Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › For Those Who Still Have to Deal w/a Female – Accountability & Apologies
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Ancientwisdom 1 year, 9 months ago.
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Spare us the ‘NFG brah’ comments if the following doesn’t apply to you.
Some of us still have to deal w/females. Whether it be a family member, ex-wife, or even simply baggage you’re carrying around from some form of a past relationship. For me personally, this applies to having to deal w/one of my only family members left who happens to be a female. And it speaks volumes to me. In the chance that it helps other men, I wanted to share it.
This video was so spot on. Normally I can’t stand this guy, but I can’t agree more w/his analysis here.
Some Cliff Notes –
” The most important three words in a relationship are NOT: ‘I love you’ or ‘I care for you’ , they are ‘I am sorry’. If someone doesn’t give you that, then their ego takes precedent over their relationship w/you.
Resident cynic.
Anonymous42” The most important three words in a relationship are NOT: ‘I love you’ or ‘I care for you’ , they are ‘I am sorry’. If someone doesn’t give you that, then their ego takes precedent over their relationship w/you.
I still have to deal with women, but with the understanding of how this society has perverted them into what they are now.
Like an adult looking at a thoroughly pampered and spoiled child that only has concern for itself with no empathy, remorse, or concern for others.
I will likely never be close to any women indoctrinated this way (AWALT), I learned to keep my distance, and that distance includes family and extended family that display this narcissism.
I learned to keep my distance, and that distance includes family and extended family that display this narcissism.
I agree w/you, but I also have a female sibling who is literally one of the only family members I have left. We have a strained relationship, and she has the personality type explained in the video – NEVER takes personal responsibility for hurtful actions, NEVER apologizes, and ALWAYS assume’s everything is my fault. Constantly – deflecting, flipping the script, and self-victimizing.
That s~~~ is beyond bearable. It’s exhausting.
The main points in this video really resonated w/me to that extent.
For others that are forced to deal w/female relationships, hopefully this shed some light on it.
Resident cynic.
When dealing with them weeminz, play their game. Say one thing, think another, and on your time ignore them. I let my ex send me emails that almost always go unanswered because 99% of the time there’s nothing in it for me. A man has to work to get rid of blue pill conditioning. So, always ask yourself ‘what’s in it for me?’. Screw apologies, worth dick. Actions are what I’m looking for.
Look for ways to avoid having to play their game at all.
Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.
WOW – lots of truth there.
For a therapist to actually admit this out loud takes b~~~~ (at 8:14) – that you have to TRAIN her to be accountable or you will “live with the fact that you don’t matter and more importantly, you never will”. I’m sure women hearing this bristle.
“Her s~~~tiness is proportional to your lack of spine”.
“A life sentence with an emotional 4 year old”.
The part about calling her out on her behavior and withdrawing if she doesn’t yield: Yup – I did this for years and it didn’t work b/c I’d already married her and as long as her selfish needs were being met (kids, nice house, flashy SUV, and things in general) she didn’t care if I withdrew.
She didn’t give a s~~~ if I retreated and did guy things – went on hunting trips, sat outside “withdrawn” from her. Nope. As long as the meal ticket was still present and paying for everything, taking care kids’ needs, etc it didn’t matter how I felt.
She didn’t give a s~~~ if we were “connected”, if I was “happy” and basically didn’t care about ME at all. She was her #1 priority and still is.
So, the therapist while he means well doesn’t take into account that women will “act” like they own mistakes before you marry them. They will say “sorry” before you marry them. Then, once the ring goes on and you are trapped they don’t own their childish behavior or their mistakes and withdrawing from them or calling them out will not work. Leaving them is the only cure.
Actually never marrying them is the only true inoculation against their selfishness.
A man has to work to get rid of blue pill conditioning. So, always ask yourself ‘what’s in it for me?’.
I posted this video because it spoke to me regarding my relationship w/my sister. I realize that doesn’t always translate well here in the Manosphere, but I thought I made it clear in my OP that it pertained to females men were FORCED to interact with.
I don’t want to merely walk away from a relationship w/one of my few blood relatives left. Yet I still have problems w/her. That was the intent and purpose of me posting this video.
If other’s can’t relate – that’s fine.
Resident cynic.
Sisters are GOOBS! Family is the most valuable thing in the world. And the one thing they did the best to destroy.
The only good thing that came from my Hellish life, was that it woke up my sister. I still don’t think she did it due to her going “WOW, I could never see it” More like.. “There really is nothing good for me down this path”
I can’t really be sure. But I’m glad that I never was the Fuddy Duddy Older brother.
Keeping your relationships with your family are important. But it seems like today, everything is out there to break this down. I see so much consumerism. But hardly any family time pushed during the holidays. Or even through the year.
