Giving up custody in exchange for no child support

[VanXingParticipant 98]

I live in Illinois and we’re about to change from the set 20% child support for one child to an Income Share System where parenting time and both spouse’s income come into play. She and I make about the same and she has our daughter most of the time.

I just got a message from my wife proposing that I give her a one time lump sum payment along with custody of our daughter in exchange for no child support for the next 15 years.

Have any of you heard or know someone who’s done such an proposal before? Any ideas on the pros and cons of this type of arrangement?

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

VanXing wrote:

I just got a message from my wife proposing that I give her a one time lump sum payment along with custody of our daughter in exchange for no child support for the next 15 years.

The best thing about lump sum is she can’t come back and change her mind as easily. Negotiate for joint custody.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

Compute how much you will be paying for that 15 years plus the headache of dealing with the c~~~ compared to her offer…Lower it and ask a lawyer if that transaction would be binding. Because SHE WILL renege on that contract and take you to court again once the money runs out…She has already shown you that she cant uphold a contract by breaking you marriage contract and now she wants to enter another contract with you which she will also break…REDPILL Power brother….Trust is gone…

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[HitmanParticipant]

Depends on how close you are to the child.
Put the child’s needs first.
A dad is priceless.
.
If you’ve had little contact with the kid then bail.
Otherwise if a bond has been formed be with the kid as much as possible!

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

Get it in writing. I know a man who made a lump sum child support payment but his ex c~~~ came after him years later for back child support and he had to pay again!

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[VanXingParticipant 98]

FrostByte wrote:

The best thing about lump sum is she can’t come back and change her mind as easily. Negotiate for joint custody.

Good idea but I’m sure she’s only giving up child support in order to get full custody.

Hitman wrote:

Depends on how close you are to the child.
Put the child’s needs first.
A dad is priceless.
.
If you’ve had little contact with the kid then bail.
Otherwise if a bond has been formed be with the kid as much as possible!

I see her every weekend we have a bond for sure.

Back in Black wrote:

Get it in writing. I know a man who made a lump sum child support payment but his ex c~~~ came after him years later for back child support and he had to pay again!

I can’t imagine this guy giving up so much money without the agreement on paper.

[Duke TogoParticipant 2664]

VanXing wrote:

I live in Illinois and we’re about to change from the set 20% child support for one child to an Income Share System where parenting time and both spouse’s income come into play. She and I make about the same and she has our daughter most of the time.

I just got a message from my wife proposing that I give her a one time lump sum payment along with custody of our daughter in exchange for no child support for the next 15 years.

Have any of you heard or know someone who’s done such an proposal before? Any ideas on the pros and cons of this type of arrangement?

Do not be a chump and take her word for it. Go speak to a lawyer ASAP.

[bladeParticipant]

Put your kid before money . I would leave s~~~ how it is . Woman are comming back years after divorce and getting more money out of men after court cases were finalised . F~~~ money anyway . Put your contact with your kid first .

Sounds like she is getting ready for a power move . Has she met someone recently . Wants to move closer to her family . She has a motive but is not letting you know

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[IRuleMeParticipant]

VanXing wrote:

FrostByte wrote:

The best thing about lump sum is she can’t come back and change her mind as easily. Negotiate for joint custody.

Good idea but I’m sure she’s only giving up child support in order to get full custody.

hitman wrote:

Depends on how close you are to the child.
Put the child’s needs first.
A dad is priceless.
.
If you’ve had little contact with the kid then bail.
Otherwise if a bond has been formed be with the kid as much as possible!

I see her every weekend we have a bond for sure.

Back in Black wrote:

Get it in writing. I know a man who made a lump sum child support payment but his ex c~~~ came after him years later for back child support and he had to pay again!

I can’t imagine this guy giving up so much money without the agreement on paper.

Right. She’s attempting to bribe you with a deal because she wants to get you out of the child’s life. Where you can’t influence him, and can’t show him the nasty s~~~ his momma is doing. So by offering a lump sum with no custody rights, she’s biting the bullet for the “greater good” which is to get complete rights of the child where she can latch her claws in; while filling the kid’s head with propaganda that you don’t live him and don’t want him. If she does that, she’ll be able to play the “AMALT” card, and brainwash him into a feminist sympathizer white knight just like the rest of the single moms do.

[IRuleMeParticipant]

Don’t know why my comment ended up in the quote…

Basically..

She’s attempting to bribe you with a deal because she wants to get you out of the child’s life. Where you can’t influence him, and can’t show him the nasty s~~~ his momma is doing. So by offering a lump sum with no custody rights, she’s biting the bullet for the “greater good” which is to get complete rights of the child where she can latch her claws in; while filling the kid’s head with propaganda that you don’t love him and don’t want him. If she does that, she’ll be able to play the “AMALT” card, and brainwash him into a feminist sympathizer white knight just like the rest of the single moms do.

[AttonParticipant]

Sounds like a trick to be honest.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[ApexScorpionParticipant 602]

You can do what you wish.

My question to you is why do you still trust your “wife” with something as delicate as your finances and time with your child, when she is most likely using your child as a chess piece to further solidify her spot as your puppeteer?

