the older woman thing. By comparison, she seems a million times more mature and interesting than the girls your age. In college I fell for a girl who was seven (yes . . . SEVEN . . . *facepalm*) years older than I for that very reason, because all the girls my age were spoiled bitchy entitled airheads. Her true colors came out before long, however.

    Women are better at multitasking? Fucking up several things at once is not multitasking.

    #445829
    +3
    Stargazer
    Stargazer
    Participant
    12505

    The thing is, women who say they don’t like children and don’t want marriage are 10 times worse than women who do. A lot of times they have real issues.

    I agree with this. It’s natural for men to not want kids but women are SUPPOSED to want them. For a woman to be openly hostile to the idea of having children is for her to reject herself and the primary task she is set on this earth to do. It would be the same as a man who refused to work and improve himself.

    Yes, we can transcend our base programming with logic and reason, but there is a huge difference between the man who says “I refuse to contribute to this society that treats me like a disposable utility.” and the one who says “F~~~ working, I’ll just live off other people… I didn’t ask to be born and the world owes me.”

    That is how I feel about women who do not want to get married and start a family. Given that I strongly doubt they have a rational justification for refusing to procreate, there must be something broken inside of them.

    #445832
    +3

    Anonymous
    1

    Sounds like you saved yourself trouble, not least clothes and hair reeking of smoke and lung disease from second hand smoke.
    Also nothing speeds a woman’s progress to hitting the wall more than smoking.

    You’re right Sparticus66, funny thing is that she looks like she’s 23 or 24, but is only a matter of time, and It sickened every time I had to smell that smoke.

    Yep, give it 10 years and she’ll have a face like a dogs arsehole.

    Also that quote from KM really resonates with me!

    Honestly, KM is a man full of wisdom, Every time he posts something, is some invaluable thing.

    Pleasure is all mine! Smiling ear to ear!

    Smoke is nasty! Back in the early 90s’ after march Madness 1992 when I quit permanently, a short time after I had a doughnut from Dunking Doughnuts and the f~~~ing thing taste like smoke! Cigarette smoke! Back then people that smoke would chain smoke at the tables, the smoke was thicker than a nightclub enviroment at the time. Ever since then I called them Smoky Doughnuts and wouldn’t touch the f~~~ing things!

    You’re decision to not smoke in the 2nd hand fashion is NOT unreasonable! After quitting myself I never kissed tobacco again! If a woman smoked I saw it as a flag to her self carelessness, drinking too, the last woman I was with tried to get me drinking again so I could drown in her sorrows with her. After her I was DONE with women forever!

    They fill their faces every day with everything from Twinkies to cigarettes to booze!

    Think I wanna deal with that?

    Kiss a drunken ashtray that eats Twinkies?

    F~~~ NO!

    MG-ɹǝʍo┴ I appreciate you liked it, like I said I have no problem with smoking people, the problem was that sometimes I coudn’t be able to step away a little when she did that, and it happened often, but I guess I have to thank her for that, Now I strictly won’t talk or be friends with a girl who smokes, I don’t care how beautiful and hot she might be. Not worth it.

    That’s an unicorn for you? Damn, if that’s the case, I think you’re on the wrong forums, there are plenty of women like that out there.

    The thing is, women who say they don’t like children and don’t want marriage are 10 times worse than women who do. A lot of times they have real issues.

    I thought she may be could be one, but I know they don’t exist, and also because the first month we were together , she liked to cook me many things, and I helped every time, and she had a very good seasoning, but she got bored of doing it I guess.

    If all it took you was a crappy 3 month relationship with some lil HO to go MGTOW, then you my friend are a VERY lucky young Man, and you should be GRATEFUL that you didn’t have to SUFFER through years of a HATEFUL marriage, and raising children as well as having your complete future robbed from you !!

    I didn’t even get into the utter FINANCIAL devastation that can RUIN your complete life !!!!!

    You, my friend, should send her a f~~~ing THANK-CARD !!!

    That lil HO brought you to the RED PILL, and your price of admission was only a crappy lil 3 month relationship !!!

    If I was LUCKY enough to trade places with you, my post would be one of CELEBRATION !!!

    And, then I would go out and do whatever the F~~~ that I WANTED to do !!!

    Thanks for your response Awakened, thing is, I already considered myself a Men going his own way when I found this site on 2015, and when I met her, I thought “well, let’s see how this goes, I want to know for myself what this is all about” At first It was not like I had fallen in love when she kissed me, But I will admit that later I liked a lot being with her, being with someone who likes you, someone who wants you. When I look back, I can say that 95% of the time I spent with her I enjoyed a lot, but later that happened, and here we are.

