Had an interesting conversation today with a client..

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

So, I did my delivery and setup for a family friend I known for decades. A good man is a big believer of family values. He’s had his ups and downs within his marriage and asked me about my now ex-wife. He didn’t know I wasn’t married any longer, but noticed I no longer was wearing my ring. I said, it just didn’t work. He’s old school Italian, so I think they frown on divorce or something. I think Catholics in general frown on divorce.. Not sure. I’m from a mixed religious background, but never really subscribed to either. I always had a hard time confirming to someone else’s expectations that are not in line with mine. He said you need to sacrifice and there are highs and lows, but it is par for the course. I said really? How do you stay with a woman who will not talk to you? Couldn’t care less about you when you’re going through a downturn in business? When I was sick or going through recovery (surgery), help as little as possible? When money was low, she would dangle money over me and say does ForeverDone need some money to help pay his bills (keep in mind, my bills were our bills for the house, food, health insurance, utilities)? He said, simple, you made a vow, and you work at it. I said, how can ONE PERSON make a marriage between TWO PEOPLE work? Simple, you talk it out? And if she doesn’t talk? You need to use the right combination to unlock her from the void she’s in. I said, well, after 1.5 years or misery and actually trying with counselors (which she blocked me from going to), books I read, but she wouldn’t, marriage retreats to help rekindle our “love” which she refused, offering a family intervention, which she refused, I was out of options. I was living with a roommate and starting a new business. I couldn’t risk losing my assets I’ve worked so hard for and give half to her for no reason.

So, he said this is very said. The younger generation gives up too easily. Seems there were certainly issues within your marriage, but in time it prob. would had gotten better. All in all, it seems you left because you were more concerned about your financial well being and assets then your commitment to the marriage vows. I said maybe, but I couldn’t do it alone. When I over hear my wife (now ex-wife) and her piece of s~~~ mother discussing another guy for her to date after me, saying she wishes she can leave, but isn’t strong enough, and offers up an open marriage, I just couldn’t stand by like a simp and allow myself to be continued to disrespected. Yes, he said, it sounds like her love changed after a few years towards you. Why did you marry her?

Answer: I thought I couldn’t do better and was tired of the dating scene. During dating, it was wonderful. She really seemed that she loved and wanted the best for me, and I wanted the same for her. Then life happened, she blamed me for not having kids yet, and I ruined her life. That still hurts as that was never my intension I said. We had a string of deaths in both families, I was going through medical rehabilitation and the timing was just off. On top of that, she was briefed of this prior to marriage and she said she loves me and she’d never leave me. Well, yes, I left her, but she left the marriage. It was only a matter of time that in a year or two it would had continued to degrade and then turn into a long marriage and I would had been destroyed financially. The legal fees alone were twice the amount of the wedding just from my side.

He then said, basically you left because you were worried about your assets and financial security again. You didn’t love her. If you had true love for her you would had found a reason and a way to stay and work on it.

At that point, I just wished him well and said I had to be somewhere.

The conversation makes me feel numb in many ways. I am writing this while I’m outside @ 2:30 AM smoking a cigar and sipping on some scotch. I’ve been alone most of my life, so the loneliness doesn’t bother me that much. But I will say, I do miss the good times and someone aside from myself at home with me. With that said, I cannot and will not allow myself to fall victim to my own vices.

I thought it was an interesting conversation to share to show how the old school and current generation look at marriage. It’s a somber moment to me as he did make me feel like I left her in the dust, even though, every time I extended an olive branch, she p~~~ed on it. Really do not understand why he didn’t see my perspective more than hers.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

F~~~ him. Probably his wife is banging someone else.
Italian woman are famous in Europe for their infidelity. At least here lot of people say it.

Misery loves company he is f~~~ed and want you to be f~~~ed too.

Don’t argue with blue pills they can’t be saved. You can only save a blue pill after he goes trough the meat grinder.
😩 Sad but is the truth.
I really envy the organic MGTOW those guys avoided the meat grinder.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[PuniShredderParticipant 2268]

He does t get it. His generation has a completely different set of values. People are different now and women are certainly WAY MORE empowered.

Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

[Anonymous 3]

An old, old school Catholic Italian divorce is this:
The man lives upstairs. The woman lives downstairs.
Times change. The world changes. The culture changed. A PUA today was a gigolo yesterday. A woman who no man would bother with is a feminist college instructor, mother Earth, pseudo spiritual massage therapist who f~~~s a lot of losers & calls herself ” liberated ” Its all a sick delusion & some guys enjoy servitude to a woman, it allows them the freedom to ” not choose ”
We used to say ” f~~~’em all but six & save them for pall bearers. 😎

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

You spoke with a man who took the blue pill. He can only see it that way.