I can’t speak for any of you, but I found the most important thing is to never let your sisters forget that just because you are older, balder, and grayer, does not mean you have to be that.
The best part of my life today is being an uncle. Its bitter sweet. But… there are 3 of them. And BOY are the 2 youngest ones fun as beans!
Sometimes, I wonder if women need a real tragedy to wake up. Maybe like a shock treatment to maybe click on or something that turns on their soul so they don’t turn of the heart portion that you need in order to be at least be the sisters we grew up with.
I’m not an expert, but I could tell, for a while, she was just kind of lost. She did not even believe me about what was going on in my relationship until my ex moved in with her.
That month sort of like opened her eyes I think. But mostly, it all about the company your sisters keep. If they are s~~~ty people around her, you get a s~~~y sister.
Right now, I don’t think she even hangs out with any of her old freinds. I mean damn. All of them are train wrecks. Minus one of them. All gone either SJW Crazy, or some other weird thing.
Girls are weird man. Still not sure if totally human out of the box. But it does seem that there is some Cataclysmic event needed to jump start the part of them that’s suppose to not forget that she is your sister when she grows up.
If I had one piece of advice. Never fall away from forgetting she is your sister. IF SHE LOOKS UGLY.. Tell her she stinks too! And if she stinks. Make sure to tell her she is fat. It helps if you pretend their is an earthquake happening when she walk around. Even if she’s really skinny.
And if she wears glasses? ALWAYS REMEMBER to ask her about what’s happening tomorrow. Cus you KNOW she can see in the future.
Oh and whatever you do. NEVER date your sisters freinds. DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. I don’t care if they Throw themselves on you at the airport and start giving you lap dances. DON’T DO IT!
Everything else is just kind of up in the air. But I think if your little sister is still in there someplace. Try to make sure she never forgets about herself.
Sisters are Dumb anyways. It’s good to let them know that at least each time you talk to them. 🙂
Wish you the best of luck that have sisters or siblings.
OH and PRO TIP. They get really REALLY angry if you put plastic spiders in their visor in the summer time. DO NOT DO THAT WHEN THEY ARE DRIVING.
DO NOT.
You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home
Women are largely egocentric, just like children are.
Usually children outgrow egocentrism as a stage, but when they don’t, they often become either narcissists or sociopaths as adults.
I consider most women to be borderline sociopaths.
http://theconversation.com/women-can-be-psychopaths-too-in-ways-more-subtle-but-just-as-dangerous-84200I suspect that sociopathy is vastly under-diagnosed in women, because it manifests itself differently in women than in men, and more subtly. It may also be undiagnosed because it is simply considered normal female behavior. (e.g. women who marry good men, then throw them away like garbage after f~~~ing a Chad and then divorce rape them)
All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.
Anonymous12” The most important three words in a relationship are NOT: ‘I love you’ or ‘I care for you’ , they are ‘I am sorry’. If someone doesn’t give you that, then their ego takes precedent over their relationship w/you.
i do not say apologize with a cheesy “i am sorry”.
but i build a phrase; “i know i messed up here ” “i am not proud to have said that” – to show her i am aware and -indirectly- sorry for the fallout.My Sports-friend however…
she turns and runs, and dodges the s~~~ out of an awkward situation, never fesses up.Which is why she is no more than my little walking cumdumpster.
Anonymous42I agree w/you, but I also have a female sibling who is literally one of the only family members I have left. We have a strained relationship, and she has the personality type explained in the video – NEVER takes personal responsibility for hurtful actions, NEVER apologizes, and ALWAYS assume’s everything is my fault. Constantly – deflecting, flipping the script, and self-victimizing.
You’re not indebted to make a dysfunctional relationship work, allot of life is letting people close to you dwell and suffer in their own insanity, you need to seal yourself off from that, there no hope for repentance without isolation, otherwise the train of abuse will run forever and the disease of narcissism will never be eradicated from the relationship, your role in a dysfunctional relationship can only be dysfunctional at best, dragging you down and marginalizing you as a human being. It’s a grinding position to be in, don’t let it wear you down.
I have a number of female coworkers that I have to deal with. We only talk about work. I don’t engage anybody socially beyond the minimum necessary to not draw attention to myself as a hermit. It’s an art form to engage minimally. One of my coworkers gets to work, shuts his door, and his being completely unplugged from the office is rather conspicuous.
Cupcakes are Cold. MGTOW is Absolute Zero.
“Let us wait a little; when your enemy is executing a false movement, never interrupt him” –Napoleon Bonaparte, 1805
Anonymous9” The most important three words in a relationship are NOT: ‘I love you’ or ‘I care for you’ , they are ‘I am sorry’. If someone doesn’t give you that, then their ego takes precedent over their relationship w/you.
Women rarely apologize for anything. I’m not sure if it’s because they sincerely think they can’t do anything wrong. Women have come and gone in my life, but I can only remember one sincere apology from a woman.
