Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › Going to miss "Jack".
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EscapedMentalPatient 2 years, 3 months ago.
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Well, after calling Calgary, Canada my home for just over nine years, I will be transplanting myself to Eastern Canada this week. Back to being a Maritimer. I’ve got salt in my blood and it won’t take long to feel at home again.
On Sunday of this week, I will be flying the coop and starting a new journey. It’s been a ton of work getting ready, settling my affairs and such. I’m very excited about the change and looking forward to opening a new chapter in my life. As I am not a metropolitan person at heart, there will be little I miss about Calgary as a city itself. I very much crave the rural lifestyle again and the general buzz of a city has never really been my “thing”. As a fellow who is generally fairly isolated by choice, there are also few people that I’ll miss. But make no mistake, there will be some.
I’ll call him “Jack”.
When I first moved into this house just under a decade ago, I had chosen a place which had a decent price tag attached to it. At the time, that was no easy feat, as Calgary was booming as an oil town. It was pretty much the Dallas, Texas of Canada. Inherently, due to my housing choice, I certainly didn’t end up in what one would call the “poshest” of neighborhoods but the ‘hood was and is by no means unlivable. But, as the nature of the beast reared itself, public housing was built a short stone’s throw from my place. With this addition of publicly funded housing came an absolute plethora of very low income families. As with all good intended human projects this brought people of all ilk. There are those who genuinely suffer through no fault of their own and then those who abuse such systems. But I digress; this block constructed in the name of welfare and humanity brought a pretty special person into my life.
I first met Jack when he was 10. I remember the day quite clearly, as our introduction was a strange and memorable one indeed.
I was sprawled out underneath my 1990 GMC, changing the oil and doing a grease job. The garage door was open so that I could enjoy the sunshine streaming in: I’ve always liked having a house who’s rear is South facing so that I can enjoy sunrises and sunsets alike. As I was spinning the filter off, the light suddenly faded a bit as it does when something is placed in it’s path. When I say this, I do not say it in a mean-spirited manner whatsoever. It got somewhat darker and as I glanced up, there was an absolutely enormous head peering underneath my front bumper. I was somewhat taken aback and actually banged my head on a cross-member underneath my truck.
That moment brought a young, hydrocephalic fellow into my life.
There hovered a gigantic head with bulging eyes, complete with mouth agape.
“Whatcha doin’?!?!?!?!” shouted this suddenly appearing, pumpkin-sized apparition beneath my truck.
I had been more than a bit surprised and as I couldn’t yet fully see who this was, and as the sun was partially in my eyes I more or less shouted back “Whaaaaaaat the hell are YOU doing?!?!?!”. I had no inkling yet that this was a child, or why at all this giant head had floated into my goddamned garage.
Jack scurried away, out of sight quickly. I rolled myself out from underneath the truck and peered out of my garage just in time to see this frightening apparition tearing down the alley. It was only then that it was apparent to me that he was a kid.
Sometime over the next couple of days, I had noticed him out my front window. He was across the way, playing in his front yard, outside one of the public housing “family” units. Jack did indeed have a very large, miss-shapen head due to the hydrocephalus inflicted upon him. This horrible disease had very apparently taken hold of the lad in the severest of appearances. As it often is with children who suffer from such seemingly inhuman maladies, the disease is often topped off with additional insults upon the human dignity and spirit. The curse of being “different”, and often inevitably alone and without friends. Jack sat by himself, middle of the day on his front lawn with one of the newer Tonka trucks; absolutely beating the s~~~ out of it in glee with a plastic hammer. Whatever he was envisioning himself doing, he was doing one hell of a job as he whacked the yellow bastard into submission. The level of pity that I felt for this kid was all at once consuming and overwhelming. I felt horrible that I’d reacted the way I did when he’d peered under my truck, but in my own defense, it had taken me completely by surprise. I decided to somehow go introduce myself; I threw my jean jacket on and sauntered down the street to where he was performing his mysterious and violent repairs.
“Whatcha doin?”, I asked as I came close to his imaginary shop.
“Im FIXIN’ it!!!” he more or less yelled back at me.
