Glad I'm not the only one. Hello!

[LeobardisParticipant 23]

I found this place by way of an article while browsing the internet. Going my own way has been my life for the past 5 years, but it wasn’t until today that I realized it’s more common than I thought. I appreciate what you all have done here, and I am glad to be a part of it.

I grew up watching my dad bust his ass 12-16 hours a day, 6-7 days a week at a job he hated only to come home and take endless emotional abuse from my alcoholic mother. I love them both, but I often wondered why he ever put up with it and secretly hoped he would leave her, for his sake. I asked him once when I was in my 20’s, why he didn’t. He said because he loved her, and he had a responsibility.

I took that to heart, and still appreciate everything he did for us and admire his integrity. But the thought of repeating his life terrified me. I intended to never marry or have children. But of course I met a woman who I believed was “different.” Of course. She was independent and respected my boundaries and ambitions. She seemed to love me for who I was, even my flaws. She also didn’t want children which seemed a huge plus. We both felt there were already too many people in the world, why make more? Long story short we got married, promising to always support each other’s independent nature. I gave her everything she wanted, just like my dad did for my mom. But it was never enough. I was never quite the person she wanted, no matter how hard I worked or how ambitious I was. My flaws became less endearing, they became an open rebellion to her image of who I should be. I put her through college by joining the military (for the second time, long story, irrelevant). When she wanted to go to a masters degree program 1000 miles away from my duty station, I supported her. When she told me she wanted an open marriage, I supported her. Sounded like a great idea to me! I wouldn’t mind getting a little on the side myself, why not? We’re a modern, independent couple. What did all my support get me? She began to see me as weak. She called me weak, and expressed she had lost respect for me. When she told me she was leaving me for another man, it didn’t come as much of a surprise.

Here is where she left me: We never had any kids, we hadn’t bought a house, all we had of any value was a brand new compact car which I gladly gave to her, keeping my truck and my two Labradors. Buddy, I cut and ran. And it was like getting away with a jewelry heist. I had a great time in the military. I saw the world, without any worry of what was happening back home while deployed (other than my Labs who were with family). Guam, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand… all without answering to anyone. I got out a few years later, and hedged my experience into a great career. With plenty of energy to focus on it, and plenty of free time to enjoy life to the fullest. When I want to go somewhere, I hop on a plane or get in my truck and go there. If I want something, I buy it. I hear my buddies and coworkers talking about their wives and their families with thinly veiled resentment and just kind of smile to myself. I feel for them, but damn… I sure dodged one hell of a bullet.

It’s been 5 years of freedom, and I have no desire to ever go back.

[bladeParticipant]

Enjoy your freedom and welcome to mgtow brother

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Anonymous 0]

Great story! A clean getaway. Welcome!

[Anonymous 5]

A warm welcome, and thanks for the great read

Leobardis wrote:

But of course I met a woman who I believed was “different.”

Yep, not like all the rest,,,we call that the NAWALT routine (Not All Women Are Like That). It’s their fundamental strategy.
All married men have fallen for the NAWALT routine.

Thanks for sharing and it’s good to have you contributing.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

After reading most of the stories on this site, I can say you got off easy. Nicely done. Welcome, Leobardis. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[Anonymous 1]

[Anonymous 43]

lol welcome brother.

Yeah you dodged a 203mm bullet

[JVBParticipant]

Nice. Good for you sir!! Stay free and welcome. You are amongst friends ??

Peace is > piece.

[Joey AlfioParticipant]

Welcome to mgtow and to be quite frank, you’ll get more loyalty, love and affection from your dog than any modern day tuna.

Δεν υπάρχει τίποτε αδύνατο γι’ αυτόν που θα προσπαθήσει. - Μέγας Αλέξανδρος

[Anonymous 0]

Welcome home,LeoBardis
Look forward to your posts

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

Welcome. Proof that Unicorn = fantasy. Your loyal labs loved you more – no surprise.

[FermatParticipant 3478]

Welcome. She was putting on a 5 year act just to please u. Happy u weren’t burned in ur escape.

I have discovered a truly remarkable list of reasons why women are not necessary for a happy life, but alas this margin is too small to contain it.

[RorschachParticipant 2083]

Awesome Intro! Welcome brother.

Leobardis wrote:

But of course I met a woman who I believed was “different.”

Yeah thats the mistake most of us have made. It may start differently, but it always ends the same.

The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!"....... and i'll look down and whisper "No."

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Welcome @leobardis and thanks for introducing yourself. Terrific. Your opener is a common realization too.

Leobardis wrote:

My flaws became less endearing

When a woman marries a man, she expects that he WILL change – and he doesn’t.
When a man marries, he expects she WON’T change – and she DOES.

Maybe that’s why weddings take place in a church(?)

“AISLE…. ALTAR….. HYMN”.

= “I’ll alter him”.

And when she successfully does, she loses all respect for him, calls him weak and leaves. She deliberately cultivates the man she doesn’t want. You have to lol.

Leobardis wrote:

She began to see me as weak. She called me weak, and expressed she had lost respect for me.

Funny how that works. But would a woman tolerate the REVERSE. Would it be acceptable to tell her “you know, I lost all respect for you. You’re weak. It’s over”.

