Hi all,
I’m feeling good now that I found this site. When I was in grade school I learned quickly that girls had the right of way. They could tease me and get away with it, but if I teased back I’d get a lecture from the teacher. Eventually I quit I learned not to tease girls and be nice to them and I thought I was doing a good job of it. I was the definition of a gentlemen and decided I was going to ask out a girl in class that I liked. I asked if she wanted to go see a movie and she pointed at me and said “With YOU???!!!” she hyped up her laughter and left the room. I remember it like yesterday. Thinking maybe not all girls are like that when the next year started I asked out another girl. She was nice enough to let me down and say no. But told her friend outside the class room who came in and said, “Hey she changed her mind and will go out with you” I was ecstatic for about 3 seconds before the girl I asked out came back in and said “NO” . Both girls left laughing.
Fast forward to High School Freshman year I get a girlfriend for 3 months but knew to be a gentleman and loyal. She traded up in a short time. I wish I had books like “the Game”, “Rationale Male” and “The best of Roosh”.
I met a girl in an online video game one night and when she told me she fell in love with me I devoted my existence to online gaming and her. A car accident took me out of the work force for two years and I moved in with my parents and became unemployed, online gaming and her became an 18 hour a day routine for me. I was devoted to the online girl for 8 years and doing the gentleman thing of patiently waiting till she was ready to actually meet. One night I got drunk and convinced her to tell me why we don’t make plans to meet already. Turns out she was 20 years older than what she told me, also her “roommates” were really her 4 children. I suckered up and said none of that matters and we met and had a wonderful time, but sadly my chump ways and feelings led her to completely ignore me afterwards.
Friend of mine has me read “the Game” and we go out as wing mates. He has me approach a table and I ask a question to a nice blonde woman who is receptive and smiling. She has a friend though, and her friend keeps interrupting me as I talk with “Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh”. Well the guys they were out with come up to the table and I say never mind and we leave. My buddy told me it was the bravest thing he’s seen and we go to another bar where he was inspired to do the next approaches.
Which leads me to today. I still live with my folks at 36. I found I lack the motivation required to run the Game. I have no plans of ever asking any woman out again. I use the male advice I learned from books to flirt and appear attractive to the women at work (of whom I’ll never ask out) which mitigate my years of depression and pain.
I am glad to have written all this down. I’ve told friends these things, but they are in a hurry to change the topic. Writing all this and seeing this site and not feeling alone anymore is like pushing a release valve in my chest letting out a lot of bad vibes. I’m also seeing that my story isn’t as bad as many of yours. Hearing your stories and seeing how things could have been worse is a minuscule comfort to me in the stoic sense. But as I read your stories I find out that I’m more angry than comforted in knowing how deep the rabbit hole goes. I may not understand the depth of grief and loss many of you have experienced, but I will listen and support you. From ashes a Phoenix emerges.
May the Force Be With You
Oasid 4 years, 10 months ago.