“Cool, dude. What’s wrong with it?”. He looked back at me, somewhat confused with my query. I could see that he was struggling with an answer, so I didn’t press anything home. I casually chatted with him a bit more and then made my way back home.
Over the next couple of weeks, I learned via my neighbor and friend that “Jack” was new to the neighborhood. He was the child of a single mother, home-schooled and in general a pretty isolated kid. Not long after, I decided to introduce myself to his mother.
Meeting her was pretty much as I’d expected it would be. I’d noticed that the kid was out of doors most of the day, by himself, hanging out in the front yard. Undoubtedly, this was the mother’s idea of “home-schooling” the kid: collecting socially intended monies to support the kid, while seating her fat ass inside, smoking cigarettes, drinking and f~~~ing whatever desperate, sorry bastard came her way that particular week. When she answered the door, the smell coming from her and the house was truly enough to make me gag, quite literally. There wasn’t even a hint of a smile on her face, she looked like she’d just got out of bed in the middle of the day and simply had that look about her that says loudly: “I don’t give a s~~~ about anything and I don’t give a s~~~ that you give a s~~~”. I kept the conversation short, except to ask her in wonder if it was ok that her kid come and hang out with me in my garage. Her reaction was also pretty much what I’d expected. She didn’t give a s~~~.
As I tend to make anecdotes such as the one I’m making now a little on the “longish” side, I’ll try not to draw this out into a novel-sized post. I’ll say that over the next days, weeks, months and indeed years, “Jack” and I became friends, and my garage and back yard became the kid’s second home. Jack would show up at my house on a daily basis whenever I got home from work, looking to just have somebody to talk to and hang with. That kid, now a young adult, learned everything I taught him just like a dry sponge. I learned from him as well. His attitude, sense of humour about his own condition, his innocence, his dignity and his complete lack of a sense of being entitled to anything was humbling to me. I’ve taught that young fellow about gardening, tree work, mechanics, home repair, cooking and of course about many of the queries that a young fellow has about life. The sort of queries that a fledgling has to work up courage to ask out of fear of the awkwardness of the situation.
Jack can rebuild a .350 cubic inch Chev engine from scratch, he can fell an entire tree whether it be Arborist style, or open-felling style and he can do it like a p~~~ed off, French-Canadian logger. Jack can make a mean-ass lasagna. Jack had his first beer with me. Saw his first nudie magazine in my garage. Kid knows how to plant potatoes and tomatoes and how to tend to ’em.
Despite what the world has thrown at this young gentleman, he holds that big head high, and the guy will soon be taking on the world.
I’m going to miss my house. Going to miss some of my neighbors. Going to miss some of the familiarity that comes with keeping down roots. But honestly, most of all, I’m going to miss the kid with the big f~~~ing head. And I’ll tell you this. If there is a joke anywhere about a kid with a big head, that kid knows it, tells it with a sardonic smile and enlightens those who have the pleasure of meeting him.
I’ll miss Jack the most.
Great story and safe travels on your next chapter.
Anonymous42F~~~ Jack!
Come visit MG-Tower! I’m only 2 hrs. from the border! And yes the air is sometimes salty and sea smelling, when it isn’t a Westerly smelling like a San Andreas or Alberta forest fire!
Back to being a Maritimer. I’ve got salt in my blood and it won’t take long to feel at home again.
May the winds always fill your sail.
If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.
Safe travels Brother, good luck on your new journey, you helped Jack with his.
"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."
Great story and safe travels on your next chapter.
Thank you, Howard. Love the avatar by the way. lol that’s great.
F~~~ Jack!
Come visit MG-Tower! I’m only 2 hrs. from the border! And yes the air is sometimes salty and sea smelling, when it isn’t a Westerly smelling like a San Andreas or Alberta forest fire!
hahaha, sounds good, Tower. You never know, that might well be a distinct possibility brother. Cheers.
Back to being a Maritimer. I’ve got salt in my blood and it won’t take long to feel at home again.
May the winds always fill your sail.
Thank you, good sir. I’ll keep the Jib primed. And like Max Rockatansky from your avatar, i’ll keep both barrels loaded and the supercharger at the ready.
Safe travels Brother, good luck on your new journey, you helped Jack with his.