    You absolutely did the right thing. In the top 3 on my list of qualities as a potential mate is: Non-smoker.

    You would have spent a lot of energy trying to get her to stop smoking. Better to be with someone you love “as is.” Even better to be happy by yourself, because of the KM quote. EVERYTHING about women is temporary. Their looks. Their honesty. Their fidelity. Their anger. Their affection. Their happiness. Etc.

    Solomon’s Wisdom, you’re totally right, I decided to be with her because she took the first step, now if I met a girl, and she smokes, she’s immediately out of my minimun interest.

    Nice of you to lay it out – well written and honest.

    Two things – you are 25 and not had a girlfriend before this. You label yourself an introvert.

    Right off the bat I can tell you you will have all kinds of thoughts about females EXCEPT the ones that matter.

    You need to step back and ask yourself – what was she really like? Why did she choose you (no offense intended)? What exactly did you have in common with her?

    I do not need to tell you the answers. They are all alike. The good stuff is only in YOUR mind. That’s how it works.

    If you stop listening to the lizard brain (which we all have) you will make it. You are damned lucky. Don’t push it.

    Thanks for your response Yumbo, would you like to explain a bit more this part “you will have all kinds of thoughts about females EXCEPT the ones that matter.”

    as for why I think she choose me, she said to me one day that she liked it that we did things that she was not used to do, that I took her out of her comfort zone, before me she used to go out a lot to bars and canteens, she loves to drink, and after 2 months she wanted to do the same, with me, but because we are so opposite, I didn’t like to be just in a bar drinking and smelling the smoke of her cigarettes, so Also because of that, It didn’t work anymore.

    Hey, your English is far from basic! Nice work. I understand the older woman thing. By comparison, she seems a million times more mature and interesting than the girls your age. In college I fell for a girl who was seven (yes . . . SEVEN . . . *facepalm*) years older than I for that very reason, because all the girls my age were spoiled bitchy entitled airheads. Her true colors came out before long, however.

    Can’t Stump Trump, Glad to see I wasn’t the only one jajaja, but in the end is the same story pal.

    #445836
    +3
    Stargazer
    Stargazer
    Participant
    12505

    Just think of all the money you’ll save on dry cleaning.

    #445838
    +1

    Anonymous
    1

    The thing is, women who say they don’t like children and don’t want marriage are 10 times worse than women who do. A lot of times they have real issues.

    I agree with this. It’s natural for men to not want kids but women are SUPPOSED to want them. For a woman to be openly hostile to the idea of having children is for her to reject herself and the primary task she is set on this earth to do. It would be the same as a man who refused to work and improve himself.

    Yes, we can transcend our base programming with logic and reason, but there is a huge difference between the man who says “I refuse to contribute to this society that treats me like a disposable utility.” and the one who says “F~~~ working, I’ll just live off other people… I didn’t ask to be born and the world owes me.”

    That is how I feel about women who do not want to get married and start a family. There is something broken inside of them.

    well, I can tell you that she was not the type of “F~~~ working, I’ll just live off other people… I didn’t ask to be born and the world owes me.” because she worked in several companies of manufacture here in Mexico, just for herself.

    And one day she told me, without me saying anything about it, how she hated all the single moms thing and all the aid and benefits that the government gives them, and she was being sincere while saying it. Also chats like that one happened more than once.

    #445849
    +3

    Anonymous
    3

    well, I can tell you that she was not the type of “F~~~ working, I’ll just live off other people… I didn’t ask to be born and the world owes me.” because she worked in several companies of manufacture here in Mexico, just for herself.

    And one day she told me, without me saying anything about it, how she hated all the single moms thing and all the aid and benefits that the government gives them, and she was being sincere while saying it. Also chats like that one happened more than once.

    Of course she hated those single mothers. I knew that without you telling me, because they are doing something that she couldn’t do and getting benefits and attention for it, whereas she has to play the independent strong woman role working in manufacturing.

    Same reason why women, especially average looking working women, always hate the hot chick in the group. Why? Because they know she gets all the attention and every single one of them wishes they were her.

    When a woman tells you something, a lot of times she’s trying to convince herself. It’s like this Ronda Rousey coming out and constantly spilling crap in interviews about her disliking the so called do-nothing-bitches, who just make money by looking pretty. Then the next day, goes out and do these glamour photoshoots. You think she really hates them because they “do nothing”? Or does she hate them because they’re something that she’s not, that she wishes she was?