Peace brothers

[MeshakParticipant 280]

The answer in this case, was to shove a grenade in her mouth, pull the pin and walk out. No one has walked in your shoes. I understand you miss that feeling that we’ve all experienced at least once. The one where you feel like you’ve met your “soul mate” and all is good in the world.

The truth is: It was a lie. Deception and partial self deception. It was the matrix. It wasn’t real. They cannot maintain the mask for long. I am thankful that you got out brother.

Meshak

[Anonymous 1]

ForeverDone wrote:

. I’ve been alone most of my life, so the loneliness doesn’t bother me that much

Makes me think of that robin williams quote.

Only time I ever feel lonely is in a room full of people. I love my solitude.

[TicParticipant 4329]

ForeverDone wrote:

The conversation makes me feel numb in many ways. I am writing this while I’m outside @ 2:30 AM smoking a cigar and sipping on some scotch. I’ve been alone most of my life, so the loneliness doesn’t bother me that much. But I will say, I do miss the good times and someone aside from myself at home with me. With that said, I cannot and will not allow myself to fall victim to my own vices.

It took me years to understand this but it finally clicked that I enjoy being alone. Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same thing. I was often shamed for wanting to be alone, but, that is society. People don’t like loners, because it creates feelings of uncertainty and uneasiness about that individual. Yet, from what I gather, all deeper thinkers, philosophers, prophets, geniuses were loners; not that I think I deserve to labeled as any of these.

Being comfortable in oneself to spend time alone and enjoy quiet serenity of the world around us is one of the true great gifts a man can get. And I get the sense that many married men seek to attain that freedom, and hence envy those of us that have it.

God bless peace and freedom.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

Catholicism has more rules and taboos than most other religions, or at least they are adhered to more vehemently.

Like most traditional systems the man is expected to slave away and stay regardless of her unfulfilled promises. You don’t owe anybody any explanation. According to his own belief system he’s a sinner who has to pay alms and confess his sins to another flawed human being who consults the sin payment chart for the payment due, and then magically he’s returned to good spiritual standing.

Better to answer if you ever feel the need again with something like. “She broke her vows so I cancelled the contract.” Love, honor, and cherish. In sickness and in health. Just remember she broke the marriage, you just made it official and legal.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[narwhalParticipant]

If you were married for only 1.5 years, tell him you got an annulment. He’ll understand that.

More to the point, I understand exactly how this guys feels and thinks. I was there, and did the noble thing and fought the good fight. I felt guilty as hell for not fighting harder, whatever that means, to save my marriage. I suppose I could have turned myself into some sort of superman that compelled my wife to stay, to consider her actions. It was technically possible.

The reality goes beyond just the fact that marriage is a s~~~ty contract. It’s an institution setup for failure because there is no consequence to women for destructive behavior. There is for a husband, but not for a wife. Not enough anyway.

Any argument that there shouldn’t be any need for consequences because there’s love…just doesn’t hold up. Parents love their kids…does that mean there should be no punishment when they exhibit bad behavior. Ok, so a wife is an adult an shouldn’t need punishment…why is the husband punished then? Why is there law to punish people for bad behavior. Wouldn’t love be enough? Does Jesus ever say that with love there is no consequence for bad behavior? Did He ever say that you don’t need to at least repent for your sins?

It’s easy to argue that a woman loves a man, she shouldn’t marry him because it’s cruel. I think the reverse could be argued as well, if a man loves a woman he shouldn’t marry her. In doing so, he’s signing over his right to provide consequences for bad behavior. That’s something she needs, something everyone needs in order to live a happy life. It’s like raising a child without punishing them…it’s just cruel.

So that guy who’s living his married life. It’s paper thin and he does not have the power to do what sometimes needs to be done for what’s good for his family. He can’t provide for what his wife needs, the government assures that. She will struggle greater with temptation to leave the marriage because the door is so wide open.

I would argue that Satan, if there is such a being, absolutely loves the marriages of today, even among highly religious people. It creates every temptation imaginable to betray and hurt the people you love most.

Ok. Then do it.

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

Meshak wrote:

The answer in this case, was to shove a grenade in her mouth, pull the pin and walk out. No one has walked in your shoes. I understand you miss that feeling that we’ve all experienced at least once. The one where you feel like you’ve met your “soul mate” and all is good in the world.

The truth is: It was a lie. Deception and partial self deception. It was the matrix. It wasn’t real. They cannot maintain the mask for long. I am thankful that you got out brother.