If you think this “negotiation” is legit, how is it beneficial to you?

[GnosticParticipant 2491]

VanXing wrote:

I live in Illinois and we’re about to change from the set 20% child support for one child to an Income Share System where parenting time and both spouse’s income come into play. She and I make about the same and she has our daughter most of the time.

I just got a message from my wife proposing that I give her a one time lump sum payment along with custody of our daughter in exchange for no child support for the next 15 years.

Have any of you heard or know someone who’s done such an proposal before? Any ideas on the pros and cons of this type of arrangement?

Can you trust your government? There are a number of men who sign the marriage contract before the no fault divorce came to being, and the old contract is thrown away.

Will the legal lump sum contract be thrown away in the future because the judge decide that is in the best interest of the child system that you continue paying more?

There are stories that the court bend the laws to favor women, do you think it will happen to you in the future?

There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.

[shaunozParticipant 512]

Do NOT do it .
It will go like this – she banks lumpsum – she spends lumpsum – time passes – government contacts you to resume support payments. The logic the government uses is: the law is the law, you cannot make a private agreement such that you opt out of the law.

[JVBParticipant]

Get it in writing !!!

Peace is > piece.

[VanXingParticipant 98]

IRuleMe wrote:

Don’t know why my comment ended up in the quote…

Basically..

She’s attempting to bribe you with a deal because she wants to get you out of the child’s life. Where you can’t influence him, and can’t show him the nasty s~~~ his momma is doing. So by offering a lump sum with no custody rights, she’s biting the bullet for the “greater good” which is to get complete rights of the child where she can latch her claws in; while filling the kid’s head with propaganda that you don’t love him and don’t want him. If she does that, she’ll be able to play the “AMALT” card, and brainwash him into a feminist sympathizer white knight just like the rest of the single moms do.

I agree I have the consider worst case scenario which is she will not allow me to see my child via erroneous excuses.

shaunoz wrote:

Do NOT do it .
It will go like this – she banks lumpsum – she spends lumpsum – time passes – government contacts you to resume support payments. The logic the government uses is: the law is the law, you cannot make a private agreement such that you opt out of the law.

That’s what my attorney said that she doesn’t have the right to say no child support needed.

ApexScorpion wrote:

You can do what you wish.

My question to you is why do you still trust your “wife” with something as delicate as your finances and time with your child, when she is most likely using your child as a chess piece to further solidify her spot as your puppeteer?

If you think this “negotiation” is legit, how is it beneficial to you?

I don’t trust her. I have to consider worst case scenario. Which is she takes my child away and later comes back for more money. Unless those risks are addressed I will not move forward.

[narwhalParticipant]

I hate the term ‘full custody’ as it doesn’t have an exact definition. I have my kids every other weekend and 1 night a week. But I have full power to make medical and other decisions fro them as well. I can attend any public event they are at (school stuff). Perhaps that means she has full custody, I don’t know, but I have enough custody.

I personally think that’s a little better for my kids. Having to live in different homes during the week would be stressful.

As far as the lump sum, do what your lawyer recommends. Even if he says it’s ok though, I would want to setup some sort of trust where she cannot use the money all at once.

So I guess she sees the one time lump as a good deal for you? I really don’t think it is. Even if she never goes back for more money, you will still be told that the money doesn’t cover braces, or whatever your kid needs. If you’re in the kids life, she will ask you for money and feel she has the right to tell you where to spend your money when it comes to the kids. The only thing to stop that is to develop a habit of saying no.

Ok. Then do it.

[GregB0Participant]

Atton wrote:

Sounds like a trick to be honest.

I have to chime in and agree with the majority of commentators so far:
1) Consult a lawyer before doing or saying anything further.
2) Keep your legal right to spend time with your daughter at all costs. (Birthdays, special events, holidays)
3) Ensure that any changes to the current child custody is binding and documented.
4) Remember to factor in future debt when you do your financial analysis. As stated, your ex-wife will pull the She needs money “for” guilt trip (band camp, college, any special tutoring that may come up, etc)
5) The trust/limited access is a must and could be run through your lawyer. Any unspent funds at the age of XXX fall to the child at the future age of XXX.
6) Joint Medical Power of Attorney until XX age, regardless of who is footing the bill.

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

[BeerParticipant 11832]

Did you really not want the kid to begin with or something? If I was going to be paying for the kid, lump sum or otherwise, I wouldn’t be giving up custody rights, especially knowing the c~~~ obviously wants you out of the kids life. Since you know that at least you have more of a bargaining chip than most guys.

[VanXingParticipant 98]

Thanks for the feedback fellas that really helps. There are too many risks with her proposal. If she is given any power she will abuse it and I cannot allow her to take my daughter away from me.

With the new rules even if I just have my daughter every other weekend I will be paying less than the current 20%. I think she sees that now thus is in a rush to get a deal done.

Giving her that power means she can continue to control what I do in my life. For example, if she sees a picture of me that makes her jealous she will come up with a excuse to not allow me to see my daughter as payback.

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