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Daryll55 2 years, 5 months ago.
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For those of you that do FWB, or pump and dump, are there restrictions on personality that must be met for you?
I’m not currently in a situation where that matters, but have been before. Woman A was attractive and good in the sack, but I really only enjoyed her company when drinking. Woman B was also attractive, but couldn’t deal with her personality at all. Have no idea if she was good or not. None of this women showed abnormally dangerous personalities, just boring and or annoying. So where does your boundary line. Are you indifferent as long as it results in sex?
Second question, how long will you let the relationship go before you end it? I personally am concerned that I’ll get an emotional attachment that will mess things up, so would be looking to end it when I started carrying for someone who was going to ruin my life. I’d also look for signs that she wanted more than previously agreed upon.
Ok. Then do it.
Second question, how long will you let the relationship go before you end it?
Easy, If you or her think the relationship is turning into more than FWB , Give that armour a s~~~-test. If she or you fail,… it’s time to end it.
I used to spend 1-2 hrs 2x/month with a brunette mommy; it was rip off clothes, sex, get dressed(sometimes with a little idle chat), but we left just the same. The only reason I kept up the idle chat was the possibility of another round.
Marry again, Hell NO ! ( Even JESUS was hung on a cross just once)
For those of you that do FWB, or pump and dump, are there restrictions on personality that must be met for you?
I have never been a “pump and dump” type at all. I always needed to like the girl on some level. Although I did have a few one-nighters I never saw again, there had to be some “chemistry” – and even friction.
Friction can be fun. Heat is generated that way too.
Personality? Just not a bitch.
You gotta be having FUN.Second question, how long will you let the relationship go before you end it?
EVERYTHING is temporary. Especially when it comes to women. They are temporary pleasures at best. I really believe that, because she can decide to “end” it based on nothing that I did. She could (and probably will) wake up tomorrow, flip on a dime, flake, never call again, and there is no rhyme or reason to it.
So I accept that she’s a temporary pleasure at best – and everything is temporary. And when it “ends”, I don’t stew or wonder why, what went wrong, was it something I said? etc.
You can’t know how long something will last looking forward.
You can only know it looking back.This is why I never understood giving a woman a “diamond” before you ask her to marry. A diamond is for the 60 year “diamond” anniversary and not a day sooner.
personally am concerned that I’ll get an emotional attachment that will mess things up
That’s usually a womanly concern. But don’t confuse the haze of orgasm with an “emotional attachment”.
One FWB went on for more than a year (c.1996?). She was a “fling” a couple times before that, but then it grew to a regular thing. But still NOT a “girlfriend”. Strictly FWB. And she wasn’t even a “friend” really.
She ended it over a meal “maybe we should not do this anymore”.
It was nothing that I did, and was totally random – just like you’d expect.Her reason? “Well, I’m not in love with you.”
Except, she didn’t NEED to be. There doesn’t need to be an “emotional attachment” for sex to take place. The criteria for sex and mating is based on one thing only – attraction.
The criteria for a “relationship” and “emotional attachment” is based on a mile long list of things that are worked on and develop over TIME – by both people.
Understand the difference.
“I don’t like being friends-with-benefits.”
“Okay. Just benefits, then”.
—
These days, the risks outweigh the “benefits” by a huge margin.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.I have never been a “pump and dump” type at all. I always needed to like the girl on some level. Although I did have a few one-nighters I never saw again, there had to be some “chemistry” – and even friction.
Friction can be fun. Heat is generated that way too.
Personality? Just not a bitch.
You gotta be having FUN.I agree, pretty much what I was thinking.
That’s usually a womanly concern. But don’t confuse the haze of orgasm with an “emotional attachment”.
Not really what I meant. The sex doesn’t bring emotional attachment, it’s when you get used to her being around…where it becomes normal. At that point, you feel a void if she’s not there, or like you will have to change things. You’ll miss things if she’s not there. I don’t want to be at that point, because it makes it difficult to set good boundaries, opens you up to manipulation and stupid decisions.
As I’m saying this, the obvious answer is to contact somewhat minimum and avoid normalcy as much as possible.
She ended it over a meal “maybe we should not do this anymore”.
It was nothing that I did, and was totally random – just like you’d expect.