Right on, Wally, I appreciate it brother. I like to think that Jack and I learned a little something from each other. That kid had more meals at my house than his own. I’d like to have him out for a visit at some point, that’s for sure. Cheers, man.
Good story EMP. It reminds us as MGTOW that it is possible to contribute to raising children without having to breed our own and risk having them alienated from us. The values of teaching an otherwise ostracised child really cool life skills counterbalances his grim home life. I would love to hear more of this type story, as it is too easy to get into pessimistic content. I am surprised that he did not have his hydrocepahly shunted… It is worth reading the back story of who invented the shunt btw…
Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.
That is a once in a lifetime relationship. Great story.
Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.
Great read, a nice deviation from the norm.
We can definitely have an impact on lives without having children, this is proof.
Who knows what Jack would have been if not for your intercession. You are an angel in his life, goodbye will be hard for you both but it has to happen one way or another.
You left him great wisdom and awesome skills, I’ll never be able to do some of the things Jack does and you have my deep respect for that.
PS, MGTOWERs comment made me laugh out loud and look like a loon.
Chase a check, never chase a chick...
Good story EMP. It reminds us as MGTOW that it is possible to contribute to raising children without having to breed our own and risk having them alienated from us. The values of teaching an otherwise ostracised child really cool life skills counterbalances his grim home life. I would love to hear more of this type story, as it is too easy to get into pessimistic content. I am surprised that he did not have his hydrocepahly shunted… It is worth reading the back story of who invented the shunt btw…
Thank you, o2. Indeed sir, I agree with what you’ve said. Regardless of our own social constructs and the current human condition: kids are sometimes just tossed into the mix without a hope in hell. They don’t ask to be born. On a better note, the young fellow did indeed have a shunt performed (to the best of my knowledge), although at what point this happened I’m uncertain of. I’ve been unable to garner all that much information from his mother (who still to this day is an absolute piece of s~~~). She’s never displayed an iota of gratitude or even acknowledgement. She’s been more than happy to have someone “get him out of her hair”; that’s always been the prevalent feeling I’ve taken away from the situation.
“Jack” used to talk about “some operation” he had as a kid. Unfortunately for him, it took quite some time (as in other cases) to see significant reduction. Very fortunately for him as he sits now as a young man, his appearance has improved greatly. One still has an idea that there were difficulties for the lad, as his head remains somewhat disproportionate to some degree. We of course ensure that this condition is not the centerpiece of our conversations, and I’ve always been exceedingly careful not to press for too much information.
As much as I’ve always wanted to give his “mom” an earful, I was always wary that doing so would probably ensure that the battleaxe would think I was hitting too close to home. I thought that if I pressed my nose in too far, then she might respond by not allowing him to see me. People can most certainly respond like that, out of their own sense of guilt, however small that may be. Then sometimes if people try to get “Social Services” involved, it can end up even more disastrous for the child.
All this being said, it has been awesome to see him grow. As his appearance has improved over the years, so too has his confidence. Again, I’ve not often pressed for information so as to give the kid a break from what he so obviously knew/knows about being singled out and socially ostracized. I’m not certain as to his entire medical history, but I do know that he’s always had a fantastic ability to take so much in stride and with a grain of salt.
Cheers, bro.
That is a once in a lifetime relationship. Great story.
Thanks, Secret Agent. It’s been a cool experience
Great read, a nice deviation from the norm.
We can definitely have an impact on lives without having children, this is proof.
Who knows what Jack would have been if not for your intercession. You are an angel in his life, goodbye will be hard for you both but it has to happen one way or another.
You left him great wisdom and awesome skills, I’ll never be able to do some of the things Jack does and you have my deep respect for that.
PS, MGTOWERs comment made me laugh out loud and look like a loon.
Chase: as always, I too had a great laugh at MGTOWERs comment. The guy slays me. I really appreciate your comments, brother. It makes me feel better about the situation: A LOT. He’s really going to be ok. Now that he’s a young man, he’s got some good things on the horizon.
There’s a regional program here. It’s a program designed for young people, predominantly young men aged 18-35 who are experiencing or have experienced challenges in life which may create a barrier for them in terms of social evolution and employment. I investigated and helped with application to the program for him, and he is set to attend the program next year when he turns 18. It’s actually a well-laid out opportunity for all sorts of individuals. Those who’ve experienced trouble with the law, poor education, compromised life skills and the like. The program is seven months in length and costs nothing for those who qualify.
