If you’d like more background, feel free to go read my intro and posts, but the short of it is I have been here for a while now, I think nearly 18 months. My wife and I are semi-separated, that means separated but not divorced and no separation paperwork. She lives three states away.
I drove those three states yesterday, 450+ miles to spend Christmas with her and our adult daughter. The daughter has been there for a week already, but normally lives with me. I was going to travel Friday, arriving late, but was told to rest and just come Saturday instead. So I did. I arrived around dinner time to find her sleeping, house not yet ready, even though she called me at one to find out when I would be in. After I went out and bought everyone pizza, we were chilling, me obviously getting the vibe this isn’t cool, but letting it slide because I am trying to be peaceful and remain stoic.
Around 8 she leaves, saying she has to “go somewhere”. She says she won’t be long. So I figure she forgot something, whatever. At 10:30 I went to bed. In her bed, after texting and asking where I was to sleep. Of course, the bed isn’t made, sheets smell like her and a guy, and pillows are everywhere. Bedside drawer is full of lube and KY his and hers. Stoic as ever, and tired as s~~~, I decide to go to sleep. At about 11:30 I hear her come into the house, she had texted saying she had some online sales to handle, trading goods and s~~~.
I let I slide, being Christmas weekend, NFG and all.
Christmas Eve day, Sunday, I get up, get a shower and hang out. We are doing Christmas that day so around 11 I am hungry and heat up a piece of pizza from the night before, because of course, no food. Not that I expected any, but s~~~, I am a guest here.
Queue the dinner making, which was relatively drama free, but she kept finding things she forgot so I went to the store… Twice.
Finally dinner comes, all seems ok. Presents and we have a quiet nice evening. Sometime in the early evening she denies a call from her ‘friend’ who I know he lives there, and then calls him back while taking the dog out. I know the guy wants to come home and be where his stuff is, but she convinces him otherwise.
So, I go to bed around 11, she stays up. After doing her nails, she takes a call and disappears… I thought just to the other room and drift off. So, around three thirty I wake up having to pee. She isn’t in bed, so knowing she has passed out outside before, I go check, no dog, no her. As I wander through the house, I bump something and the dog barks from the room he is sleeping in with my daughter… One down. Dog is inside and not in danger of freezing.
Look outside, car is here, noise coming from basement. Go downstairs, which is tricky as s~~~ in this old house… Tv on, heater blaring, she is sleeping on the couch there. Now, take it, an unfinished, concrete basement, with a tv on a stand, a throw rug and two couches, which is her stoner nephews hangout, and she is passed out there in front of the tv. Try to wake her to get her to go sleep upstairs where it is warmer than fifty-five. No joy. Try again, no joy.
So I go upstairs and ponder. I take all of the lube and s~~~ from the drawer and out in a ziploc and hide it.
I look in the bedroom armoire and find all of his clothes. Well, no denying he lives there now.
Take pictures of all the beer drinking memorabilia in the bedroom, which I thought might be her dads but now know isn’t. Pack my s~~~, woke my kid and told her and tried one last time, after thirty minutes defrosting the car, to wake her to tell her I was leaving. No joy, still can’t rouse her though the tv is now silent.
So I left. Am at my parents now, sitting in the living room waiting for Christmas, at 5:30am, which they need to sleep and rest, so that won’t start till say ten, we will have dinner at one and I will make the 8+ hour drive home.
Think it can’t happen to you, that your snowflake is not like this…
Think again.
No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.
Point Of No Return 2 years, 1 month ago.