Her reason? “Well, I’m not in love with you.”I wasn’t there, but to me it sounds as if she was understanding that she cannot entertain a deeper relationship, love, whatever, while she is entertaining a relatively superficial one. I think that’s reasonable, somewhat, but women rarely know how to say it bluntly.
I say somewhat reasonable, as I personally wouldn’t have too much issue with having a FWB who was pursuing more from someone else. At the same time, I don’t see how she can have sex with me, while holding out on the guy she’s interesting in having more, whatever that is, with.
Ok. Then do it.
Friction can be fun. Heat is generated that way too.
LOL. Sounds painful, use some lube.
I always needed to like the girl on some level.
Agreed. That is why hookers will never be an option for me.
Agreed. That is why hookers will never be an option for me.
I’m the same.
LOL. Sounds painful, use some lube.
You know what I meant. But in case anyone else doesn’t . . . I’m referring to the kind of dynamic where you get on each other’s nerves, but it’s still “fun”. I drive women crazy because they don’t get away with anything, and they used to drive me crazy with their stupid s~~~ testing etc.
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
That combative s~~~ is just not a turn-on anymore.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.. . I’m referring to the kind of dynamic where you get on each other’s nerves, but it’s still “fun”.
Some of my favorite girlfriends have been just like that. It’s about having FUN.
You know what I meant.
Glad you get my sense of humor!
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
That combative s~~~ is just not a turn-on anymore.I completely agree.
Market~~~cher wrote:
Agreed. That is why hookers will never be an option for me.
I’m the sameYup, no connection no fun.
I’m more with Keymaster in that I have always required attraction in some way, resulting in my own personal preferences for personality in the female. F~~~ing just a lump of flesh with no mind doesn’t do it for me. Usually it starts out as friends, and the benefits come later (no pun intended).
As far as when to end it, by nature these tend to be rather light connections. So stopping it at any time has always been part of the understanding. As such, I’d be theoretically open to stopping the benefits and remaining on good terms, or stopping the friendship but continuing the benefits.
There was one where she wanted to make our status “official” and I simply said no. She adjusted and now prefers FwB, even when faced with other options.
"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.
Like Keymaster said, building tension (“heat”) is a sport in itself. I find it the most pleasurable part of sex, which is great since I can do this without physical intercourse. No std’s, no pregnancies, and no divorces. Flirting–building tension–can even take the place of sex. It does bring out obsession in the crazy ones, though.
"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.
F~~~ing just a lump of flesh with no mind doesn’t do it for me
It’s hardly unique. This breaks through and shatters that feminist myth women sell to each other that “men will f~~~ anything”. I have always known it to be garbage.
But women don’t, and when you have some basic standards like “I need to at least LIKE you”, your basic bitch doesn’t comprehend it because she grew up on a diet of “men will f~~~ anything”…. and when you don’t want her sexually, it doesn’t compute.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.No need to make it complicated. Keep it simple.
I don’t need to like them at all. We don’t need to get along or agree on anything other than enjoying sex. Even if they’re an annoying stupid bitch, (which ones aren’t?), as long as we can get along long enough to have sex and we both want to have sex with each other, that’s enough.
If you do get along with them, there’s always the chance of emotional attachment. When do you end it? When the sex isn’t worth putting up with her stupid s~~~ anymore.
The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.
Same here… hookers ain’t an option.
I tried 5 times with hookers, total waste of money.I had more fun with a SMV 2 girl than with a 10 hooker.
It’s just not my thing.
Then I decided to monk it out, since even normal girls ended up being a nigthmare, now days can’t stand been around them more than 1 hour.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
Do people who do the PND or FWB concern themselves about STDs/STIs?
Do people who do the PND or FWB concern themselves about STDs/STIs?
Well I got a vasectomy and all women I been with (not the hookers) had an virus check (hiv,VHb and vhc)and ginecological exam.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
I have never been a “pump and dump” type at all. I always needed to like the girl on some level. Although I did have a few one-nighters I never saw again, there had to be some “chemistry” – and even friction.
F~~~ing just a lump of flesh with no mind doesn’t do it for me.
I suffer from this as well – not long ago I had the opportunity for a real fun f~~~ with a chick from high school I had entertained in fantasy about years back. She put on a few pounds but that was fine – we stripped down and went at it. (Still good shape, great look)
In the beginning, fun as hell! Living out a fantasy was phenomenal – but once the thrill was gone and I realized I had no emotional connection to this person (save for the shared admission of a fantasy f~~~) it just became mindless thrusting and a subsequent climax.