    Had you stayed in the relationship longer, I wouldn’t had to say any of this. You would have understood all this already. The more you talk about her, the more broken she seems.

    I had a girlfriend one time that hated Asian women. She was this tall white girl. She was always talking about how, ehh what is it with these Asian women, running around looking like little children with their Hello Kitty s~~~, like little dolls with their child like voice, everything is so child like, eh disgusting, I on the other hand am this mature looking woman. Truth is she knew deep down she’ll never be as cute as those Asian women she hates. And months later I found out her ex called her “child” and she called him “daddy”. Who is being a child and disgusting now?

    #445857
    +2
    Keymaster
    Keymaster
    Keymaster

    Had my first girlfriend at 25, lasted 3 months

    Before I started reading , I saw the title and thought: no “girlfriend” for at least 9-12 months.

    The first time you spoke to her was November. Whatever happens for 9-12 months, she is not your “girlfriend”. This avoids all kinds of messy mini-dramas, unnecessary break ups and you need to know more about her before she becomes a “girlfriend”.

    You don’t have sex and think “POOF!! She’s my girlfriend now”.

    As you said…..

    —>Keymaster once said something that I will never forget for as long as I live, goes more or less like this:

    : I love you! for now…
    : I always want to be with you! for now…
    : you make me so happy! for now…
    : you are the person I want! for now…

    So glad you remember. Even when woman makes a “sincere” declaration, she believes it, and in her mind she is not lying. But every man also knows women can (and do) also “change their mind” the next morning. That’s why you always need to mentally append whatever she says with “RIGHT NOW”.

    “I really like you alot”… RIGHT NOW.
    “I think you could really be the one”…. RIGHT NOW.
    “I want you”…. RIGHT NOW.

    Just as easily as she says those things, she will withdraw them completely whenever she decides. Understanding this means it’s distinctly unwise to make decisions based on how she “feels right now”.

    Women can flick that switch “ON” and “OFF” too easily for you to just be available whenever she decides.

    I couldn’t believe what was going on, it was a dream? it was real?

    That’s ^^ why.

    Even YOU don’t believe how she can just flick a switch “ON” like that. So it doesn’t matter if she is all over you right now. She can do that when she is a “girlfriend”. Maybe later – much later – when you know her better.

    The way women switch from hot to cold is just nuts.

    So if she wasn’t so into you yesterday, ask yourself “was it anything I did?”. If you didn’t change her from cold to hot, then it happened in her own head. I would never trust that for a good reason, and you didn’t either.

    The criteria for sex is based on one thing only – ATTRACTION.
    You don’t even need to like each other!!

    The criteria for a “relationship” is a mile-long list of things that are worked on and earned OVER TIME. You DO need to like her to want a “relationship” with her, and vice versa.

    during december and january almost every day we spend it together,

    Too much too fast. It just doesn’t make sense to have sex and then spend every day with her. Once or twice a week max, OK, but the “no girlfriend” for 9-12 months guideline works, because women can’t keep up an act that long.

    Have a “girlfriend” when YOU decide you like her enough.
    Not when she decides “RIGHT NOW”.

    I think I learned invaluable lessons, and that’s the most important thing in my opinion.

    Definitely.

    If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.
    #445965
    +3

    Anonymous
    43

    great story, brother. good English, well written.

    #446118
    +1
    Atton
    Atton
    Participant

    almost impossible features, she doesn’t like children, doesn’t want to get married,

    She the woman who hasn’t had her tubes tied and magically one day suddenly doesn’t take birth control.

    A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

    #447381
    +2
    Y_
    Y_
    Participant
    4591

    Thanks for your response Yumbo, would you like to explain a bit more this part “you will have all kinds of thoughts about females EXCEPT the ones that matter.”

    Apologies if I wasn’t clear – should have been. = Introverts (myself included) tend to live in a sometimes-real world where we unconsciously depend on society and our peers (most of the time anyway) to tell us about how things are outside of our built -up fortresses.

    This is dangerous – it relies on someone else’s or group’s view of what is acceptable or not – rather than us going out there and making those decisions or opinions for ourselves.

    Females and what they really are one of THE biggest lies that will be told to intorverts. From media to manginas to friends – we never get the truth.

    We are fed ‘thoughts’ that are not really our own on norms and acceptable behaviour regarding females that are very un-MGTOW – given by the feminista advertising system.

    That I what I meant. Our thoughts/expectations on females prior to experience is the opposite of what females are really like and this is what really matters.

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