Funny Story: Confused Lesbian Sucks Me Off In The Woods

[DiscerningGentlemanParticipant 21]

I was at work quite recently (Doorman) and bumped in to someone who used to visit the club I worked at a few years back.

We got talking and he introduced me to his female friend.

He was Gay and she was a Lesbian, but I noticed she was quite forward in making convo with me.

We all got talking about sexuality. She was talking about gender identity and got genuinely offended because I refereed to Transgenders as Transsexuals – apparently ‘Transsexual’ is an archaic offensive term that shouldn’t be used, as it’s no longer politically correct.

I said “Well do you find the term ‘Ladyboys’ offensive?”

She said “Oh no because that is the ‘brand-name’ of Thai Transgenders.”

I laughed at her, commenting how completely ridiculous that sounded.

After work at 4am, I gave them both a lift home in my car. As I was driving her home she continued to talk about sexuality, calling me ignorant, saying:

“You don’t and will never understand because you’re a straight guy.”

I brushed it off, laughing. She was telling me how all men are jerks and all of this other nonsense.

I parked up at her house and she suggested we go for a drive elsewhere and park.

I drove to the local woods and we had a walk around. I sensed she was maybe fishing for me to make a pass at her. We had a walk around for 15 mins and we got back in the car. I made no attempt to kiss her or anything.

She looked at me and said “But I thought you wanted your dick sucking?”

I was absolutely gobsmacked!

We got out of the car and I took her to a discreet spot and she got on her knees and gave me the best blowjob I’ve ever had!

She wanted to f~~~ but we had no condom, so instead I put my hands down her pants, rubbing and fingering her, kissing her neck.

She was loving it, and then very loudly came! Then she abruptly pulled my hand from her jeans, panicking, looking at my hand.

“I’ve never been this wet before… This has never happened… Not with a guy… Oh no… I can’t believe this…”

She suddenly became really quiet, awkward, and just wanted to go home.

On the way home she realised she completely soaked her jeans through and was even more freaked out! I parked up outside her house. We sat in an awkward silence until I said “Aren’t you meant to be a Lesbian?”

She said “I am a Lesbian.”

“Yeah but you obviously like guys… Or dick.”

“Yeah but I am a Lesbian.”

“No you’re bi-sexual.”

“I am a Lesbian because Lesbian is the label which I most closely identify with.”

“Yeah but how does that work when you have just sucked me off?”

She then got out of the car and stormed off in her house. Clearly she was confused or frustrated or just in denial or something!

I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw that she left a big wet patch on the car seat!

———-

Anyone else got any amusing stories to share?

[Anonymous 54]

Hey man a blow job is a blow job right!haha. I had a bi girlfriend for a while,but the sex was a lame. It was like she had a touch she would use with other women.wierd.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Sounds like you have found your next crazy ex stalker girl friend

Peace brothers

[bigboy83Participant 11312]

I have heard from lesbians, say “Real dick is better,” or “they miss dick.”

Shit Tested, Cunt Approved.

[Anonymous 54]

bigboy83 wrote:

I have heard from lesbians, say “Real dick is better,” or “they miss dick.”

Yes, they’ll some times have trios with a guy. I’ve been offerd before,but one of them was always ugly. Darn shame.

[Anonymous 18]

I think you are a would-be mangina OP.

I sense he and his gfs (whom he will likely never get to f~~~) thought it’d be cool to see how many thirsty men here would applaud a vague BJ story.

Waste of space.

[Anonymous 24]

Sounds like dating material to me. I get my dick sucked and sex if I bring a condom along, and she has no intention of making me her boyfriend / manslave, cause, she is a lesbian ya know?

Joe gives this situation 10 stars.

[KaidoParticipant 2395]

The old female lying trick. “I am a lesbian” No you are bi “But I am a lesbian. LOL! Women can never swallow the truth. Their perception is nothing but lies

What people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle. Rise above. Focus on science.

[DiscerningGentlemanParticipant 21]

The funny thing, and the relevance of the story, was clearly how conflicted and unsure she was about her own sexual identity and sense of self.

She was so quick to call me out as a typical straight male pig ignorant of LGBTQ culture, but then willingly sucked me off and got freaked out when she liked it, and to boot had a typical emotional and irrational reaction/tantrum when I then called her out on it.

Obviously just another sad frustrated irrational woman. 10/10 dick sucking skills though.

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10910]

DorkShit wrote:

Sounds like you have found your next crazy ex stalker girl friend

Or avoided her being confused and accusing you of raping her. This story could have easily escalated into a very bad situation. Laughing and taunting her could have been the match that ignited a powder keg.
Consider yourself lucky. There are campus frat guys who do the very same thing and then wake up the next morning with a rape charge against them. Please tread lightly if you are around her again.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[BoarParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

I think you are a would-be mangina OP.

I sense he and his gfs (whom he will likely never get to f~~~) thought it’d be cool to see how many thirsty men here would applaud a vague BJ story.

Waste of space.

I tend to agree. Arguing with a woman about her sexuality is MGTOW how?

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Mr. Spock wrote:

confused and accusing you of raping her

Is she confused or just bat s~~~ crazy.
Mr. Spock is right. You dodged a bullet and might not be as lucky a second time.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[narrow road travelerParticipant 1680]

I think some womens own group preference leads them to think that they arelesbians. She seems really crazy though because she traded sexual gratification for a trip back home and a.pleasent evening. That’s normal for most straight women, but kind of alien to an ungrateful cupcake lesbian.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. --Sun Tsu

[Max PowerParticipant 2721]

I would advise avoiding all such risky contact with women as much as humanly possible.

Dangerous.

[AttonParticipant]

Only a rather small number of humans are actually homosexual at all. You might be lucky to find maybe one or two in your life time. But homosexuality by its very nature doesn’t function in a sexually reproducing species. Anyone who inherits it is pretty much a biological dead end until rather recently. Honestly I would say that most people who identify as homosexual or trans likely do so because of trauma in their lives rather than a biological compulsion to do something. In her case you more likely than not just triggered her actual biology.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Welcome ,

Why not make an introduction.

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

And why is it the crazy womem give the best head?

Haha, I know. I think prob over 75% of the girls ive been with were ‘bi’.

[Author]

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