She quickly cut me off not long after I left again and I saw it for the better – like two ships passing in the night, as it were. Even now I still consider a round two, but sadly realize the lack of an emotional connection just makes it an empty nothing.
Logic guides your actions, emotion guides your morals. Only you may decide how you use them.
I try to pick someone who is sexy in their own way, but not someone hot enough for me to fall for if i want FWB. I tell them straight up that its sex only and if they develop feelings its their own fault. As soon as they start talking about feelings i walk..
F~~~ing just a lump of flesh with no mind doesn’t do it for me. Usually it starts out as friends, and the benefits come later (no pun intended).
There is lot of ground though between just a warm body and being best friends. There was one woman in particular I met a couple years ago that I had a very strong physical attraction to. Was a lot of fun on a typical date. However, one date, she wanted me to hang out for wine and cheese and listen to jazz first before went out. Not my thing at all. Another date, we were going to watch football together. I just wanted her to go away. There were aspects of her personality (and physicality) that I loved, yet other aspects of her personality that I couldn’t stand.
And perhaps that part of the reason relationships are such crap these days. The expectation that the other person is perfect for you, meets all your needs in all situations, and someone you want around you in all situations…is utterly ridiculous.
…and I’m rambling. I’m not sure what my point is.
Ok. Then do it.
F~~~ing just a lump of flesh with no mind doesn’t do it for me. Usually it starts out as friends, and the benefits come later (no pun intended).
I figured I would have to explain myself a little better here, so It’s Sunday,…. I have time, here goes:
Brunette mommy I met in a bar on a weeknight. She was uncomfortable as she squirmed around the whole time I seen her there, so I figured she wasn’t the bar-fly type. This intrigued me, so I went over to her and said “hello.” I turned on the charm a little bit and coaxed her into a drink as I made discussion about our beverages. Got her to the pool table, where I could show her how to shoot straight with the pool cue and stayed with her the whole night. I didn’t leave with her,(she was wayy too shy),But I did get her number and texted her (on an old flip-phone)if she was going to be there Saturday night She said,”NO,” so I called her to talk her into going. (she has the nicest hips and this coy smile that I just couldn’t get enough of!)
After bribing her by buying all her drinks,if she would play just one more game of pool with me that night,I finally got her in my truck. I drove for an hour on back country roads and we had a really enlightening talk. Seems we both were looking for a sane person with a bit of intellect to be a little more than casual with at times.
I later found out she has 3 kids and was divorced almost 2 years. We would shag at my place as it was private, and away from the kids. So,… the reason I’m writing this is things just grew into FWB, and it was more benefits than with friendship. She wasn’t a hunk of flesh to me, she was actually a very nice woman whom I was developing feelings for, but I kept it in check b/c I didn’t want to get involved in her kids lives. She never really sized me up; but she did ask my view on certain family issues. Being a Father I answered candidly and politely. We were together about 5 months, and then the “kids” started being an excuse why we couldn’t get together anymore. I prodded once out of curiosity, then let it go. That was 15yrs ago; 2 yrs after my divorce.There is lot of ground though between just a warm body and being best friends.
Agreed, But I am now in NO WAY seeking :best friends: with a female. All that will get the male is “Usury.”
There was one woman in particular I met a couple years ago that I had a very strong physical attraction to. Was a lot of fun on a typical date. However, one date, she wanted me to hang out for wine and cheese and listen to jazz first before went out. Not my thing at all. Another date, we were going to watch football together. I just wanted her to go away. There were aspects of her personality (and physicality) that I loved, yet other aspects of her personality that I couldn’t stand.
Very true ,…and I totally agree. There were a lot of things with Brunette mommy that I couldn’t stand,yet she had this cutesy thing about her that made me just want to rip her jeans off and F*** her !
And perhaps that part of the reason relationships are such crap these days. The expectation that the other person is perfect for you, meets all your needs in all situations, and someone you want around you in all situations…is utterly ridiculous.
…and I’m rambling. I’m not sure what my point is.
No, you aren’t rambling. You made a good point.
Marry again, Hell NO ! ( Even JESUS was hung on a cross just once)
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