Girls trip

[BeeParticipant 700]

My wife’s gone on a girl’s vacation. She does this about once a year. I am struggling with my feelings about this….

It is so much more peaceful without her around. My daughter and I have no conflict or strife. There is no yelling. No moodiness. No worry about her needing to be entertained, telling me what to do or not do. But mostly its just peaceful.

I think back to the way things used to be…. it’s always been a hedonistic treadmill with her constantly needing excitement.
Of the 13 years, I’d say 4 have been pretty enjoyable, 8 just ok staying even, and 4 miserable and 1 where I questioned the point of life itself. (Not contiguous segments of time).I find it impacts my freedom in big ways and small like even being able to roll down the window in the car. I hate this. I don’t miss her. I don’t want to be around her. I don’t want to be with her anymore. I don’t want to be with anyone. The daughter and I get along like peas and carrots. I’d rather not live with anyone else. No roommates male or female. All I want is a quiet peaceful life. Wife and children are counter to that.

[chirParticipant]

If you can track her phone, see where she is really going. Once they start “girls vacation” its code for “Chad Thunderc~~~ is going to stretch me out and bang me until my uterus gets bruised.”

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[RoyDalParticipant]

I like the fact that you are bonding with your daughter, and that she can observe the contrast between her life when mom is present and gone.

You are wise to raise her to see life as it is.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[NeroParticipant 1466]

Bee wrote:

My wife’s gone on a girl’s vacation. She does this about once a year. I am struggling with my feelings about this….

It is so much more peaceful without her around. My daughter and I have no conflict or strife. There is no yelling. No moodiness. No worry about her needing to be entertained, telling me what to do or not do. But mostly its just peaceful.

I think back to the way things used to be…. it’s always been a hedonistic treadmill with her constantly needing excitement.
Of the 13 years, I’d say 4 have been pretty enjoyable, 8 just ok staying even, and 4 miserable and 1 where I questioned the point of life itself. (Not contiguous segments of time).I find it impacts my freedom in big ways and small like even being able to roll down the window in the car. I hate this. I don’t miss her. I don’t want to be around her. I don’t want to be with her anymore. I don’t want to be with anyone. The daughter and I get along like peas and carrots. I’d rather not live with anyone else. No roommates male or female. All I want is a quiet peaceful life. Wife and children are counter to that.

LOL. At first, I thought you were implying your uncomfortable with your wife going on a girls vacation (rightfully so).

I am also married (19 years). I can relate to everything you just said. Some years ago, though, I took back control of my free time and did as I pleased. The problem with that is it created a void of a marriage and two people sharing house space and both feeling lonely. I felt isolated, alone, and miserable in the shell of the marriage I was in. So, one day, I sat my wife down and dropped an ultimatum. Our marriage needed to change or we go our own way.

What I found out now, after seven months of therapy, reading three relationship books, and a complete focus on the marriage, we have two different relationship styles. I’m avoidant. My wife is anxious. It causes a lot of s~~~ tests, shaming, and control tactics that lead to a lot of grief. I got to a point recently where I asked for divorce. My wife begged for one last chance to prove herself before the divorce is final (6 months, I haven’t filed yet).

I truly believe I am my wife’s Chad #1. She is still in love with me tremendously, which is what any guy could possibly hope for. Right? Well, if you can’t communicate properly, can’t be open and honest without fear of retaliation and contempt, if you feel you have to manufacture happiness for a grown up woman, it just seems too daunting a task. I totally understand where you are coming from, Bee.

[BeeParticipant 700]

chir wrote:

If you can track her phone, see where she is really going. Once they start “girls vacation” its code for “Chad Thunderc~~~ is going to stretch me out and bang me until my uterus gets bruised.”

As long as there are no stds or babies I do not really care. How sad is that?

[bobphiloParticipant 1772]

Bee wrote:

chir wrote:

If you can track her phone, see where she is really going. Once they start “girls vacation” its code for “Chad Thunderc~~~ is going to stretch me out and bang me until my uterus gets bruised.”

As long as there are no stds or babies I do not really care. How sad is that?

If that is true then the relationship is dead as a doornail. These “girls vacations” and girls nights out” are nothing more than a chance to act single again and that apparently suits you both fine.
Why keep the farce going. To subject your daughter to the train wreck of your marriage is unfair to her. It’s better to come from a broken home than to live in a broken home. Do the right thing for you and your kid and end it.

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22521]

chir wrote:

If you can track her phone, see where she is really going.

That is illegal. But, backtracking her credit card transactions is questionable. Also, if she has a passport, take a look on the dates and places that are stamped on it.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

I was very idealistic going in the marriage (being from a good family), and I couldn’t understand how there were some married couples who either knew that each other were cheating or didn’t want to know – I could never understand how can you still keep the relationship going. As soon as I get the feeling I’m sleeping with the enemy – it’s the beginning of the end.

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[bobphiloParticipant 1772]

Faust For Science wrote:

chir wrote:

If you can track her phone, see where she is really going.

That is illegal. But, backtracking her credit card transactions is questionable. Also, if she has a passport, take a look on the dates and places that are stamped on it.

He already said he doesn’t care if Chad is doing her. That’s why it’s over. However, if he can get the goods on her it would help in the divorce settlement.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

bobphilo wrote:

Faust For Science wrote:

chir wrote:

If you can track her phone, see where she is really going.

That is illegal. But, backtracking her credit card transactions is questionable. Also, if she has a passport, take a look on the dates and places that are stamped on it.

He already said he doesn’t care if Chad is doing her. That’s why it’s over. However, if he can get the goods on her it would help in the divorce settlement.

It won’t help in the settlement in most states. No fault divorce, the court doesn’t care why. It may help her to realize that they need a divorce because that’s a deal breaker for him to stay married, but there is no cash benefit.

The peace of mind, however, is worth every penny.

Order the good wine

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

the best you can do to soften the landing is start hiding assets, get a gambling addiction, quit your job and start working at McDonalds – that’s what will really help you. No one cares if she’s cheating or not

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[chirParticipant]

Faust For Science wrote:

chir wrote:

If you can track her phone, see where she is really going.

That is illegal. But, backtracking her credit card transactions is questionable. Also, if she has a passport, take a look on the dates and places that are stamped on it.

Legal Shmegle… Its not about gathering divorce evidence, its about gathering recon information that you should begin preparing for separation or divorce. Having a head start knowing means you can continue “business as usual” but be preparing for a divorce. Making a stash of money, researching lawyers, documenting everything and recording any conversations she has with you or keeping her messages to you.

Knowledge is EVERYTHING.

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

^^^ What he said. Don’t let her catch you off guard – in that case you’ll be royally f~~~ed

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

Take your daughter on a three week camping trip through Yellowstone the day before your wife gets back.

Some day your daughter will grow up to be a woman too, but for now you can at least enjoy her and try to mitigate the damage she’ll do down the road.

[Author]

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