Ain’t that for s~~~ sure. She couldn’t even last five years being married to me (that’s how long her previous marriage was til she filed for divorce). I guess it kinda means I’m too hard to live with. You know paying for all the bills, cleaning, entertaining, fixing her car, driving her to places, taking her on vacations where she rarely spent much money. When it was her turn, she’d bitch and moan about paying the bill. Yet, she made six figures… Go figure she had no problem spending my hard earned money, but when it came to hers, no dice. Interestingly enough, during dating, she’d spend a lot of $$$ on me. I never asked her to and I feel kinda bad about that part. She also bought me this really expensive marriage present ($5k +), it’s from one of those high end brands. I got her a cubic zirconia bracelet and earrings. Still hard for me to sell as I look at that and the other things she’s bought, and I just say what the f~~~. I have moved everything into a box and started to sell some things off. However, I’ve not sold that yet.

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

Tic wrote:

ForeverDone wrote:

The conversation makes me feel numb in many ways. I am writing this while I’m outside @ 2:30 AM smoking a cigar and sipping on some scotch. I’ve been alone most of my life, so the loneliness doesn’t bother me that much. But I will say, I do miss the good times and someone aside from myself at home with me. With that said, I cannot and will not allow myself to fall victim to my own vices.

It took me years to understand this but it finally clicked that I enjoy being alone. Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same thing. I was often shamed for wanting to be alone, but, that is society. People don’t like loners, because it creates feelings of uncertainty and uneasiness about that individual. Yet, from what I gather, all deeper thinkers, philosophers, prophets, geniuses were loners; not that I think I deserve to labeled as any of these.

Being comfortable in oneself to spend time alone and enjoy quiet serenity of the world around us is one of the true great gifts a man can get. And I get the sense that many married men seek to attain that freedom, and hence envy those of us that have it.

Yea, the rest of my family (who’s left) doesn’t understand why I prefer to be alone. Actually, I wouldn’t mind having a companion, but the costs and risks are just too high. I’ve tried dating, but they’re all the same. I tried women from different backgrounds, ages, religions, no luck. Just too risky. Rather keep my stuff than put myself in the crosshairs of a greedy bitch.

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

Ogre wrote:

Catholicism has more rules and taboos than most other religions, or at least they are adhered to more vehemently.

Like most traditional systems the man is expected to slave away and stay regardless of her unfulfilled promises. You don’t owe anybody any explanation. According to his own belief system he’s a sinner who has to pay alms and confess his sins to another flawed human being who consults the sin payment chart for the payment due, and then magically he’s returned to good spiritual standing.

Better to answer if you ever feel the need again with something like. “She broke her vows so I cancelled the contract.” Love, honor, and cherish. In sickness and in health. Just remember she broke the marriage, you just made it official and legal.

He’s reply would prob. be real men stick around and let her pull the trigger. F~~~ no.

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

narwhal wrote:

If you were married for only 1.5 years, tell him you got an annulment. He’ll understand that.

More to the point, I understand exactly how this guys feels and thinks. I was there, and did the noble thing and fought the good fight. I felt guilty as hell for not fighting harder, whatever that means, to save my marriage. I suppose I could have turned myself into some sort of superman that compelled my wife to stay, to consider her actions. It was technically possible.

The reality goes beyond just the fact that marriage is a s~~~ty contract. It’s an institution setup for failure because there is no consequence to women for destructive behavior. There is for a husband, but not for a wife. Not enough anyway.

Any argument that there shouldn’t be any need for consequences because there’s love…just doesn’t hold up. Parents love their kids…does that mean there should be no punishment when they exhibit bad behavior. Ok, so a wife is an adult an shouldn’t need punishment…why is the husband punished then? Why is there law to punish people for bad behavior. Wouldn’t love be enough? Does Jesus ever say that with love there is no consequence for bad behavior? Did He ever say that you don’t need to at least repent for your sins?

It’s easy to argue that a woman loves a man, she shouldn’t marry him because it’s cruel. I think the reverse could be argued as well, if a man loves a woman he shouldn’t marry her. In doing so, he’s signing over his right to provide consequences for bad behavior. That’s something she needs, something everyone needs in order to live a happy life. It’s like raising a child without punishing them…it’s just cruel.

So that guy who’s living his married life. It’s paper thin and he does not have the power to do what sometimes needs to be done for what’s good for his family. He can’t provide for what his wife needs, the government assures that. She will struggle greater with temptation to leave the marriage because the door is so wide open.

I would argue that Satan, if there is such a being, absolutely loves the marriages of today, even among highly religious people. It creates every temptation imaginable to betray and hurt the people you love most.

This is why no fault divorce should be thrown out. No fault divorce basically nullifies the original meaning of marriage. Even the original author of the no fault divorce, Ronald Reagan, said he made a huge mistake. Granted, he did it for his own good (to get out of his first marriage), but it really was the fall of the traditional marriage. He and feminists killed the ORIGINAL institution of marriage. The bible, new testament, states something about do not listen and resist the sirens (hoars). I am no Bible thumper, but perhaps some words of both the old and new testament had some true meanings and warnings in life.

[Author]

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