It was when she acted like a c~~~, but she later actually apologized for it! Those are very rare occurrences.
WOW – lots of truth there.
For a therapist to actually admit this out loud takes b~~~~ (at 8:14) – that you have to TRAIN her to be accountable or you will “live with the fact that you don’t matter and more importantly, you never will”. I’m sure women hearing this bristle.
“Her s~~~tiness is proportional to your lack of spine”.
“A life sentence with an emotional 4 year old”.
The part about calling her out on her behavior and withdrawing if she doesn’t yield: Yup – I did this for years and it didn’t work b/c I’d already married her and as long as her selfish needs were being met (kids, nice house, flashy SUV, and things in general) she didn’t care if I withdrew.
She didn’t give a s~~~ if I retreated and did guy things – went on hunting trips, sat outside “withdrawn” from her. Nope. As long as the meal ticket was still present and paying for everything, taking care kids’ needs, etc it didn’t matter how I felt.
She didn’t give a s~~~ if we were “connected”, if I was “happy” and basically didn’t care about ME at all. She was her #1 priority and still is.
So, the therapist while he means well doesn’t take into account that women will “act” like they own mistakes before you marry them. They will say “sorry” before you marry them. Then, once the ring goes on and you are trapped they don’t own their childish behavior or their mistakes and withdrawing from them or calling them out will not work. Leaving them is the only cure.
Actually never marrying them is the only true inoculation against their selfishness.
Yes, and this is where the therapist in the video needed to be a little more brutally honest. It doesn’t necessarily work after you marry them. Not in todays “family” court system and the gynocentric society in general, which by default sides with the woman. She’s got her biased “referees” in every strata of society. She wil just divorce you and take at least half the stuff and the kids. You will eventually be free from her but the therapist guy doesn’t really go this far in his honesty. And he should. Because him telling this to guys that are married trying this are going to be in for a rude surprise he has not even mentioned to them as a real possibility.
Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.
I think this a great post. If you have any sort of long term relationship with anyone both parties are likely to make mistakes requiring an apology at some point. If no apology is ever forthcoming its time to bail. This is one of the things that caused me to break off relationships with my father and mother. I realised I had never heard either party EVER say sorry to anyone in their entire lives
This guy is pretty spot on. I’ve admitted my shortcomings when I was married, but my ex hasn’t ONCE admitted any fault whatsoever. It’s narcissism at it’s finest.
Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.
I’ve admitted my shortcomings when I was married, but my ex hasn’t ONCE admitted any fault whatsoever. It’s narcissism at it’s finest.
Same. On the rare occasions they come up, the language that is employed is “we made mistakes.” Always with the distancing pronouns.
Cupcakes are Cold. MGTOW is Absolute Zero.
“Let us wait a little; when your enemy is executing a false movement, never interrupt him” –Napoleon Bonaparte, 1805My favorites when my STBX f~~~ed up or lets call it what it was – intentionally just didn’t do the right thing. It could have been asking to help with a bill (she paid none, made almost 6 digits but was always broke) or a simple contribution to the household to do list.
“I did my best”
“It is what it is”
“Look I just don’t have it”
“Oh well”
“You ask me to help when you know I can’t – that’s just wrong”
“I’ll try, but don’t depend on me”
“I know I said I would, but I just can’t”
“Oh, oops. I forgot – can you just do it?”
“Nah – that’s not going to work for me”Yes, and this is where the therapist in the video needed to be a little more brutally honest. It doesn’t necessarily work after you marry them. Not in todays “family” court system and the gynocentric society in general, which by default sides with the woman. She’s got her biased “referees” in every strata of society. She wil just divorce you and take at least half the stuff and the kids. You will eventually be free from her but the therapist guy doesn’t really go this far in his honesty. And he should. Because him telling this to guys that are married trying this are going to be in for a rude surprise he has not even mentioned to them as a real possibility.
I completely agree. That’s where the therapist f~~~ed up, and that’s the distinction between MRA’s and MGTOW. He thinks there’s a viable solution. It’s ironic because you can see and hear the righteous indignation seething from him in the video, yet does he really think someone who acts so sociopathic is going to be reasonable?
The MRA’s as a whole are like a big, sexy machine gun, but filled w/rubber bullets.
Resident cynic.
This guy is pretty spot on. I’ve admitted my shortcomings when I was married, but my ex hasn’t ONCE admitted any fault whatsoever. It’s narcissism at it’s finest.
It’s even worse than you describe. I saw a graphic in the Manosphere that explained it perfectly. It goes like this (for the man):
I do something wrong->You get mad->I apologize
You do something wrong->I get mad->You get mad that I’m mad–>I apologize
That’s how men have it in any form of a relationship w/women.
Resident cynic.
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