The program’s structuring is fairly well tailored in that it’s balanced enough for those who may have only received education at home. During that seven months, he’ll receive “Life Skills” training which includes being independent and able to cope with some of life’s basic challenges and needs. He’ll receive Mathematics upgrading skills, Communications upgrading skills and then four months of it is spent exposing a guy to the trades. They gear a person towards acquiring basic knowledge in electrical, mechanical, plumbing, welding and pipe-fitting. At conclusion of the program, one then chooses a trade and is given credit for their first year apprenticeship. Then the organization helps place the person in an indentured apprenticeship where they can begin their journeyman travels. As he has displayed a really good aptitude for such things in general, he’s gravitated toward being a Millwright, which would be excellent for him. I’ve watched him and helped him dabble in all manner of craft, from welding and riveting, to carpentry and mechanics. The REALLY cool part of the program is they pay for your cost of living. That way the kid can get an apartment and food/clothing support for the seven months and in his case, longer as he continues his trades journey.
Thank you for your comments, gentlemen. It’s made me feel better about it.
Cheers, brothers.
He’ll benefit for a lifetime from your interest, as will you.
You are making your move, a good thing. Hopefully “Jack” remembers the lessons and positives from your male influence forever.
He wasn’t your responsibility, but you did him many solids over the years.
You did good, but don’t look back. It will only slow you down.
I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.
He’ll benefit for a lifetime from your interest, as will you.
You are making your move, a good thing. Hopefully “Jack” remembers the lessons and positives from your male influence forever.
He wasn’t your responsibility, but you did him many solids over the years.
You did good, but don’t look back. It will only slow you down.
Hi Ogre. Long time no see, man. I remember quite well the day that you joined and I see that your avatar has remained the same. I’ve not had time to review all that many posts and catch up just as of yet but look forward to doing so in the near future once I’m settled in other locales. I hope that your life is going better sir, and that you’ve escaped the bonds of matrimony.
Thanks for your comments brother. And you’re of course right that one should not dwell in past circumstances to a point where one is retarding their own progress. 🙂But it is also important to take stock of one’s actions, their resultant outcomes and make future decisions based on experience. Missing someone or something can be a good thing as it can promote continuing successful personal endeavors in future.
Cheers brother and it is great to see you again, Ogre. Glad you’ve hung in there, sir.
@EMP. I’m still married but not for her benefit. One kid to still positively influence and their relationship is tenuous on good days.
I’m the beloved parent, and the sounding board. Why leave today when I might actually release a unicorn into the wild. 😉
Best case scenario is that I won’t mess my youngest daughter up too badly when I cut her Mom loose in shark infested waters. Not my problem, at some point they both have to become adults.
I’m glad you’re posting again. Your story actually brought a tear to my eye. Every kid deserves love from somebody. Too bad Jack had to cruise the streets to find a decent human being. How fortunate that he found you.
I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.
@ogre
Well sir, if I’m not mistaken, one of our very first conversations together revolved around some things simply taking time, before a man can escape certain confines. Yours is a journey which can be most difficult of all.As much as we’d often like time to spin by so that we can move forward in our quest, it is so often ironic in the case of one’s own children. That’s most certainly not time that one wishes to pass quickly, particularly in the case of a man like yourself; one who invests care, time, love and value in his children, even at the expense of himself. Time moves far too quickly when it comes to spending time and life with those whom one truly loves.
But that being said, I do look forward to the future for you, sir knight. To a time where you know you did your duty to the absolute best of your ability without abandoning the helm. And to a time when you’ll be able to sit back and with head held high, say to yourself “I did this most important endeavor not for myself, but for those who I love most”. It’s something called honour, a concept which certainly escapes women at nearly every given opportunity.
I look forward, for you, to the very day when you’ll know you’ve put forth a weary, last step on a very hard-fought and at times soul-draining journey. And when that next step will be one of freedom, self-enlightenment and the beginning of a new voyage that sails you past the boundaries and bonds that so many would have you remain indentured to.
Well done, sir.
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