They want a man who is “better”, wealthier, smarter, more established, secure, stronger, taller etc……. but when she actually MEETS a man like that, wouldn’t he think she’s poorer, dumber, insecure, shorter, and weaker?

Leobardis wrote:

When she told me she was leaving me for another man, it didn’t come as much of a surprise.

I was only really “surprised” once. After that, I sort of expected it – or was at least prepared that it was “temporary”. Best way to deal with it was to let the other guy keep her.

Welcome to MGTOW and the Forums.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[LeobardisParticipant 23]

Thanks everyone! I am overwhelmed with the level of camaraderie here.

Truthseeker82 wrote:

Welcome. Proof that Unicorn = fantasy. Your loyal labs loved you more – no surprise.

My dogs are wonderful companions, their loyalty is unmatched. I much prefer coming home to their enthusiasm over her criticism. One of them was actually hers, but she suddenly didn’t want him anymore either. Despite having told me once that she wanted to get his paw print and name tattooed on her arm someday. How’s that for fickle? I drove 2000 miles round-trip to get him before she could give him away to a stranger, as she had planned. I still have him. He’s getting up there in age, but just as loyal and happy as ever.

Keymaster wrote:

And when she successfully does, she loses all respect for him, calls him weak and leaves. She deliberately cultivates the man she doesn’t want. You have to lol.

This is the paradox. And why I think society is just as much to blame as she is, if not more so. She made it clear from day one that she wanted to be independent. Pursue her own career, be a strong woman. I loved that about her, I bought it too! Totally drank the feminism kool aid. It’s what I also wanted for myself after all, success and a greater purpose in life. Why should I deny it to her? She loved me because I was confident and stuck by her. I even fell for the “White Knight” routine. I would stand up for her even when she was at fault. Once at a bar she was flirting with some big, drunk redneck and slapped him playfully. When he slapped her hard across the face, I called him out even though I knew I’d get my ass kicked. Got my head put through a wall but managed to lay him out with a lucky right hook. Another time I accidentally got her pregnant. I asked her to keep the baby, she refused and got an abortion. Her choice, I let it go even though it broke my heart. When we married I was a broke, living in a run-down apartment, working a low-end job and had a suspended license for being a stupid kid. I worked hard for her though. By the time she left me 5 years later, we both had engineering degrees and I was a commissioned Naval Officer. That is why I was so surprised that she had the audacity to claim I was weak. She cited 4 things:

1) I didn’t stop her from getting an abortion.
2) I didn’t stop her from going to college 1000 miles away.
3) I didn’t stop her from making our marriage an open one.
4) I never hit her even when she was being a massive bitch. (…seriously.)

That’s the other end of the paradox. She wants to be a strong, modern, independent woman. But at the same time she doesn’t. Her instinct, like all other women, is to have a man set her boundaries for her. I didn’t do that. Not because I was weak as she insisted, but because I loved her and truly believed it was what she wanted. I believed adult human beings were capable of setting their own boundaries and that if she truly wanted to do something, she’d do it with or without my permission. I ultimately had to come to the realization that her and all women have no freaking clue what they want. They are lost. Caught between feminism and their natural instinct.

I for one know exactly what my natural instinct is, and it ain’t that s~~~. If marriage is about setting boundaries for each other, they can keep it. I set my own boundaries.

Keymaster wrote:

They want a man who is “better”, wealthier, smarter, more established, secure, stronger, taller etc……. but when she actually MEETS a man like that, wouldn’t he think she’s poorer, dumber, insecure, shorter, and weaker?

A couple years later called me once, crying. Said after dating several men, she realizes she will never again find someone like me. Yep. Probably not. Enjoy though!

[PenumbraParticipant 41]

Welcome to the forums! Take a seat around the fire.

Leobardis wrote:

I grew up watching my dad bust his ass 12-16 hours a day, 6-7 days a week at a job he hated only to come home and take endless emotional abuse from my alcoholic mother. I love them both, but I often wondered why he ever put up with it and secretly hoped he would leave her, for his sake. I asked him once when I was in my 20’s, why he didn’t. He said because he loved her, and he had a responsibility.

I have started to wonder who my father was before he met my mother. He is such an honest and hard working man, yet I feel he could have been so much more if he only followed his own dreams instead of giving into my mother’s ever increasing demands. I don’t want my family to break of course and I don’t think he could ever understand my position.
Things like these must be strange for a father to hear from his son!
Can we save our fathers?

I hope you stay around, Leobardis.
This place teaches you

Every man dies. Not every man lives.

[LynxParticipant 302]

Leobardis wrote:

When she told me she wanted an open marriage, I supported her. Sounded like a great idea to me! I wouldn’t mind getting a little on the side myself, why not? We’re a modern, independent couple. What did all my support get me? She began to see me as weak. She called me weak, and expressed she had lost respect for me. When she told me she was leaving me for another man, it didn’t come as much of a surprise.

It probably goes without saying that it was a MASSIVE s~~~ test. That is what made her lose respect for you. Very least you could’ve done was warn her that you would get the better deal out of open marriage. But I guess that was quite obvious.

[Author]

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